


Findings and decisions

by split



Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: Eli is a Hero, Hurt/Comfort, I mean reeeeally slow building, M/M, Near Death, Season 3, Slash content somewhere along the way, The Way Home, Unusual Alliances, new aliens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-31 02:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 91,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/split/pseuds/split
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Destiny reaches the next galaxy and Young and Rush wake from stasis, but something is wrong. Eli's pod is empty and the clock reading of the ship just can't be right...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The lost star 1/3

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [cleanwhiteroom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleanwhiteroom/gifts).
  * A translation of [Erkenntnisse und Entscheidungen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/892726) by [split](https://archiveofourown.org/users/split/pseuds/split). 



> This is the translation of my German SGU fanfiction. If you're able to read German I suggest you read the original.
> 
> My heartfelt thanks go to Master Of All Imagination who made this readable. You did an amazing job. All mistakes left are my fault ^_^

When Colonel Everett Young opened his eyes, he didn’t feel rested at all. He and Camille had been joking that three years in stasis would be more than enough rest. But the stasis pod had obviously not only frozen his bodily functions but also his exhaustion. It felt like he had just said goodbye to Rush and Eli.

With a deep breath he shook off a slight feeling of confusion, caused by his awakening from the stasis, and stepped out of the small chamber. It was silent around him and only the stasis pod and the emergency light offered dim illumination.

Were they already there?

Why was he the only one awake?

Shouldn’t the ship have powered up everything before they woke?

There had been a specified order for the waking.

After all, Eli had programmed…

Eli!

Young’s heart stumbled and then beat faster as he remembered the young man, who had been so convinced of his own skills that he had taken the place in the last pod. Knowing that failure would mean his death.

Had he made it?

With a dull feeling in his stomach Young went to the remaining pod – to the one that Eli should be in.

To the pod that was empty and open when he finally stood before it.

Had Eli woken first? But then he would have greeted Young with his typical smirk and one of his remarks. He would run around energetically and list everything that should be done. And he would be happy that they made it, that he had been right and saved them all.

Searchingly, Young’s gaze swept over the inside of the pod, as if Eli could hide in there somewhere, but the only thing he could see in the weak illumination of the emergency light was small crystals on the outside, which looked like they had burned out.

Burned out and useless.

“No! Damn it!“

With an outraged, helpless cry, Young hit the frame of the dead stasis pod, hardly feeling the pain. He never should have allowed Eli to be left behind. That hadn’t been his job. He should have waited, should have been the one who stayed out at the end. But he had let himself been convinced by Eli’s determination and he hadn’t wanted to die if there was this small hope.

Young breathed shakily in, out, and in again, even if it was hard. As he tried to calm down he finally noticed the kino sitting on the floor in front of him.

He lifted the small sphere and went to the stasis pod Rush occupied. The man was still standing there, with straight back and uplifted head, as though it had been only a few moments ago when they had turned it on. A few moments which in reality were years. The brown hair swept from his forehead and cheeks and chin covered by a stubby beard, already gray in some places. Destiny had made all of them older and the tension, which Rush had exuded continuously, was even there in this situation.

On the glass surface of the chamber he could also see his own faint reflection. His black hair was still too long, wildly curled and far from a military cut. His black BDU was worn from the time on Destiny and he was so tired that the only thing he wanted was a bed.

Young breathed in deeply again to concentrate and was reminded be the heavy, cold air that Destiny awoke only slowly. But it wasn’t icy, so life support must have been started some time before his wakening. He had no idea what else was working and what would happen next, aside from the ship hopefully heading into a star, if they actually had reached their destination.

It couldn’t be helped. He needed Rush, and thus he ended the cryo sleep of the scientist exactly like Eli had showed him. A small hissing sound, then the light went on in the pod and the fogged glass cleared. A few moments later it opened and Rush opened his eyes. No blinking, no staggering. He just stood there motionless and seemed to gather himself.

“We still live.” Possibly it should have been only a cool statement, but Young could hear the surprise and relief in those words. He also didn’t miss the slightly amused twitch in the corner of his mouth.

He only nodded slightly, while Rush stepped out of the pod and took a look around. “We are the first, I assume? Good. I have to go into the interface control room and find out our current situation. The others will have to wait.” During his monologue Rush had walked to the damaged stasis pod and now watched it suspiciously. “Where is Eli?”

As an answer, Young held up the kino. „He wasn’t there. Only this. I have to...“ Young cleared his throat before going on. “I want to watch this first, before we continue and wake all the others.”

Rush nodded slowly, his face a neutral mask. “Status check first, then the recording.”

 

The way to the control room seemed like an eternity to Young. When they finally reached it, lit by the emergency light, Rush started working immediately while Young took a puzzled look around. Under the consoles lay blankets, a mattress, and other assorted scattered items. Amongst them were medicine and bandages, obviously from TJ’s inventory. There was a spacesuit in the corner, too. It seemed like Eli had spend most of his time in here. The room was total chaos. Young swallowed questions concerning the matter that Rush wouldn’t be able to answer anyway, and watched him instead making entries on one of the consoles.

“How is it?” Young wanted to know impatiently when Rush didn’t say anything.

“At first glance, good,” came the hesitant answer finally. “All systems operational. Life support, engines… We are headed directly into a star and we should reach it in about four hours. But…”

“But what?”

“This clock readout can’t be right. And the energy level is strange, too. But we are definitely at the edge of the next galaxy.”

“What about the clock readout?” Young wanted to know immediately.

“It’s been just 27 months, only two third of the estimated time. And energy isn’t nearly as spend as calculated. Honestly colonel, these readings don’t make any sense.” Rush looked openly at him and Young didn’t know if Rush’s obvious confusion should trouble him or not.

“Maybe there is an answer in here.” He gave the kino to the scientist, who took it wordlessly and downloaded the data.

Young stood beside him silently while the monitor flickered, and then Eli’s happy face appeared. He seemed tired but enthusiastic. Exactly like Young had seen him last.

 

// „Day 1. Rush and Young went into stasis about an hour ago. Destiny is completely silent and it’s almost creepy, being all alone here.” Eli took a short look to the left and right and leant conspiratorial closer until his slightly rounded face took all of the monitor. “And any moment now nasty killer aliens might appear out of nowhere and take over control.” He took a second glance around, shook off the feeling, and went on speaking normally. “1700 Pages! You have to be kidding. Well, time to work...“ //

 

The picture changed and Eli looked tired as he spoke into the camera again.

 

// “Day 3. I’ve hardly eaten, or slept, and I’ve only finished about half of it. Until now there wasn’t any solution for my problem. Those technical instructions aren’t exactly bestseller adventures. Considering my luck, the solution is somewhere on the last 50 pages… It’s really lonely here and did I mention that the silence is really creepy?” //

 

The picture changed again and Eli grinned into the camera, the tiredness even more obvious than before. Under his eyes lay dark shadows. He sat on the floor of the stasis pod, surrounded by bits and pieces.

 

// “Day 6. I’m officially the greatest expert on Ancient stasis pods in the whole universe… okay, at least amongst humans. I don’t ever want to see any text in my life again. Only numbers. Numbers are great. Numbers are brilliant. But I finally identified the problem. I did analyze the other damaged pods of this section and none of them could be repaired, but at least I can take a spare part from one of them and if everything works, I will be frozen food like everyone else in no time…” //

 

// “Day 9. It took longer than I thought, but now it’s time to say good bye. Moment of truth has come. I have ran the diagnostic and tested everything countless times, and it all looks fine. System is stable and I’m still on schedule. I’ll shut down everything now and, well, hope that nothing goes wrong and I’ll wake with everyone else. If it doesn’t work… Wow, I’m nervous. But hey, I’m a genius. No reasons for worries there. Everything will be fine, piece of cake. We’ll meet on the other side…”//

 

The monitor went black and Young looked at Rush, who looked as surprised as himself. If Eli had gone into stasis, why wasn’t he there now? Young doubted that Eli had woken before them and was now walking around the ship without saying anything. With some delay the monitor flickered again and Eli appeared once more, an expression of fear in his face.

 

// “Day… no clue.” He ran his hand through his hair in a tired, distracted motion. “FTL is offline and my stasis pod short circuited. The system is fried and I’m lucky I’m not fried too. It’s unbelievable, but we’re on our way into a star.” Eli directed the kino away from himself, so one could see that he was standing on the observation deck. Beyond the great window, a star burned in the darkness of space. Then the camera focused back on Eli. “This thing behind me is a runaway star. I’m gonna use it to recharge our energy reserves, and after that… I have to find a way to solve the stasis pod issue. Because the one I repaired is now definitely useless. I know, I should wake you, anyone, but…”

He shook his head and grabbed the kino. The picture went blank for a moment before it showed Eli at another place. By now he looked totally exhausted and it was more then obvious, that he wasn’t eating enough.

“Okay, that’s it. There is nothing more I can do. If everything works you’ll probably be wondering why we’re already there. Maybe you’ve already read the ship’s log. I’ll make it short: I think Destiny has been disrupted by the electromagnetic radiation of a solar flare from the star we met. Whatever the reason was for the FTL going offline, no one can be so lucky.” Eli’s gaze wandered to the side for a moment before he shook his head and spoke again. “I spend the last weeks doing some repairs on the ship, like I’ve already mentioned, reloading Destiny and reprogramming the FTL. Should arrive a lot sooner now. You’ll ask yourself why I didn’t wake someone. But there are different reasons for that. Maybe…” He stopped in the middle of the sentence and let his gaze wander to the side again. Something seemed to distract him.

“Anyway, everything I could do is done now, but my main problem of the stasis remains. Even with the reload I can’t stay awake for the rest of the way. And honestly, I wouldn’t be able to stand it. But I found a solution…. At least, I hope so. It’s my last chance, as far as I can see... During the repairs in the last weeks I found another stasis section. It only has a few units and it’s located in some secluded technical section, damaged before our arrival. There’s a breach in that part which hasn’t been repaired yet and I’m not able to do it myself, so there is no atmosphere. But one of the pods is definitely intact. Only this part isn’t connected to the system anymore. Find me. Get me out of there, because I won’t wake automatically with you…” //

He seemed to want to say something else. But he only shook his head and whispered a soft ‘good luck’ before the picture ceased and the monitor showed only some diagrams and data.

 

For a moment there was nothing but silence. Young was speechless at first, an then he turned to Rush.

“Can you find him?” he demanded of Rush, who immediately started typing on the console.

“What the hell did Eli do the whole time? … There it is.” Rush accessed a map of the ship and indicated a remote section. “He should be there. It’s a damaged area, but there is a weak energy reading that wasn’t there before.”

“Help me to get the spacesuit on and guide me there. I will look for Eli, and in the meantime you will wake the first section and send TJ, Greer and Scoot to me. The others shall help you here.”

Rush checked the power level of the space suit, then helped Young into it.

They left the room together, but shortly thereafter parted ways. While Rush went back to the stasis sections, Young followed the instructions he had gotten from him.

The longer life support was on, the better the air got. Breathing felt easier. Young had the urge to run, which was effectively prevented by the suit. In any case, there wasn’t any reason to be in a hurry. As long as Eli was in stasis everything was alright; and if he hadn’t made it, time had no meaning anymore. But it was exactly this uncertainty that was driving Young into a rush. He had to know that the young man was well… that they all had made it. Not because of the sacrifice of one person.

His heavy footfalls made the silence nearly tangible as he passed the corridors under the emergency light. It seemed to take an eternity again till he reached a locked door with a big cross drawn with chalk on it. Behind it could only be the damaged section.

“Rush, this is Young. I’ve found it and I’m going in.“

“Wait a second,” came the quick respond over the radio.

There was a short break, then TJ’s voice. “Colonel?”

“TJ, is everything alright?”

“Yes, no complications during the waking so far. Greer and Scott are here too.”

“Good, let Rush explain everything and show you the way. Wait for me at the second door near the locked section. I will radio you when I’m back.”

“Copied, sir.”

Young switched off the radio and tucked it away before putting on his helmet and activating his magnetic boots. There was no way of knowing if there would be any gravity on the other side. After he had checked everything properly, he shut the door behind him and opened the one in front of him. Immediately a strong pull set in, only letting go when all atmosphere had escaped. Then he started walking. He had been prepared for a search, but Eli had left obvious tracks. Along the wall was a white, shaky chalkline. This worried Young, along with the state of the section. There was a wide gap in the floor and the damage on the inside couldn’t be ignored either. This place had no energy left and therefore no artificial gravity. The stasis pods in here must have been self-sustained or else they wouldn’t have been any use to Eli.

He worked his way through the corridor, one hand on the wall, following the white line till it finally ended abruptly at a half opened door. The opening was barely wide enough to get through with the space suit. The room behind was small and housed exactly four stasis pods. At one of them, the control crystals were shimmering slightly. When Young stood in front of it, however, he had to look down before spotting Eli. The space suit covered the shape of the young man who was half cowering on the floor of the pod. That didn’t look good. But he hadn’t looked healthy at all on the last recording of the kino. Whatever had happened in the weeks Eli had been awake, he obviously hadn’t wasted much thought on eating.

But he wouldn’t get anywhere by puzzling about it. He only had to get Eli out of there now, and they could answer all questions later. Young’s heart was beating far too fast as he deactivated the stasis pod. It took some moments before the device shut down. Eli’s body started to float in weightlessness as the pod opened. Obviously the pod had its own gravity field.

Young instantly grabbed the younger one by the arms. “Eli. Eli! Are you awake?”

“Colonel … found me,” he replied weakly, a faint smile on his lips behind the visor of the helmet.

“Yeah, I did. Hang on. Can you walk?“

Eli shook his head slightly. He must have walked into that pod on his last strength.

“Okay, no problem. We can do this. Just hang in there.”

Eli nodded, his eyes half closed. Thanks to the weightlessness Young trekked Eli without much effort out of the small room and brought him back to the closed door. On the way he radioed Rush. “I found Eli. TJ shall stand by. Reestablish the atmosphere as soon as I have shut the door behind me.”

“Understood.”

“Eli, talk to me. Stay awake.“

„Hmmm, ‘m tired,“ Eli mumbled, and didn’t say anything else.

Young was relieved when he finally reached the door and shut it behind him.

“Now. Rush!” Gravity was established again and the ventilation came to life with a loud fizzling. He fell to his knees, taking Eli with him to the floor. It seemed to take an eternity till he heard the second door open.

“TJ!”

“I’m here.”

Young freed himself from his helmet and then helped Eli with his before the blond woman reached them.

“Eli, can you hear me? What happened?” the medic ask as she knelt down and took Eli’s pulse.

“No idea. We have to get him out of the suit and into the infirmary. Scott! Greer!”

“Yes, sir!” Both young men had been standing directly behind TJ and came closer now. Together they carefully released Eli from the space suit and helped him sit up.

“Everything’s fine. Just tired,” Eli mumbled again and again, but he obviously had no energy left to help them. He could hardly keep his eyes open.

Young took one step back and observed them while he began to get rid of his own suit.

Eli was alive. Everyone had made it, but something still wasn’t right. This wasn’t the result of tiredness and too little food. As Eli’s left arm was freed from the suit, it even became more apparent. His skin was red from fingertips to elbow, partially covered with blisters and scabs.

“Oh my god.” TJ put her hands over her mouth in alarm. Greer and Scott tried to hurry and be as careful as possible at the same time, not knowing what other injuries Eli might have. Young looked away from the sight, finally getting rid of the suit completely and letting it slight to the ground. They could come and get them later, when everything had calmed down.

“Young, do you read?” Rush’s voice sounded from the radio at TJ’s belt. Young got it from her and answered while they finally made their way to the infirmary. Luckily Greer and Scoot didn’t ask any questions as they carried Eli between them.

“Young here.”

There was a short pause before Rush’s voice came again. “Do you have him?”

“Yes, but he isn’t in a good shape. We’re bringing him to the infirmary.”

“Leave it to the others and come back here. This will interest you. Rush over.”

Young rolled his eyes and sighed. Nothing had changed. Everything was as before.

“Understood, over.” He switched off the radio and gave it back to TJ.

“How did he get down there and what caused the burns?” She asked, no and then casting worried glances at Eli.

“If only I knew. While we were sleeping, some things happened. Take care of him. Maybe he will wake up enough to give us some answers.” Young parted ways with the little group reluctantly, but TJ would take good care of Eli and he himself couldn’t do much for the young man at the moment. Accompanied by the silence of the empty hallways, he headed back to the control room to meet with Rush.

“So, what did you find?”

“I used the time to investigate the logbook. At least I have a rough roundup from Destiny’s point of view.”

“And?” Young asked impatiently.

“We had left the last galaxy behind us and had made it about a quarter of the way to the next one when a disruption overloaded the already damaged FTL drive. It was obviously caused by a solar flare from a star that wasn’t supposed to be there.”

“The runaway star?” Young remembered from Eli’s recording.

“Yes, a runaway star. A star that moves faster than its neighbors and finally leaves its original galaxy. Anyway, its electromagnetic fields disrupted Destiny’s systems. A spike short circuited Eli’s unstable stasis pod and woke him. After that, Eli was apparently extremely busy: he repaired some systems, refueled Destiny completely, entered new course calculations and did some more repairs with the help of the robots. Before he went back into stasis he entered search criteria for possible planets: food, water, resources.”

“How long was Eli out of stasis?”

“According to this? Seven weeks at least, but I can’t tell exactly.”

“That explains why we are already here, but not why Eli is in such a bad shape.”

“What shape?” Rush asked. Young recognized the open worry in the scientist’s voice.

“He has some heavy burns and he is hardly conscious. I have no idea how he made into the stasis like that. TJ is taking care of him now.”

“Good, let’s hope he is better soon. Only he can tell us what he was doing all that time.”

“Yes. Is there anything else? What about the others you’ve woken?”

“Beside the others, I only woke Chloe, and she was on her way to the infirmary. We should wait until we finish reloading Destiny before we wake anyone else.”

“Agreed. But I will contact Earth now.“

“Now?” Rush asked, skeptical.

“Yes, there is still time till we arrive, and it won’t take long. They should know that we are already awake, and I’m sure you’d like to know if they have found a new Icarus planet in the meantime.”

“Sure,” Rush responded.

Young turned away and was already half way out of the room when Rush spoke again. “But you know what’s strange, Colonel? Eli’s recording shows the moment when he comes out of stasis and then some minutes before he goes into the next one, but there is nothing in between. One should think that with all the stoic documentation he does there should be material about the weeks in between those two points.”

“Yeah, one should think so.” Young knew what Rush was aiming at. The kino they had found surely wasn’t the only one. But right now they had no time for this and Eli would tell them everything later. Now he had to go to Earth.

He took the radio from his belt and switched it on.

“Scott, Greer, do you read?”

“Yes sir,” Scott answered instantly.

“How is Eli?”

“Hard to tell, but he is stable and asleep. TJ took care of the injuries. Chloe is here too and is helping her.”

“Good. Take Greer and meet me at the communications lab.“

“Understood, sir.”

When he arrived there, the room was as silent as everything else on board the Destiny. Greer and Scott came in soon after.

“You’re contacting Earth?” Scott asked. Young nodded briefly.

“We should at least let them know that we are awake again. However, I don’t know who will be on the other end, and that’s why I need you to monitor me. If something is off, cut off the connection instantly. I should be away for an hour at most. We still don’t know how flying through a star affects the stones. If I don’t cut the connection, you do it.”

“Yes sir,” they answered in unison. Young sat down at the table the device lay on. He took it out of its casing, switched it on, and after a short hesitation put a stone on the glowing tablet. Nothing happened.

„What happened?“ Scott asked. Young shrugged one shoulder slightly.

“Nothing, obviously.” He took the stone down, cleaned it up and switched off the device.

“Do you think something happened on Earth?”

“No idea. There could be a dozen reasons and it makes no sense to speculate about it. We’ll try again when we are on the other side of the star. Make an inventory of the food and then rest. Till Destiny is refueled, there isn’t much else we can do.”

“Yes sir.”

“Dismissed.” Both men left the room while Young stayed seated for another moment. He was tired. Actually, there were uncounted reasons for the connection not working. The device on Earth could be off. Nobody awaited them, so there was no reason to leave it going. But would they have to wait a whole year until Homeworld Command would expect them and let some one near the stones? The war against the Lucian Alliance could be going bad for them as well, and there could very well be no Homeworld Command left anymore. There was really no sense in driving himself crazy with that question. They just had to try again later.

With his last bit of energy Young went to the infirmary to look after Eli, Chloe and TJ. Both women sat on the right and left of a bed in which Eli lay, talking to each other quietly, Eli either asleep or still unconscious. His left hand was bandage up to the elbow and his visibly slimmer body was covered by a light blanket. A wet washcloth lay on his forehead and an IV was attached to his right hand.

When Young entered, Chloe and TJ looked up instantly.

“How is he?”

“Hard to say. Aside from the burns he has some smaller scrapes and cuts, a light fever and has obviously lost weight. He is dehydrated and exhausted enough to still be unconscious. We will know more when he wakes up, but I think he will recover.”

“Good. That’s good.” Young smiled, relieved, but still looked at Eli. His conscience wouldn’t ease before a grinning Eli stood in front of him again.

“You look exhausted,” Chloe said after a while. TJ looked up at him scrutinizingly.

“When did you last sleep, Colonel?”

“We just did sleep two years, TJ.”

“I meant real sleep, not frozen.”

“I don’t know.”

“Then go now. Rush said we can’t do much the next couple of hours. So finally get some sleep.”

Young wanted to protest, but he couldn’t come up with an argument. So he stayed silent and nodded approvingly.

“Two years? Wasn’t it supposed to be three?“ Chloe asked belatedly, looking at him confused. It showed how exhausted he really was, because he hadn’t meant to say that just yet. But there was no point in hiding it-- everyone would find out eventually anyway.

“En route we unexpectedly met a star that wasn’t supposed to be there. Eli managed to recharge Destiny and speed up our journey. We don’t know more yet.”

Both women gazed astonished at Eli. He definitely would have to answer a lot of questions as soon as he woke up.

“I will get some sleep. If something happens, wake me.” He gestured into a corner of the room, where some beds were separated with some light walls. At the moment he didn’t want to go back to his own quarters. He would have to pass half of the ship and at the end he had to get back here anyway. He would save himself the time.

As soon as he lay down his body felt heavy and tired. Accompanied by the silent voices of the others in the background, it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, despite his rotating thoughts.

-

Young was woken by the sound of several voices. He didn’t really feel better, more like beaten. When he opened his eyes TJ stood beside him and smiled dully.

“Hey, you still look worn,” she said quietly and confidentially. Young sighed.

“Yes. How long did I…?”

“About six hours. Not nearly enough, but Destiny is refilled and we are back in FTL. Rush wants to know, what will happen next.”

“Okay, I’m on my way. Just give me a minute.“

“Take your time.” She left again and Young stretched lightly. Definitely, the sleep hadn’t helped much, although he had gotten along with less. His reserves had been completely depleted.

When he finally left the quiet space behind the divider, TJ, Rush, Chloe, Scott and Greer had gathered around Eli’s bed, who hadn’t woken yet. They looked up as he walked to them.

“What’s our status?” he asked. Scott answered first.

“Obviously Eli maintained a list of his activities. Compared to the lists, which were made before we went into stasis, our supplies haven’t changed much. The problem is that we still have to find a planet on which we can resupply our food and water in the near future.”

“Destiny is heading for the best candidates. Meanwhile, we will have to ration again. It would also help if we don’t bring everyone out of stasis. Just the necessary personnel,” Rush interjected, and Young had to concede, albeit unwillingly. The thought of leaving those people in stasis made him uncomfortable, but at the moment there was no other option. If they were all awake, their supplies would diminish too fast, no matter how much they rationed.

“Okay, make a list of who you need.”

“The recordings, if they are complete, also explain at least partly why Eli is in such a bad state. He didn’t eat much at the beginning and nearly nothing at the end,” TJ added.

“He didn’t know if he would be able to solve the stasis issue and after energy wasn’t a problem anymore he tried to make it without. He wanted to hold on as long as possible,” Rush explained dryly. His commend provoked new questions.

Greer asked what everyone had written on their face. “What stasis issue?”

“We were the last three to go into stasis,” Young said, indicating Rush, Eli and himself, “and it turned out that one of the pods was more damaged than the others. Eli stayed outside and repaired it. What happened after that only he can say.”

Awkward silence fell upon them, which was finally broken by Rush. “We should get to work. With some luck it hopefully won’t take long until our next stop. We should have a working team together by then.”

“Rush is right. TJ, go with him and monitor everything. Greer and Scott, have you fetched the space suits yet?”

“No.”

“Okay, then fetch and check them. After that you can come back to the others. TJ, you’ll help Rush. Chloe stays with Eli. If his condition changes, report to TJ immediately.“

He got confirmations from all sides and the room started to empty. He would have prefered to stay and wait for Eli to wake up. He wanted to know what had happened, and to apologize for letting it, and he wanted to hear from Eli himself that everything was fine. And that from an Eli who wasn’t half unconscious but could think clearly.

With a last look at the unconscious man he left the room, though he had no idea what to do. Sleeping was out of question. Maybe he should also oversee the waking of the others. After all, they had to wake some of the military too. If they had to go to a planet, they would be crucial. But his feet took him unconsciously into another direction, which he only realized when he reached Eli’s room. It looked messy, but half empty; after all, most of the inventory was still in the interface control room. With everything that must have happened, Eli obviously had other things to think about than cleaning up. He was still a boy, no matter how much he had developed on board the Destiny.

Rush’s words came back to his mind. Was there maybe another kino, one that showed everything that Eli had left out on the kino that they’d found? Or perhaps he hadn’t thought of recording those lonely weeks? The latter seemed nearly impossible to him. No matter how stressful the circumstances, he had always thought of the kino.

Young looked around again, this time more closely, but none of the small spheres was lying around the room. Eli probably hadn’t spent much time there. And even if there were any recordings somewhere, it was Eli’s privacy. As curious as he was, as long as there were no threat to Destiny or the people aboard, he had to respect it.

Abruptly he turned away and went on his way to the communications lab. He would try again to contact Earth. He had duties to fulfill and didn’t have any time to waste on things he couldn’t change right now anyway.

With the radio he contacted Scott. “Scott, do you read?”

“Yes, sir?”

“What’s your status?”

“We brought back the suits. They look good, but a closer check-up would be Park’s task… or someone else who knows them better than we do.” Obviously Scott had forgotten that the scientist was only of limited use in such matters since her blindness. “We also found the third suit with a note attached to it. It’s damaged.”

“Understood. Meet up with TJ and choose five of our people, so Rush doesn’t only wake scientists. And send Greer to the communications lab.“

„Yes, sir.“

 

When Young arrived at the stones, Greer was already there and waiting for him.

“If something seams wrong, turn it off,” he reminded, then he laid one stone on the working communication device. It took some moments, but this time the connection worked. As he opened his eyes, blinking, he found himself on Earth. At least it looked like it. He sat in a chair, some reports on the table before him, next to them the communication device and a monitor. Obviously he was in the body of a young sergeant.

The man at the door had noticed his changed behavior.

“Identify.”

“Colonel Everett Young.” He told him his ID and stood slowly.

Bewilderment showed on the face of the guard before he could control his features.

“I have to talk to Colonel Telford” Young demanded hoping that the man was still there.

“Please wait a moment, sir.”

The guard vanished and then reappeared a short time later, gesturing for him to follow. Young knew the way because he had walked it several times before, and apparently nothing had changed.

The guard guided him through a couple of corridors and up an elevator, finally gesturing in the direction of an open door, which led into an office. But instead of David Telford like Young had expected, it was general Jack O’Neill sitting over a pile of documents. As Young entered he shoved the papers aside and stood to greet him. He hadn’t changed much in the last two years. Grey, short hair; a round face from the job behind the desk. His time in the field was over, but Young was sure that he was still not to be underestimated.

“General.”

“Everett, is that really you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Take a seat. What happened? Did something go wrong? We weren’t expecting you for at least another year.“

Young sat in the free chair at the desk while O’Neill did the same on the opposite side. “I wouldn’t say that anythings’s wrong. We have reached the next galaxy.”

“Really? I thought it would take three years, minimum.”

O’Neill showed earnest bewilderment and Young could comprehend that. He didn’t understand everything himself yet.

He wasn’t sure if he should mention that Eli had stayed out because of the damaged stasis pod two years ago. He decided not to. It wasn’t germane to the explanation. “Eli…. Mister Wallace was woken early thanks to a short circuit in his stasis pod. Destiny had crossed paths with a star in empty space that hadn’t been detected by the seed ships. He was able to refill all energy reserves completely and do some repairs to the FTL drive that we hadn’t had time for before the jump. That way he could raise the FTL drive’s efficiency and accelerate the jump. At least that’s what we got from the records of a kino. Mister Wallace is in the infirmary at the moment and not conscious. Dr. Rush, Lt. Johannsen and Lt. Scott are working on waking a team of scientists and military personnel which will attempt more repairs on Destiny and try to resupply. As soon as this is finished we will wake the rest of the crew members from stasis.” Young ended his short briefing and looked openly at O’Neill.

“Seems like you had more than a little luck, Everett. Mister Wallace is going to have a lot questions to answer when he wakes up.”

“Yes, sir. That he will. What has been happening on Earth in the meantime? How is the situation with the Lucian Alliance?

“We were able to deal them some severe blows and push them back. Unfortunately they still haven’t given up and they are not to be underestimated, but it’s gotten easier,” O’Neill replied tersely.

Young got wary. “What about the supplyline?”

“I want to be honest—it’s not looking good. Langara still refuses to cooperate. In fact, we located a new potential Icarus planet, but conditions on the planet are extreme so it’s nearly impossible to built a base there. Other candidates in this galaxy haven’t been found yet.”

“What about the Pegasus galaxy?”

O’Neill hesitated, seemed to calculate something and made a decision. “About half a year ago Atlantis was sent back to the Pegasus galaxy. The Wraith are still there and getting them under control is a slow process. The money for the project has been limited and reduced from Icarus. At the moment, Atlantis has only a couple of scientists and they have their hands full with other projects… Like I said, we expected you at the earliest in a year from now.”

They stared at each other for some moments before O’Neill looked away.

“They wanted to wait and see if we made it. You gave up on us because some politicians decided we are not worth the money,” Young stated dryly, hardly surprised. An uninvited feeling of betrayal took stole over him.

O’Neill’ hesitation confirmed his words clearly enough.

“Everett, we haven’t given up on you. But our hands are tied. You know how politicians are. They think about election campaigns and their reputation. Now that you are back, we can debate that anew.

“Sure, and how long will that take?” Young raised an eyebrow and stood. “The fact that we made a connection was pure luck, right? You didn’t expect us, not now. The stones weren’t activated because of us.”

O’Neill stayed silent and Young massaged his temple in exhaustion. This wasn’t what he had wanted to hear, but it was still better than all of the scenarios he had envisioned according the Lucian Alliance.

“I have to get back. You know now that we are back and will get a full report later.”

O’Neill nodded and didn’t say anything else, apparently he knowing that he couldn’t say anything to change the situation.

Young saluted fractionally and let himself be guided back to the stones by the guard.

When he ended the connection, he found himself in his own body back on Destiny. Greer sat across from him observantly.

“I’m back. Has anything happened?“

„No, sir. Everything is calm.“

„Good. Let’s get back to the others.“

-

In the stasis section they found only Brody and Volker. Both stood at a console and were absorbed in a conversation as Young and Greer entered the corridor. Most of the pods were opened. Camille was one of those who still slept. Young thought about letting her be woken too, but at the moment her skills weren’t of any use. If she should resent him this, he could still deal with it later. At the moment they had other priorities.

“Where are Rush and the others?” Young asked after greeting both man and making sure that they had no aftereffects from the stasis.

“Rush is on the bridge, which is where we’re headed in a moment. Scott has selected his team and is somewhere on the ship with them,” Brody said.

Young joined the two scientists on their way and went directly to Rush, who was entering something into a console.

“You were on Earth?” Rush asked quietly, while the others were busy and no one paid them attention.

“Yes,” Young answered shortly. He considered what to say, but at last openness between them had paid off. And sooner or later Rush would find out everything anyway, exactly as would all the others on board.

“Bad news?”

“More or less. The Lucian Alliance seems to be mostly under control, but like we thought, they weren’t expecting us. To be more clear, they have written us off. In fact, they found an Icarus planet, but it’s not possible to establish a base there. In addition the House stopped the money and the search for another planet has been suspended.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Rush retorted coolly. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the console. “What happens now?”

Young didn’t need to wait long for an answer. After all, he had had time to think about all that all the way. “For the time being, nothing. They know now that we are back. We will see what they do with this information. In the meantime we will continue like before. If we want to go home, we’ll have to find a way ourselves. In the end, it’s what we knew the whole time. Even with an Icarus planet the connection would be a one-way-street. We could have used the supplies, but we are in a new galaxy now. Hopefully one where we won’t meet hostile aliens. In this case we can concentrate fully on supplying ourselves and repairing the ship so that we can dial Earth again. All we needed to repair the stasis pods was the right material. That should be possible with the main part of the ship too. There must be instructions for all those systems in the database.”

“Surely not for everything, but for most of it, yes. I like that plan.” The corner of Rush’s mouth twitched suspiciously upwards.

“I thought so.”

They were interrupted by the FTL drive shutting down. The already-familiar feeling that followed was still strange.

“Planet?” Young asked. Rush shrugged his shoulders.

“Looks like it. Let’s find out.”

They met Scott’s team at the gate room.

Corporal Barns was at the control console. “There is only one gate in range, sir.”

“Dial and send a kino through.”

“Yes, sir.” Tense silence spread while chevron after chevron lit up, a connection established, and the kino vanished through the event horizon. Young and Rush stepped over to Barns as they received the first data and pictures.

“Oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen... atmosphere isn’t perfect but it’s breathable, no toxins. But it’s quite cold out there. The suits might be the most comfortable.”

“They are not an option at the moment. We’ll just have to dress warm enough and try not to stay too long. Varro, James, Greer, Johns-- come with me to the planet. TJ, you supervise from here. Scott will be in command.”

“There is vegetation, so it must be some sort of winter right now. Besides the water supply you also should look for edibles. It’s possible that there are animals,” Rush commented after a thoughtful look at the record.

“Okay.” Young gestured Barns to shut the gate down. They had to collect some stuff first, but that didn’t take long. Half an hour later he and a small team found themselves on the planet in the middle of a winter wonderland. The air was noticeably thinner than they were used to, but it would be okay for a while. They would have to take breaks.

The sky above them was hung with heavy grey clouds, which were snowing soft flakes down on them. But there was definitely daylight. The question was for how long?

They tested the snow near the gate where it lay in a thick layer. Sure enough it was potable water.

“Greer, you stay here and coordinate the transport. With every load you change the team. Mind TJ’s instructions. I don’t want any unnecessary trips to the infirmary.

“Yes, sir.”

“Varro, you’ll come with me. We will take a look around the vicinity.” He got an affirmative nod from the skilled tracker. “Did you find any marks around here?”

“No, nothing so far. But if it’s snowing like this the whole time, than it means nothing. Light traces vanish fast beneath it.”

“Okay.” Young took a searching look around. They were surrounded by snow covered trees and stood at the food of a light slope. Aside from the small clearing the Stargate was placed in, everything looked the same.

“Uphill or downhill?” Varro asked. Without traces, it didn’t matter.

“Uphill,” Young decided as he started to walk. They made only slow progress because they sank into the deep, loose snow again and again. It was strange how similar these planets were to Earth, even though they were on the other side of the universe.

“How are your injuries?” Young didn’t think about the outcome of the horrible fall on Novus anymore. Just now, as he saw that Varro wasn’t moving as smoothly as he used to, he was reminded of it. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken him with him. On the other hand, he was sure that Varro was experienced enough to know and say when he had the feeling that he was hindering a mission.

“The shoulder is still a little sore, but everything else is fine again. Tamara did a great job in patching me up,” Varro replied without hesitation.

“That’s good. You gave us a damn scare.”

“Yes, and I owe you for not leaving me behind there.”

“You saved TJ more than once and you are a member of the crew. You owe me nothing.”

Varro didn’t reply anything, so Young let the topic drop, though he still had questions concerning TJ. But they could wait.

After nearly half an hour Young finally stopped. “We should return soon. We won’t find anything here.” It seemed the whole trip had been a waste of time. But despite the cold and the thin air, Young was happy for it, because the chance to get off the ship was seldom.

“Yes, that…” Varro broke off in the middle of his sentence and listened. “Do you hear that?”

Young listened closely and actually could hear it too. A quiet swooshing, dampened by all the snow. “A river?”

“Possibly. Shall we take a look before we return?“

“Yes, maybe our dinner is swimming in there.”

“That would be great.”

They went on and followed the sound, which steadily became stronger. Soon it sounded more like a roar and as they brought some trees behind them, they could finally see the source. Straight ahead the ground broke into a steep slope and to their right a river half covered by ice and snow poured into the abyss.

Carefully Young walked closer. Through the snow it was nearly impossible to judge the ground accurately. Finally he was close enough to the edge to get a clear view of the ground. It was a thirty-foot drop down there. Varro stepped next to him carefully.

“Under normal circumstanecs, it would be easy to get down there with ropes, but it’s not worth the effort in our present situation. We should get back.”

“Yes, this planet has refilled our water supplies at least. Food we will find hopefully on the next one.”

Young turned around and saw out of the corner of his eye a short movement before everything happened too fast. He didn’t even have time to shout a warning. He pushed Varro aside and felt a hard impact in the next moment. He was flung through the air, his mind screaming that he was too close to the edge. He heard shots, the enraged roar of their attacker, and then the air rushing past his ears as he fell. The heavy impact nearly bereaved him of all his senses. Pain flooded his body, icy cold penetrating his skin as masses of snow slid down on him and took his breath. Finally everything went black around him as he lost consciousness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahs, cliffhanger-- I know, I'm meany, but hang in there, it's not what it seems... mostly ;-)
> 
> So, wow, this is not only my first SGU fanfiction but also my first try in translating one of my works. It's a lot of work, but it's fun too and I'm learning with every page. That's so cool.  
> The reason I translated this is simple: I love English... and, okay, because I figured there are a lot more people out there understanding English than German ;-)  
> I also wanted elementals and CleanWhiteRoom (you're both amazing) to read this as they are to be blamed mostly for me finally writing this idea down. I hope you like it at least a little.
> 
> I love commands and talking in English in general, so talk to me whenever you feel like it.


	2. The lost star 2/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, but you know how it works: real life is a bitch.

_Eli opened his eyes and blinked, confused. Something was wrong. He had given Destiny clear instructions for their arrival to the next galaxy: power up live support, activate the lights, wake up certain crew members. But it was pitch dark aside from the control lights of the stasis pod and the air was stifling and freezing cold. In addition, his pod seemed to be the only one open. Something wasn't right at all._

_Eli tried to stay calm. He felt blindly around and slipped slowly to his knees. Finally he found the flashlight and the spacesuit. Both he had put there, for emergency. This could surely be called an emergency._

_With a click he switched the flashlight on and shone it around himself. The control lights of his stasis pod were out. The device seemed dead. He took a closer look and found some suspiciously dark looking crystals._

_Burned out._

_A short-circuit?_

_This definitely wasn't good._

_He thought about getting the suit on, but then he let that thought slip. Oxygen and energy in those were limited and there were only three of them. He had to think twice about when to use them. And even if it was cold, at the moment he seemed to be getting along fine without._

_With an uneasy feeling in his stomach he continued to look around. On all other pods the control lamps were glowing like they should be. In this section really nobody else was awake. Shivering, Eli walked through the whole section and came to a sobering conclusion: he was the only one awake, and it would have to stay that way until he had found out what was going on. Or where they were at the moment and how much time had passed._

_To get warm he jogged to the interface control room and had to breath deeply when he got there. Without live support he would be out of air sooner or later. Rather sooner. But he didn't want to think that far ahead right now. First he had to get Destiny to give him some badly needed information. He switched on one of the consoles and searched for the sensors and log of the ship, careful about using as little energy as possible. The results were not only confusing, but alarming too. Destiny stood still. They weren't in FTL anymore, and even sublight engines were offline. They were just drifting through empty space. According to the log they had only managed to make it one third of the way between the galaxies. Nor was their energy used up yet, so there was no reason for them being here. Aside from the little point the sensors were identifying as a star._

_Eli paused. That couldn't be. They were in the middle of nowhere, there weren't supposed to be stars and the seed ships hadn't registered anything of this sort, else they would have planed their course accordingly and calculated the star as a stop to refuel._

_This was too good to be true._

_Was he hallucinating?_

_Was he dreaming?_

_The latter would be unlikely, because one didn't dream while in stasis. One was completely frozen._

_Armed with his flashlight Eli walked to the observations deck and looked out into space. There should have been total darkness, but right in front of him there really was a star._

_"That's impossible", Eli whispered to himself on his way back to the control room. Once there he adjusted the sensors for a more detailed analysis, booting up the systems. This thing in front of them really was a star, a brown dwarf to be exact. It wasn't really hot, but according to Destiny hot enough to refuel._

_"Why did you fall out of FTL, hm?" Eli talked softly to himself as he checked more data. Soon enough he found the necessary information. A sunflare. The electromagnetic fields must have struck the already damaged ship with full force. That would explain the burned crystals in his stasis pod. The energy fluctuations had overloaded the systems and confused Destiny. But it was nothing they couldn’t repair. He just had to wake Rush and Young and maybe Brody and…_

_Eli paused. And then? They would wake Destiny, refill the reserves and bring her back on course. Sure, but Young and Rush wouldn’t agree to letting him outside, now that it was obvious that the pod wasn’t repairable anymore. No, he had to do this on his own and nobody could know what had happened. Not before it was all over._

_Eli carefully tested some systems, and Destiny reacted to him. He entered a newly calculated course for the star into the autopilot and hoped that the ship would recharge fully again. It would take a while with the sublight drive till they reached the star. Time enough to make serious plans. Yes, time…. He had more than enough of that now because there were no aliens chasing them anymore and he had a energy source directly in front of him. So what was left to do? Thanks to the emergency lights and the live support he could move freely now._

_Thoughtful, he walked back to the stasis section and stood in front of Rush’s chamber. What would the man do now? The most obvious was the energy, but he had taken care of that._

_“What else?” he wondered aloud, laying a hand on the glass and feeling the cool material under his fingers while live support slowly increased the temperature to a tolerable degree._

_They had thought about restricting life support to a small, separate area when they had thought they would have to leave eight men out. He considered doing that himself, and using the suits if he wanted to move outside the area. Aside from that he could do some repairs. Destiny’s database surely could help him there. He could let the robots work on the hull and the drive and some burned circuits he surely could fix… God, he must be insane to try this on his own. A ship like this was built to be run by a whole crew, not by a single person. But what else could he do? He couldn’t use the stones, because whomever would be on the other end, couldn’t be more well-versed about the ship than himself, and that person would just end up waking the others. He could always wake them himself, but he would avoid that for as long as he could._

_“I will do this. You will see.” He turned away and looked to Young, who was also standing totally still in his chamber. “I will be there. That’s what I promised, and I will keep that promise. Dying is not on my to-do-list.”_

_Eli turned away completely and went to work. There was a lot to do._

***

 

He felt horrible. He was hot, he was thirsty, and everything seemed to hurt. Eli breathed slowly and opened his eyes, blinking. He was in the infirmary. Clearly. He lay on his back, his hands lay on the covers, his left hand bandaged accurately from elbow to fingertips. Not as poor as he tried one handed by himself. Next to him on the cover was bedded a dark shock of hair.

“Chloe,” he tried to say, but all he got out was a rasping sound. Yet it had the desired result. The head of the young woman rose. She looked at him in shock for a moment before a mixture of worry and relief showed on her face. She seemed tired.

“Eli, thank god! You are awake. How are you feeling?“ Her voice nearly broke and made him smile weakly. He had missed her, the conversations with her. After all they had become real friends even despite the things that had happened, or maybe because of them.

He tried to talk again and at least managed a rough “crappy”. Was that really his voice? And why did he feel that hot?

Chloe held a bottle to his lips. „Drink. TJ said you were dehydrated. You didn’t drink enough, and with all these burns...“ She stopped and helplessly shrugged her shoulders.

Eli took some gulps, but it only helped a small bit. He felt so heavy and tired. Chloe put the bottle away and took a radio.

“TJ, do you read?”

“I read, Chloe.”

“Eli is awake. He…”

That was all Eli heard before tiredness took over and he fell asleep again.

 

***

_Eli stood unsure in front of the control interface. All he had to do was to push this button and his programming would be executed. He was sure that nothing could go wrong, but the past had shown that he wasn’t infallible._

_After Eli had adjusted to his new situation, he had made a list of things that had to be repaired, with the FTL-drive being on top of this list. Probably he couldn't repair it completely, but maybe he could make it more effective by isolating the weak points like they did before their last great jump._

_The only problem was that he couldn't do this on his own. He lacked the knowledge. Control over the ship, which they hadn't had the last time, was only of limited use. A bypass order alone wouldn't do the trick. So he had two options left: either he read thousands of pages from Destiny's database, which would take an eternity, or ask the one person that knew the system better than anyone else._

_He would get Dr. Perry out of quarantine. Essentially, he already had decided to do it, or else he wouldn't have written this program and found a way to communicate with her while still preventing her from interfering with the ship's systems. He just replaced one quarantine with another._

_He sighed tiredly. No, he definitely wouldn't read through the whole database, if he could avoid it, if there was a faster way. With this thought he started the program. Immediately it started to move Dr. Perry’s consciousness. A small bar showed him the progress which was, despite the tremendous amount of data, quite fast. When the process was finished the monitor stayed black. Eli had given the quarantine access to audio and video sensors, but Dr. Perry would be only able to communicate per writing with him, at the moment._

_“Dr. Perry?” he asked after a while where nothing happened._

_/Eli… Nick?/ appeared the short answer on the monitor. So it had worked._

_“No, only Eli.”_

_/What happened?/_

_“I got you out of quarantine because I need your help with the FTL drive.”_

_/Quarantine?/_

_“You nearly killed Dr. Rush with your simulation. Do you remember? To stop it I had to isolate you and Ginn from the ship.”_

_For a while nothing happened on the monitor. /Where is Nick? I want to talk to him./_

_“He isn’t here. They’re all in stasis. I need your help with the FTL drive.“_

_/What happened?/ she asked again._

_Eli sighed and gave her a short synopsis of the events. Their fights with the drones, the jump to the next galaxy and the unexpected star. “I could just refuel Destiny, but I want to repair whatever possible to accelerate the jump.”_

_/I have no access to the ship’s systems. How am I supposed to help?/_

_“You just have to tell me what to do. I know that’s long-winded but I won’t give you access to the systems, no matter what.” Eli took a deep breath and tried a calmer voice. Please help me. It would take me forever on my own, if I even were able to figure out how to do it.”_

_/For Nick/ she answered, and Eli identified it as her agreement._

_What followed were three weeks of constant work with little sleep and food. And Eli was always followed by a kino. If everything went well, no one would ever see the records. But if not, they should know what happened. Then there would be nothing for him to be embarrassed about. Not the time he spend in front of the stasis pods and talked to the frozen crewmembers, not his contemplations of removing Ginn from quarantine too, and not his desperate tries to stay fit with Chloe’s yoga exercises while the repair robots fixed the damaged parts at the FTL drive._

_They also recorded how he got some small scratches and burns now and then while he did some repairs on the circuits or how he seemed to do monologues. That had started about a week after he had woken. When his mother appeared to him for the first time he had been totally spooked, convinced that he had lost his sanity. When Dr. Franklin also appeared to give him cryptic, unhelpful advice, Eli knew it was Destiny. Rush had mentioned something like it before._

_He had no idea what the ship intended, but after he had checked that there was no simulation like the one Colonel Young had experienced, he allowed it. He had no time to deal with it._

_Through all this time he carried Dr. Perry on a portable console with him. After a short time he had given her a voice, because often it was impossible to read her advice and act on it at the same time._

_In a strange way they had come to terms with each other._

_He tried not to think about her nearly killing Rush, and that it was more or less her fault that he had in a way lost Ginn a second time._

_She didn’t resent him for isolating her and strongly limiting her options strongly even now. /Almost like my old body/ she had said once during the first few days._

_Together they were fast and efficient. It was the perfect working relationship. They actually managed to fix a great deal of the energy drains and raise the efficiency of the FTL drive before they reached the star._

***

 

Eli opened his eyes a second time. He felt only slightly better than the first time. In the corner of his eye he could see a low glow beside him. “Sidus,” he whispered, and relief swept over him.

“Eli!” Suddenly Chloe stood beside him and the glow was gone.

“Sorry, I must have fallen asleep,” he said groggily, trying to smile. Her serious face made him worry. “Is something wrong?”

“It’…” She obviously searched for words and then shrugged her shoulders helplessly. “We have a gate connection to a planet to refill our water supplies. There was an incident. Colonel Young fell off a cliff and was buried under an avalanche. They’re trying to rescue him at the moment, but it’s hard.” She took a shaky breath and sank onto a chair next to the bed.

Eli swallowed dryly. He hadn’t expected something like this. He didn’t know what to say and finally tried a quiet “It’ll be fine.” Not only for Chloe but to calm himself too. They already had been in many seemingly hopeless situations, situations where death had been as good as sure, but they were still here. They mustn’t give up hope; like he hadn’t given up hope…

 

***

 

_Eli sat cross-legged next to Colonel Young’s stasis pod, resting against the cool, slightly curved glass, eyes half closed. Tiredly, he told everything that had happened, well aware that the kino was recording everything. “About an hour ago we came out of the center of the star and now have 100% energy again. I will recalculate our speed and reprogram Destiny's autopilot as soon as we have left the coronassphere. She should be able to arrive some months earlier than we’d planed. I transferred Dr. Perry back in to quarantine, back to Ginn. How shall we ever be able to find new bodies for them? Bodies with which they can be amongst us like normal humans?" Eli paused. This wasn’t the first time he had had this thought, and it seemed like there was no solution. After a short sigh he continued. "However, after I program Destiny, the only problem left will be the question of how to hang on till the next galaxy. Theoretically it should be possible without stasis, but a whole year alone on this ship? I will go insane, honestly. I already do monologues. Dr. Franklin is no help at all. Well, rationed energy and food should suffice. I have to find another sol..."_

_A wild flickering of the lights interrupted Eli. Hastily he stood and looked around. "What was that?" he asked the empty air, but Dr. Franklin didn't appear so he had to get the answer by himself._

_The light calmed down again as he jogged to the interface control room. A short analysis showed him an energy spike, but luckily there seemed to be no damage. But what had been the source? The light flickered again. Another energy spike. Okay, that definitely wasn’t good._

_The ship’s sensors located the source for the interruptions in the technical area, close to the FTL drive. He didn’t like that, especially because this was a restricted area. There was a breach in the hull. Yet he had to take a look anyway, because this glitch could undo the whole plan. Within a short time he had fought his way into one of the space suits and was on his way to the other end of the ship, a remote in his hand and a kino by his side. It wasn’t only creepy but also dangerous to be all alone in this area, but as long as he didn’t want to wake one of the others he couldn’t help it. He just had to be damned careful._

_One step after the other,_

_shut the door,_

_activate magnetic boots,_

_compensate pressure,_

_open door._

_In front of him stretched a long corridor with doors and branch-offs like many others on Destiny. But in the floor gaped a long rift with smoldering edges. Beneath the rift lay the flickering shields of Destiny and the light of the star._

_Obviously something had just collided with them and had broken through the shields. But what? On the other end of the corridor, where the rift got thinner and finally ended abruptly, lay something lay flickering on the floor. Apparently this was the source of the disruption. The sensory of the kino showed him, that it was still really hot in there and temperatures were sinking only slowly, though they were already in a range that was okay for the suit. So he walked carefully along the rift, intent on keeping contact with the floor._

_What was he doing here? This was so crackbrained. What if this thing gave off some kind of radiation that the suit wouldn’t be able to block? What if this thing exploded any second now? Whatever it was. Or, what if it was some kind of alien technology?_

_Eli tried to calm down, and even managed to get a nearly clear head till he finally reached the strange object. It was about the size of a tennis ball and it glowed with a reddish light. To wreak havoc like this it had to have collided with an enormous speed and in a relatively flat angle._

_Slowly Eli stretched a hand in its direction. /Stupid idea, stupid idea, stupid idea, stupid…/ He could feel the heat even through the gloves of the suit. So touching wasn’t an option at the moment. But before he could withdraw his hand the flickering became a blinding light and a burning pain went through his arm. Instantly he lost consciousness._

_When he came to again it wasn’t a slow waking but a sudden awareness of his surroundings. He lay on his back on the floor. His helmet lay beside him and he could breath freely. His hand and underarm burnet like fire, but he was still in the suit and couldn’t see the actual damage. He just knew instinctively that the suit was useless now._

_Every attempt to move hurt unbelievably, so he gave that up. It couldn’t do any harm to stay where he was. At least it didn’t sound like Destiny was in any danger. The flickering of the lights had stopped. That was a good sign._

_Out of the corner of his eye he could see the kino. That was good, too, because so he could use it to find out later what happened and how he had managed to get safe. He was distracted from that thought when the reddish light appeared above him, this time softer and calmer. His first reaction was to withdraw from it. But aside from an intensive wave of pain he didn’t gain much from it. So he tried to calm down und to study it. Whatever it was, at the moment he had no way of protecting himself against it._

_It didn’t feel that hot anymore, though it was still radiating a great heat. But it was kind of comforting. It just seemed to float above him._

_Eli only lay there and did nothing while his body slowly relaxed. He had no idea how long he had been unconscious, but it must have been a while because he felt great hunger and thirst, now that his adrenalin had vanished. It might be a good idea after all to move and change that soon. He just had to get past this light. He didn’t want to touch it again, no matter what. Again he tried to move and ignored the rising pain. Centimeter by centimeter he slid backwards, but the light followed him._

_“Great,” Eli sighed, giving up on that attempt. Immediately the pain decreased._

_“I hope this is going to bore you soon because otherwise I have a real problem. I know I’m the first human you’ve met and this is all totally interesting – I find you interesting too – but could you maybe study me from over there?” Eli waved with his unharmed right hand in a vague direction. The light seemed to jump up and down for a moment, then it floated away a little bit. Eli watched it disbelievingly._

_“You understand me?” He didn’t get a reaction from that. Okay, this was going to be fun. This was one of those moments where he really could have used help from someone else. But he would do this, exactly like he had done the last three weeks._

_Bit by bit he edged in the direction of the wall, till he finally could straighten up a little and lean against it._

_“But you reacted to something. Was it my hand?” He continued the onesided talk belatedly and under heavy breathing. To illustrate his words he raised his hand slowly and waved the light carefully closer. It instantly reacted and came alarmingly closer till Eli could feel it’s warmth again._

_“Whoa, stop, stop. Don’t touch. Touching is bad.” He pinched his eyes shut, scared, but nothing happened. The light had just stopped right in front of him._

_“Okay, so that’s settled. Ehm, you’re no ascended being, are you? Sure, what would you do on the other end of the universe and I guess that they have better ways of communication and don’t cook people medium rare. By the way, that really hurt dammit, but you didn’t do it on purpose. At least that’s what I assume. Hm, okay.” Eli thought about getting out of the suit, but it was always a lot of work to get into it. Getting it off seemed impossible at the moment. Another point where he could have used some help. For now he would just sit here and hope that his energy would come back. He could use the time to find out more about his guest as well._

_“I wonder where you came from. Did you come out of the star or were you on your way in there? There is nothing else out here. Well, aside from Destiny at the moment. Did you collide with us on purpose or was it an accident? Do you have a name? To just call you ‘light‘ is kinda boring.” Eli considered it for a moment. It had to be something fitting and short. „You likely don’t have a gender... hm... what do you think about Sidus? That’s Ancient for star. After all, we picked you up in a star.” Eli didn’t expect an answer, which is why he was even more surprised when the steady light moved and started to form outlines. It took some moments but then he could identify himself. Sidus was copying his features._

_“I guess that’s a yes?”_

_It moved it’s lips, but no sound came out._

_“Frustrating, isn’t it? But don’t worry, it would be ridiculous if we weren’t able to communicate. I really hope that you don’t have anything bad in mind, but even if so, I couldn’t do much about it, hm? But first I need something to drink and get out of this suit. There is no sense in waiting any longer, I guess.” Eli took a deep breath and then fought to stand up with clenched teeth. Followed by Sidus and the kino, he started his seemingly endless way to the interface control room. There he had stashed water, food and stuff from the infirmary right from the start. He was endlessly thankful for that now, because it saved him the long trip. He just had to manage this one-way, and then he could lie down._

_Eli didn’t know how often he had to pause and how long it really took him in the end, but when he reached his destination, he had cold sweat on his forehead and black dots were spotting his vision._

_His strength barely lasted long enough for him to reach his makeshift camp before he collapsed. Why waste energy on live support in the quarters when he spent most of his time here anyway? He might as well sleep here. Eli breathed deeply and watched through half closed eyes how Sidus flew in a circle around the room once._

_“Look, don’t touch,” Eli whispered weakly. Whatever Sidus was, he could interfere with the technology of Destiny. He had seen that much from the energy spikes and the flickering lights. Right at that moment wasn’t a good time to find out what else Sidus could do to the systems. Upon careful consideration he decided he didn’t want to find out at all, because it couldn’t be anything good._

_Finally Eli managed to summon enough strength to grab the water bottle and guide it to his lips. Once he had started drinking, he couldn’t stop till the bottle was empty. His body seemed to soak the fluid like a sponge. After that he wasn’t able to stay awake any longer. He just fell asleep, while the bottle rolled out of his hand and came to a halt near the next console with a soft clunk._

_The first thing Eli felt when he next woke was tense. Sleeping in the suit hadn’t really been a clever idea. Next he felt the pain in his burnt hand. He desperately needed to take care of that, even if he was horrified of taking a closer look. Pain killers surely wouldn’t be a bad idea. Third, he needed to pee. All three things had one thing in common: he had to get out of the suit._

_It nearly took all of the strength he had collected during sleep to get that done, but when finally he was able to move freely again and didn’t need to pee anymore, he felt a lot better, though the pain in his hand still seemed unbearable._

_The skin was heavily reddened from fingertips to elbow and here and there he could see small blisters. He wondered how he had been able to sleep at all with the pain. Maybe he had just been unconscious. That was even more likely._

_Hastily he went through the collection of drugs he had nicked from TJ’s supplies. Luckily she had noted use and dosage in a small elegant script on everything. He swallowed one of the stronger things and hoped that it would work fast without disabling him again. After he had coated the burnt skin with a strange smelling but cooling paste and made a makeshift bandage, he started to chew on a dried fruit he had gotten from the sparse food supplies. Then he finally turned back to Sidus. He had been floating formlessly in the room the whole time and seemed to be doing nothing._

_“Hey there, I hope you haven’t gotten bored.” Eli waved him slowly over and Sidus followed the gesture. “What I did is called sleep and this is food.” He gestured to the fruit. “I need to do this, to get my energy back.”_

_Sidus took Eli’s form again and moved it’s lips. /Energy/ sounded the computer voice Eli had given Dr. Perry in the last weeks and Eli nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked around frantically and found the console he had used to talk to Dr. Perry. But he had already transferred her back into the mainframe and deleted all traces of her. This couldn’t be Dr. Perry._

_/Communicate/ the voice sounded again while Sidus moved its replica of Eli’s lips asynchronously. A beam spread in Eli’s face. Obviously Sidus had used the time to gather some knowledge. In any case, it answered the question of wether Sidus was able to interact with the systems without blowing them. He pushed aside the thought that things could have gone terribly wrong._

_“Yes, communicating. That’s great. Just wait a minute; I’ll give you another voice, or else this will be too weird.“ Eli fished for the device and did some calibrations to choose another male voice pattern. Out of exuberance he forgot his harmed hand for a moment and strained it. He cursed indignantly and clenched his teeth. He would have to be damned careful in the next days._

_/Frequency disruption/ the new voice now sounded._

_Eli didn’t understand the context of the word. “Can you illustrate that? I have no clue what you mean.”_

_Out of the light appeared Eli’s bandaged hand and Sidus copied Eli’s pain-distorted face. /Frequency disruption./_

_“Pain. Yes, that hurts like hell. The human body isn’t made for these kind of temperatures. But that will heal, I guess.” Eli smiled confidently, though he wasn’t sure about his last sentence. If it hadn’t only been enormous heat but some kind of radiation too, he would be in real trouble soon. He was no doctor and had no clue what was happening in his body right now._

_The hand of light dissolved and Sidus’s face went neutral again._

_“So, now that this is cleared, can you tell me what you are?”_

_/What you are/_

_“Yes.” Eli thought about how to explain that. This was communication on a whole new level for him. Was that even possible? This could be fun._

_But ‘fun’ didn’t describe it even close enough, Eli found out soon._

_The following days he recovered reasonably from his burns, and because he couldn’t do much repairing one-handed he concentrated fully on communicating with Sidus. The energy being reacted to vibrations and vibration patterns, that much Eli understood already after the first few tries. Sidus was intelligent and learned fast. Nevertheless, their exchanges were frustratingly slow at the beginning._

_Eli gestured literally with hands and feeds, though his voice was the most effective, while Sidus projected pictures. Eli became a master of picture puzzles._

_Like this, little by little, he learned to know Sidus’s story, like a puzzle. He came from the galaxy that lay before them, and he wasn’t the only one of his kind. There had been many in his native star and he had never known anything else. Then he had collided with a spaceship, like what had happened with Destiny. There had been aliens, strange creatures, and Eli asked himself, if they were still there and if they would meet them._

_He didn’t understand everything that happened after that, but at the end Sidus had been stranded in the wandering star. For how long was impossible to tell, because Sidus didn’t seem to have a feeling for time like Eli knew it. But it must have been an eternity if the star hadn’t left the galaxy at that point._

_Destiny was Sidus’s only chance of ever getting back. So maybe the collision wasn’t an accident after all. But Eli didn’t resent him that. Now they were both here and while the days went by nearly unnoticed, they provided each other welcome company._

 

***

 

Chloe and Eli had talked a little, but after a while they had skipped to starring silently and tensed at the radio, in the hopes of getting some news. But the last news had been some time ago and it didn’t look good. A sinking feeling spread in Eli’s gut.

Suddenly Sidus appeared in his simple formless shape above the bed and Chloe flinched backwards. “What is that?”

“A friend,” Eli replied, his gaze was fixed on the energy being. It was flickering nervously. “Sidus. What do you want to tell me?“ Eli looked around but the console for communication wasn’t here. “Can you show me?”

Sidus took the shape of Colonel Young’s face, then the outlines blurred into a line, showing irregular amplitudes before it melted into a flat line.

“No,” he whispered weakly when he realized what Sidus tried to tell him. “No!”

“What does that mean?” Chloe asked, but Eli ignored her.

Without regard to his injuries and his weakness he pulled the IV needle from his arm and stood, ignoring all pain. He was well-practiced with the latter by now.

Dizziness took over as Chloe tried to get him back into bed.

“You mustn’t stand up. TJ had…”

“I have to get to the gate room!”

“You shall not stand up.”

“I have to get to the gate room right now,” Eli snubbed at her, the panic he was feeling clear in his voice. He didn’t have time for explanations right now.

She paused, but then she nodded and helped him up. Sidus followed them through the empty corridors till they reached the gate room. Everyone gathered there was starring at the floor, where Colonel Young lay motionless. TJ was kneeling beside him, one hand pressed to her mouth as if fighting something within herself.

Eli stumbled and drew everyone’s attention to himself. He had to look horrible. That he knew without a mirror. The next moment he heard the clicking sound of the rifles.

“Don’t shoot,” Chloe shouted, and Eli was grateful for that, because he could concentrate on only one thing right now. He only had strength left to walk the last steps over to Colonel Young. Directly beside TJ he fell to his knees and breathed heavily. The Colonel looked so pale, his eyes closed and his lips blue. The cold literally radiated off of him and was a painful contrast to the heat he was used to from Sidus by now.

“Eli… you shouldn’t… It’s too late, he was too long… I couldn’t…” TJ was visibly shaken, her breath tremulous, hardly able to end her sentences, which wasn’t like her at all.

“It’s okay, let me try it.”

“What…?”

Sidus came closer and floated above the Colonel. Eli smiled tiredly at him, while the light changed into a reflection of himself. Meanwhile, Eli took comfort from seeing Sidus like this, even if it sometime made him feel as if he was only talking to himself-- that he had just imagined everything and lost his sanity.

“Go. I don’t want to hurt you.” Eli smiled shortly at TJ and concentrated on Sidus again. Slowly he unwrapped the bandages from his hand. It hurt and soon it would hurt even more, but if this worked, it would be worth it. Then he would do everything for it. If it didn’t work, it wouldn’t matter anyway, because then he wouldn’t be able to feel any pain anymore at all.

When the bandages were finally off his hand he extended both his hands to Sidus, who unexpectedly withdrew, his face turning into a grimace. “I know, but there is no other way. You can control it, I saw it. So help me now. Help me please!“ Eli begged, and Sidus flickered, agitated.

He made a gesture Eli understood immediately. The promise. Sidus had learned so well. „Yes, I didn’t forget that. I will hold to it, no matter what happens. But please, help me now.“ Eli was still holding his hands up and finally, slowly, Sidus copied the gesture. Their hands intertwined with each other, melted into each other, and then Sidus shape vanished.

The burning pain seemed to distort nearly every thought and the blackness gnawing at his consciousness was overpowering, but Eli fought against it. He concentrated on laying a hand at the side of Young’s throat, where his pulse should have been, while the other went to rest on Young’s stomach. The skin was icy cold and there was no sign of a heartbeat.

Then he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see Young’s lifeless face and his hands, which were burning under Sidus’s touch. Not the horrified faces of the others.

Blood was rushing in his ears and his own heartbeat raced. How long would his body stand this kind of stress? He had to calm down, had to concentrate, had to block the pain. He needed Sidus’s energy, had to collect it, guide it, give it a task. Even if the aliens in Sidus’s stories had been totally different from humans, they had still looked as though made of flesh and blood. This just had to work. There was no way back now.

By the gods, let it work, Eli prayed voicelessly.

He felt the heat from Sidus’s fire flowing through his veins suddenly flash from his hands and over to Young, at first hesitantly, then more greedily.

Come back. We do need you here.

The body seemed to lay motionless for an eternity, an empty, lifeless shell. But then, suddenly, he could feel it, a vibration, only short, like the wing beat of a little bird. Then another vibration, irregular, and another one. A stumble and another vibration that merged into a weak rhythm. And finally the body under Eli’s hands rose in a deep continuing breath.

With a feeling of ease Eli gave into the pain and lost his consciousness instantly.

 

***


	3. The lost star 3/3

The first thing Eli noticed when he came to was quiet voices. Slowly he managed to open his eyes and look sideways. He was in the infirmary again, and in the bed next to him sat Young, who was talking to Rush. It wasn’t natural that those two were talking to each other calmly like this.  
Eli smiled involuntarily. It was a nice sight. The painful burn, which he was used to by now, distracted him from it. He looked down and realized that both hands were now bandaged. This was definitely impractical. Hopefully they would heal soon, though after his experiences that was wishful thinking.  
„Eli." His movement had obviously attracted the attention of both men.  
"Hey. You’re okay." Relief sounded in his voice.  
Young nodded. "Yes, thanks to you, as I've heard."  
Eli shrugged his shoulders weakly. There wasn't much to reply to that. All the doubts that it wouldn't work didn't matter now. His look wandered to Young's neck. "What's that?" he asked, gesturing to the white bandages.  
„Nothing really."  
„That's a burn in the shape of a right hand," Rush answered dryly, interrupting Young's elusive words.  
"Oh." Shocked, Eli realized what Rush was aiming for. "I didn't want that. I'm so…"  
"Don't even dare to apologize, Eli! You brought me back from death, for which a minor burn is a small price to pay. And besides, yours are much worse."  
Eli sighed, resigned, but still felt a little guilty. It wasn't like he had brought back the man from death. If Young had been really dead, even Eli hadn't been able to do anything. All they had had was damned luck.  
Rush broke the ensuing silence. "So, the light…"  
"Sidus."  
"Ancient for star?"  
Eli nodded. „That's where he came from, and I refuse to call him Stella. Anyway, shortly after Destiny left the star where we refilled, Sidus collided with her. He broke through the shields and impacted in a separated technical section. Where you found me, Colonel."  
"So, the rift in the hull was caused by him?" Young asked and Eli nodded again.  
"Yes, but that wasn't on purpose. Really." Most likely. Eli kept his suspicions about that better to himself. It didn't matter.  
"Like the burns too?" Rush added.  
"He was confused and he didn't know that this would happen so easily. I was careless. He isn't bad, really."  
"But he can't stay here, Eli. Especially when everyone is awake again. A being like this doesn't belong on board." Rush looked seriously at Eli.  
"I know. He won't stay much longer. He is only still here because of the promise."  
"What promise?" Colonel Young shot Eli a skeptical look.  
"That we’ll bring him back to his native star. It's more or less on our way. I found it in the data from the seed ships and it shouldn't take long till we reach it. In the meantime he'll stay invisible… unless there are any problems? How long was I unconscious anyway?" By the end Eli had become unsure and silent.  
"No, no one had seen him…" Rush started but was interrupted.  
"You were unconscious about 28 hours." TJ had come in unnoticed and was looking reproachfully at both older men. "And Colonel Young woke just before you. So you two should rest and drink up. You are both dehydrated."  
TJ put two bowls on a small table between the beds and went straight to Eli. "How do you feel?" She lay her hand on his forehead and then felt carefully for a pulse at his neck, as his wrists weren't available at the moment.  
"I’m fine."  
"An honest answer, please."  
Eli sighed. "This burns like hell, I'm hot, and I feel like shit."  
"That sounds more realistic. You have a fever, which is no wonder. I will bring you something cool." She pressed one of the bowls she’d brought with her into Young's hands, the other into Rush's.  
"I'm not hungry," Rush said irritated.  
"Well, it's not for you, but for Eli. He won't be touching anything in the near future with his hands the way they are. Make yourself useful."  
Rush seemed appalled, but had no time to make a reply, because Young took a skeptical look into his bowl. "What is this?"  
"The animal that tried to kill you. Varro is about to process it. At least one good thing came out of this chaos. Eat up, Colonel, and Eli; you eat slowly but as much as you're able to. You managed to starve yourself straight to nothingness in those few weeks." She shook her head disapprovingly and left the room.  
All three watched after her, till Eli said shortly: "Sometimes she scares me."  
"That's her job. With stubborn patients like us she has to be able to make her point," Young replied dryly as he started to eat. Eli watched him and then looked to Rush. The man countered the look darkly.  
"I will get Chloe…"  
"You will not. Let the others sleep. The last planet cost everyone's strength, not to mention the last galaxy."  
Rush starred darkly at Young and went over to Eli. With surprising gentleness he helped the boy to sit up a little and lean against a couple of pillows before he himself sat on a chair beside the bed. After that everything that was heard for a while was the clanking sound of cutlery against metal bowls.  
Eli ate slowly, and by the time Young was already putting his empty bowl aside and drinking something, he hadn't even managed half of his portion. The whole time he had avoided looking at Rush directly; concentrating instead on the spoon. He lacked the strength for anything more. As Rush sank the spoon into the bowl again, Eli shook his head weakly. "I'm full, thanks."  
Rush put the bowl wordlessly aside and held a bottle of water to Eli's lips. Eli gulped some before that became too much as well. The depressed silence weighed heavily on the mood, so he searched for a topic that could distract them. "Did you already contact Earth?"  
"Yes. Naturally, they were surprised to hear from us. And I should have given a detailed report of our current situation some hours ago."  
"Could I go too? I would like to see my mom." Destiny's simulations hadn't really helped him, on the contrary, they had only intensified his worried thoughts about his mother.  
Eli sank tiredly deeper into the pillows and Rush helped him again wordlessly.  
"At the moment that's not a good idea. You are seriously injured."  
"And I'll take forever to heal. I just would like to say hello to her. Whoever swaps with me only has to lie around and do nothing."  
"Let's wait and see what TJ has to say about it, okay?"  
"TJ says that neither of you is leaving this room at the moment, neither physically nor mentally. Send Greer or Scott for the report."  
The medic had come back into the room and obviously had caught the last words of their conversation. She shooed Rush aside and lay a cool cloth on Eli's forehead.  
Eli let it happen, resigned. At the moment he couldn't do anything else besides lie there. That was frustrating.  
TJ smiled briefly. „Get some sleep. When the fever is gone, we will talk about the swap again, okay?"  
Eli nodded gratefully and closed his eyes unwillingly. But he hadn't the strength to keep his eyelids open any longer.  
„And you, Dr. Rush, will go and sleep now too. I don't need any more patients around here," was the last thing he heard before he drifted off.

***

It took four days till Eli's fever sank to a normal temperature again. In the meantime he just slept, and on TJ's urging ate and drank regularly. Chloe had given him company most of the time and distracted him, while Rush had made himself scarce, pretending to be busy; but Eli had the feeling he was just afraid he would have to play nurse again.  
They had gotten more people out of stasis, so they were about twenty now. But as long as their supplies went without restocking, they would have to wait to wake the rest of the crew.  
The days went by calmly. They analyzed their new surroundings, made a list of necessary repairs and the materials they would need to complete them, and just recovered as much as they could from the fights they had behind them.  
Scott had brought a short report of their status to Earth, and those who were awake had taken the chance to say hello to their loved ones, as far as they had the clearance.  
Chloe had been on Earth, too, and had just come back from her second visit. While she held out a spoon of undefined mush to Eli she told him about the meeting with her mom. "First, she didn't believe that it was me, because we had said three years at the least. But then she was totally happy. She is so alone in this big house. Martha, our housekeeper, is a kind soul, but she can't help my mother at this point." Chloe smiled sadly. "When will you go to Earth?" she asked.  
Eli chewed dully on his mush, even though there wasn't anything to chew.  
"As soon as I can." He shrugged his shoulders and cast a meaningful look at Young. He still was in the bed beside Eli, against his will.  
With his injures he had no chance of being released by TJ. He didn't seem used to doing nothing, or at the very least he didn't like it. He seemed restless and cranky.  
Chloe followed Eli's look and turned to Young. "Maybe you should both go now? It would be good for you."  
"My fever is gone," Eli commanded instantly. He was slowly nearing insanity. Unlike Young, he could stand up and walk around, even if it wasn't for long as he still lacked the strength, but he still couldn't use his hands, and that was unbearable for him.  
"If we go to Earth you will be interviewed extensively."  
"I already thought about that. But if we go there without warning, they have to round up everyone first, don't they? In the meantime I can visit my mom. I know you don't want to go that badly, but you could walk." Eli grinned when Young quickly gave up his defenses.  
Finally he nodded. „Okay, if TJ says yes, we'll go."

Half an hour later they were actually ready for a visit to Earth, the communications device standing between them on the table. Young went first, and then Eli touched one of the stones and waited for someone on the other end to activate the connection. It only took a couple of seconds before he found himself in another body. It had to be a scientist, because he wasn’t wearing BDUs. For a moment, Eli felt guilty, because this man was now in his injured body, but he shook it off. TJ could give him sleeping pills and painkillers, and in a couple of hours he would be back.  
"Eli?" Another scientist stood before him and looked at him questioningly, in a stance that didn't seem right for his body and reminded him strongly of Young. So a body really was the mirror of the soul.  
"Yes, Colonel Young?" Eli received a short nod and stood. The faster he got out of there, into the fresh air, under the free sky, even if it was raining cats right now, the better he would be.  
They followed a guard to an office and entered it. It was Colonel Telford, who was sitting on the other side of the desk and skimming through some papers.  
"David," Young greeted shortly. The man stood immediately.  
"Everett, is that really you? Mister Wallace. General O'Neill had informed me of your sudden appearance, but I hardly believed it. We expected you earlier after your last report."  
Eli returned the greeting in his direction with a short nod and left the talking to Young. He used the time to take a closer look at the Colonel. He hadn't changed much in the last three years. He just looked tired and had some scratches on his forehead, half covered by his hair line. They looked fresh.  
"Like Lt. Scott reported earlier, there was a small incident when we refilled our water supplies. That held us back. Mister Wallace and I are still at the infirmary and can't stay to long. How fast can you arrange a meeting?"  
"A meeting? With whom?"  
„With everyone who is in charge of the project right now. Investors, politicians… you know."  
Telford looked confused. „Some hours at least. It depends on who is where at the moment."  
"Good, then arrange it. Mister Wallace wants to see his mother in the meantime. Would that be possible?"  
"Sure. You know the procedure. We will provide you with a driver."  
Telford took the phone and gave some curt orders.

When Eli and Young left the office a short time later, they were approached by a young man, who introduced himself as Eli's driver.  
"What will you do in the meantime?" Eli asked quietly as they walked to the elevators.  
"I don't know yet."  
Eli didn't answer immediately. As they were on their way to the first floor, Eli shrugged his shoulders and said, "Come with me. There’s a small quiet park near my house. You can rest there and walk around or do nothing and afterwards we can drive back together. After everything that happened I can't imagine you want to stay here. Enjoy the fresh air or whatever."  
"That's not necessary," Young replied shortly, and Eli looked at him inquiringly. In the time aboard the Destiny he had actually learned to read people’s faces; after all the company was limited and sifting through his documentary material had taught him a lot. Even if this wasn't Colonel Young's face, he knew the expression.  
"Yes, it is," he said simply when they left the elevator. "Take it as a favor, and I'll owe you one. At the moment there really is nothing important to do, right?"  
Young raised an eyebrow and gazed intensely at Eli, but he only returned the look calmly. "If anything, I owe you one, Eli."  
"Great, follow me." With a triumphant smile the young man followed the guard. He didn't have to see to know Young rolled his eyes, or hear to know how he sighed quietly. Yes, he had definitely watched them to often and had far too much time to think about it.  
They walked out into a comfortingly warm and sunny afternoon. Eli stopped abruptly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. No matter how often he imagined it or how much light he got from the stars, nothing could replace this.  
"Come on, Eli," Young called after giving him a moment. He had passed him and was already some steps ahead with the guard. Eli nodded and caught up. He wanted to see his mother, and he could enjoy this at her place too.  
The ride in the black SUV went quietly. Now and then Eli asked some questions from the backseat to their driver about immaterial things, like what was happening on Earth, but most of the time Eli was lost in thought, already with his mother. Young, in the front seat, said nothing.  
Luckily it didn't take long till they arrived. Young and Eli got out, and the driver stayed in the car. "The park is down the street, hard to miss." Eli gestured along the way, bordered left and right by small family homes.  
"Take your time, Eli-- you’ve earned it."  
"Hm." Eli shrugged his shoulders in embarrassment and watched Young leave. Then he walked the few meters to the front door and rang with a beating heart. Why was he so nervous? Was his mother even at home? He didn't know her work schedule. He should have called first...  
The door opened before he could finish the thought, though it wasn't his mother standing there but a small boy maybe nine or ten years old with short, wild blonde hair.  
"Yes?" he asked suspiciously, obviously a little intimidated by standing in front of a stranger. Eli was too surprised to react for some seconds. He definitely hadn't mistaken the address, but had his mother moved? No, the Air Force would have known.  
"Ehm, hey there, I'm looking for Miss Wallace? She is still living here, isn't she?"  
The little munchkin turned away. "Mooooooom, it's for you!" he called through the house, and Eli's heart stopped dead. Mom? What the hell was going on? He had only been out of contact for two years!  
A few moments later his mother appeared in the door, followed by the aroma of fresh cookies. She looked at him, confused, and let her gaze wander to the typical black car behind him, uncertainty showing in her eyes.  
"It's me," Eli said quietly, choking down on the 'mom' in the last second, because the boy was still standing next to them.  
"Eli?" she replied as quietly. He nodded, and she embraced him fiercely and breathlessly. God, but he had missed his mother. The real and true person, not the projection of the ship.  
After a while she released him, her eyes slightly wet. "Come in. You have perfect timing. I have cookies in the oven."  
„But they're mine," the boy protested next to them, reminding them of his presence.  
"Don't worry, Aaron, I think there are enough for everyone and…" She gave Eli a questioning look.  
"Marcus," he helped out hastily, still irritated by having to introduce himself with a strangers name.  
"Marcus is a friend of my son Eli. He loves my cookies as well. Be nice and go finish your homework. As soon as the cookies are done I'll call you."  
Aaron gave Eli another suspicious look, then vanished upstairs.  
They walked through to the kitchen, which looked just like he remembered it. Light, friendly and tidy, though his mother was baking. From the radio in the corner quiet music sounded. Eli sat at the table while his mother got him a Coke. As she sat next to him he took a deep gulp, but couldn't quiet enjoy the taste. These were things from daily life, habits that seemed to be a life time away.  
The silence between them started to get uncomfortable.  
"Is it really you?" his mother asked as she wrung her hands nervously.  
"Yes, yes, it's me. Thanks to some unexpected events we were able to reach our destination quicker." Eli smiled reassuringly. He hated not being able to tell her everything, because despite the clearance, there were things he wasn't allowed to say. But at the same time it was a relief that he had to stay vague and that he was in a strangers uninjured body, because he didn't want his mother to see him like he was now.  
"Who was that?" Eli gestured vaguely upstairs, and a hesitant smile appeared on his mother's face.  
"That's Aaron. I… have met his father last year, Henry. He is great and... they’ve lived here for some months now. Henry is at work right now. I know this is all quite sudden for you, but…" She stopped and gave Eli an unsure look. He didn't quite know what to say. "And do you want to marry him, or…" Yes, or what? There wasn't much left if they already had moved in. So his mother had a new family.  
„We're not that far along, but it's nice to have them around the house."  
Eli could imagine this. His mother must have been lonely all alone in this big house.  
"Are you happy?" he finally asked. The same question his mother had asked him weeks, years ago; and she seemed to remember.  
"Yes Eli, I am. I’m happy with Aaron and Henry and knowing you are well. Only truly having you back, the real you, would make me more happy."  
"That's good." Eli smiled, again relieved that she couldn't really see him right now. No, he wouldn't tell her how bad he felt, that would only make her worry, and he didn't want that.  
A small kitchen alarm in the corner rang suddenly and his mother stood to get the cookies out of the oven. Eli followed her and looked at the baking tray. Chocolate chip cookies. His favorite. As if she had known that he would come. Or maybe it was just a coincidence, because everyone loved her cookies, Aaron apparently included. Something they had in common, Eli thought, confused. What else did they have in common? Would he be able to find out on his own? Most likely not, with the way things were at the moment.  
"I have to go back." Eli found it uncomfortable being there, and that made him feel insecure. He had to process this new information first.  
"Already?" His mother looked at him confusedly, and he tried to smile.  
"Yes, there is much to do. I just wanted to say that I'm… back. Next time I'll have more time, promised." He embarrassed her, and in comparison to this strange tall body she seemed even smaller, and that made the wrongness of the situation even clearer.  
"Wait a minute." She pulled away, got a small paper bag from the cupboard, and put some of the still-steaming cookies in it. "For the ride."  
"Thank you." Eli smiled for her, even if it was a little hard now. After another short embrace he said good bye and walked out to the car. He didn't turn, didn't look back, just got into the car, the warm paper bag held tightly in his hand.  
"Done?" the driver asked. Eli nodded shortly and gestured down the street. "The park where Colonel Young went is in that direction. When we've collected him, we can go back."  
They only had to drive a couple of meters to reach their goal. Eli indicated for the man to wait in the car and got out himself. The park wasn't that big and about this time of day there were only a few dog owners still hanging around. He quickly located Young, who was sitting on a bench, his gaze directed at a pond. Eli sat silently beside him, the paper bag still in his hand. Small spots from the melted chocolate had started to show on the surface.  
"That was fast," Young said after a while, giving Eli a short look. He shrugged his shoulders. "The timing was inconvenient." To distract himself, he got a cookie out of the bag and took a bite. Even if this wasn't his own body and everything felt kind of wrong, the cookies still tasted heavenly. Without thinking he held the bag out to Young, who looked at him skeptically.  
"Take one already. You won't get some this good anywhere else, and soon we'll be back on Destiny with alien vegetables and meat of animals that don't even have a name. So help yourself."  
Young gave in and took one. Eli watched him from the corner of his eye. The older man really seemed tired, because at the moment he was giving in far too easily to his pleas. On the other hand, he had only asked for small things, nothing impossible. It just was odd to see the Colonel like this.  
Any way, he seemed to enjoy the cookie after his initial skepticism, but everyone on Destiny would have, Eli thought. He wondered how Young's own face would look in a moment like this.

"They gave up on us, didn't they?" Eli asked abruptly, to distract himself from his own thoughts.  
"How did you get that idea?"  
"It's mostly obvious. If they were working on our problem, the committee and whoever else would already be around. After all, you showed up some days ago and the others have already given their reports. But Telford has to round them up now. And somehow everything seemed so quiet. They were about to forget us because it's more comfortable. The world goes on without us."  
"Don't say something like that, Eli." Young rubbed his face, and the tiredness and seriousness of the Colonel became even more evident.  
"It's just the truth." Eli stood up and placed himself directly in front of Young, his hands on his hips. "But I surely won't give up because of that. We're the ones who found the way to Destiny and we'll be the ones who’ll find the way back. Us, together. Rush and me, the whole gang, and you and all the others aboard the Destiny. We'll come back home, no matter how long it takes. It worked with the seed ship, and maybe we'll find another one. It had worked within a star, even with some catastrophic side effects." He still felt guilty because of that, even if the meeting with their descendants had made it easier. "Surely there are more options out there we just haven't discovered yet. We'll find a way." Eli held a hand out to Young, full of optimism and determination. The Colonel took it and came to his feed feeling mare energetic.  
"Yes, we will. Let's go home."

Back on Destiny, it took Eli a moment to get used to the constant pain in his own body again. Young had to feel the same, but he didn't show it. After all he wasn't in this position for the first time. TJ and Greer were with them.  
"Colonel?"  
"Yes TJ, it's us. Did something happen?"  
„No sir, everything is quiet. The two you swapped with just lay here and suffered by themselves.  
"Scientists," Greer mumbled quietly, but loud enough for them to hear.  
"How was it on Earth?" TJ asked, the corners of her mouth twitching lightly. Those two must have been total wimps. But the injuries weren't harmless, so it wasn't their fault.  
"Calm. We will have a meeting with the committee in about sixteen hours, and then we'll know what's next. But at the bottom line is there’s nothing new. What are Rush and the others doing?"  
"Still analyzing and repairing stuff. It’s going smoothly so far. Eli?" TJ turned directly to him. „Dr. Rush said we will reach the star you programmed soon..."  
"Oh, how long?"  
"About three hours," TJ replied after a short look at her watch.  
Eli nodded and sank deeper under his covers. He should be happy about it, but he had become used to Sidus so much that a part of him didn't want to let him go. Or, no-- it wasn't the habit, not really. It was the time he had survived with the energy being at his side. Thanks to that, a connection had formed between them he didn't want to relinquish, no matter how strange that sounded.  
Young sent Greer and TJ away, and silence stretched between them. Eli was so deep in thought that he was a little startled when Young spoke again. "You like him?"  
"Yes, a lot," Eli replied quietly, closing his eyes as he turned away. He was so tired from all the things that had happened.  
Young didn't say anything else, and Eli drifted off till the unmistakable feeling of falling out of FTL alarmed him. When he opened his eyes, Sidus was floating beside him.  
"You can feel it, can't you?" He smiled, and the light took the shape of his reflection. "Soon you’ll be there. Soon you'll be with your own kind again." Hastily, Eli turned away and was confronted by Young's calm, piercing gaze. Eli didn't say anything but straightened and fought his way out of bed. He had to fight against some dizziness because he had been lying to long already, waiting till his circulation had adjusted. At that instant Rush, TJ, Chloe and Scott came in.  
"Eli, you shouldn't just get up yet," TJ admonished immediately, but Eli waved off her words.  
"I'm fine. If I stay lying down any longer I’ll go insane. Aside from that..." He broke off and looked over his shoulder to Sidus, who was shapeless again, still floating next to the bed. "Aside from that I can hardly say good bye lying down. How much longer?"  
"About an hour. We got out of FTL really close to the star, but we will only graze it. It's damned hot and we get the same energy readings as those of your friend."  
"Yes, hot and big and full of life," Eli said to Sidus, and smiled tiredly at him.

Eli stared at the closed door. Behind it was the damaged section where he had found Sidus. He would have preferred to do this alone, but Young had insisted that Scott and Greer accompany him. Both stood some steps behind him and waited while he said good bye. He really shouldn't make such a big affair of this. A simple "bye, take care' would be enough, but it wasn't easy for him. He couldn't even touch or embrace him for parting, as much as he would have liked to.  
Sidus stood before him as his reflection from head to toe and waited to finally be free again. Eli gulped and raised both hands before himself as if he would press them against a glass pane. Sidus copied the gesture, but maintained his distance.  
"I thank you for everything you did for us… for me. I won't forget you. Now go to the others, you're home again."  
Eli let his arms fall and took a step back, while Sidus remained a bit longer. Then the silhouette melted first into Rush and then Young before it vanished completely and only a floating sphere of light was left. Eli felt a heavy sting in his chest when he walked back even farther and Sidus vanished through the door.  
Endless minutes went by and Eli didn't move, just waited. Finally Rush's voice sounded from Scott's radio. "It's gone. The energy signature has moved away from the ship. As soon as we have enough distance from the star we'll go back into FTL."  
"Scott here, understood, thank you."  
Silence spread between them, and now that they had done what they had come for, it was rather uncomfortable.  
"We should go back," Scott said after a while, and Eli nodded, but didn't move.  
"Are you okay, Eli?"  
He nodded again, but they both knew he wasn't.  
"Come on, Eli, you're still not well yet." Scott directed him gently through the corridor and Eli let himself be guided without resistance. Back in the infirmary, he holed up under his covers wordlessly, put his earplugs in with clenched teeth, and ignored everyone else. He couldn't take their questions and looks right now.

Hours later he found himself on Earth again with Colonel Young and Dr. Rush. He had swapped with someone different this time. When would it finally stop? They sat at a big conference table together with a dozen people who all seemed to be somehow important. He only knew General O'Neill and Colonel Telford. The others had been introduced as scientists, members of the IOA and the Air Force, and a senator and his assistant. Eli hadn't even tried to remember their names. Did the senator know that his predecessors had suffered an untimely death?  
Eli tried to concentrate on the conversation, but other things were going through his head. And as unfriendly as they were, he had no desire to answer their questions. He had written everything important in his report twenty-four hours ago, and they were asking the same questions over and over again, as if he was a criminal in an interrogation. The representative of the IOA was annoying him especially, and finally, Eli decided he had had enough.  
"What the hell do you actually want from me?" he eventually interrupted in the middle of the man’s sentence, surprising even himself. "I wrote down what happened, what you have to know. Do you think it will change if you rephrase your questions a hundred times? What are you aiming for? We are out there, we are awake, and we are fighting to get back home while you sit on your asses and do nothing. If you want to do something then say so, if not; say it, so we don't have to waste our time here any longer."  
„Eli!"  
„Mr. Wallace!" he was reprimanded by Young and O'Neill simultaneously. Rush, who had been mostly silent till now, spoke up before someone else could. "Gentleman, please. Mr. Wallace has, in an admittedly very undiplomatic way, brought the matter to a point. As wayward and impulsive as his actions have been, the result is the same: we are here. So please, let's talk about your next steps."  
Eli sank back into his chair, embarrassed. Thankfully the conversation didn't focus on him any longer. He threw unobtrusive looks to Rush and Young. The face of the Colonel was neutral and didn't reveal anything, while the corner of Rush's mouth twitched suspiciously. For a moment, he could see the scientist in the strangers face. According to his evaluation Rush had liked Eli's embarrassing outburst, even if it had been childish.  
The conversation seemed to go on forever. They discussed scientific and technical matters, the funding, the activities of the Alliance and the situation in the Pegasus galaxy. Even considering they weren't under as much pressure as they had been two years ago, the problems still remained. No supplies from Earth, no return from Destiny. They could only go on and on and make the best of it.

After the meeting was finally over, Rush and Eli went back to the stones to get back to Destiny. Young stayed behind, obviously to discuss something. Eli looked worriedly back. He was sorry for his outburst, even if it had only been the truth.  
"Don't think about it, Eli," Rush said, who had noticed his look and interpreted it right.  
"I was totally out of line. How am I supposed to not think about it?"  
"It may not have been ideal, but the ends sometimes justify the means." The amused twitch in Rush's lips became more evident. At least one person was on his side. But would Colonel Young see it the same way? Surely he was not as disappointed as he had looked.

***

A couple of days had went by. Thanks to the amount of food they had recently found on a planet, their supplies had been refilled. All crewmembers had been woken from stasis and daily life had returned aboard the Destiny. They had been working feverishly on rebuilding the hydroponics. Repairs were being made around the clock on the ship. Young had made a speech about their situation in the gate room: that they still couldn't return home, and the end of their journey wasn't in sight. The stones were in constant use while the crew visited Earth and scientific personal helped out on board. Destiny continued its journey without incidents.  
Eli was released from the infirmary for some time now, even if his hands still weren't fully healed and his food consumption was under TJ’s constant control. The loosening skin itched unbelievably, and when he touched something warm, his nerves still send out waves of pain. But it had gotten bearable and he finally could do a lot of things by himself. He wore the bandages only during the daytime, when he was in the control room with the others and doing analyses and calculations. He was useless at any manual labor. At night when he was alone in his quarters and missing Sidus he went through his recordings, giving the skin time to breathe.  
He nearly didn't sleep because he was incessantly followed by dreams which woke him again and again. He was tired, unfocused, restless. How long till they would notice? Rush already threw him skeptical looks, exactly like TJ. But TJ hadn't been on Earth during his outburst. She was just a medic and knew what to look for.  
Sighing, Eli took a look around. He stood in an empty, half-dark corridor. It was late at night and he had started to walk around when he couldn't stand to be in his quarters any longer. At this time, no one aside from the guards and the scientists of the night shift was around. Therefore, he and the omnipresent kino seldom met anyone. But exploring the ship, whose accessible sections he knew almost by heart, didn't distract him nearly enough from his circling thoughts. Rather, the thoughts distracted him from his way, so he had to orient himself anew now and then to get his bearings.  
There were so many thoughts in his head. His mother, who was living her life on Earth and had found a new family. He knew that she wasn’t trying to replace him, but it still bugged him.

A bright light appeared at the end of the corridor and Eli's heart beat faster. 'Sidus' was his first thought, but then he heard the steps and he knew the light had nothing to do with the starbeing. It only was a flashlight. Would it be always like this? Would every lightsource in the dark remind him of Sidus‘s absence?  
"Eli, what are you doing here?" Young sounded surprised.  
Here? Where was here? Eli looked around, taking in his surroundings. The sleeping quarters. Young's quarters to be accurate. How had he come here again? He looked questioningly at the kino, but it didn't answer. The recordings would do that later. Then he looked over to Young again, but stayed silent.  
"Eli?"  
He shrugged his shoulders and stared at his hands. His horrible hands, which would be scarred for a long time. Young followed his gaze.  
"Eli, are you alright? Shall I call TJ?"  
„No. Yes... I mean, yes, everything is fine," Eli stammered. He didn't want to talk to TJ now. Why of all places had he walked here? After all, the ship was big enough. "I should…" Eli paused, unsure of what he should be doing. Why was it so hard to think straight?  
Young walked to his door, opened it, and gestured for Eli to follow, who did so uncertainly. With the typical fizzling and clicking the door closed behind them.  
"You look tired. Don’t you have the early shift? Shouldn't you be in bed?"  
Eli shrugged his shoulders. He had no idea how late it was. Was it even worth it to lie down now? "And you? Why are still awake?" Eli asked to distract from himself. He absolutely had to arrange his thoughts. It had been a stupid idea to follow the invitation.  
"Meeting took longer than expected. Sit down." Young gestured over to the couch which was standing in his roomy quarters, and Eli wondered if it was a good idea to sit down now. The tiredness as overpowering. If he succumbed to it the dreams would come back. No, not a good idea.  
A strange silence spread, which Young finally broke when he sat down himself, leaving enough space next to him in the case Eli would decide eventually to follow the invitation.  
"You look tired. When is the last time you really slept?"  
Yes, when had that been? Surely not in the last few nights. When he had been with TJ at the infirmary, it had been more exhaustion and unconsciousness than sleep. During the time with Dr. Perry and Sidus? No, never sleeping, hadn't been able to. Must have been before the stasis, long before the stasis.  
"Eli? You shouldn't do that."  
Confused, Eli followed Young's gesture with his gaze. He had started unconsciously pulling at the skin on his hands. No, he shouldn't do that, it would slow the healing, deepen the scars. He hastily let his hands fall to his side where they twitched lightly, as if they had their own life.  
"Are you sure that you don't want me to get TJ?"  
"Yes, absolutely sure. I… I'm only…" He started to pace through the room, and as if that had been the starting signal, everything bubbled out of him by itself. He found that he couldn’t stop, and he just had to keep going, not thinking about what he was saying, just talking. Not that it mattered anyway.  
"Everything is so confusing. I'm tired, so tired that I sometimes don't even know what to do, but I just can’t sleep, not really. The time after I first woke up… do you know how long I was really alone? Nine weeks! But it seemed like an eternity to me.  
I had been busy with repairs and there was Dr. Perry and after that Sidus and sometimes Franklin and my mom, too, but… they weren't really there. More than once I had the urge to free Ginn, use the stones, get the others out of stasis. But I couldn't do that, and everything is so bleary. At the beginning it didn't bother me. There was so much to do, but after a while…I lost my feeling for time, didn't know what was real. And it was so cold on the ship, because life support was at minimum. Sidus kept me warm, but I couldn't touch him, not really. One time I was so out of it, that I actually tried it. Even though I knew what would happen." Eli raised his left hand, which had already been burned before the incident in the gate room and had now visibly deeper marks. "It brought me back to reality, made me think straight again, and shortly after that I found the spare pods. I don't know how much longer I would have been able to make it. And now? Now we are here and those people back on Earth have put us on ice, my mom has a new family, and everything is back to normal here, only it isn't.  
If I try to sleep and wake up alone, everything from that time comes back. I forget where I am, lose my orientation, and I get so frightened that I sometimes think I'm still alone there and losing my sanity. That all of you are only a hallucination from Destiny. Nobody there to touch…"  
Eli was talking faster and faster, with a rough, shaky voice, and was now breathing heavily. He abruptly stopped his pacing when Young appeared right in front of him.  
When had the man stood up and stepped over to him?  
"Why didn't you say something earlier? To TJ, or Camille… Miss Armstrong… or anybody else on the ship for that matter?"  
"What would I’ve said to them? ‘Mathboy needs some cuddling or else he’s gonna lose his shit and becomes useless?’ That someone has to hold my hand because I'm afraid of the dark?" Eli sounded bitter. He realized that his anger was inappropriate and so he winced when Young raised a hand. But the only thing that happened was a soft touch at his forehead. Cool fingers on too-hot skin. And the contact was real. He was so tense, so pent-up on adrenalin. All his senses were fixed exclusively on that contact.  
"You're running a fever again, Eli." Young didn't pull his hand away, but ran his fingers along Eli's temple to his cheek down to his cervical artery, leaving a cool trace. Eli could feel his own racing pulse under the slight pressure.  
Hastily he turned his gaze away, searching for a point in the room to fix on and finally ending up on Young's neck, on the reddish imprint, which showed partly under the collar of his BDUs.  
"I'm so sorry, all of this…" Eli raised a hand, but paused a few inches before contact. He just couldn't touch someone with these hands.  
"Eli, you saved my life. I already told you, that this…"  
"None of this ever would have happened if I hadn't deciphered the code on Icarus. Nothing would have happened because we would have evacuated to another planet." He had had more than enough time to think about it. Even if he didn't regret the adventures, everything he had experienced… the price, the lives lost, had been to much, far too much.  
"Eli. This really isn't your fault. You know that, don't you?" Young lay his free hand over Eli's and pulled it to himself till it touched his neck and and Eli could feel Young's calm pulse. Strong, calming, alive, real.  
For a while they only stood like this and slowly Eli's heart calmed down, the tenseness falling off of him even as fatigue began to sink heavily onto his body. His eyes closed. He was close to falling asleep on his feet.  
"Come on Eli. You should sleep," Young said quietly.  
Eli shook his head weakly, didn't have the strength to open his eyes again. "No, not alone…" he mumbled dully, unwilling to give up on that illusion of peace.  
"Stay here tonight. Tomorrow we will find a solution. But now you need to sleep, so let go." The hand above his own vanished, and instead he felt a light pressure against his chest. He gave in, stepping backwards till he met resistance.  
Let himself fall, lose the contact, coil up. There was the contact again, warm, calming…  
Eli drifted off and finally fell into a deep and steady sleep, Young's hand still at his neck and his own hand lying on Young's chest lightly, accompanied by the regular heartbeat.  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, wow, that's it for now. That was 'The lost star'.  
> A big thank you to my Master again for the beta. *lol*  
> I'm so proud of myself translating the whole thing. And honestly: it was fun. I'll do this again. I must, as I have more to write.  
> But right now I can't really tell you when this'll continue as I'm a sloooooooow writer... and Eli and Rush don't want to cooperate. Lets see who is more stubborn: me sitting in my warm flat surrounded by a collection of freshly baked christmas cookies... or them lying in a dark, dank, cold cave without food XD
> 
> *puts a bowl of cookies on the table* Help yourselves and leave a comment ;-)


	4. Blind trust 1/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli has some serious issues, Young and Rush have different ways of helping...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long. I'm such a slow writer and as I want it to be perfect, I rewrite everything a thousand times. Though, I hope it's worth it.

It was not the first time that night that a nightmare had woken Eli: a vague memory of the time alone when he could barely distinguish between reality and hallucination.  
The fear of losing his sanity left him trembling and breathing heavily.  
A hand slipped softly over his arm and made him jump slightly. “Go back to sleep, Eli. Everything is fine.”  
Eli stared over to the dark silhouette of the colonel. The steady shine of the stars gliding by the windows as blurry streaks was not enough to make out details. But that was not necessary. When he closed his eyes he could imagine Young’s calm expression vividly. In the end it was the warm touch that eased him again.  
Eli went back to sleep.

***

// „What did you like the most about Rush?“  
“Nick?”  
“Yes, Nick. What did... do you like about him? What was he like before? Before Icarus and Destiny.”  
“Why do you want to know, Eli?”  
“The man you… love… and the one I know are two different people, aren’t they? Is your Nick even still here? If I knew what he once was like it might be easier… easier to understand him and to get along with him. Because we need him. We won’t make it without him.”  
“… He is still in there, the man I love… I saw it… beneath the surface, deep down he’s still as funny, charming, clumsy… when others only saw my disability he treated me like a normal person. But then…”  
“His wife died, didn’t she?”  
“She was ill for a long time and he couldn’t handle it. It changed him, hurt him, made him sad... but he’s still the same Nick. He only buried it under his grief and helpless anger.”  
“He is calculating, mean and bossy, and not to mention his bad temper. Hard to believe that there is something else too.”  
“He’s just clumsy when it comes to dealing with people, like we all are, like myself when I wrote the simulation that nearly killed him. He doesn’t know how to deal with the people important to him. After the death of his wife he plunged into his work even more than before and blocked everything else. But, Eli, the things we don’t process eat us up from the inside eventually. That he… lost me too made it even worse. How do you heal such wounds?”  
“If I only knew.”

„I’m sorry.“  
„What for?  
„Ginn... because of me...“  
„It’s okay. Like you said: we’re all clumsy. I am too... and what happened wasn’t what you intented, right? Setting free the ghost of a human as a computer program couldn’t go well… Eventually, just to see each other, talk to each other, wouldn’t have been enough for Ginn and me, too. You just beat us to it. It’s better Ginn is asleep, oblivious to everything that’s happening here… and you should be too, Dr. Perry.”  
“Mandy… after everything that’s happened, it’s Mandy.”  
“Go to sleep now, and next time we wake you we’ll have found a way to end all this… Mandy.” //

***

Rush sat absorbed in thought over his breakfast, barely registering what went on around him. It was still early and only a few people were in the mess. The scattered conversations blurred into a quiet buzzing in the background.  
For once, his thoughts were not busy with calculations and plans for Destiny, but with Eli. To be more accurate, with the records of the kino he had found and watched in the last nights. He had been right with his assumption: Eli had been recording nearly every minute of his time outside of stasis, nearly fifteen hundred hours of material. Till now he’d watched barely half of it, most of it in fast forward, but the strain the time alone had put upon the boy, and all that he had accomplished, were already obvious. The records drew a clear picture and gave an unmistakable explanation for Eli’s momentary psychological situation which had not escaped his notice. Rush was not an expert in these matters, but he knew that a ‘build a bridge and get over it’ speech would not do it this time. Especially as Eli had shown that he already had grown up-- headstrong decisions aside.  
No, this was not comparable to their former situations and Rush was the first to admit that social matters were not his strong suit. He was at a loss for the moment. For now, there was nothing he could do but to keep an eye on Eli and to hope that he would not make any mistakes that would do harm to them all.

When Rush arrived at the bridge some time later to relieve Volker and Park on the nightshift, the latter being useful with calculations despite her blindness, he found himself with another problem. Eli was not there. Since he had been released from the infirmary Rush had barely been able to distract him from work. Eli often was already here when he came and stayed when Rush left. But this morning he did not show up. Rush assumed Eli had merely slept in and worked alone for a while. But when there was still no sign of Eli half an hour later, Rush tried the radio. “Eli, please respond.”  
There was no answer. “Eli, you’re late. Where are you?“  
There was only silence on the radio, and Rush was considering worrying, as it was not Eli’s habit to not show up and give no excuse. But he finally got a response from a totally unexpected quarter.  
“Young here… Eli is ill, he won’t be showing up for his shift today.”  
Ill? That could mean nearly anything, but Young did not elaborate. Instead he changed topics.  
“Chess today at 1700, are we still on?”  
“Yes, sure,” Rush answered belatedly.  
“Good. Young out.”  
Thoughtfully Rush switched off the radio so he would not be disturbed. He did not know what to make of this. Why was Young of all people telling him this? Rush rubbed his eyes irritatedly, thought a second about getting someone else to do Eli’s shift, and then discarded the idea. He better worked alone.

***

This time Eli woke slowly, leisurely, till his brain started to work and supplied him with memories. Once again he had been walking around, had ended up at Colonel Young’s room, had lost his composure, had ended up in his…  
He opened his eyes abruptly even before he had finished the thought, but he was alone in Young’s big bed. There was nobody lying beside him. Which made him breathe a sigh of relief, but only till he registered the quiet sounds coming from across the only partly lit room.  
As unobtrusively as possible he turned in the direction the sounds came from, and spotted Young, who sat at the desk and seemed to be writing something. Eli chewed uncertainly on his bottom lip, thinking about how to get out of this situation without making it more embarrassing. But before he could come up with something the colonel looked up.  
“Good morning, Eli,” he said, smiling and took a glance at his watch, before correcting himself. “Though, afternoon would be more fitting.”  
“Uhm.” Eli didn’t know what to reply. This definitely placed in his top three of the most embarrassing moments in his life, though right now he couldn’t think of anything that had been more embarrassing.  
“Uhm, I’m already late for my shift, I have to...” he stammered to fill the silence, desperately searching for an escape, but Young cut him off.  
“Stay in bed and rest. Your shift is already over, and besides I excused you from work. The team is going to survive for a while without you. Just eat and drink, TJ’s order.” He pointed to the small table on the other side of the bed, where a bottle and a bowl stood. The man acted as if it was totally normal that Eli was lying in his bed.  
But before Eli could think more closely about that, he had already grabbed the bottle, half emptied it, and started on the food. He was starving. He hadn’t felt this way for a long time. Hunger yes, actually constantly, but it had been different. Now he also felt an earnest appetite. Besides, it was a welcome excuse for not talking.  
“Do you feel better?” Young finally asked when Eli had consumed most of the food. Eli stopped for a moment to think about it. He still felt a little tired, but his thoughts were quiet and settled for the first time in a long time without him having to make an effort. Putting aside, for the moment, the awkwardness of the situation that was making him nervous. His head didn’t hurt anymore, though, and the constant strain of the past weeks had partly vanished from his body. The fever had gone, too, as far as he could tell.  
He remembered vaguely waking a couple of times, always having Young by his side, but eventually he must have slept through if it already was this late.  
“Yes, much better,” he finally answered honestly, surprising himself. Had this small touch alone accomplished that? Had it been the contact with another human that had finally calmed him down?  
He had made a total fool of himself and even though he needed new rating levels on his embarrassment scale for this whole incident he still wanted to feel this touch again, preferably now. The security, the human warmth.  
Eli looked appalled at Young and then turned back to his bowl.  
“Eli, are you sure?”  
“Yes, I’m just not quite awake yet, I haven’t slept this well for a while… must be the mattress or something,” he finished hurriedly so nobody would get the wrong ideas. He definitely hadn’t slept this well because he was lying in Young’s bed, because Young had been by his side, because Young had touched him. This would have worked with any other person. Definitely. It had been the exhaustion.  
„I should go now.“ Eli put the dishes aside, stood up and took his jacket from one of the stools next to the table.  
“Wait, Eli.” Young stood too and came over to him. „What you said last night… you will have to talk about it.”  
“Forget about it, it was just a slip of the tongue; it won’t happen again.”  
“Like the slip on Earth? Everything you experienced is getting to you. Everyone can see that. Do you really believe a couple hours of sleep have solved the problem?”  
“With all due respect, colonel, this is my problem and I will handle it.  
“I hope so, but you know that it isn’t only your problem. There are many people on board who like you and care about you. And if you lack concentration and make mistakes it becomes everyone’s problem.“  
Eli wanted to reply something defiant but a knock at the door interrupted him.  
Young took another glance at his watch before he continued. “TJ was here this morning, but aside from her nobody has seen you here. Stop by the infirmary. She’s expecting you.” At that Young opened the door and Eli fled Young’s quarters without another word, ignoring Rush on his way out. He only came to a stop when he had put enough distance between himself and the colonel and he found himself alone in an empty corridor. Again he had gotten himself into a brilliant situation. The conversation had gone so completely wrong. Now that he was able to think clearly again and his mind was back in control it wasn’t as easy to be honest with himself as it had been the other night. He would have liked to have had the chance to explain himself to Young, or at least say sorry or thank you, something, but now it was impossible and later it would be only embarrassing to bring up the topic.  
“Damnit.” Resigned, Eli went to the infirmary to get the conversation with TJ over with. She was certainly going to lecture him about why he hadn’t come earlier to her.

***

Rush watched the fleeing young man in surprise and then turned to Young, a chess board under his arm, the matching pieces for it in his hand. “Did I interrupt something?”  
“You’re early.” Young rolled his eyes. „Come in. We have some things we need to discuss.“ He went over to the couch and table and Rush followed while the door closed behind them.  
They sat opposite each other, placed the pieces on the board and started their game. Rush used the time to brief Young on the repair proceedings. But there wasn’t much news about that because they had yet to learn everything from the Ancient database. As Eli had already had stated, it was vast, written in Ancient, and not always easy to understand.  
“But what did you want to really talk about? We could have talked about the current status on the observation deck as always.”  
“It’s about Eli.” Young moved his knight.  
“I see.” Rush moved his rook without hesitation. He should have known. When Young had excused Eli this morning he hadn’t expected to find the young man here. “He didn’t look exactly ill.”  
Young wore a thoughtful expression. “Did you know, that he’s barely slept since he left the infirmary?”  
“I assumed so, according to his behavior lately. But I expected Eli to know his own limits.”  
Young looked at him skeptically, and Rush shrugged. “What?”  
“Obviously he doesn’t anymore. The things Eli went through when we were in stasis are beginning to get to him. His little outburst on Earth was a warning sign we should have taken more seriously. That became obvious last night. He is at the end of his rope and I would say that what I saw was only the tip of the iceberg. If he doesn’t solve this problem soon it will break him. I set TJ on him, but for now he desperately needs to get off the ship.”  
“In that matter he isn’t the only one, and it’s easier said than done,” Rush replied while Young planned his next move. “The crew has been getting more and more agitated. Concentration is slipping; even I registered that. It’s a miracle nobody has blown himself up or something. What do you suggest?“  
„Vacation.“  
„Vacation?“  
Young nodded slowly and finally moved his pawn. “On the next suitable planet, we stop off for supplies, build a camp, and everyone without exception has to leave the ship for a couple of days. Besides the supplies we need to restock the hydroponics completely. We should take full advantage of the opportunity.”  
“And for how long? We don’t have…”  
“Time?” Young interrupted the scientist. „Rush, this isn’t a race, and thanks to Eli we are here nearly a year early. A couple of vacation days would be good for you, too. And when the nervousness and stress have lessened some everyone will be more focused again. Including you. Besides, it’s not like we won’t still have work to do.”  
“Hm… but we can’t afford to let down our guard. We don’t know what awaits us in this galaxy.”  
“No, but everyone suffers under this constant strain. Nobody was prepared for what happened these last months, years. Some diversion will be good for everyone, not just Eli. Who knows how long it’ll be before someone makes a major mistake? We can’t afford that out here. Especially if we can avoid it so easily. You know that.”  
“So, vacation it is. Maybe if we’re lucky we’ll finally find your dream beach and palm trees… check,” Rush said dryly as his lips twitched in a subdued grin. 

***

It took eight days until Destiny left FTL and the system showed them a short list of addresses. It was night on the ship and most people were asleep, with only a handful of people working or killing some time. Rush was alone on the bridge and was analyzing the results of a diagnostic. Even before he could radio Young, Eli came into the room. He looked as tired as before, nothing left of his former energetic nature. Rush had always been irritated by Eli’s exuberant manner, but now that it had gone, he found himself missing it. No, he liked the old Eli better.  
“What’s up?” Eli asked tiredly.  
„A couple of planets. One looks like it might have the materials we need. Another has vegetation, maybe fresh supplies.”  
“We have to make progress with the repairs. We’ve still got food from our last stop, so materials first?”  
“Rush, do you read?” They were interrupted by the radio which lay on the console next to Rush. Rush took it. “Yes colonel?”  
“Where are you?”  
“Bridge. We have a couple of addresses,“ Rush replied.  
“Meet me in the gate room.”

Shortly after that Eli got a kino ready while Rush dialed the first address on the short list as Young came into the gate room followed by two soldiers. It didn’t take long till the kino began sending back data.  
“How does it look?” Young asked. He peered at Eli and then looked over to Rush, who just shrugged. “Like a holiday paradise.”  
Curious, Young glanced at the video transmission. “Anything conspicuous?”  
“Not at first glance, but we still have to send a team to do a wildlife survey. If the dangerous animals are limited, it should be the planet you had in mind earlier.”  
“I think so too. Close it for now and dial the other planets. We should know all our options and see what we can use. In the morning we will send a team to check the vicinity and see if it’s secure enough for a camp.”  
“Camp?” Eli asked, looking irritatedly at the two men.  
“Vacation, Eli. For everyone. And you will be the first to go as soon we have a positive confirmation.”  
“Vacation?” Eli repeated, confused.  
“Yes, but for now get some sleep. Your shift ended hours ago.”  
Obviously Eli wanted to reply, but stayed silent in the end. With a short ‘good night’ he left the gate room. Rush was sure that he wouldn’t sleep enough again.  
“Do you really believe being on the planet will solve his insomnia?” he asked Young, even though he already knew the answer. They had had this conversation a couple of times in the last few days and with the concern about Eli their short list of commonalities had grown by one point. To Rush’s chagrin; as it kept him from more important things.  
“No. It will only solve part of the problem. I will send TJ with him, she has to do her analysis on-site anyway. He won’t be able to avoid her anymore, and I hope that he finally talks to her. He’s been avoiding her, even though she got him to take some sleep-inducing herbs. But that only delays the problem, it doesn’t solve it.”  
“Obviously.”  
“You should be on the first group too.”  
“Why?” Rush still did not think that he himself needed any vacation. He never had been a fan of camping trips and Destiny was definitely more comfortable.  
“Look at it this way: you will be done with it faster. Besides, you can still do your calculations on the planet and whatever else you do.”  
Rush raised a skeptical eyebrow. “If I do the same as always, which is absolutely not possible on the planet, it wouldn’t be a vacation.”  
Young just patted his shoulder and left the gate room grinning.  
Even though he and the colonel were getting on much better, Rush still couldn’t make sense of the other man.  
In the silent company of the soldiers Rush dialed the other addresses, one after another, placing kinos on each and saving the transferred data after a short check. After a last look at the gate he went to his quarters to get a few hours of sleep. As long as no hostile aliens showed up, it maybe wouldn’t hurt to stay for a while.

*

When the artificial morning came aboard the Destiny, the corridors were bustling with lively chatter in short order. The news of their upcoming vacation had spread like a wildfire.  
The gate room was unusually crowded as a small team gated to the planet to explore the vicinity of the gate and assess whether it was safe or not. Brody and Eli were busy analyzing the data the kino had collected in the last couple of hours.  
“Temperature, humidity, amble vegetation… it’s like Earth with a moderate climate. Nearly perfect.”  
“Let’s hope that looks don’t deceive.” Rush didn’t want to get too optimistic. Their experience had shown that this kind of planet always had some sort of animal life, usually dangerous animal life.  
But when the exploration team – Varro amongst them – came back about three hours later, they just confirmed that the planet being perfect for a vacation. They had indeed found some animals and their traces in the surroundings, but they didn’t seem to be a threat. No outsized intelligent hunters, no overdimensioned insects, and no other alien critters that fed off of one’s body. Hopefully it would stay like that.  
Now that the vacation was official Young called a meeting in the gate room to announce the division into groups and to further explain their plans.  
Shortly after that the exploration team went back to setup the camp. They had already found a suitable spot. It was only a couple of minutes away from the gate in a clearing between the edge of a forest and the expansive sandy shore of a big lake.

When Rush arrived there hours later the team had already assembled the tents and was about to setup the measurement devices. While they were on the planet they wanted to find as many edible plants and herbs as possible. But Rush had others plans. If Young had to send him off Destiny, he would neither crawl through shrubbery – the others could do that much better – nor would he do nothing at all. This was definitely not for him.  
One of the kinos they had placed on the other planets had sent back some interesting data that morning and he wanted to investigate it by himself… without being pestered by dump questions. He did not know how long it would take Brody or one of the others to see what he saw, so he would not have much time.  
He put the equipment he had brought through the gate down and went back. In the hustle and bustle no one paid him any attention. But one.  
“How long do you want to continue creeping behind me?” Rush asked when he arrived back at the gate and searched for the address on the remote. Luckily the gate was unguarded at the moment. One hindrance less.  
“I don’t creep,” Eli replied, stepping out of the bushes.  
“That’s right. Creeping would have meant not hearing you a mile away.”  
“I wasn’t that loud.” Rush raised a skeptical eyebrow and Eli continued in a hurry. “Obviously vacation means doing absolutely nothing for the colonel. He forbade everyone to let me help. And TJ and Chloe are looking at me strangely all the time and want to talk to me like aboard Destiny. Under the circumstances, I’m going mad.”  
Understandable, Rush thought, but only asked: “And what does that have to do with me?”  
“You neither insist on talking about any kind of problems with me – and I know that I have them, thank you – nor do you keep me away from work. So, uhm, just don’t send me away.”  
Rush sighed quietly. He could understand Eli. Maybe Young had overdone it, even though the idea wasn’t bad at all, but if Eli was at least a little bit like himself, this was the wrong way. As different they looked at things most of the time, the numbers always gave them both a way to get a grip. Solving a serious problem was what helped them work things out-- or bury them away.  
When Rush was silent for too long Eli turned away, resigned, but Rush held him back. “There is a cave system on one of the other planets. The kino got some unusual energy signatures from it. I want to check it.” While he was talking, he dialed the address and the gate opened behind him.  
“My last time in a tunnel system wasn’t funny at all,” Eli replied but came close and took a glance at the display of the remote, which showed a transmission of the kino. There didn’t seem to be much on the other side of the gate besides rubble, some meager plants and a dark tunnel entrance.  
“As you wish.” Rush walked up the ramp to the gate. He did not want to be held up any longer.  
“Don’t you want to tell anyone where you’re going?” Eli asked, glancing back and forth between the gate, Rush and the direction in which the camp was.  
“I told you.” Rush rolled his eyes and vanished through the event horizon. He waited only a few steps away from the gate. The night sky was lit by a colorful shimmering gas cloud, which produced a weak twilight. Fresh gust of winds tugged at his clothes and the horizon was covered by a bank of dark clouds. It seemed to be quite a few miles away but it was definitely moving in their direction.


	5. Blind trust 2/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rush and Eli do what thay do best: get into serious trouble.

Eli came through the gate a couple of moments after Rush, still unsure about the situation. He looked around suspiciously and finally said: “I hope, there are no monster spiders around, or giant snakes, or bloodsucking alien bats, or…”  
“Eli, there is nothing here! The kino didn’t record any life signs till now, only scarce vegetation. The only things we have to worry about at the moment are oxygen, radiation, and abrupt falling or rising temperatures. So far, the sensors haven’t found anything harmful to us, so buck up.” Rush took a short glance at the remote’s display to find the cave’s entrance. The kino hadn’t shown the sharp slope that rose only about a hundred meters ahead of them. Taking a closer look the horizon in the other direction turned out to be a sharp slope too. They had to be at the bottom of a canyon, the dried channel of an once gigantic river. At least, that was Rush’s guess. Geology wasn’t exactly his field of expertise.   
Followed by a still-grumbling Eli, Rush went over to the opening in the wall. He got a flashlight from the backpack and took a closer look. Sedimentary rock - soft and easy to loosen. It was no wonder, the river had been able to carve so deeply into the surface.   
But to this extent it meant a great span of time and therefore a certain age of the planet. Maybe Eli’s fear of indigenous creatures wasn’t unfounded; though that certainly wouldn’t stop him from finding the origin of the energy. Without hesitation he entered the tunnel.  
The ground beneath their feet consisted of fine sand mingled with some rough stones; material a run died up underground stream had to have washed out from the inside. Rush hoped the tunnel wouldn’t just end in a dead end.

“Are you sure the signature is coming from something down here? Looks very empty to me. Maybe the energy has it’s source somewhere on the outside,” Eli said after half an hour they had spent silently. The tunnel seemed to be endless and every now and then it wound around a spot where harder rock was visible in the walls. The water had taken the path of least resistance.   
There were no larger tributary tunnels either. The underground stream had formed only small branches now and then, too small to pass through.  
“No, the value gets stronger the deeper the kino goes. So the source has to be there. And if you are bored, you can go back and talk to TJ or enjoy the comfort of doing nothing…”  
“Actually I like caves and tunnels. They’re so quiet and dark and…” Eli swept carefully along the wall, feeling dampness beneath his fingertips. The ground was shimmering visibly under the beam of the flashlight too now.  
“Uhm, damp. There still must be some underground spring. It didn’t look exactly like rainforest out there. And is it me or is it getting warmer?”  
Rush didn’t answer. But Eli was right. It really was humid and that couldn’t come from above.  
The warmth indicated volcanic activities, but that wouldn’t match the rock and the canyon. A hot spring was more likely. Rush kept an intent eye on the sensor values. He surely wasn’t careless enough to underestimate the danger of invisible, toxic gases. 

***

„Chloe, did you find something?“ TJ looked up from her notes as the young woman approached her. They had just started collecting samples a few hours ago, but her to-do-list was already full. The richness of plants was unbelievable and a gift for them. The more variety they had the higher the chance that they would find useable fruits, herbs, and plants for their hydroponic lab.  
“Yes, looks like violet strawberries. They smell sweet. I hope they are edible because there is a clearing with brushes full of them.” She was smiling and her normally pale cheeks were covered by an excited red hue. There were things aboard the ship even the technology of the Ancients couldn’t replace. Natural sunlight and fresh air were amongst them.  
“Sounds good.” TJ took the berries from Chloe and put them into a labeled box. “Would you have a moment for me, Chloe?”  
“Sure.”  
TJ looked around but nobody was within earshot. Everyone was busy. “Sit, please.” She pointed next to herself and waited till Chloe had sat down.  
“Did you have the opportunity to talk to Eli in the last couple of days?”  
“You mean a real conversation about what happened to him? What he had done?” Chloe figured what TJ was really aiming at. It wasn’t hard to guess.  
“Yes.”  
“No, he evades me when I get to that topic. I think he even avoids me by now.” She sighed quietly and TJ could see that she was upset about it. That didn’t really surprise her because Chloe was a sensitive person and to her knowledge she and Eli were connected by an honest friendship. It couldn’t be easy for her.  
“He does that with me, too. He doesn’t want to talk about what happened and I don’t know if it’s enough if we wait for him to come to one of us. I fear it’s destroying him.”  
“So what should we do?”  
“For the moment, wait and see and be there when he needs us. We can’t force him. Maybe the next few days in these new surroundings will make a difference. I just would like to ask you to tell me as soon as there is a change about Eli.”  
“Yes sure.” Chloe was about to stand, but TJ wasn’t finished yet.  
“And how are you, Chloe?”  
“Me?”  
“Yes. Is there something you would like to talk about?“  
“No, actually. The incident with Colonel Young aside its been really quiet since we came out of stasis. And now we are here. We still can’t go back home. but I feel good for the first time since all of this started.” Chloe smiled honestly while she said that and TJ returned it.  
“That’s good.”  
“Did someone ask you this question already?” Chloe asked suddenly.  
„What?“  
„How you are? The Colonel nearly died, and after everything...“ Chloe went silent because she neither knew how to put the obvious into words nor if she even should have asked that.  
“Thank you Chloe, for asking, but I’m fine.” Involuntary, TJ glanced over to Varro who had just returned to the camp with a small group of men. They had been exploring their surroundings some more and obviously also successfully hunted some small animals for dinner.  
Chloe followed the look. She didn’t need long to put one and one together. “So, I’ll continue the search. It feels unbelievably good to be able to walk around freely.”  
“Do that, but still be careful.”  
“I will.” Chloe stood and walked into the forest while TJ got back to her studies after another glance over to Varro. She had a lot of work ahead of her.

***

Eli could tell exactly at which point their surroundings suddenly changed. The entrance to the tunnel must have been already about three kilometers behind them, and though they had walked slightly uphill most of the time, it had gotten warmer around them. The soft sediment beneath his fingers had been replaced by hard, sharp-edged rock. It was black and shimmered like glass under the shine of the flashlight. Definitely volcanic rock. The tunnel wasn't washed out by water anymore but a narrow cleft where they could barely walk through behind each other and the uneven ground started to decline again.  
Eli took off his borrowed jacket and bound it around his waist. It was still strange wearing the military camouflage fatigues, but his own clothes were barely useable for planetary excursions anymore. At least the stuff was comfy.  
It didn't take long before Rush got rid of his jacket too and put it into the backpack. The high humidity made both of them sweat.  
Time and again Eli had the urge to say something. Here a comment about the aliens on this planet, there a question about the mysterious energy, but he held it back so Rush wouldn't leave him behind after all. At least he had taken him along. To distract himself he went through his knowledge about geology in his mind. The black rock meaned volcanic activity. Whether there was still a magma stream beneath their feet? That would explain the warmth. But how far would they be able to go before it got too hot? And what about toxic steam?  
On the other hand there must have been an ocean where the sediment had settled. The ocean had gone, maybe the ground had risen. After that a river - long dried out - had carved into the sediment. Even if they hadn't seen any major branches from the tunnel, the whole plain must be perforated like Swiss cheese. Even without expertise and methods of exact dating he could tell that the planet was already a couple million years old. This made it more likely that there were more than a couple of primitive plants.  
He glanced darkly at Rush's back and silently prayed that, of all things, the monsters wouldn't lurk around down here in the dark.  
Caught in his own thoughts, Eli didn't notice how Rush stopped and walked directly into him. The beam of the flashlight was reflected by a calm water surface in front of them. The kino had gone further but the corridor got even narrower. It looked like they had hit a dead end.  
"What now?" Eli glanced back nervously over his shoulder, but there was only darkness in that direction.  
Rush changed the kino from search mode into manual mode. Eli looked over his shoulder. It took maybe about twenty meters before the cleft suddenly got much wider and merged into a cave.  
"Are those crystals? And plants?" Eli asked baffled, as the kino turned and more things became visible.  
"Looks like it. And the crystals seem to be the source of the energy." Rush indicated the scale for the matching value which had risen visibly as the kino had approached the crystals.  
"Cool."  
Rush squatted down and tested the water with one hand. "Lukewarm like the walls... and highly salinated," he added after he had tested the water in one of the tubes from his backpack, even if it would have been faster to just taste it. After their encounter with the virus on the first ice planet they had become really thorough in checking water resources.  
He packed the testing unit away and tucked his trouser legs over his knees.  
"Uhm, what are you doing?" Eli asked suspiciously. This dark water creeped him out.  
"I won’t stay here if the source of the energy is just on the other site. As long as the water doesn’t get deeper suddenly, we should both fit through with some luck. At least there is no current that could do us any harm. But you can wait here, if you like; I won’t be long." He packed the kino remote into the backpack, took it in one hand and the flashlight into the other, and went slowly into the dark water.  
Eli swore quietly. "Wait." As Rush had the only flashlight Eli didn't have much of a choice but to follow him. In a hurry he rolled up his pants and took the jacket into one hand just in case the water got deeper than they thought.  
Rush had waited and wordlessly gave Eli the backpack before they continued on their way together.  
"I do hope wet clothes are the worst that can happen to us," he grumbled. "In horror movies this kind of place is always the perfect setting for the appearance of some kind of monster."  
Rush didn't reply to that.  
They made only slow progress as their way got so narrow they only could get through sideways. The challenge was also to not cut their skin on the sharp-edged rock.  
Finally they reached the end of the passage where the water became the underground salt sea they had seen on the display. Along the walls of the cave steps and ledges had developed. Rush got out of the water onto one of them and then helped Eli up too, who took the outstreched hand without thinking. But then he withdrew his hand hurriedly and hid it behind his back. It didn't make much sense as the burns went up to the shoulder but he hadn't been able to hold back the reflex after he had seen his gross scars.   
"That was unnecessary," Rush said irritated, and watched Eli, the flashlight pointing somewhere at the wall. Even in the weak light the contrast between the red still-fresh scars and the pale skin was clearly visible. Eli wasn't surprised when Rush turned away and looked around instead. He wanted to reply something, defend himself, but let it slip in the end. He lacked the words to explain himself and besides, he had gone with Rush to avoid the whole topic. Which was idiotic as the scars were a constant reminder he carried with him all the time.  
Eli finally followed Rush's example, happy to forget the awkward moment. 

The cave was gigantic. The wall was bestrewn with those large crystals that reflected the wandering beam of the flashlight. In between grew lichen like formations and the ground beneath their feet was covered by miscellaneous small plants.  
The lake seemed black and impenetrable. Even though the water in the passage had barely reached their thighs - high enough to still get their trousers wet - it was impossible to tell if the lake wasn't getting deeper in the middle.  
"How can all these things grow down here? There is no light. Okay, there are algae and lichen on Earth that grow in dark caves, but that many species at one place? How did they get here?" Eli asked while he smoothed out his trousers. The salty water itched on his skin like when he was small and had visited the ocean with his parents.  
"No idea. This cave doesn't have only this one entrance.” Rush gestured deeper into the cave where the walls showed more black hole like clefts. "Probably, spores and seeds have been washed in from the outside. But there are more important things. For the moment I just need some small crystals and some measurements then we can get back."  
While the kino - back to search mode - continued to fly through the cave they turned to the wall next to them. Under closer examination most crystals crew in a height just out of their reach. The plants beneath that line were damper and looked different than the lichen between the crystals.  
"They don't like the water or the salt in it," Eli stated thoughtfully and Rush turned to him, the flashlight directed into his face.  
"What?"  
"Uh, stop that." Eli squinted his eyes. "The crystals. Probably the water line fluctuates and the bigger crystals mark the highest level. The smaller once are younger specimen that grew since the last high water."  
"Possible. Good observation."  
"But we can't reach them. Even the small once are too high up."  
"The kino shows higher ledges deeper into the cave. We should be able to reach them from there." Rush shone the flashlight in the mentioned direction and went ahead, taking one cautious step after another on the slippery ground. Eli followed him with the backpack, glancing distrustfully into the dark time and again. He didn't trust the silence which was only interrupted by the noise of their own hushed steps and the sound of dropping water.  
They passed another cleft branching of the cave. It was on the height of their heads and a small rivulet purled quietly down from it into the underground lake. The queasy feeling Eli had from the beginning grew stronger.  
"It's ahead of us," Rush said and walked faster, of necessity Eli followed.  
They climbed the narrow ledge and finally had the crystals right in front of them.  
"They're beautiful." Eli reached a hand for one of the small examples, but pulled back just before touching. After the disaster with Sidus he had sworn himself to not touch anything without thinking. Rush had said something about an interesting energy signature. Who knew what caused the energy and what damage it could cause. "I'm not so sure we should take one of them.“  
“Eli, don’t make me regret taking you with me on this trip.“  
“Don’t you do that already?” Eli replied before he could think.  
Without a comment Rush pushed the flashlight and the remote into Eli’s hands and took the backpack from him instead, from which he dug some tools. He only needed some small crystals for his examination. Ignoring Eli, he only hesitated a second before he touched the surface with one finger. The crystal - about the size of a hand - started to glow faintly at the contact as if it was reacting to something.  
“Bioluminescence?” Eli asked, astonished, watching the bluish light, at once nervous and fascinated.  
“What?”  
“Natural glowing of organisms, stimulated by chemical reactions. Lisa… doctor Park explained it to me. There are organisms like this on Earth too.” It had been one of these conversations where you just exchange some expertise, because after all those months together there wasn’t much else to talk about anymore.  
“I know what that is. It’s possible. But if it’s chemical it doesn’t explain why I just felt something like an electrostatic discharge. The more important question is: is it responsible for the energy signature too? It seems too weak for that. After all, the sensors got the signal through kilometers of solid rock. Looks like they are just on the surface. They didn’t connate with the wall. I’m going to dislodge a couple of them and then we can leave.” He choose a knife and started to work.  
“Okay.” Eli kept the flashlight pinned to Rush’s hands and had to sneeze, because his nose was itching. The sound echoed uncomfortably around them before it went quiet again. The rippling of the water seemed louder to him now.  
They kept silent while Rush made progress piece by piece.  
“Strange.”  
“What?” Eli came closer and Rush held his hand out to him. Something like reddish roots lay on it. They had been concealed by the lichen and the crystals until now.  
“It looks like organic material and it comes definitely from the crystal.”  
“These are plants too?” Eli asked disbelieving. He hadn’t seen anything like this before.  
“Good question. But we’ll have more than enough time to figure that out later. I’m nearly finished.” Shortly after that two crystals came off the wall and fluoresced in different colors at the full contact with Rush’s hand. Carefully he wrapped the samples into a cloth and packed them into the backpack. Doing this one of his tools slipped from his hand and dropped of the ledge. It landed in the water with a quiet ripple. Surprised Eli shone the light after it.  
“Is it me or did the water level rise?”  
Rush followed his look irritated. The rock and the plants beneath them that had been above the water were now covered by it by a couple of centimeters.  
“We have to get out of here, now!”  
“Took the words right out of my mouth.” Eli got the kino back and steered it along the way they had come. The rivulet they had passed had turned into a small waterfall. In the center of the cave the water seemed to fall directly from the high ceiling. The sound of falling water got clearer from around the cave too. Eli had been right, everything had gotten louder.  
“Where is this coming from so suddenly? There was nothing but desert out there.”  
“Rain… the bank of clouds when we arrived. It must be pouring out there and it all accumulates down here.”  
“You call that rain? That’s a damned deluge.”  
The kino arrived at their entry cleft, but the water was already too high. It was too narrow and long to just swim or dive through. “We won’t get out there. Even if it was broader, with all this water it’s impossible to say if any current or vortex had formed. After all, the water has to go somewhere. We have to take another way.”  
“There is no other way, Eli. The water is flowing in from everywhere, we don’t stand a chance against that.”  
“Do you have any better ideas?” Eli was hardly able to keep the panic out of his voice.  
“Wait. The water won’t rise higher than the crystals. You said so yourself.”  
“And what if I was wrong? If the crystals don’t give a damn about the water and the line has another cause? And what if the water doesn’t fall fast enough and it takes days? Then we will starve, if we don’t get eaten by something or if we don’t have any bacteria or virus from the water already in us and…”  
“Eli! Calm down. Panic doesn’t help right now. One thing after the other.”  
Eli startled because of Rush’s sharp voice and bit his bottom lip. He took a deep breath and nodded slowly.  
“Good. We should find a place that’s higher up. There is a ledge that is bigger and just under the crystal line. That should be enough. Come on.”  
Rush put the backpack over his shoulders and climbed after Eli down the ledge to get to the next one. Eli still glanced nervously into the center of the cave because he didn’t trust the darkness. That distracted him enough to finally slip while climbing. He caught himself, but Rush, far too close behind him, lost his balance and fell into the water.  
“Rush! Rush!”  
The scientist resurfaced and coughed. “It’s fine, Eli.” He swam back to the edge but before he could get out of the water, Eli saw a snakelike dark body swim past behind him. Much too close to be harmless. Rush suddenly froze in the middle of his motions. His eyes went wide and uncontrolled spasms went through his body. Something in the backpack started to glow. It only took a couple of seconds, then the light died, while Rush sank paralyzed into the darkness.  
“Ruuush!”

***

Young ordered Brody to dial the gate and switched on the radio as soon as the connection had established. "Scott, this is Young, how is it going?"  
"This is Scott, the camp is ready and everything works out fine. Varro and his group hunted us a nice dinner and TJ and a small team already started to take plant samples. They seem to be pretty successful. TJ asked for another couple of test units for water and other stuff. Can you send it with Rush, when he gets back from Destiny?"  
"Rush?"  
"Uhm, yeah. James said he headed in the direction of the gate about two hours ago."  
Young glanced questioningly at Brody but he just shook his head silently.  
"Is she sure about that?"  
"Yes sir. Nobody saw him since then... and Eli too," Scott added belatedly which Brody acknowledged with another shake of his head.  
Young brushed through his hair in frustration and took a deep breath. This just couldn't be true. Couldn't you let the man out of sight for even five minutes? "One day I'm going to kill him for real," he muttered under his breath. Brody heard it anyway and glanced at him suspiciously but Young waved it off.  
"Okay, I’ll take care of it. Report to me if one of them shows up or if there are any other news. Young out." He walked over to Brody at the console, which display showed a system analysis. "Any ideas where the two of them could have gone?" He had a bad feeling about this.  
"Not directly, but Rush placed a kino on every planet. I just have to dial everyone and download the data from two hours ago. Then we should see if they are on one of those planets or maybe still with the others.  
"Do that." Young stayed with Brody while he radioed Greer. "Sergeant Greer. Come to the gate room. Bring Anderson and Johns and get ready for a mission."  
"Yes sir."

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to Master for the beta reading. She did a real fast job this time.  
> While I was really fast with the translation this time myself, the writing was really slow. Especially as most of it was already written, I just changed details over and over again... and I still found some minor mistakes, but I can straighten them out later.  
> So, anyone wants to guess, what happened to Rush? XD


	6. Blind trust 3/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli and Rush are in trouble and it gets worse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit on 09.01.2015: Now Betaed

In panic, Eli stared at the dark surface, but aside from the waves of the incoming water he couldn’t make out any movement. He knew he stood no chance against an animal that would attack him under water, but he had to do something.  
“Don’t panic, that won’t get you anywhere,” he whispered to himself as he tried to calm down, with little success. He pulled his shirt over his head and lay down the flash light. He wasn’t leaving without Rush.  
Carefully he slipped into the water.  
His heart beat heavily.  
The water already reached his chest when his feet hit solid ground. He could feel the current but it didn’t hinder him. A contact at his leg made him cringe but nothing else happened. He didn’t have any time left to think about it - to envision all kinds of horror scenarios. Rush had already been under water for too long. He closed his eyes and dove at the spot where he last had seen Rush.  
After a short time he was able to grab a piece of cloth, finally an arm, and he dragged Rush up along with it. He pulled his head above the water, found his bearings by the glow of the flash light on the ledge and swam the few yards over to it. Hurriedly, he pulled Rush’s lifeless body onto the bank, which was already under water. The roar of the numerous small waterfalls was getting deafening and the salty water which was running out of his hair stung his eyes.  
“Rush! Come on, wake up.“ As much as he tried, Eli wasn’t able to hold back the panic anymore. He felt for a pulse but couldn’t find any. With all his strength he pulled the slender man higher out of the water, wrenched the backpack off his shoulders and followed with shaking hands TJ’s voice in his head, which was telling him the different steps of resuscitation again and again. He had been annoyed by having to practice it regularly, but TJ had insisted because she couldn’t always be there, especially on a planetary mission.  
When, after an eternity, Rush finally coughed up the swallowed water and opened his eyes, Eli thanked her silently for her hardheadedness.  
“Rush? Are you okay?”  
Rush needed a couple of attempts before he managed a hoarse ‘yes’. A small trickle of blood ran from the corner of his mouth. He must have bitten himself.  
“Come on. We just have to get a little bit higher, then you can rest.“  
Because Rush could barely move Eli had to muster the strength for them both and, in the end, lay down out of breath next to Rush on the higher ledge. Rush didn’t move anymore beside him but he was breathing fairly even, though flatly, which reassured Eli. With a wet hand, he was reaching blindly for the backpack and hauling it back when he got a slight electric shock. “Ouch.” Confused, he looked to the side and watched, bewildered, as one of the crystals that he had touched accidently started to glow and send small arcs of light to its neighboring crystals. Those started to glow too and like a chain reaction it continued from one to the other. Breathless Eli watched as the whole cave lit up bit by bit.  
“Rush. Look.”  
The scientist forced his eyes open unwillingly and could now see what they only could have guessed the whole time in the dark. The ceiling was completely overgrown by crystals that were now glowing softly. And the cave was actually gigantic; what they had seen in the dark had only been a fraction of it.  
“… ‘tals… ba’pack.” Rush was hardly intelligible, but Eli knew what he was trying to say. He pulled the backpack closer, this time being careful not to touch the wall. Then he got the wet cloth with the collected samples from it. When Eli opened it the crystals were tarnished black.   
Carefully he brushed the surface of one. A kind of light soot was left on his fingers.  
“Wow, they really don’t like the water. But why are they growing down here at all?” Eli wiped his hand on his trousers, wrapped the samples back up, and packed them away together with the flash light he didn’t need anymore. The water had only gotten partly into it so the jackets had mostly stayed dry. He got them out and took a closer look to find out what else Rush had brought besides the knife and the testing units. It wasn’t much. A bottle of water – not that they didn’t have more than enough of it at the moment, albeit impotable – a small bag of tried berries, and his radio, which was probably useless thanks to the electric shock. Besides, there was certainly no reception down here. Obviously Rush had anticipated neither difficulties nor that it might take longer. Great. A mathematical genius he might be, but a boy scout he surely wasn’t.  
Eli sighed. And like an idiot he had blindly followed him just to get away from the others. That hadn’t been exactly clever either.  
He shivered and was reminded that he was completely soaked. The inflowing rainwater had lowered the average temperature considerably. They had to get dry if they were going to stay for some time. He got out of the rest of his clothes and got the still dry shirt back on. Only the wet shorts he left on, even though it wasn’t really comfortable.  
“Rush, are you able to move?”  
“What for?” His voice was still rough.  
“You have to get dry. The temperature is dropping.”  
Rush didn’t move.  
“Then I’ll have to do it.” Resolutely Eli grabbed Rush’s shirt, which made the man flinch.  
“Eli!”  
Eli expected that Rush would push him away, but the man barely managed to lift his arms before they dropped powerlessly.  
“How many volts did the damned thing send through you?” Eli asked, surprised but undeterred. He continued more carefully, ignoring the quietly hissed insults and curses. As long as Rush could still curse everything was alright.   
When Eli was finished he put the second jacket on him. The rock beneath them hadn’t lost any of its warmth yet luckily. Hopefully it would stay like this for a while.   
“Look, much better. Spare the dark look and get your body back under control. Get some rest. I’ll keep an eye on everything.” Eli lay down next to Rush and tried to relax. The panic slowly seeped out of his body and his heartbeat normalized, leaving him drained. He listened to the sounds from the cave while he watched the glowing crystals above them. Their low humming was barely audible beneath the roar of the water. Eli wasn’t sure, but it seemed to him it had gotten slightly quieter. Maybe, after all their disasters, they had some luck and they wouldn’t be stuck too long down here.

oOo

„That’s it.“ Brody gestured in the direction of the open gate, and Young, who had been talking to Greer, stepped up to him.  
“Are you sure?”  
“I went through the list of all available planets. No sign of Rush or Eli. But I didn’t get any data from this one. So, either the kino is damaged or someone switched it off or brought it out of range.”  
“Good. Send a new one. I won’t send anybody through blindly.“  
Corporal Barnes already had one of the small devices ready and let it slide through the event horizon after a sign from Brody. It only took a couple of moments before it started sending back plenty of data and a recording.  
“It’s raining cats and dogs,” Brody asserted first.  
Greer stepped up next to them, too, and took a look at the recording. There was hardly anything to see. “If there had been any traces they’re already washed away. Are you sure they’re there?”  
“Yes, even though I can’t explain why, they… wait.” Brody entered something into the console and some more data appeared on the display next to the kino broascast.  
“This is the original data from the first kino. Do you see that? It’s a really unusual energy signature. I already noticed it this morning but I wanted to investigate it later. I’ll wager Rush saw it too and wanted to take a closer look.”  
Young took his radio. “Rush, come in.” He waited a couple of seconds before he tried again. “Eli, do you read?”  
“They’re either too far away or reception is disturbed.”  
“Let’s hope it’s only one of these. Can you locate the remote?”  
“No, not from here. But as soon as someone goes to the planet it shouldn’t be a problem.”  
“But we can’t risk it with this weather. Close it and dial every half hour. Keep me posted. As soon as the rain lets up you go through, Greer. Stand by.”  
“Yes sir.”  
“All right.” Brody shut the gate and Young left the gate room. Greer hesitated for a moment before following the colonel. He caught up to him in the empty corridor.   
“Colonel?“  
„Yes, Sergeant?“   
„Rush’ll keep an eye on Eli. He always comes back.”  
Young just nodded and watched as Greer went back to the gate room.  
No matter how much of a genius each of them were, Rush and Eli were magnets for disaster.   
It also could have been bad luck, or the fact that they didn’t belong out here. Whatever the reason was, he would bet they were in a stupid dangerous situation again. He hoped they would come back safe and sound so he could strangle Rush personally and lock Eli up somewhere. Both of them drove him mad.

oOo

Rush’s vision was blurred. Pain ripped through his nerves and made his muscles spasm as electric shocks went through his body over and over again. He was defenseless against Kiva's men, but he wouldn't give up easily. He tried to get away, tried to move as far as his hurting muscles would allow it but something held him back. Panicked, he tried to fight it off.  
"Dr. Rush... Rush!... Damn it, Nick! Believe me, you don't want me to let go of you."  
Cold water splashed into his face; leaving salt on his rough lips, and he came to. Only a few inches away from his eyes was the dark surface of the lake. Eli's arms held him around the chest and barely kept him from falling. Surprised, Rush drew back and Eli used the momentum to roll them over and get some space between them and the water.  
"You can move again. Great," Eli said dryly, but his voice was unsteady.  
Rush clenched his fists, moved his legs and toes. Yes, he could move again but his muscles still hurt like hell and there wasn't much strength in his grip. He wasn't surprised that this reminded him of his stay with the Lucian Alliance. The electric shock of the creature seemed similar to that of an electric eel on Earth and it had brought back the memory in each and every cell of his body far too clearly.  
He brushed his shaky hands over his face and tried to banish the pictures from his inner eye. With little success.  
"How long..."  
"Did you sleep? About an hour. The rain must have stopped a while ago. Anyway, the water isn't rising anymore, luckily. It was getting close. I just hope it won’t take days till it drains because I'm already starving." Eli's grumbling stomach emphasized his last words.  
"There're berries in the backpack."  
"I know. I ate half of them, rest is for you."  
"Just eat 'em. 'm not hungry."  
"It's okay. Maybe later."  
"Eli."  
"Save me the 'Eli'." He copied Rush's tone and got out the water bottle. "Drink. You might feel better afterwards."  
Rush peered at Eli and finally complied. Eli had to help him straighten up for drinking. He gulped down some water and lay back down. His body was thankful for it.  
"Meanwhile, I did some more recordings of the crystals. Maybe they'll help later somehow, but there is nothing else to do but wait, which is boring as hell."  
"So sleep. I'm awake now."  
"I'm not tired. I've rested enough."  
"Can you say that again without your eyes closing every other second?" Rush asked without hesitation. Eli gave him a dark look and went back to watching the crystals without another word.  
Rush took the remote and watched the recordings and measurements Eli had made in the last hour on the small display. The crystals had expanded their electromagnetic fields considerably. He didn't even need the kino's sensors to feel that. He could feel the energy on his skin where the small hairs stood on end. It was a strange feeling.

"I never thought of you as a hobby geologist," Eli said after a while out of the blue and Rush looked at him, confused.  
"How did you get that thought?"  
"We're in a cave with glowing crystals? Granted, they're fascinating and beautiful, but still you never would leave the ship for something like this. Unless you were hoping for something else." Eli looked at him suspiciously. "Where did you think the energy would come from? What were you expecting down here?"  
"Nothing important. The colonel kicked me literally off of the ship and I was just curious."  
"You’re at least as bad a liar as I am."  
Rush didn't reply. His arms had already started to protest against holding the remote. He laid it aside and tried to relax, watching the crystals like Eli. Neither did Eli say anything after that. Finally it was Rush who broke the monotonous sounds of the cave because the silence seemed overwhelming. Normally he didn't care. Maybe it was their current situation.  
“Gloria would’ve liked this place. She loved crystals. She didn’t want to know anything about their underlying mathematical structures. She just loved the clear edges, the colors caused by material inclusions, and the manifold shapes. The wonder of nature. Mandy, on the other hand, liked their technical possibilities and could spend hours with the crystalline circuitry of the Goa’uld and the Ancients…”  
Rush went silent and Eli needed a moment before he asked, confused: “Why’re you telling me this?”  
“Because you asked.” Rush looked to the side and directly into Eli’s face.  
“I didn’t…” He could exactly see the moment when Eli realized the meaning of his words.  
“You saw the kino footage!” Eli bolted upright, his face contorted in rage for a couple of seconds. But before he said something, he took a deep breath and sank back resigned. The angry expression vanished as fast as it had appeared. “Damn it, you shouldn’t have seen those.”  
“I know.”  
“How much?“  
„Does it matter?“  
„How much?“  
„Most of it. I had to know what you were doing all this time. We already know that Destiny can’t be operated by one person alone. That many repairs need more than one person, because anything else would be too dangerous. A great part I skipped through in fast forward.”  
“You could’ve just asked me. I would’ve told you. At least, what’s important.”  
Rush could not resent Eli the reproachful look. Watching the records had been a great violation of his privacy, after all, as far as there was anything like privacy on a space ship.  
“You had a lot of questions you couldn’t answer by yourself and there was nobody else to answer them for you. Always aware of the fact that you might not make it through. That must have been… difficult.”  
“Sometimes.”  
“But you had a lot of fun too.”  
“How did you get that idea?”  
“Yoga with an alien energy being that preferred to take your form? As far as I can tell you looked happy in those moments.” Rush raised an eyebrow and Eli looked at him, stunned, before he grinned and broke into peals of laughter. “Oh my gosh yes, Sidus. Somehow I had to stay fit and I was never much of a runner. So I tried what Chloe had shown me. It helped and he was just curious about everything. I don’t know if he understood why I did it. How much he understood at all of all those things I told him.” He gasped for air and suddenly the laughter was mingled with tears and erratic breathing. Embarrassed Eli turned away and rubbed his eyes hastily, tried to calm down again. It took a while and Rush gave him the time before he continued as if nothing had happened.  
“I guess that’ll stay a mystery. The Ancients took their souls with them when they ascended and transferred to energy. They took the ability to think and feel with them, in some way, even though there’re people on Earth who would question the part about feeling. But how does a being consisting only of energy evolve the ability to think and feel?”  
“I asked the same question sometimes. But I didn’t care as long as Sidus was with me.”  
Rush didn’t know what to reply to that. He closed his eyes reluctantly and tried to get some more rest.

oOo

Eli bent over the edge of the ledge and evaluated the water. Again. Lying there and doing nothing drove him nuts. Especially as hungry as he was. At least his stomach had stopped the embarrassing rumbling. “The water level has started falling. Fortunately.”  
“Seems to be going pretty slow. It’ll take hours.“  
„At least try to think optimistically for once,“ Eli grumbled. Meanwhile, the crystals had gone out once already and Eli had had to reactivate them. He still found them somewhat creepy, but he didn’t want to sit in the dark or exhaust the batteries of the flash light unnecessarily.   
In the light of the crystals he had seen a swarm of small fish and unfortunately the alien electric eel, too. He had recorded everything with the kino and had seen live how the animal, that had nearly killed Rush, hunted normally. With so many animals in the water there had to be a tunnel to the outside or else the big animal would have starved long ago. He wondered if the small fish were edible. Even if they were, they had no chance of making a fire down here and he was no fan of sushi. He wouldn’t…  
“Eli! Rush! What the hell are you doing there?” They both jumped when Greer’s slightly distorted voice sounded suddenly very closely. It came from the kino.  
“Greer. Thank god. How did you find us?“ Eli caught the small device.  
“Your traces were hard to miss after Brody told us what to look for. Besides, the signal of the remote was strong enough to make it through. Where are you? According to the readings you can’t be more than two hundred yards away, but this is a dead end. The tunnel is flooded.”  
“Stating the obvious,” Rush replied. „The rain surprised us and trapped us down here in a big cave. The tunnel is too narrow to dive through and there is something in the water I don’t want to meet up close a second time.”  
“Are you injured?”  
“No,” Rush said before Eli could say something. The man still couldn’t move properly. This was idiotic.  
“Okay. So, what’s the plan?“  
„Now, that it has stopped raining the water level is falling slowly. But at the current rate it’ll take hours.”  
“Do we just have to sit here and wait?” Greer asked grumpily.  
Rush looked confused at Eli.  
“Claustrophobic,” he mouthed, turning away from the kino.  
“You don’t have to wait there. It would be even more helpful if you would go back to the surface and keep an eye on the weather. If it starts raining again, this will take forever. Also, there’re countless tunnels leading into this cave. Maybe you’ll find one that’s passable without danger.”  
It was silent for a while before Greer’s voice sounded again. “We’ll see what we can do. Radio communication doesn’t reach all the way down here. We’ll work something out so you can stay in contact. Tell us as soon as something changes on your side. Greer out.”  
Eli put the kino away and lay back on the stone. “Oh boy, the colonel will be so pissed.”  
“Possibly, like always.”  
“That’s not funny, because this time he has a right to be.“  
Rush looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Eli sighed. Sometimes, Rush really seemed to be set out to provoke Young. They were like cats and dogs.  
Unfortunately, it wasn’t always just funny, but dangerous, too. And at the end Eli was the one who suffered.  
“You’re impossible,” Eli grumbled and turned away to stare at the water again, but his glare did nothing to help it fall faster.

oOo

Greer took an inconspicuous deep breath when he stepped out of the tunnel. The sun was rising at the horizon. The sky was a clear blue as if it hadn't been pouring just a couple of hours ago. This wasn't a comfortable planet even if it looked like it at the moment. Brody had given him the data of the kino and during daytime the canyon was going to heat up a great deal. The rain must have been an exception considering the lifeless desert around him. He didn't plan to stay longer than absolutely necessary, but this was still better than those damned tunnels. Damn Rush and his harebrained ideas.  
He reported to the Colonel who sent him Scott and half a dozen other soldiers.  
"What's going on? Colonel Young just said you could use some help," Scott said, when he arrived and looked around.  
Greer gestured behind himself to the tunnel entrance. "Eli and Rush are trapped in a flooded cave. They aren't in any danger at the moment, but if it starts raining again or if the water isn't falling faster this will take forever. We should split up and search for other entries. Take a look around, now that we're already here. I would like to take a look from up there. There were cracks in the ceiling on the record of the cave. Maybe we can get both of them out from above."  
"Good plan," Scott agreed and turned to the soldiers who had come with him through the gate. "Marsden and Dunning, you two take this direction. Reynolds and Baras, you two go this way. Graham and Panhall that way. Look for tunnels that..."  
"Are heading southwest in their main direction. The sun just started rising so this is east." Greer gestured to the sky before he continued. "We haven't encountered any aliens so far, but there are animals in the water so it's possible they're on land too."  
"You heard the man," Scott resumed. "Keep your eyes open and report regularly. James, you stay at the gate and keep up communication between everyone and the Destiny. Questions?"  
"No, Sir."  
"Then go."  
"Yes, Sir," everyone said in unison, and the men scattered. Greer and Scott requested climbing gear from Destiny and went to work as soon as they received it. The soft rock made it easy to find footing but it gave way easily, too, and they had to be careful. James kept them in the loop while the climb dragged on.

oOo

"Knight to F5."  
"Not possible."  
"Why? Sure it's possible. I just..."  
"Eli?"  
Eli took the remote as Airman Metner’s voice came through, glad to end this stupid imaginary chess game. "Yes?"  
"Scott said you should navigate the kino through the biggest gap you can find in the ceiling."  
"Understood." He sent the kino through the gap where the most water had come from during the rain. At the moment it was just dripping now and then. He concentrated on the video, trying to assess if it was possible for them to pass through. It looked really narrow at some points. Did they even have this much rope? When the kino left the dark shaft and entered the sunlight, Eli couldn't see anything for a second. Only after the kino had switched back to normal sight mode did the surroundings get clearer. High grasses, some individual gnarled trees, only a few hills and a still low-lying sun. A steppe-like landscape. And in the middle of this Scott and Greer came walking up to the kino. They exchanged silent looks, dropped their climbing gear and drew their weapons simultaneously.  
Eli starred confusedly at the display. "Uhm, guys, what's going on?"  
Scott put a finger to his lips in a hushing gesture and grabbed the kino to turn it about one hundred eighty degrees.  
"Holy..." Eli swallowed the rest of his words and looked fascinated at the crashed space ship that was partly buried into the ground only a couple of yards away from Scott and Greer. It must have been a hard crash. Eli could feel Rush pressing into his side to see.  
"Switch back to the measurements," Rush said and Eli switched back to the charts. When he saw the high values he knew what Rush was aiming at. "You're right. The energy must have come from this ship. Maybe it had been something in their drive."  
"Whatever it is, it must've drained down here with the rain, where it crystallized. Lieutenant, drop the weapons and just get us out of here first. Even if something had survived the crash it's long gone. The wreck has to have been there for quite a while. Those crystals didn't grow over night."  
Eli turned the kino back to Scott. He could see that the man was hesitating, but finally he nodded and took the climbing gear.  
"How does it look down there, Eli?" Scott asked while he got ready for the descent. Greer helped him.  
"Not good. Water level is dropping slower now. So, even without the fish we won't get out of here the way we came in."  
"Okay, then we have to try it this way. Did you notice something in the shaft?"  
"There're two spots were it gets more narrow but we should be able to squeeze through I guess. I hope you're aware that I've never done this before and Doctor Rush'll have his own problems in his condition."  
"Eli!"  
"Condition? I thought no one was injured."  
"I'm not injured."  
"How do you call an electric shock that caused you a heart attack?"  
"I'm fine. And we've got to get out of here somehow; there is no other way."  
"I just said..."  
"Enough!" Scott cut in on the quarrel because they were only loosing time. "We'll address it when it comes up. I'm coming down now. Get ready. The kino should follow me down so we can stay in contact."  
"Okay." Eli was glad to finally have something to do, even if it meant that he had to get his still-clammy clothes back on. Rush gave him a couple of dark looks while he was dressing too. But Eli could see that his movements were still erratic. He couldn't imagine that he would manage it up without help.  
Eli kept one eye on the events above them. Greer had secured the rope at the entrance and Scott was beginning to descend slowly.

„You were right Eli. It’s getting more narrow,“ Scott confirmed after a while. “But it’s still passable.”  
When he finally arrived in the cave Eli took a relieved breath. “Stay away from the crystals. The bigger they are the more energy they generate and that’s really nasty,” he warned belatedly. “Besides, we still don’t know what else they can do, if they’ve been used in the alien drive.”  
“Thanks.” Scott pulled back his hand just before touching one of them. He slid down the rope and swung back and forth till he could reach the ledge. Eli and Rush helped him gain his footing.  
“Good, now that was the easy part. Getting back up will be more of a challenge. You first, Doctor Rush. Use the uneven walls of the shaft for leverage while you climb. Greer will secure you with the rope, but he can’t pull you up the whole way. Save your strength. It’s a long way up.“ Scott gave them his water bottle, which they emptied in turn. To Eli’s regret he didn’t have any food with him.  
Eli sent the kino ahead and followed Rush’s ascension with apprehension. His earlier assumption was confirmed only after a short time. The man had barely managed the first yards when his hand started to tremble visibly. Nobody said anything, and interjected by countless breaks Rush fought his way up. Two times he lost hold and Greer had to catch him with the rope.  
When he finally reached daylight and sat next to the shaft on the ground, Eli breathed a sigh of relief. “So stubborn,” he murmured. Scott patted his shoulder. „Nothing new. And this time it actually helped. Come on Eli, you’re next. You can do this, too.“  
„Sure.“ Eli glanced skeptically up to the dark hole in the ceiling and got ready. It was time he got out of here. He didn’t take as long as Rush but the last couple of yards seemed to stretch forever.  
Scott emerged from the cleft in the ground shortly after him, the backpack hanging behind him on the end of the rope.  
“Boy, I’m glad we’re out of there. Thanks. Some dry clothes and something to eat and I’m going to vacation like a nice boy. I swear. What do you think, Rush?“ Eli looked around, but there was no sign of Rush. “Where did he go now?”  
“Take a guess.“ Greer gestured over to the alien ship while he wrapped up the rope impassively.  
“Rush! Come back. A team can take a closer look at the ship later,“ Scott shouted but he didn’t get an answer. Eli sighed. “As if he would miss out on a chance like this. I’ll go get him.“  
Eli jogged the few yards over to the ship, which looked ready for scrap heap. It was hard to tell how long it had been lying there. The crystals in the cave could have grown within a couple of weeks. It was always depending on environmental conditions.  
Hopefully there were no alien bodies in there. That would be the last thing he needed now. The ship had been about twice the size of one of Destiny’s shuttles. It had been broken apart in the middle by the crash and miscellaneous parts had been scattered in a perimeter of several yards.  
Eli found Rush in the rear part where the drive most probably had been. A trace of small crystals went from a broken container over the floor to the outside.  
“If this really was the energy source for the drive we should find out what this is.”  
“Sure, but now we should get back to Destiny first. We caused enough trouble for one day and the ship isn’t going anywhere. As soon as we get some rest we can analyze it closer.” Eli looked at the strange symbols that were scattered on every surface. He admitted that he was more than curious, but he had a bad gut feeling. Though that could just be his hunger.  
Rush finally looked up to Eli and started to say something. But he seemed to change his mind because it took a few moments till words actually left his lips. “You look tired.”  
“Yeah, because I am. You know as well as I do that I haven’t been sleeping properly for weeks. But that doesn’t matter now. You’re at the end of your powers, too, no matter how much you deny it. This really doesn’t go anywhere. Also, it would be better you come voluntarily because at least Greer would have no problems dragging you back to the gate forcibly.”   
“Right.” It wasn’t clear which of the statements Rush was referring to, but that was secondary, as long as he finally came. “Okay, I just want to take a look at the front compartment, then we can go.”  
“Thank you.” Eli followed Rush through the ship. There were broken parts everywhere, cables hung from the ceiling and here and there were signs of a fire. The crash must have been rough. But if he took the spreading pattern of the parts and the completeness of the shell - aside from the break in the middle - into account, it must have been a decelerated crash. Whoever had piloted this ship had tried to avoid the worst and to land it, as far as he could tell. But they didn’t seem to have had much luck.  
“Oh God.” Eli stood rooted to the ground when they reached the cockpit and pressed a hand to his mouth. He could see three alien bodies on first sight but he was too busy turning away and avoid getting sick to take a closer look and be sure. As if the sight of the deformed bodies wasn’t enough, the smell of decay was nauseating. The only reason they were still able to breathe was obviously the broken glass-like front of the cockpit which let in fresh air.  
“I think we’ve seen enough,” Eli choked out.   
Rush held an arm in front of his nose and mouth but kept going. “Hmm, strange. They look as if they’ve died only recently. The crash might not have been that long ago, but then the growth rate of the crystals must be unbelievable fast.”  
“That’s really interesting. But can we leave now?”  
“Just a moment.” Rush concentrated on something and Eli gave up. He turned away to leave the ship when he saw a movement in the corner of his eye. Directly behind Rush. “Rush, watch out!”  
Eli didn’t think, he just reacted. It only needed two steps to reach Rush. All he wanted to do was drag him to the side, out of reach of the clawed hand but instead he got in between and was grabbed by the arm. Goosebumps went all over Eli’s body at the contact with the unfamiliar cool and rough skin. His gaze followed the claws up the arm to the face of the alien. Dull violet eyes starred at him and he froze.  
“Eli!” He could hear Rush next to him, feel him pulling at his shoulder. But the sensation vanished when a feeling like a dozen needles began spreading at the spot where the creature touched him. And in the next moment his eyes went blind.  
Innumerable images poured over him, accompanied by smells, sounds and feelings.

The alien ship, Destiny, the crew, a group of aliens, numbers, letters, Ancient, strange symbols, plants and animals he had never seen before, Earth and the sun, unknown star constellations, other aliens, the stargate, Sidus, a wonderful smell he couldn’t describe, his mother’s cookies…

It was too much, completely chaotic and it seemingly endless. He couldn’t process it. “Stop it, stop it, please,” he kept whispering over and over as he tried to free himself from the unremitting grasp of the creature.  
A loud bang echoed through his ears. Weapons fire, his overloaded brain told him just before an unbearable pain pierced through his chest. He groaned. Two more shots followed by even more pain. The pictures in his head increased, becoming even more chaotic.  
His senses were heavily overloaded and he could do only one thing to compensate.  
He screamed. 

oOo


	7. Among many 1/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eli and Rush's little adventure has consequences...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: A Happy New Year to everyone. I hope you're well and had a good start into the new year. 
> 
> Second: My beloved Master used her Christmas vacation to not only beta this chapter but also the last one. I already updated it. While Master will continue to erase my countless mistakes, real life might make her take weeks for the betareading. So, it would really help to have a second betareader. Because really, after I saw all the corrections she made I don't want to upload an unbetaed chapter again.
> 
> Third: THANK YOU to all those who commented, left kudos or subscribed. I really appreciate it.
> 
> And now... have fun with the new chapter. Comments are always welcome.

Strained silence accompanied them back to the gate. By now the sun was burning relentlessly down on them. Rush hardly registered the rising temperatures. Now and then he looked over to Eli, but the boy didn’t move in Marsden’s arms. Eli’s scream was still in Rush’s ears. When Eli had gone silent and fallen unconscious to the floor no one had moved for a couple of seconds. Lieutenant Scott finally had felt for Eli’s pulse and confirmed it with a relieved expression on his face. Rush had been just as relieved.  
He had wanted to further explore the ship, to find out more about the aliens, but he had followed Scott’s instructions without any more protest. The way back had seemed to go on forever and the descent into the canyon had been a challenge. Rush had followed the talk between Scott and Destiny only marginally. That Eli was unconscious, that Rush was in shock, that they needed help.  
Shock. No, he wasn’t in shock. He was just painfully aware that Eli’s situation was completely his fault and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it at the moment. Also, he couldn’t get the sounds of the dying alien and Eli’s scream out of his head. He felt stunned by it.  
A sharp pain in his left cheek brought him out of his trance abruptly and he blinked.  
“… bastard, damned son of a bitch. How could you let this happen? You said…” Chloe’s hand was still raised – which explained the pain – and she was furiously yelling at him. He just let it happen. It was better if she got rid of her anger now. “…you changed, but you didn’t at...“ The gate room was unusually full. The soldiers that had been on the planet for their rescue, had come back with them through the gate, which shut down behind him at that moment. Brody was at the control console, and Young stood beside him, a strangely tight expression on his face. TJ had gone over to Marsden and Eli. Chloe must have returned with her from the camp.  
“You are the…”  
“Miss Armstrong, that’s enough!” Obviously Colonel Young finally had decided to intervene but Chloe ignored him like Rush ignored her while he watched TJ examining Eli. Pupil reaction, pulse, breath… therefore he immediately noticed when Eli woke up.  
“Chloe,” Eli coughed. „Chloe, let it go.“ Chloe went abruptly silent and turned to Eli, who was trying to fend off TJ. “It wasn’t his fault. Also, I’m fine. Really.”  
„Don’t defend him,“ Chloe hissed.  
„I’ll only believe that after I’ve checked you through,“ TJ replied at the same time.  
Eli blinked a couple of times, rubbed his eyes and pointed over to Rush.  
“Having a heart attack beats embarrassing fainting.”  
“Don’t go there again. It’s been hours. I’m fine.“  
„I’ll get checked-up if you get checked-up.“  
“That’s childish.”  
“You’re childish.”  
“Enough. Both of you’ll get a check-up!” Young finally broke their skirmish. Rush thought about a reply. Slowly he started to feel like himself again, but he refrained from another discussion and just crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
“Airman, help Mister Wallace to the infirmary. Rush, you hopefully can get there by yourself. Greer and Scott, follow me. Everyone else, dismissed.”  
Eli grumbled quietly to himself but when he staggered while standing up he let Marsden support him without resistance. TJ, Chloe and Rush followed.  
He knew the infirmary far too well by now.

-o-

Young didn’t say a word on the way through the corridors but as soon as they had reached his quarters, he turned to Greer and Scott. “So, can someone explain to me how the situation on the planet could get out of control like this?”  
„I would like to know, too,“ Scott replied tiredly. He summarized how they had found Rush and Eli and gotten them out of the cave. How Rush had suddenly disappeared and Eli had followed to get him back. “We should have secured the ship before anything else but I listened to Rush instead of my instincts. That shouldn’t have happened. When I heard Eli scream I just reacted. But about everything else you’ll have to ask Eli and Doctor Rush.”  
“I will do that… and you’re sure, that there weren’t any other survivors?”  
“Fairly. If something else had survived, it surely would have helped the other one.”  
“But you can’t tell for sure. If we go back there, we should be prepared for everything, sir,” Greer added.  
Young nodded in agreement. “We will take care of that later. That’s it for now. Dismissed.“  
„Yes, sir.“  
As soon as Young was alone, he rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was already too long on his feet, but this wasn’t over yet. Before he could get some rest he needed to hear Eli and Rush’s side of the story. And he had to make sure that both idiots were okay. They really drove him crazy.

-o-

TJ sent Chloe away even though she protested and made both men tell her which incidents caused which injuries. She made her examinations conscientiously, ignoring every protest of her unwilling patients. Aside from exhaustion and dehydration she couldn’t find anything wrong with Rush.   
She ordered him twelve hours’ of bedrest under her watch to make sure that he got some rest, drank enough, and that there weren’t any lingering symptoms. Rush tried to object but TJ cut him off resolutely. “You’re allowed to use any means available if he tries to leave this room without my permission before the twelve hours are up,” she said to Marsden without hesitation. The man stood at the door and nodded far too eagerly. “Yes, ma’am.”  
From the corner of his eye Rush saw Eli grinning madly, but that vanished quickly when TJ turned to him. He had to let himself be examined, too.  
“How do you feel, Eli?” She asked, scanning his arm where the alien had held him. It was slightly reddened and would most likely turn purple soon.  
“Tired. This was a real adventure. I don’t think the alien wanted to hurt me… or even did hurt me at all. It was just the shock.”  
“Maybe. Let me decide that, Eli. Your temperature is increased.”  
“We were lying half naked and wet in a cave for hours. Did I mention the glowing crystals and the monster with the superpowers?”  
“Yes, you did. And you can tell me more about it later. You will stay the night, too. Get a good night’s rest.”  
“Okay.” TJ seemed to be as surprised about Eli’s consent without protest as Rush was. That was unusual.  
As soon as TJ was finished, Colonel Young appeared with a dark expression on his face in the infirmary. Rush prepared himself for a speech he probably deserved but didn’t want to hear anyway.  
“How are you both,” he asked, but looked at TJ.  
“They are exhausted. I’m keeping them here for observation.”  
“I would like to talk alone to Doctor Rush and Eli for a moment.”  
“Sure.” TJ took her things and went to her desk at the other end of the room.  
“Can one of you please tell me what the hell this was all about?” Young asked with a forced calm voice as soon as TJ was out of hearing range. He didn’t get an answer. After a short glance over to Eli, Rush could see that the boy was fumbling sheepishly at his cover. He didn’t plan on justifying himself. Most possibly it would only drag the speech into a long discussion he had no energy for left right now.  
“Does no one have to say anything about this?” He only got more silence. “I really don’t know what else to do with you. Is it really that hard to follow some simple rules? You can be as brilliant as you like and save our asses countless times, but if you endanger us with your recklessness I have to take measures. The problem is I don’t know what to do anymore. Shall I lock you up? Assign you a babysitter who watches you twenty-four seven? Tell me. Because this hast to stop now. We can’t afford to lose one of you, or any other crewmember who tries to save you.”  
“I’m sorry,” Eli mumbled in the direction of the cover and Young looked at him.  
“Really?”  
Eli nodded.  
“So act like it. I don’t want to lock you up because I know that it wouldn’t help you.“  
Eli nodded again.  
Young turned to Rush and looked expectantly at him.  
“What? I’m not sorry.”  
“That doesn’t surprise me. But after everything that’s happened you could have the decency to pretend to be. Endangering Eli like this. If you want to kill yourself, please, do so, but don’t drag others down with you.” The Colonel had gotten louder, but then he took a deep breath and calmed down. “As you are not interested in a vacation planet side, you are forbidden to use the gate for the time being. That includes if we decide to further investigate the caves and the alien ship you discovered. I want a full report about the events of today on my table by tomorrow, from each of you.”  
“You can’t do that. I have to get back to that ship,” Rush protested, balling his hands into fists.  
“Oh yes, I can.” With that Young left and didn’t engage in any further discussions.

Half an hour later Rush sat on his bed scribbling in his already rather thin notebook. From the corner of his eyes he watched Eli, who was rubbing his eyes and blinking, an expression of concentration on his face.  
“You should sleep if you are tired. Didn’t TJ give you something?”  
“Hm.” Eli lifted his hand to rub his eyes again, but dropped it half way. He turned his back on him and tugged the cover up to his ears.  
Rush sighed and laid the notebook aside. It was no use continuing if he couldn’t concentrate anyway. His own tiredness was getting to him, but a certain thought was trapped in his head. He looked around but no one was in hearing range. TJ had retreated to test the first samples from the planet and the soldier at the door of the infirmary was far enough away to not hear silent conversations.  
“Eli?”  
“Hm.”  
“Thank you.” He thought about adding something more but luckily that wasn’t necessary.  
“You’re welcome,” Eli replied. It was silent for a while before he added, “But I really wished you wouldn’t have seen those stupid records. You hopefully know that I wasn’t quite together then…”

oOo

// Eli leaned powerlessly against the glass of the stasis chamber. His face was pale, his cheeks reddened and his gaze glassy when he glanced into the camera. Sidus hovered nearby.  
Rush stood behind the glass, unchanged and motionless.  
“I bet there are many things you regret… things you wished you had done different, even if you never would admit it. You know you can’t change those things anymore. Logical thought. When I said I don’t regret anything it was the truth. After all, my life started when you beamed me out of that house. But I wished I could have done more for my mom, spent more time with her.  
I miss her.  
I really would like to know more about Gloria.  
What did she look like?  
What did she do?  
How did you meet her?  
Did you become like this because of her?  
Or were you always like this?  
…  
Mandy only says good things about you. Where did you hide them, Rush?  
Maybe some things would have been easier if you had shown us the nice Rush now and then, like you did when we talked the last time. I like the nice Rush…  
I miss Riley…  
Mandy is right. We’re all so clumsy. We misunderstand each other, hurt each other, get angry. Nobody is an exception. You and Young are the same way. You have similar goals, but your methods are so different that you collide again and again. If it wasn’t so dangerous it would be even funny. You would have high ratings on TV.  
But do you know what I think? You actually like Young. He does have his weaknesses as well as you but you admire him for his strength. You always protested, but he is a great leader like you’re a great scientist.  
Somehow you both are not good in communicating with each other. But sometimes it works and you’ve seen firsthand how great you can work together. I think together you can work this out… find a way back home and fulfill Destiny’s mission. Together with everyone else. You just have to keep on trying.  
And I… I actually like you, even the not so nice Rush, no matter what mean things you sometimes have said or done. I was angry and hurt and offended but I don’t hate you…  
I probably won’t have the chance anymore, but if someone has to save your ass again, just say an honest thank you for once. That would help… for a start…“ //

oOo

Eli stared at the ceiling of the infirmary. Obviously Rush next to him had fallen asleep. The man really needed it. Eli envied him for it because he couldn’t find any sleep himself, no matter how much he tried. TJ’s herbs had no effect anymore. To make matters worse he had a constant stream of flashbacks. Memories that couldn’t be his own flashed in front of his eyes and his sight blurred now and then as if his eyes were trying to focus on something. Sadly it didn’t matter if his eyes were opened or closed.  
He missed the calming sight of the crystals. They certainly would have helped him to fall asleep, but he knew that this was only wishful thinking. Even if he would be able to fall asleep, fending off the dreams and sleeping through the night was a whole other problem. He knew for sure what would help him. Frustrated, he closed his eyes, but opened them again immediately, when strange pictures flashed before them. He glanced at the clock, again. Just before eleven. Only two minutes had passed since the last glance.  
“Dammit.” Cursing quietly, he stood, careful not to wake Rush, and went to the door. Reynolds had replaced Marsden and now blocked his way.  
“You’re not allowed to leave the infirmary, Eli. TJ’s order.”  
“I know, I was there. But I’m sure that she meant Doctor Rush. For me it was ‘not without supervision’. So, you’re my watchdog. And to ease your mind: I only want to go see Colonel Young. I won’t go near any computers and sabotage the ship, okay?”  
Reynolds hesitated visibly, took a short glance at Rush and finally nodded. “All right.”  
“Thank you.” Eli smiled tiredly and walked ahead. After only a couple of steps he realized what a stupid idea this had been but with Reynolds behind him he couldn’t just turn around or go somewhere else. Besides, what choices did he have left when even TJ’s herbs didn’t help anymore. He didn’t want to ask her for something stronger. He wanted to sleep, not be in a coma.  
His thoughts distracted him from the changing colors in front of eyes. Sometimes the corridor seemed covered in blue; other times in red or green before it went back to the normal shadows of the night lights. He ignored the aliens that appeared and vanished like wafts of mist as much as possible. It hadn’t taken long to realize that they were not real as no one else seemed to see them, though he couldn’t quite suppress a slight flinch now and then when they surprised him. Reynolds luckily either didn’t see it or had decided to not comment on it.  
Eli’s resolution vanished like his hallucinations when they arrived at the colonel’s quarters. To be honest, he would prefer looking like an idiot in front of Reynolds than Young. To keep up appearances he would knock at least once, really quietly. Then he could say honestly that he had tried and he could go back to the infirmary without looking like an idiot. Most likely the colonel was already asleep and wouldn’t open anyway.  
The sound of the knock echoed uncomfortably in his ears. He counted to five, slowly, then he turned to leave, a phrase for Reynolds already on his lips. He jumped when the door actually opened.  
“Eli? What are you doing here?“  
Eli stared at the colonel with tired eyes and needed a moment to remember the reason he was actually here. He had prepared a couple of explanations as far as his tired brain had cooperated, but he had forgotten all of them. He took a short glance at Reynolds and finally only managed, “Can I come in?” Even in his own ears his voice sounded feeble. Hastily he averted his eyes.  
“You should already be asleep. Didn’t TJ give you something?”  
“Doesn’t work anymore.” An oppressive silence built and Eli didn’t dare look at the man. God, what had he been thinking? „Uhm, forget about it. It can wait until tomorrow. Sorry for disturbing you so late.“ And with this he turned away.  
“Eli!”  
The young man looked back in surprise.  
“Airman, is Doctor Rush asleep?”  
“Yes, sir. At least it looked like it when we left the infirmary.”  
“All right. Report to TJ and tell her Eli is with me. Dismissed.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
Reynolds gave Eli an irritated look, then he saluted and went away.  
Young stepped aside and gestured for Eli to come in. He only hesitated a small moment before he followed the silent prompt. All embarrassment was forgotten with the prospect of the desired sleep. But then he stood clueless in the middle of the room while Young closed the door behind him. The next moment he wished he would have gone back to the infirmary with Reynolds.  
“Is this going to become a habit? Do you want to come here every other night like a child that’s hiding from a thunderstorm in the bed of his parents and then act like nothing happened?”  
Eli didn’t dare say anything.  
“You know I can’t let that happen. Why are you even coming to me? There are so many others aboard.”  
“Shall I go?” Eli asked meekly, avoiding a direct answer on purpose. He really felt like a stupid little boy right now. An unpleasant feeling. But he didn’t see Young as a father figure. Scott might-- quite certainly so, but he was a whole other story.  
“Don’t talk nonsense. Lie down and get some rest. But this is the last time. Tomorrow morning we’ll go talk to TJ and find another solution.”  
Eli nodded and crawled into bed where he stayed at the edge all tensed up.  
He could feel movement behind him, the light went off and in the next moment he felt a hand on his neck which made him flinch. Again. “Are you sure that you’ll be able to sleep like that?”  
Eli bit his bottom lip, took a deep breath and slowly turned onto his back. Staring at the ceiling started to suck. The warm hand didn’t vanish.  
“Considering that you don’t want me here, this seems to be easiest for you.”  
“Infirmary?”  
“Emotional blackmail?”  
“Sleep!”  
Eli smiled happily at the blue and red streaks covered ceiling. The last twenty four hours had been a total mess again and he wasn’t sure about the long term consequences of the alien contact and the hallucinations but now that he was lying here it all seemed surreal and far away. The conversations with Rush, the panic, the pain. He closed his eyes and felt free; like he was floating, detached from his body, which was pressing heavily into the mattress and soaking up the warmth of Young’s hand.

He dreamed about the alien that had touched him, about a strange world and unknown creatures. It wasn’t frightening anymore but more like a distant memory that woke a comfortable longing in him. He could name the things he saw, knew what they were made of and what they were used for. It was like he had lived it himself. He moved amongst them, with them, totally synchronous. Everyone knew exactly what to do, words weren’t necessary. The Lita did that for him. They communicated his joy about being chosen for this expedition, too. He knew the risks of this journey but he had been wishing to know more about the Kore for so long that he wasn’t afraid. It had been big news when they had discovered the Kore on the red moon. A proof of somebody out there with technology far ahead of them. Someone they might be able to communicate with.  
There had been voices against the mission, voices suspecting militant aliens. That is why the exploration team had only consisted of him and two of his closest friends. Nobody would ever know what they had experienced and seen because of the one small, stupid mistake that had caused this horrible crash. His friends had died instantly but he had survived. The Lita had fought, kept him alive, but they couldn’t repair the damage that had been done.  
He hadn’t wished to die, not without sharing his knowledge like it had been done for generations. Not without showing his people what he had seen. If they didn’t return, the whole mission would be seen as a failure and those who had been against it would be right. That mustn’t happen.  
The days on the foreign planet had gone by without him dying and without him being able to live. Darkness had taken turns with light, cold with heat while he couldn’t do more than wait for the Lita to give up.  
But that didn’t happen. Instead the rain came and after the rain came the sounds. Alien beings. He could hear them, feel their presence.  
He didn’t want to die. Maybe they could help him, maybe he could at least save his knowledge for his people with their help. He had to communicate with them. The Lita had to speak for him. If only one of them would come near enough the Lita could show them everything he had ever seen. He just had to hurry.  
His arm barely obeyed him but this was his last chance. The Lita hadn’t been programmed for this and with this kind of long-term stress they would soon run out of energy. That couldn’t be allowed to happen.  
The contact with the alien was unfamiliar but there was no time to analyze it. He had to send the Lita and hope it would work.  
He hardly could believe he actually managed a link. Never before had one of his people managed this kind of connection with an alien being.  
A sudden pain went through him in the middle of the transmission. No, this couldn’t happen. He didn’t mean any harm. He just wanted to communicate. He couldn’t control anymore what information the Lita sent or received. Chaos and pain was everything he felt before the darkness got to him.

He opened his eyes and one of the aliens lay next to him. It was so close and completely still, which gave him the opportunity to study it undisturbed. Pale skin composed of tiny cells that formed hypnotizing patterns of lines and planes. At the intersections grew fur so fine and scarce at some places it could hardly have any purpose, while in other places it grew thick. The being was breathing slowly and evenly, not hasty like those two other specimens he had seen before. Besides this one had black fur.  
Was it regenerating?  
How old was it?  
How old did those beings get after all?  
If he was really careful he even might get closer. All those details were too fascinating. There - that had to be the mouth - were traces of a dark fur so short it barely breached skin. And only slightly below that the skin was rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Red cells formed a strange pattern at that spot. Was that normal?  
He hesitated but lay his hand carefully where the rhythm was. It was a fascinating feeling similar to his own pulsing core. And though he was sure he was doing this for the first time, he got the feeling he already had been in this situation before. But why?  
The rhythm picked up speed. The being opened its eyes and moved its mouth but the sounds didn’t make any sense. Suddenly he found himself on his back, the alien dangerously close above him, holding him in place. It frightened him. “I mean no harm. Don’t hurt me. I mean no harm,“ he repeated again and again even though without the Lita communication seemed impossible.

“Eli? Eli! Wake up!“  
Eli blinked and slowly registered his surroundings. He felt weak and sweaty and he remembered everything. “God, no,” he whispered and froze.  
“Eli?”  
“Yeah, it’s me.”  
“What was that all about?”  
Eli shook his head and pressed his lips together. He didn’t know, didn’t want to know what this meant.  
“Can I let go now?”  
Suddenly, Eli was well aware of the colonel above and on top of him. “Yes, I’m no threat, I mean no harm. Please,” he repeated the meaning of the alien’s words.  
The hard grip on his wrists loosened slowly and the weight on his legs vanished. As soon as Young had gotten a little distance between them Eli jumped out of the bed and tried to retread but his legs gave way under him and he fell to the floor. Everything was spinning in his head.  
“Eli!”  
“Ouch. I’m fine, sorry.“ But he didn’t dare to move and just stayed where he was. Besides, the metal floor was comfortably cool on his hot cheeks.  
“Enough now! What did you keep from us?“ The colonel sounded angry. Eli didn’t like that.  
“…”  
“What?”  
“I have hallucinations… flashbacks. I can see the aliens… as if I got the memories from the one Matt shot.”  
“Since when?”  
“Since I woke in the gate room…” Eli hesitated for a moment but then continued. It didn’t make a difference anymore. “Even before I lost consciousness on the planet. I could feel how Matt shot him, the pain and how he died. All he wanted was to communicate with the help of the Lita. He didn’t mean any harm. He really did mean no harm,” Eli whispered at the end and coiled up on the floor. He was so hot. It reminded him of Sidus and the thought was somehow calming.

oOo


	8. Among many 2/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ makes an alarming discovery while Eli fiends a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2015-04-10 The Chapter is now betaed.  
> Again, if any of you wants to support me with some betaing while my first beta is so busy, I would be forever grateful.

Carefully, TJ put a small amount of Eli’s blood sample onto a glass substrate and put it under the microscope. Then she focused it until she could see the cells clearly. She had expected a lot of things: after all, they learned new things every day out here. But what she saw hit her unprepared.  
“Did you find something?” Everett asked next to her, and TJ nodded. Wordlessly, she stepped aside and let him take a look through the ocular, not sure if she had been mistaken. But Everett confirmed her fear. “Nanites?”  
“That’s what I thought. At least, it looks mechanical. I’ve only read reports about them and I don’t know what their purpose in particular is, but Eli’s body is fighting them like a virus, therefore, the fever.”  
“How did he get infected?”  
“When I took the blood sample I took a closer look at Eli’s arm again. It had tiny puncture marks. I assume that’s how the alien infected Eli. Rush’s sample didn’t show any peculiarities. I can also take samples from everyone who was on the planet and in contact with Eli since, to be sure, but my guess is it’s only transmitted through blood.”  
“At least that’s one piece of good news.” Contrary to his words, Everett did not sound relieved. He stepped aside and left the place for TJ. “What does that mean for Eli at the moment?”  
“Nothing good,” Rush said, standing in the doorway. His twelve hours were over and he hadn’t stayed one second longer than necessary in that bed. He seemed serious. “The SG-teams have come into contact with nanites from different sources many times over the years, and it always meant trouble.”  
“Primarily, their purpose isn’t Eli’s problem. The question is how long can his body withstand the strain. If we don’t get the nanites out, his immune system will keep on fighting them, and he can’t keep this up forever. I can give him something against the fever, but that’s only a short-term solution.”  
After Rush had taken a look at the sample, TJ made some notes and packed it away securely.  
“We’re going to need help from Earth. There are some specialists who have been dealing with nanite technology for a while now,” Rush added.  
“I will arrange that. Meanwhile, I want Eli to stay in the infirmary under observation, and he’s not to go anywhere without supervision. No access to any of the ship’s systems. I don’t want any more surprises, whether it be anybody else getting infected or Eli doing something that could harm everyone.”  
“Is this a possibility?“ TJ asked.  
“When Eli woke he definitely wasn’t himself. He says he can see the memories of the alien as if they were his own but it wasn’t only that. It looked more like something else had taken control. So yes, the risk is given as we know nothing about the nanites or their former host so far.”  
“I’ll talk about it with Eli later. Maybe his impressions can help me in my search for a treatment. Will you notify the crew about this new situation?”  
“There is no way around it. With Eli permanently in the infirmary or at least under watch the rumors will spread faster than I would like.”  
“I’ll go through the database and the archive for something helpful about nanites. Maybe the Ancients had already experimented with them when Destiny was built. Chances are that the descendants from the last galaxy did some research in this direction.” Rush turned away and vanished as suddenly as he had appeared.  
“One could nearly think he feels guilty,” TJ announced on the sudden exit.  
“That would be the least of it. If it hadn’t been for Eli he would be the one now lying in that bed by his own fault. Hopefully we find a solution.”  
“Hopefully.“ TJ smiled confidently, even though she wasn’t sure about it. All she could do at the moment was work as scrupulously as possible. So she got a fresh needle and stepped up to Everett. “You’re next.”  
Everett rolled up his sleeve without protest and stretched out his arm for TJ.  
“So, are you going to tell me what this is supposed to mean?” she asked while the needle breached the skin and the cannula slowly filled with blood.  
“What?” Everett looked at her in confusion.  
“You know exactly what I mean. Eli. Why was he in your quarters in the middle of the night when he had orders to stay in the infirmary? And it wasn’t even the first time-“  
“But the last.” Everett sighed and straightened his sleeve after TJ was finished. “He still has problems sleeping and he didn’t want to ask you for anything stronger. The problem is also more of a mental nature. He doesn’t want to be alone. I don’t know why he is so fixated on me but obviously he’s able to mostly sleep through the night when he is with me. There is nothing more about it. I’m just a sleeping aid for him. And before the whole situation went south again I told him that this would be the last time and that we need to find another solution.”  
“Really? That’s all?” She looked skeptically at Everett. He didn’t seem to be aware of just how much Eli was attached to him. It wasn’t exactly obvious, but she had eyes and knew the signs. She just never had expected Eli to…  
“Tamara, let it go. We really have other issues right now.”  
TJ did not like it when Everett shut her out like this but she had no right to insist on an answer. Their relationship had been complicated from the beginning, her naivety had made her blind. Before she could say something else Camille entered.  
“Colonel, I really have to talk to you.”  
“One moment Camille.” Everett looked expectantly at TJ so she turned to the microscope with the sample. It didn’t take long to get a clear picture. “Looks inconspicuous, but if you get any symptoms…”  
“I know, then I’ll come to you. Scott will make you a list of all crew members you have to test.”  
“All right.”  
“Colonel, what is going on?” Camille demanded to know.  
Finally Everett turned to the woman. “Let’s talk in my quarters in peace.”  
TJ watched both of them as they left the laboratory and then turned back to her work. With the blood samples and the analysis of more plants, she was facing a long day.

o

Camille followed Young through the corridors and even though she had dozens of questions on her tongue she kept silent. He did not seem to be willing to have the conversation he owed her right here. She still was mad at him for getting her out of stasis as one of the last even though she understood why he had done it. Her not having any special knowledge or abilities to contribute to the crew had not changed. Even Chloe was more useful than her by now, though she was paying a high price for it.  
Nonetheless, she did not want to be useless. That was why it was so important for her to be up to date. Sadly, she had the feeling that she had missed a couple of things again.  
Her visit on Earth had not helped her mood either. Between the updates on how things had been on Earth while they had been in stasis, she had asked about Sharon, but had not visited her. The fear that there was no place for her in her life anymore had outweighed the wish to see her and take her in her arms. And even if she could have worked up the courage, they could hardly continue where they had left off two years earlier.  
When they arrived at the colonel’s quarters she focused. He would not be able to avoid her anymore. No more excuses. This time she would persist until she had all her answers.

oOo

Varro returned to camp with a dozen prey animals. He had been out again alone to control the traps they had set in the morning and to explore more of the vicinity. As long as they stayed there it was good to stock their meat supplies. Especially if the small rodents could be captured this easily. The day on the planet had been long, at least in comparison to their first night here, which had only lasted a couple of hours and gone by without incident. After the long time on the ship he enjoyed the fresh air and movement through and through. Most of the others would go back aboard for the night but he would come back and take turns with the soldiers that were placed to watch the camp.  
Becker welcomed him back with the words, “We should leave soon.”  
“Yes. The sun is getting low and I would like to return to camp before dusk. Everyone ready?”  
Chloe came out of one of the smaller tents a box of fruits in her hands. She had returned to camp in the morning without Tamara and had told everyone that Doctor Rush and Eli were back on Destiny. The news about their disappearance had caused agitation and concern.  
All the other scientists had already gathered. They also carried different kinds of food and plants they had collected during the day and had assessed as edible or useable in any other way.  
On the way to the gate, Varro got the feeling that they were being watched. He looked around, but could not find anything. It was strange because normally he could rely on his senses. While the gate dialed he kept an eye on their surroundings. On the way back he would definitely take a closer look again.

o

Varro had barely stepped through the gate with the rest of the planet crew when he parted ways with the group and vanished into the corridor leading to the bridge. Nobody noticed him, which was no wonder as the Varro of this universe stood in the middle of the gate room involved in a conversation. Also, the camouflage technology of the Xanten worked flawlessly as long as he kept an eye on the time limit of the energy cells.   
Even though this was not the first Destiny he had visited, it was always strange to see how similar and yet different the events in the different universes had influenced the crew and the ship. It was rare to find his other self present. At least, it had the advantage that he would not be seen as the enemy if he blew his cover.  
Getting the information he needed was not the problem. Staying unnoticed the whole time was. They already had run into trouble a couple of times but they had always gotten off lightly. The mission was too important to give up, and until now they had not been able to find an easier method to get the needed data.  
Eli always said they should just explain their situation and ask politely, but that already had gone completely wrong the first time, so “in and out invisibly” was still the most effective way.  
Aside from Volker, the bridge was empty, making it easier for him. The scientist was absorbed in his work and was no real danger anyway.  
Varro kept an eye on the man while he went to one of the consoles on the other site of the room and put a flash drive into the port. Eli had programmed the flash drive to automatically start a search for the data from the seed ships, to analyze them for certain parameters, and copy the results. Whether they would jump to the next universe in a couple of hours or stay here for a while longer would depend on these results.  
Despite everything, Varro watched the bar slowly climb to a hundred percent slightly nervously. This half hour always seemed endless because if someone were to look more closely and notice something he would be forced to react.  
The search finally finished and Varro put the drive back into his pocket. Just in time, because when he left the bridge Brody came around the corner. A look at the timer of the energy cells told him that he had only a couple of minutes left, although he had a second task this time. He desperately needed some medicine. Their supply had run out days ago and of all things now Eli had managed to get injured.  
Luck was on his side. There were only three people in the infirmary. The watch at the door was mainly focused on the corridor. TJ was busy at the microscope and did not register her surroundings. At the far side of the room stood a rumbled bed, but it was empty. Instead he could see a heap of covers and pillows on the floor from where a pair of brown eyes was staring into the empty room. Sadly, Varro knew this look. It meant Eli was in trouble again.  
Silently, he walked past them and browsed through TJ’s supplies. The space in his suit pockets was limited. The labeling of the small bottles made it easier for him to find the right things. When he was done he sneaked back into the main room. He had no time left to find another hideout. In a couple of seconds he would be visible again.  
It was easy for him to decide how he would spend the next couple of hours. Still soundless, Varro stepped over to Eli and squatted down in front of him. He was covered from sight by the bed just in time, because in the next moment the camouflage mod of his suit shut down to recharge. Even advanced technology had its quirks, especially when it has been refitted with an inefficient energy source to adapt it to human physiology.   
With a fluent motion he pulled the cloth from his face and the hood from his head. They made sure he was completely invisible. His Eli had enthusiastically called it a ninja outfit at the beginning.   
This Eli blinked in confusion when he suddenly appeared out of nowhere.  
“Hello Eli. You don’t look good.”  
“You shouldn’t be here.”  
“Why?”  
“Because of the Lita… nanites.”  
Varro faltered and swallowed dryly. In all variations he knew so far, the infection with the Lita had always befallen Doctor Rush or Lieutenant Scott, never Eli. He had gone through enough as it is. To conceal his hesitation Varro smiled lightly. “Don’t worry. I know that the Lita aren’t contagious. Can I keep you company for a while?“  
Again, Eli blinked, confused. The expression had carved a deep wrinkle between his eyebrows. Finally he nodded.  
“Good.” Varro leaned against the wall a few inches away from Eli. In that position, he no longer had a clear view of the room, but he was likewise covered from view. And if someone was to come, he would always hear them.  
“What happened?”  
“Doesn’t the whole ship already know?” Eli turned to him.  
“Hm, possibly. But I’d like to hear it from you. Or do you have better plans?“  
“No, actually.” Eli sighed, rubbed his reddened eyes, and pushed back his covers a little so his ruffled hair appeared. “I was on a planet with Rush and there was a crashed alien ship. Rush wanted to explore it even though we had to get back to the gate. The pilots seemed to be dead, and it reeked of decay. But one of the pilots wasn’t dead after all and when he reached for Rush I got between them.”  
“Rush,” Varro hissed. This man really made nothing but trouble. This side of the story he was already familiar with. “It was rash but brave to go between.”  
Eli made a grimace. “More like absolutely stupid. Look at me. I can hardly think straight. The Lita are in my body and my head, and I can’t control them. Before, I didn’t even recognize the colonel and talked to him in an alien language. I hardly can distinguish between hallucination and reality… not even sure that you’re real,” Eli added hesitantly. The doubt was written all over his face. “Though, I don’t know why I should have a hallucination of you of all people.”  
Varro pulled off one of his gloves that belonged to the suit, and pinched the back of Eli’s free hand. “See, real. Or are you able to feel your hallucinations, too?“  
Eli watched all of this skeptically and then looked at his hand as if seeing it for the first time. Then he blinked rapidly. He seemed to do that a lot. When reality and hallucinations overlapped it was hard to focus on one thing.  
„Since when do you have burn marks there?“  
„Since my first encounter with Sidus. It was a bit unlucky.” Carefully, he put the glove back on.  
“But Sidus would never do something like this. I taught him that contact is bad.”  
“Yes, you did.” Varro looked at the burn marks on Eli’s arm. With all the errors the crew made along its way, this Eli seemed to have gotten most of the injuries from them. Was there no one to protect him in this universe? Was there no balance?  
“That doesn’t make sense,” Eli stated, pushing his covers a little more away. Obviously he was warm.  
“I know.”  
Eli looked at him in concentration and finally slid away from him. He did not get far as he had trapped himself effectively between wall and bed. “Something’s wrong with you. It’s not just the scars… what kind of clothes are you wearing?”  
Varro smiled. “See, your mind works just fine, just a bit slower.” The decision of how much he would tell this Eli had been made the same moment he had decided to show himself to him. “I’m not the Varro of this world. I’m from a parallel universe.”  
Various expressions crossed Eli’s face: doubt, disbelief, confusion. Finally he pulled up his covers tighter again and said: “Don’t screw with me!”  
“I’m not.”  
“Prove it,” Eli demanded, which made Varro sigh. The best proof was to stand next to the Varro of this universe, but that was not an option right now.  
Before he could express an explanation, the sound of steps approached. “Damn it,” Varro swore quietly, activating the camouflage mod even though the energy would only last for a couple of minutes. It was one thing to show himself to Eli. The boy was like a constant drawing through every universe. His presence on Destiny was always a good sign and had so far always helped him. But TJ was unpredictable. One time she had kissed him rapturously under the dark looks of his Eli, the other time she had pointed a gun at him and gave him away without the blink of an eye.  
“Eli? Are you okay?”  
“Don’t tell on me,” Varro whispered, while Eli stared disbelievingly at him, or at least at the spot where he sat, but invisible now.  
“Everything’s fine, just like the last dozen times you asked.”  
“Who are you talking to?” TJ walked around the bed and looked worriedly at Eli.  
“To myself. Can’t one loose his mind without being interrupted all the time?” he asked grumpily.  
“Eli.” TJ looked helpless.  
“Really TJ,” Eli continued resignedly. “Nothing has changed and you can’t help me at the moment. Surely you have other things to do. I’ll tell you when I need something, or feel the urge to do something stupid, again.”  
She hesitated, but then nodded and went away. Not a second too early, because in the next moment Varro became visible again. “That was close.”  
„How did you do that?“ Eli whispered, leaning a little closer.  
This was the Eli Varro knew. It was a relief to see the curious glint flicker in the tired brown eyes.  
“The suit. A… gift from our allies. We had to refit it a little for our purposes but it works. Somehow.”  
“Cool.”  
“Yes, that’s what my Eli always says, too.”  
Eli looked at him confused. “Your Eli?”  
“The Eli from my universe,” Varro explained, even though it was only half the truth.  
Luckily, Eli was satisfied with it and concentrated on other questions again. “How did you come here? Why are you here? I mean, in this universe and in the infirmary.“  
The excitement obviously made it hard for him to keep his voice down. “Sssshhh.” Varro put a finger to his lips. „Try to stay quiet. My little trick won’t work again so soon.“  
„Okay.“ Eli grinned, then his look became absent for a moment. He seemed to be watching something only he could see.   
“Hey, stay with me.” Varro lightly flipped against his upper arm and got his attention back.  
“Oh, sorry.”  
“No problem,” Varro replied. Then he started to answer Eli’s questions. To talk to the boy was always a nice pastime, no matter in which universe. “We made some modifications to the gates and now we use them to travel between universes and times. Don’t ask me how. Eli understands it better and he has panic attacks on a regular basis because he knows what can go wrong. There also is no guarantee that we can go back, but if we don’t find what we are searching for, it won’t matter.”  
“’We’? Who else is traveling with you?”  
“Only Eli, but he isn’t with me aboard the ship. I’m only here to copy the data from the seed ships. We need it for our search. As soon as the suit is recharged I’ll go back to him.”  
“What are you looking for? Sounds important. Maybe I can…” Eli stopped. “Maybe one of the others can help you. I’m not allowed near the systems.”  
“It’s okay. I have what I need. You only have to concentrate on getting well again. Believe me, you’ll be better soon.”  
“Yes? How can you be so sure?”  
“Because you’re still here.”  
Eli just looked hat him confused again.  
“Tell me Eli, between this galaxy and the last, who was awake with you?”  
“With me? No one. I was alone.“  
“Do you know how many variations of you I have met that were alone and are still sane? None. Every Eli, that was alone is either dead or insane. All variations that had managed to get this far had some kind of company. And I mean human, not Sidus. You might see it differently right now, but you are the strongest of those I have met until now.”  
“Did one of these variations tell you, by any chance, how I can get rid of the nanites?”  
“They didn’t have to. We had a situation with the Lita, too.”  
“The Eli from your universe?”  
“No, Lieutenant Scott. With his help we were able to save the wounded Aza’an. The home planet of the Aza’an isn’t on the route of Destiny, but as soon as we had the coordinates it was no problem finding a way through the gates. There is a gate on a moon that orbits their homeplanet that they travel to. This way we found allies, and they had no problem getting the Lita out of the Lieutenant without harm.”  
“Ironically, Matt was the one who shot the alien while he tried to communicate with me. I doubt they’ll help me.”  
“Maybe. But without the coordinates you won’t find out. There are other ways that work. I don’t know if you’ll still meet the Aza’an now. After all, it’s not planned in this universe.”  
“It’s a shame. Their world seems really cool.” Eli closed his eyes and Varro could at least partly imagine what he saw, as he had been one of the men who had accompanied the lieutenant and the saved Aza’an to the red moon.  
They stayed silent. Varro looked at the charging display. The current charge was not enough to hide in the gate room and wait for a chance to return to the planet. The system was really annoying. Essentially, the energy output of the small cells was endless, but unfortunately, the rapid consumption of all suit functions was too high for the low output. The original source had not had this problem but the radiation it had produced would have killed them by now. Like this, the time limit was a compromise they had to deal with.  
Because staring at it did not expedite the process he went to watch Eli instead. Obviously he had drifted off again because his gaze was focused on an empty spot in the room. This time he did not get him out of his thoughts but enjoyed the silence. It was strange. He was quite aware of the fact that this was not his Eli, that they were completely different people. It had been often enough that he did not feel right or nothing at all in the company of Eli variations, but this one was different. Maybe it was because this one had no protection,  
\-- had not found his hold yet.  
A concentrated expression appeared on Eli’s face. Varro knew this expression. It was only one of many he had learned to read. But Eli was not hard to read after all. Even if he tried, it was hard for him to hide his feelings. He was especially bad at lying. But that made Eli’s company so pleasant: after all the years of lies and intrigues with the Alliance, Eli’s openness and honesty was refreshing.  
Carefully, Varro laid a hand on Eli’s shoulder, who flinched and looked at him questioningly. But Varro kept silent and did not move otherwise. Eli finally seemed to understand the gesture for what it was: an anchor to reality. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall without trying to shake off the hand. Varro followed his lead but stayed alert and analyzed the sounds from the room so that he could react in time. Time passed slowly. He hoped his own Eli was doing fine.

oOo

Ronald Greer leaned bored against the banister of the great stairs and watched Corporal Barnes, who was standing at the stargate’s control console. Aside from them, only Henderson and Marks were in the room. A small team was on one of the other planets to take a look around while it was night on the planet where they were camped. The different day-night-rhythms between Destiny and the planets were irritating.  
They were on standby in case one of their teams needed backup.  
Ron was no friend of standing around and waiting, but after the events of the past couple of weeks most of them needed a little break. He hardly had finished the thought when the gate lit up in an unscheduled activation. Immediately, every muscle in Ron’s body tensed up. He saw the others take up their stance from the corner of his eye, even though it probably was only the exploration team making their report.  
But the radio stayed silent. Instead, a black-clad figure stepped through the gate, arms raised, followed by Varro, who had an obviously full backpack in one hand, and his weapon in the other, aimed at the stranger. It seemed human at first glance.  
Automatically, Ron aimed his weapon at the stranger, too, while stepping closer.  
“Who is this?” he asked.  
“He was sneaking around camp in the dawn. Wouldn’t say a word, definitely not one of the men from the camp,” Varro replied as he put the backpack aside.  
“Show your face,” Ron demanded, but he did not get a reaction. The wannabe-ninja did not move a muscle. “I will not repeat myself.” The stranger did not give an inch. Ron got even closer to pull the fabric from his face but the stranger drew back. He had a slight limp, and he did not get far as Varro’s weapon was pressing into his back. So, Ron finally managed to grasp the fabric and pull it aside.  
Eli was staring at him darkly, a hard expression in his eyes that he had never seen before in the Mathboy. The scar that drew from his eyebrow to his cheek right across the left eye was new, too.  
“Eli?” For a moment nobody moved.  
“Could you please drop your weapons? I don’t like to be aimed at and I’m unarmed.” The voice sounded strange and Ron had the feeling that something was off. He gave a silent sign. They dropped their weapons, but only halfway, ready to aim and shoot at any second.  
“What’s this costume supposed to mean? And what were you doing on the planet?”  
Eli did not answer anymore so Ron finally took his radio. “Colonel Young, please come in.”

O

Young moved the fingers of his right hand and stood, while Sanders cleaned his communication stone. The shift between bodies was still strange, but slowly becoming a routine. The short look into the mirror was a reflex by now. An optical confirmation that he was connected to his own senses again. Next to him, Doctor McKay took a moment longer to get used to the different body. After everything had gone south with Eli and Rush again, and after Camille had demanded her answers persistently, he had not wanted to go to Earth and give his report. But to get the help they needed, a certain amount of honesty and cooperation was necessary. So, the everlasting power struggle was still in progress.  
McKay was an astrophysicist and hardly the nanite specialist he had in mind for their help, but the man already had experience with the little machines and at the incident at Langara he had proved his competence. He had been present at homeworld command because of another matter and had offered to at least give a first evaluation until a specialist was on site.  
Young reported back to Scott via radio and, together with McKay, made his way to the infirmary. His gut churned uncomfortably when they found Eli not in his bed but completely spaced out in a heap of covers on the floor.  
“Eli?” It took a moment, then the boy blinked tiredly. He glanced to the side and touched his shoulder in confusion before he looked back at them. “Hm? Sorry, I dozed off a little.“  
„That’s okay. You remember Doctor McKay?“  
Eli looked at McKay and nodded, even though you could hardly tell who had switched with Corporal Bara. “Hey there, bad timing. We can’t continue our discussion at the moment.”  
“Which…? Ah, yes, no, don’t bother, another time maybe. First, I’ll take a look at what you caught. You said something about blood samples, Colonel?“ McKay redirected.  
“Over here.” TJ stood at the passage to her working station and gestured vaguely behind herself. McKay followed the gesture without another comment. Young had met the man only a few times so far and was hardly able to judge him, but it seemed as if he was uncomfortable with the situation. As far as he had heard and seen, the scientist was not much of a social person. Like Rush, just different. So, nothing new.  
“Do you need something, Eli?” Young turned back to Eli, and Eli actually took a minute to think about it. “Water,” he finally replied, licking his dry lips. Unsure, he came to his feet. “Starting to get uncomfortable down there,” he mumbled to himself and sank onto the bed. Young gave him the water bottle from the table. „Thank you.“ Eli drank a couple of gulps and gave it back. Afterwards he scooted up the bed until he could lean against the wall. “So, how was it on Earth?”   
„Like always.“  
„Endless useless meetings?“  
A small smile flashed over Young’s lips. „You could say that. But they’re getting a specialist. Then we’ll know more.”  
“Don’t worry. I’ll get better again.”  
Young paused. Those were supposed to be his words, not Eli’s. „Did something change while I was gone?” he asked warily, because last time he had seen Eli he had not seemed this optimistic. Eli shook his head with a noticeable hesitation.  
He did not get to examine this further as his radio crackled and Greer’s voice sounded. “Colonel Young, please come in.”  
“What is it, sergeant?”  
“You did forbid Eli gate traveling, right?”  
“Yes, I did.”  
“Varro just found him on the planet. But something isn’t right.”  
Young thought for a moment he had heard wrong. That something was not right confirmed Eli’s expression for him. The brown eyes suddenly went wide, understanding replacing the clouded gaze, and Young immediately knew that he had missed something vital.  
“Where are you?”  
“Gateroom,” Greer answered shortly.  
“Good, nobody moves. I’m coming down.” Young put the radio away and looked at Eli. “You know something, don’t you?”  
Eli pressed his lips together until they were hardly more than a thin line, then he nodded hesitantly.  
“Can you walk?”  
He stood, arms held slightly to the side for balance. A nod again.   
“TJ,” Young called out and the young woman came around the corner immediately. “We have to get to the gateroom. You too, Doctor McKay.”  
Young felt like they took forever, even though Eli, supported by TJ, was not that slow. When they reached the gateroom, strained silence reigned. Everyone was staring at the figure completely dressed in black in front of the gate. He looked like Eli, but there were differences: the scar across the left eye, the slightly shorter hair, the expression in the eyes, the slightly muscular build apparent under the fabric of the suit. This was not the appearance of a Mathboy and couchpotato anymore, but that of a fighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope it was at least decently readable.  
> Just some things I wanted to say.  
> 1\. I'm still learning new things everyday and even started a course about nanotechnology. I know, that you can't see nano scale on a light microscope, so lets asume that the microscope aboard (either human or Ancient) has the right technology for this.  
> 2\. Yeah, Multiverse Varro and Eli XD I loved that idea and I hope it's okay with you. Actually, both of them are another story I want to tell at some point. For now they are just visitors.  
> 3\. The suit Varro uses is actually based on a 'bending light'-principle contrary to the 'switching phases' technology we know from SG1... just so you know


	9. Among many 3/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Master Of All Imagination again for the beta. You are great... and I'm sorry I seem to forget most of the things I learn from you with every new chapter. I just take too long between them -.-

The room was filled with tense silence that was only broken by their arrival. The gazes of everyone drifted back and forth between both Elis. A multitude of voices became audible.

„Time traveling again?” Greer asked loudly, probably voicing the thoughts of most of the people present.  
“No,” both Elis answered simultaneously.  
“Parallel universe would be my guess,” McKay interjected. “That would explain the major visual differences. It’s really strange to meet a version of oneself, isn’t it? So, on Atlantis…”  
“Rodney, is that you?” The different Eli interrupted the growing monologue and took a thoughtless step in Rodney’s direction. He flinched when he strained his leg as suddenly half a dozen weapons were aimed at him again. “Uh, it’s okay, don’t be so jumpy.” He waved his hands in surrender and stumbled backwards.

“Colonel, the weapons are really not necessary.” Eli backed his twin. He stepped away from TJ and closer to the different Eli before someone could stop him.  
“You look horrible,” the different Eli stated straight out, and Eli shrugged.  
“Probably. I avoid mirrors at the moment. But you look pretty messed up, too.“  
„The usual scratches. You aren’t surprised to see me?“  
„Your companion told me a couple of things but he didn’t tell me that you…” Eli did not know how to word it.  
“That I’m so different?“ Eli nodded while his twin already continued. „So, he‘s still here?“  
It was the first time since they entered the room that Eli could see a hint of uncertainty in the face that looked so similar to his own. It eased him somewhat. The situation was already bizarre enough. A perfect version of himself would have been too weird.

Before, when Colonel Young and McKay had appeared at the infirmary, the different Varro had already been gone, and Eli had thought for a while that he had just imagined their talk. But now he was sure, that it had been real, as well as he was sure that the man had followed them here. Eli took a short look around the room.

“Now that the attention is on you anyway, it might be better to show yourself, too,” he said to the room. The crew gave him confused looks.  
“Eli? What is going on?” Colonel Young asked, but before Eli could answer, the different Varro appeared right in front of his partner, so that he stood between him and most of the weapons.  
“Didn’t I tell you to stay hidden until I returned?” he asked over his shoulder, keeping the rest of the room in sight.  
“But I did. Only this Varro is at least as much of a bloodhound as you are, and as soon as he had my track it was only a question of time till my energy cells went empty,” his partner defended.

Ninja-Varro threw his counterpart a short look and then turned to Young. The colonel’s stern face hardly gave away anything, but Eli could imagine his confusion. After all, there was no precedent for the current situation.

„Colonel Young. I want to apologize for the confusion. That was not our intention. Like Doctor McKay correctly assumed, we are from a parallel universe and just are passing through. All that we need is the information about this galaxy that the seed ships have been sending to Destiny, and some medicine. If my twin hadn’t caught Eli, we would have been gone without you ever noticing anything. We neither want to make any trouble nor interfere with your business.”

Eli pondered how often Varro already had the chance to use these words and how often they had actually achieved their desired effect.  
“That sounds all well and nice, but you are aware that I don’t have the luxury of merely trusting your words. Eli, step back,” Young ordered, moving closer.  
“But they really don’t mean any harm,” Eli objected.  
„It’s okay, Eli. Go to them,“ Ninja-Varro said with a smile. Eli followed the order reluctantly.  
“Colonel…”  
“Eli, I understand that you want to trust them, but at the moment you are really not in a position to give an objective assessment,” Young interrupted.  
“Fine, as you like.” Eli crossed his arms before his chest. He didn’t like suddenly being treated like a child again. Just because he had some hallucinations and doubted a parallel universe version of himself could do any harm didn’t mean he couldn’t be objective anymore.

Young took the radio from his belt. "Rush, do you read?" The answer took some time. Eli could imagine how Rush - interrupted in his work - threw dark unnerved looks at the radio, considering whether or not to answer. "This is Rush, what is it?"  
"Can you find out if data from the seed ships has been copied in the last couple of hours and if so, what exactly?"  
"Sure. What for?"  
"Just do it and report back." Young had kept an eye on their visitors throughout their exchange and now turned to the different-Eli. "You are injured?"  
Eli nodded hesitantly.  
"TJ, could you take a look at it? Sit down." Young gestured in the direction of the great stairs and Eli walked over slowly. When he sat down on the stairs and took the weight from his leg, his relief was visible. Ninja-Varro followed him like a shadow.

"And everyone who is not on duty here can go now. The show is over," Young said to all the other personnel present, indicating the doors.  
Obviously reluctant, the crew members followed the order. Meanwhile TJ took her emergency backpack from her shoulders, knelt before the different-Eli and looked more closely at his leg. When she pulled the fabric of his pants aside, a blotched bandage became visible.  
"When did you last change this?"  
"Never?" Eli replied sheepishly. TJ sighed.

In the background, Rush's voice sounded over the radio. "You were right Colonel. Someone copied some data. It's all analyses about specific planetary compositions."  
"Has anything been uploaded into our systems?"  
"No, there is no trace of that."  
"Thank you."  
"What's happening?"  
"Later." Young forestalled any more questions by putting the radio away again.

Shortly after, Eli noticed a kino hovering in one of the doorways, unobtrusively coming closer. He would have made any bet that Rush was watching them. But Eli did not let himself be distracted for long. He turned his attention back to their visitors, and TJ, who was unwrapping the dirty fabric slowly. At the end she even had to pull a little to loosen it from the wound. Ninja-Eli hissed quietly through clenched teeth and Eli could imagine how nasty it felt.

A four-inch-long gash went across Eli's calf. It was not deep but the edges looked unhealthily reddened and moist. "How did this happen?" Young asked.  
"Muddy slope and sharp edged stones about two days ago. We washed it out and put the last bit of an antibacterial ointment on it but it looks like it wasn’t enough."  
"Obviously," TJ stated and turned around. "Colonel, this has to be cleaned and treated, but luckily I think I have everything with me." She rummaged through her backpack and got a flask of water and fresh bandages out. By now it was routine for her to clean the wound carefully and treat it.  
Meanwhile Young continued their conversation.

"So, what exactly are you looking for in our world?"  
"That's complicated," Eli answered curtly.  
"Uncomplicate it for me. This probably isn’t the first time you had to explain yourself."  
"True too," Eli admitted. "So, first you should know that some things happened differently than they happened here. There is no point in explaining all the context and reasons in every last detail. Eventually, we came into contact with a couple of new alien races in this galaxy. One of them proved to be highly technologically advanced and helpful in the hopes that we would help them with one of their own problems. They are infected with a serious disease and are about to die one by one without a cure. It was spreading inexorably among their population.  
When we weren't able to help them as they had hoped, a radical faction of them attacked us. We were able to fight them off, but not before they infected a great number of our people. The disease seems to work different on humans, but it’s still ultimately deadly. We put all the infected into stasis to buy us time, but now we have no other choice than to actively seek out a cure.

TJ finished cleaning the wound and Varro wordlessly gave her the powder he must have taken from her rack.  
She took it and read the label. "You wanted to use this for that?" she asked skeptical.  
"I know you wrote something else on it, but this plant works wonders on wounds like this. If you still have any samples left, you should try to cultivate them."  
"Oh, okay."

They waited until TJ had applied and fastened the new bandage. "Go easy on it for a couple of days. I'll give you some of the herbs and fresh bandages to change, then it should heal nicely."  
"Thanks TJ, you're the best." Eli gave her a grateful smile, and TJ returned it.

"You were about to explain why you are here," Young reminded.  
“Right, sorry. Where was I? Ah yes, the administration of this race condemns the actions of those radicals. They promised us every technical support we would need to reach our goal, and we had no other choice than to take it.  
There was an antiviral agent that would have helped, but the animal from which it originated and possibly the disease itself came from a planet that has been destroyed in a war between our allies and another race. Because a synthetic production isn't possible yet and we couldn't find any other natural source, we compiled every knowledge and technology we could find and finally decided to continue our search in the parallel universes. However, everywhere we have been until now, the planet has been either destroyed, too, or the animal with the agent has not evolved."

Eli looked over to Varro, who nodded curtly.  
"I can show you, if you let me. We have to check the data anyways. There is a tablet in my backpack..."  
On a sign from Young, Greer opened it and got out the device. Meanwhile Varro pulled the stick from his pocket. Eli started the tablet, put in the stick and held the device so that everyone could see the display. He made some entries and the next moment diagrams and rows of numbers appeared.

Eli knew that Young probably would not be able to understand any of it, but McKay nodded slightly.

After a short silence Eli sighed in resignation and hit the step he was sitting on in frustration. "Damn it, nothing again. We are hunting a ghost."  
Varro lay a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "We'll find the right one."  
"Really? How many have we already visited? We are running out of time! What is if the planet we are looking for is in an alternative that's so far from us that there are just no gates?" Varro did not answer.  
"Is there no other way?" Young asked. Eli shook his head. "Everything we tried has failed. Our people are still looking for other ways, but finding this planet is our only option at the moment. We have to leave. There is no use in staying any longer."

After thinking about it for a moment Young gave his consent and Greer returned the different Eli’s backpack. Eli stuffed the tablet back in with a bit too much force, causing a couple of things to fall out. A black cylindrical container with foreign signs caught Greer’s attention.  
Curious, Greer ran a finger along the slightly raised signs and accidentally triggered a mechanism. Ninja-Eli’s surprised “Don’t!” came too late. The container opened, and chaos broke loose. A yellow light sphere appeared from the container and buzzed in a zigzag through the room. The weapons that had been aimed at Eli and Varro before were now following the chaotic movement.

“Don’t shoot!” Eli shouted when he recognized the familiar light. A short series of piercing whistles sounded. The light sphere changed its direction in the middle of its movement and came to an abrupt halt in front of the different Eli. He extended his hand and the light came to rest on it.  
“Sidus? What is he doing here? Why can you touch him?” Eli forgot everything else for a moment. The joy of seeing Sidus again was unexpectedly great.  
“In our world aliens captured many of Sidus’s kind to use their energy. The mechanism is quite impressive but because of Sidus we couldn’t let that happen any longer. Rush blew up his home sun in a fight against those aliens. He stayed with me and the special material of this suit dampens his radiation, so I can handle it for a while. I guess, your Sidus is back home?”  
Eli nodded and stepped closer.  
“Eli,” Young warned. Even though he had allowed them to leave he did not seem to really trust them.  
“To hell with it. If they wanted to do us any harm, they would’ve already done it, and with all this technology no one could have stopped them.” Eli came close enough to feel the warm light. It was as calming as he remembered. Again, the different Eli whistled some tunes and Sidus lifted from his hand to come towards Eli. He stayed at a safe distance and took the shape of a boy Eli did not know. The glow outshone the hallucinations. It seemed to dissolve them like sunbeams would dissolve fog in the morning.

“For a short time, his radiation disrupts the frequencies on which the Lita communicate, but it doesn’t take long before they adjust,” the different Eli explained as if he had read Eli’s thoughts.  
“Oh.”  
“We should really go now. I would’ve loved to talk to you for a while longer, but we don’t have the luxury to stay in every parallel world for this long. I’m afraid we’ve lingered longer than we like.”  
“You should work on your tactic. At some point this method will go wrong and you won’t get off this easily,” Young warned.  
“Hopefully we’ll achieve our goal before that happens,” Eli replied.

He turned to Varro and helped him to repack the backpack. Lastly, he took the container and held it in Sidus’s direction. “Come on my friend, you know it’s safer in here.” Sidus waved, dissolved his shape and let himself be captured by Eli. Eli looked over to his counterpart. “I’m sure you miss him, but believe me, it’s better for him and for you that he is back with his kind. Being with us was his choice, but it’s not freedom.”

“Corporal Barnes, could you dial the camp planet? We’ll continue our way from there,” Varro asked. The woman gave Young a questioning look, and when he gave permission she dialed the right address and activated the gate.  
Eli secured Sidus in the backpack and pulled it over his shoulder before he went to his twin and extended his hand to him. Eli took it hesitantly. The hallucinations were back. „Take care. You still have a long way to go and it won’t get easier.“ He looked into his eyes while saying this and Eli could feel something between their hands. A folded piece of paper. When they let go Eli put it into the pocket of his pants as inconspicuously as possible. Then he turned to Varro. “Thank you for your company,“ he said quietly and Varro nodded. “Anytime.” But he did not seem to think much of a distanced good bye. Without preamble he took Eli by the arm with his right hand, pulled him close and hugged him with the left. “Ask me to teach you how to fight. Even if you don’t need it, the reflexes and the strength will help you eventually,” he whispered close to Eli’s ear and he let go of him as fast as he had grabbed him. Eli nodded, baffled.

When they both were ready to step through the gate Greer held them back. “Just one question.”  
“Yes?” Eli turned to him.  
“Why you two of all people?”  
“We were lucky and were among those who didn’t get infected. Rush is fine, too, and he keeps Destiny together. A couple of the others are still trying to find a cure on the planets of the galaxy. Because of my knowledge I was the only logical choice in our group.” He interlaced his hand with Varro’s. “And he is my shadow. He keeps me alive.” With a big grin on his face he saluted sloppily and let himself be pulled through the event horizon. Shortly after, the gate shut down and left a silent group.  
Eli’s face turned red like a tomato. After everything Varro had told him, he had guessed something like this, somehow, but this had been a bit too obvious. He wished for a black hole, but all that was left for him was a tactical retreat to the infirmary. 

It took a while for everything to calm down again, but when he sat on his bed and was alone again, he got the small note from his pocket. ‘Aza’an’ was written on it in his own hand, and when he unfolded the paper a number of gate addresses appeared. It looked like his twin was prepared to give a little help here and there despite the announcement to not interfere.

oOo

"You're unusually... restrained."  
McKay startled from his thoughts and looked questioningly at Tamara. She was leaning against a table full of plant samples with crossed arms, and had obviously been watching him for some time now. That was disturbing. He shook his head. "I'm concentrating." Not that it was actually necessary. He could look another dozen times at the nanites and the datastream he had gotten from them, but he would not come to another conclusion. What they had found out so far was sobering. An electromagnetic pulse would be the easiest way to shut them down, but unfortunately that would endanger Eli. Also, the nanites would only shut down; getting them out of Eli’s body was a whole other problem that he could not come up with any solution for it. 

More tests of the nanites had shown that they had established a kind of connection with living alien cells. Their presence most likely was the reason for the immune reaction.

McKay had been staring at the datastream for hours now, but he had no clue what it meant. Just uploading a new program like he had done with Elizabeth years ago was not an option here because he did not understand the coding. He had no reference for a translation. That frustrated him.

"Actually I was talking about your flirting," Tamara explained outright. "You never miss a chance to hit on anything female."  
McKay rubbed his eyes tiredly. That was what she was talking about. Of course. There was no sense in trying to deny it. "You were sleeping for a while and..." He left the sentence unfinished with a disregarding gesture. He was not here to discuss his current relation status but to solve a problem.

After the observation that the radiation was damping Eli's hallucinations, they had done some experimentation with different frequencies, but after finally finding the right one it really had only worked a very short time.  
The expert in nanotechnologies from Earth had not been any help either. He had been there to get a picture of the situation and then gone back to Earth to see if they could come up with any workable solution. Meanwhile, McKay’s temporary visit to help had already turned into a three-day stay. 

And after all their effort, they were no step farther, and that bugged him.

o

Eli was bored. Because many crewmembers were on the planet the ship was quite empty. And those who had stayed aboard had more important things to do than to keep him company. Also, most of them avoided him even though he had by now explained that he was not contagious as long as there was no exchange of bodily fluids. Eli looked disgusted by the thought.

Johns, who had assumed the post as his watch, was neither useful for conversations nor for playing chess. The calculations Rush had given him, had been finished a while ago. Young also had not been for a visit in two days-- after all, he had more than enough to do-- but that was not the main reason. Trips to Young’s quarters were no longer an option. Not only because that had already been the plan before this whole mess, but also because two days ago they had had a huge fight about Eli going into stasis if his condition were to deteriorate and a cure could not be found in time. Eli was completely against it.

Meanwhile, Eli had reread the note with the addresses countless times, but it did not get him anywhere. The colonel would never let him go, neither alone nor in company. Of that Eli was sure. Having the solution in front of his eyes and not being able to do anything was really frustrating. After the unsuccessful frequency testing, he had already given up the hope that someone would come running into the infirmary claiming the possibility of a cure. A number of really bright people were trying to help him, foremost being McKay, who obviously was doing it for the challenge not for Eli. In the end, the motivation did not matter, because the results stayed the same. They did not get anywhere.

“Where are you going?” Johns asked when Eli stood up abruptly and wanted to leave the infirmary. “Observation deck. I have to move.” Johns nodded and followed him silently. Even though the corridors were empty they were not alone. The Aza’an haunted Eli without change as if they wanted to lure him. Eli would have loved to give in. He could not think of anything else anymore other than going through the gate. But there were two main obstacles that he could not ignore: he would have to get rid of his watch long enough to get to the gate room, and then he would have to get through the gate unnoticed. Both seemed to be impossible in his condition and without access to the systems. He needed help.

o

„Rush, are you there?“  
Rush was startled from his thoughts when he heard Eli’s voice and took the radio. “What is it Eli?”  
„Would you have a couple of minutes to meet me on the observation deck?”  
“Eli, I’m working on something…”  
“Important. I know you always are. Could you still take a break for a couple of minutes? It really won’t take long.”  
“Can’t you tell me now what this is about?”  
“No.”  
“Eli.”  
“Come on. You have to be nice to me. I saved your ass. Twice.”  
Rush rubbed his eyes, annoyed. “How often are you going to remind me of that now?”  
“Depends.”  
“On what?”  
“How soon you come down here and help me.”

Rush stared at the display of the console in front of him on which a searching algorithm was working through the ancient database very slowly. It would still take a while and would work without his presence. The dynamic duo was doing just fine without him, too.  
“Okay, five minutes.”  
“Great. See you, then!“

„I don’t believe it,“ Rush cursed quietly to himself, but stood up and went on his way. This would be an exception. He surely would not let himself be blackmailed by Eli permanently. After all, he had saved his ass a couple of times, too. This was not kindergarten where they counted points and weighed them against each other.

Aside from Eli, who was sitting on one of the benches, and a soldier, who was standing near the door, nobody was on the observation deck when Rush arrived there. With crossed arms he stood next to Eli. “So, what is it?” he asked gruffly.  
„Sit down.“  
„Eli!“  
„Just sit down. Please.“ Conspicuously inconspicuous Eli squinted over to the watch who was looking in their direction. Was he paranoid now? With growing impatience Rush played along. „So, what is it?“ he asked again.  
„You have to help me get off the ship,“ Eli replied with a lowered voice.  
Rush stayed silent for a moment, not sure he had heard right. Eli looked at him expectantly. “Why should I do that?”

Eli rummaged in his pockets and showed him the crinkled piece of paper. Rush unfolded it. “What’s this supposed to be?”  
“The way to my cure. Aza’an is the name of the aliens I got the nanites from and these addresses are the way to their planet.”  
“Where did you get this list from?”  
“From my twin. We are not the only ones who met this alien but theirs survived and undid the damage he had caused.”  
“How do you know that they will do this in this universe too? We killed one of them.”  
“I’m aware of that. And there is no guarantee that they will help me but I just have to try. At the moment, I feel fine, but the hallucinations are getting stronger. It’s like I have two lives, and I won’t wait for it to drive me crazy. If I even live that long and my body doesn’t burn out and turn my inner organs into mush while trying to fight them. If we were on Earth we could surely come up with a solution, but here, with the technology we have at hand, we are out of options. I don’t want to die if the solution is this easy. And I will not go into stasis!”  
“You call that easy?”  
“You know what I mean,” Eli replied impatiently. He nervously rubbed his forearms. 

Rush knew Eli was right about that. But he did not have to like it. “So, this is the favor you claim for saving me?”  
Eli stared out into space. “As if I really would do that. Out here we depend on each other and I know that you saved my ass, too.” Eli took a deep breath and then looked directly at Rush. “I don’t want this, but I don’t know who else I could ask. With everyone else I run the risk of not only getting a no for an answer but also of being exposed. I can’t do this alone. Maybe I could get rid of my shadow but I would never make it to a planet without access to the systems.”  
“Do you know what you’re asking of me?”  
“You mean the part where you deceive everyone else and do exactly what you are not supposed to do? Where you act against Young’s orders? That’s nothing new for you.”  
“No Eli! I mean the part where I send you into death, which I definitely will not do because you are one of the few intelligent people on this ship.”  
“You like me.”  
“Yes, I like you,” Rush replied without hesitation and Eli’s shocked face was worth waiting a moment for before he continued. “At least from a scientific point of view. Fact is I will not help you kill yourself.”  
“I’m dying if I stay here!” Eli had become louder unintentionally and took a quick look over to the soldier. When Rush looked in his direction, too, he could see obvious distrust growing.

Rush stood up and leaned against the railing in front of the panorama window. In fact he had already decided to help Eli. Not because of any guilty feelings. Not as a favor. Maybe because he wanted to know more about these aliens. But foremost because he knew Eli was right. They could not find a solution or else McKay would have already come up with a string of new ideas. They lacked means, time and knowledge for that.

“So, if I were to help you, what would be the plan?”

o

Eli had barely stepped into the mess and he could already feel the looks of the others. One would think that they had gotten used to the situation after the last couple of days, but obviously that was not the case. They were still whispering blatantly and some of them even actively avoiding him. Eli tried to ignore it, but he was not unaffected by it. TJ would have brought him his food to the infirmary, but he did not want to spend his last hours in isolation. So he got himself a portion of unidentifiable vegetables from Becker, who was grinning at him reassuringly, and then looked around searching for a seat. He had already decided which table to take when he had stepped through the door.

Unasked, he took a seat opposite Colonel Young. The man had been sitting alone up until now and seemed to have been deep in thought.  
“Colonel,” Eli greeted curtly and examined his food critically, a habit most of them still had.  
“Eli, shouldn’t you be in the infirmary?” Young asked.  
“I thought my watch wanted to stare at another wall for a change,” Eli replied. Said watch stood close to the door and watched him. Between all the other looks it was hardly noticeable anymore.

“Also, I was hoping to find you here. I wanted to talk to you.” It only was half the truth. He knew the colonel would be here because TJ had told him so.  
“Okay. What about?”  
Eli tried some of the orange vegetables and decided that it was not half bad measured by everything they had been served over the years. “I wanted to apologize,” he said to the vegetable.  
“That…” Young started but Eli interrupted him. He only looked up shortly before he continued to study his bowl.  
“Let me finish. Recent events haven’t been easy for any of us, but I was unnecessarily exhausting. And by that I mean my behavior on Earth as well as what I did here. My position hasn’t changed. I don’t want to go into stasis, not after everything that has happened, but I shouldn’t have had expressed it so extremely. That was childish and I’m sorry for it.”  
“The last time someone threw a bowl of mystery food at me was years ago. My little niece has always been somewhat spirited.”  
Eli went red when Young’s words conjured the scene quite vividly in his memory. The discussion about the option of stasis had gotten out of hand and he had stopped thinking, just grabbing what had been closest.  
“Apology accepted,” Young said, and stood up. He stepped next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “The topic of stasis isn’t off the table but we’ll avoid it as long as possible, alright?”  
Eli nodded but did not dare to look up.  
“Colonel?”  
“Yes?”  
“No matter what’s going to happen it’s not Rush’s fault.  
“You don’t have to protect him.”  
“I mean it, Colonel, it’s not his fault.” Eli emphasized every single word and lifted his gaze for a moment to look Young straight in the eyes. Young returned the look and withdrew his hand. “Alright. Eat up and go get some sleep. You have to keep your strength.”  
“I will.”  
“Good night.”  
“Good night.” Eli kept his eyes on his bowl until he was sure Young had left the room. Only then did he dare to take a deep breath. He felt bad about not saying anything. Would Young ever forgive him?  
Listlessly Eli poked his vegetables. He had lost his appetite but he finished his bowl anyway because this could be his last meal for a long time. He got some juice from Becker, something blue and sweet from a fruit they had found on the planet, and went back to the infirmary.

o

Rush looked at his watch. The part of the plan Eli could do by himself had started half an hour ago. He had gotten some strong sleeping pills from TJ and put them in the watch’s juice. After they had nothing but water to drink for months it did not take much to bring the soldier to drink the far too-sweet stuff. According to Eli the drug should be working by now.

Rush looked over to Volker, who had gotten the nightshift again. He was not in on the plan and as soon as he noticed something he surely would raise the alarm. But at the moment Volker was busy reading in the ancient database, keeping an eye on the ship’s monitors.

With a short command he switched his monitor to receiving data from a kino that was placed in the infirmary. The watch near the door started to stagger, leaning against the wall before slowly sinking to the ground. Shortly after that Eli came into view. He took a nervous look around and then dragged the soldier in a corner. Rush followed every movement via kino. Eli took the soldier’s radio just to be sure, and went on his way to the gate room, getting a backpack Rush had prepared from a hide-out along the way.

They had chosen the calmest hour aboard on purpose and placed kinos everywhere along the route to avoid possible obstacles when the time came. But no one was there. Ther were only the two soldiers on duty in the gate room left to be dealt with. To get them out of the room they had come up with a distraction.

When Eli arrived at the gate room he stayed behind one of the closed doors and nodded once in the direction of the kino. The sign he was ready.  
Rush had built a little smoke-bomb. It would do no harm but it would surely get the soldier’s attention.

Rush hesitated. This would have consequences for him, for Eli, maybe for everyone else, but he had promised Eli. He would do this. He activated the smoke in the corridor farthest away from Eli’s position.  
At this point there was only one indefinite variable, but the men played right into their hands. They both followed the smoke and left the gate unattended. Rush closed all doors behind them and only opened Eli’s access. He walked directly to the control console and dialed the gate. Every second counted.

On one monitor Rush watched how the wormhole established while he could see on another one that the soldiers were radioing for backup. But on the bridge it stayed silent as Rush hat turned off his radio and Volker was not carrying one. He had blocked the ship’s internal communications, too.

/Are you sure?/ Rush texted to the remote Eli had in his hands, and the young man looked at the kino as if he was looking directly at Rush. He nodded curtly and typed something too.  
/There is no turning back now. Don’t wait for me. As long as you follow the route I’ll find you./ Even while Rush read the few sentences, Eli had turned away and gone through the gate. It closed behind him and Rush opened all doors to the room again. Then he turned back to his research. He wanted to get some things done before the inevitable storm would came.

o

Eli stared at the four addresses shown on the display of the remote. One of them was the last one on the list of a dozen planets. There was definitely a more direct way between this gate and the current position of Destiny but without a spacesuit a detour over planets with breathable air had been necessary. The list had already considered that.

He could still go back. They could keep on experimenting, hoping to find a solution somehow. He could even think about stasis no matter how reluctant he felt about the thought. But no matter what, he would be in trouble for his escape. How that sounded. Escape. As if he was a prisoner. But in the end he was. For the protection of the others and for his own protection.

But if he went back now he would miss an important puzzle piece. The other Varro and Eli had not explained what the Aza’an had to offer besides his cure, but he believed that it was important. And it was not only for that. After everything the Lita had shown him he wanted to see this world with his own eyes. By now he also understood why the hallucinations of the Lita were that strong. After the death of the Aza’an they had only one purpose left. They had to pass the knowledge of their original host to his family and friends and Eli was their only chance to accomplish this. As naïve as it might be, he hoped that this knowledge would be enough in exchange for his life.

He had already told Rush there was no guarantee for the cure, but he had not mentioned that was not the only person he was endangering. Worst case was that he gave the Aza’an a free way to Destiny by bringing the remote and his own knowledge to them, therefor endangering the whole crew. He thought about leaving the remote behind, but with that he would lose any chance of ever returning to Destiny. He was not ready to give that up. He had not chosen this way to die alone out here.

He dialed the address and packed the remote away. He would not backtrack now. The decision had been made when Rush had agreed to help him.  
The gate lit up, the event horizon was shimmering as always, neutral to everything that was and would come.

He took a last look back into the darkness of the deserted planet, then he stepped through the gate.

o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear reader,  
> I could come up with at least a dozen excuses for taking so long-- and they would all be valid-- but the truth is I'm just always so slow... and it might get worse the next couple of months as my life is going to turn upside down: new city, new job, new apartment... 'starts to panic'
> 
> But still I wanted to thank everyone on ao3 and ffnet who left kudos and comments, added me to their alerts or follows the story. I might not be able to answer every comment, but I'm grateful for every sign showing me that you're out there, reading my story. It makes writing and translating this worth it.
> 
> There was one review on ffnet for the last chapter from a guest I couldn't answer directly so I'll do it here:  
> The guest wrote: Great chap and can our Eli go with varou and the other Eli and please no gay pairing it's a little disturbing and can you do a Gin/Eli pairing  
> 1\. is answered with this chapter  
> 2\. nopp, sorry dude  
> 3\. never going to happen
> 
> I didn't quite manage to get the warning right on ffnet but for everyone who hasn't noticed yet: this is going to be SLASH even if I'm going to keep it slow and easy.
> 
> So, enough talk.  
> Any thoughts about this chapter?  
> Leave me a comment  
> Love  
> split


	10. Standstill 1/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely sorry that it took so long. You can find out about the reasons for those long months of silence from me on my new facebook site: Split words. You're welcome to take a look and leave a comment.  
> A big thank you to my beloved beta reader, who had so much work with the text this time because I forgot half my English since last summer ^^°  
> Also a big thank you for all the kudos and favs, comments and adding to follower alerts... this keeps me going and made taking so long even harder. I hope to be a little faster in the future, though no promises.  
> And now: have fun with the new chapter!

Lieutenant Mathew Scott looked around carefully. The planet seemed deceptively calm and peaceful. There had been too many unpleasant surprises for them here already, and Matt could not even relax halfway. Even after they had removed the bodies of the alien crew from the ship and buried them, the ship still felt a bit fishy to him. And it was not the only source of danger. There was the possibility of Eli leading the reptile-like creatures directly to this place, intentionally or not, even though the probability sank with every passing day. Matt had no desire to get into a fight with a race as dangerous-seeming as them.

Three days had already passed since Eli went away and so far there was no sign of him or any aliens. First the events occurred thick and fast, like everything usually happened on their journey, and then a kind of grief had spread on the ship, as if Colonel Young had already announced Eli’s death. Even though no one said it out loud, everyone seemed to sense that Eli would not be able to survive alone out there. Only a miracle would help now, and they had already used too many of them on their journey.

After everything Matt had heard, he himself was not sure what to believe, but he had not yet lost hope. They could only pray for Eli and had to trust him. Like Rush did obviously for once.

O

Matt followed Colonel Young as he stomped through the hallways of Destiny. Originally he had been on the way to the observation deck because he had not been able to find sleep and did not want to wake Chloe with his restlessness. But before he could reach his destination, he had heard the radio messages from the guards in the gate room and gone to investigate. There he had met Young and as soon as it had become clear that there was no imminent danger, Young had signaled him to follow him, quietly cursing a certain scientist.

When they reached the bridge, Rush looked up only briefly and then continued working undisturbed while Volker jumped in alarm.  
“Colonel! Is there something wrong?” he asked frantically. Young’s expression spoke volumes.  
“Why is no one answering the radio here, and what happened to the internal ship communication?” he asked threateningly calmly.  
“I … uhm …” Volker stammered and looked around in confusion. He wasn’t carrying a radio, but Rush had one of them clearly visible lying next to him.  
“Oh, that. Communication must be down because of the diagnostic I’m currently running. I didn’t think anyone would need it at this hour of night. And the radio’s battery must be empty again, happens all the time lately. Why? Did something happen?”

Young went over to him. He pushed the burned out smoke bomb that they had found near the gate room into Rush’s hand and took the radio instead. Matt watched Young’s movements. The device had just been switched off. “Stop playing games. This is from you, isn’t it? Nobody else aboard would dare to do something like this. What are you planning now?”  
Rush’s silence showed clearly that Young had hit the mark. Matt had learned as much so far.

“Colonel Young, do you read?” TJ interrupted their conversation via radio before it could really start. Young ignored it and waited for an answer from Rush that did not come.  
“Colonel Young,” TJ repeated urgently, and Young finally reacted.  
“Young here, can it wait, TJ?”  
“Eli has disappeared, and I found Airman Rennie unconscious in the infirmary. I can’t wake him. So no, it can’t wait.”  
“What the hell … Take care of Rennie. I will order a search for Eli.“  
“That would be a waste of time,” Rush threw in unperturbed.  
Young threw Rush a piercing look, which made Rush finally explain the whole situation.

“Eli is already off the ship by now. He put TJ’s sleeping pills into his guard’s juice and used the distraction to go through the gate.” Rush took the smoke bomb – the converted hull of a former kino – and threw it in the air a few times to catch it again. “This was just the distraction so he could get away unhindered …”  
Young did not let Rush finish. Angry, he grabbed him by the jacket with both hands and brought their faces close together. The smoke bomb landed on the floor with a clank.

“You knew about this?”  
“Let go,” Rush replied calmly. He seemed intent on not responding to Young’s anger. A dangerous tactic, because often it made the colonel only more angry, but this time it took the wind out of his sails. He took a few deep breaths, released the fabric and took a step back. Rush smoothed out his jacket before he finally answered. “Of course I knew. Alone he wouldn’t have managed it this fast. Who do you think disabled the doors?“  
„What the hell is wrong with you?” asked Young. He looked as if he would attack Rush again any second now.  
“Haven’t you understood it yet? Or have you forgotten again? Eli is not like you or me, one of your soldiers or the other scientists aboard. With all his brilliance, he is still a boy. He acts from gut feeling and with his heart. Most of the times he’s rash and doesn’t think through all the consequences, but when he sees a solution he’ll stick to it. We can’t heal him. The creators of the nanites can. He knows the way to them. That’s his solution. If I hadn’t helped him, he would’ve found another way. It’s better this way. He is more useful to us healthy.”  
This time Young hit him so fast even Matt didn’t see the movement.  
“Colonel!” Matt shouted. He wanted to interfere. He would have loved to hit Rush himself, but they had already learned the hard way that this was the wrong path. Luckily, Young left it at that one hit. Matt hated to go against his superior.

Rush had stumbled a couple of steps backwards before he could recover. He touched the injured corner of his mouth and looked at the small trail of blood on his fingertip. When he looked up again, the surprise on his face had been replaced by his typical neutral mask. “It’s okay. I guess, I had the wrong word choice. Listen, I know that this is not about anybody’s usefulness. Like everybody else aboard, I want Eli to get well again. Do you really think I would’ve let this happen, if I had known another way?”

“That doesn’t matter. This decision was not yours to make,“ Young replied. He stared angrily at Rush, then he turned to Matt. “Lieutenant, assemble a team. Get Eli back.”  
“That is a waste of time,” Rush repeated and stepped back behind the console. Probably to get a safe distance between himself and Young. Matt was not sure, but his words sounded resigned.  
“You might be able to find out which planet he had dialed from here, but that’s it. Contrary to the gates of Milky Way and Pegasus Galaxy, the gates from the seed ships are simplified and don’t have a data storage. That’s regulated with the remotes. There is no way of finding out, which way Eli went. He is the only one who knows and by now he will have put about a dozen planets behind him and reached his destination.”

“Where did he get those addresses in the first place?” Matt asked. Next to him, Volker just listened silently to the conversation. Matt got the feeling that the man would have loved to vanish, and he could sympathize with that.

“From the other Eli. He didn’t seem to have much trust in our ability to find a solution, either. Eli thought you would never allow him to choose this way and I share his assessment. Don’t think that it was easy for me to let him go. He is the last one who should be out there alone and unarmed, but you should have a little faith in him.”  
“Faith, huh? We will see how much is left of that when he doesn’t return and you have to tell his mother that you send him into his death.”  
“You’re giving up on him that easily?” Rush replied without hesitation.

Matt did not have to be a mind reader to see Young’s predicament. There was hardly anything left to put Rush under pressure with. Now all the cards had been played, as far as Matt could tell. Even putting Rush under arrest was not an option for Young because they needed him. Now that Eli was gone, even more so. If Young were to punish him it would fall back on him and the crew as soon as they met their next problem. These everlasting power games were tiring, even just from watching them, and they got them nowhere. Rush and Young were just too different in their ways and opinions to find an agreement that would last longer than a couple of hours.

“Colonel?” Matt asked, unsure of what to do now.  
“Wake up Brody. He should take a look at the gates. I want a second opinion.” He threw Rush a dark look that made clear that the trust thing between them did not work at all. “And tell everyone … “ He took a look at his watch. It was still in the middle of the night. “They are to meet in the gate room at 0800, everyone from the planet, too. I’m going to make an announcement.”  
“Yes, sir.”

O

Brody had confirmed Rush’s statement after an extensive check, damning them to do nothing. Doctor McKay had returned immediately to Earth, taking the bad news with him. Meanwhile, there were more than enough things on Destiny and the planets that needed their attention. 

Despite the danger that the aliens could appear, Young had finally allowed a team of scientists to make a trip to the crashed ship to get as much information as possible and to bring samples back aboard. 

Matt rubbed over his sweaty face and glanced to the ship, where some scientists were examining every last detail and taking notes. At the beginning they had been hesitant, maybe because the trip from the gate had not been exactly a walk in the park. But now they were like kids in a toy shop. Obviously they had forgotten everything around them, showing once again how necessary Matt and his team was.

Rush was not among them. It seemed as if Young had managed to get his proscription of gate travel through with him, but Matt did not trust the peace. Rush probably would have gone against the order by now if he had not been busy on Destiny.

But brooding did not get him anywhere. At the moment he had only one duty and that was being watchful and taking care of the scientists’ security, even though at the moment the only danger around here seemed to be a heat stroke.

oOo

TJ sighed silently, rubbed her sore neck, blinking to refocus her sight. Staring through the ocular for hours was not just tiring for her eyes. But no matter how much progress she made the mountain of samples did not seem to shrink. She would not complain about it because this diversity was a gift, but the routine was just not made to keep her wandering thoughts in check. They were going in circles and she was aware that her mood was at least as low as that of the rest of the crew. It was getting harder to keep up the façade. 

After a look at the clock she decided to work another hour before she would call it a day. There was no helping it. She wanted to return to her notes, but steps followed by a knock at the open door stopped her. When she turned Varro was leaning in the doorframe, arms lightly crossed in front of his chest.   
“Hello Tamara.”  
“Hello, you are back from the planet?” TJ gave him a small but genuine smile.  
“Yes, I came back with the last change of shift.”  
“Ah. How can I help you?”  
“I just wanted to check in on you and see if you could use some help?”  
TJ’s smile got a bit broader. “Not really help, but I could use some company.” Unconsciously she rubbed her neck and shoulder again.  
Varro stepped closer and pushed her hand away softly. “Let me help with that. Sitting like this for hours must be strenuous.“  
„It‘s okay.“ She hesitated but she resisted the reflex to push Varro’s hand away. She also did not want to ask from where he had this sudden courage to come so close suddenly. Instead she let her head fall forwards slowly and closed her eyes while the big, strong hands massaged her tense muscles. Pleasant goosebumps spread over her body. 

„How are your injuries? I didn’t get another chance to take a look at them.“  
„Everything healed nicely. I’m like new. So you don’t have to worry about me.”  
“At least that’s some good news.”

There was nothing but comfortable silence for a couple of minutes between them. TJ sank back slowly and finally leant against Varro’s strong body. She felt safer than she had in a long time.

“Do you think he has any chance out there alone?” she asked suddenly. She hardly dared to ask anyone this question, because she would not believe the optimistic “he is fine” nor did she want to hear the pessimistic “he is dead already”. But she could not keep it to herself forever, so Varro seemed to be the best choice because he was not nearly as much emotionally involved as the other crewmembers. 

The picture of another Varro standing protectively in front of a fierce Eli appeared before her inner eye. It was still hard to believe that there existed other versions of them out there, making other decisions, loving different people, still being similar to them.

The hands on her shoulders had stopped for a moment, before continuing softly and accompanied by Varro’s strong voice. “Obviously Eli is very resourceful, and after everything I’ve heard he really seems to be convinced of being able to do this. Why are you asking me? Nearly everyone aboard knows Eli better than I do.”  
“Yes, but you know how to handle yourself out there, how to survive; and I thought because the other … uhm, it’s not important.” She became sheepish, made a dismissive gesture and tried to gather the motivation to continue her task. That was anything but easy right now.

The hands on her shoulders got slower and the massaging turned into a soft caress. Then she could feel a warm touch on her head, Varro’s lips. She did not know when they had reached this kind of familiarity. It must have happened sometime during the past few days. It was surprising and comforting at the same time. She did not fight it.

“Is it because of the relationship that our visitors from the other universe didn’t try to hide?” Varro continued their conversation. “To calm your mind, I would like to be able to say that Eli will return without doubt, but he is not the trained fighter we met. I don’t know what kind of connection the other two had. Independent from that I can only make speculations about what will await him, like everyone else. In a fight, armed or unarmed, realistically he hardly stands any chance, but when it comes to solving a problem with his wit, you shouldn’t give up hope yet. It seems to be his biggest strength besides his big mouth.”  
TJ had to smile involuntary and let the words sink in. In the end they only confirmed what she had thought the whole time. There was only one person who could give them certainty and that was Eli himself.

“Don’t you mind?” TJ asked quietly.  
“What?”  
“That the other one is in a relationship with a man.”  
“What do I care about the life of the other one? If I understood it correctly then there are uncountable versions of myself out there. I could have died in any fight I survived. Maybe my wife would still be alive and I would’ve never stepped aboard Destiny. I could’ve stood against the crew of Destiny and never come to know you like this. To have somebody by my side as funny and intelligent as Eli doesn’t seem to be a bad alternative. But in the end any of those variations are out of reach for us. There is only one of each of us in this world and I am quite content where I stand at the moment.”  
TJ understood the hint. Yes, she liked where they stood, too. More and more each day.

She thought about how Eli looked at Everett sometimes. She had registered that. And also how Everett suffered under his disappearance. Her feelings about that were twisted and the topic could not be ignored in the long run if Eli actually returned. “There are people on Earth who don’t see that as uncomplicated. And there are surely people aboard who aren’t able to differentiate between the different Varros and Elis. So don’t wonder if someone brings up the topic and don’t hesitate to tell me. We don’t need that kind of problems aboard on top of everything else.  
“You humans from Earth are really complicated.”  
“That seems true.”  
“But there is an easy way too. Finish for today. The samples won’t go anywhere and you look tired.” Varro caressed TJ’s cheek and looked at her frankly. She had no strength left to fight his attention and nodded in acceptance. She laid one hand over his and leant closer into the touch, then she stretched and kissed him. It was not passionate and fiery, but slow, soft and support-seeking. Everything else would follow on its own. Soon.

oOo

Chloe sat thoughtfully on Eli’s bed and looked around slowly. The walls were covered with pictures and calculations. Small things were scattered around the room. Everything was as Eli had left it, as if he would return any moment. She missed him. The past weeks had been hard, but thanks to Eli’s numerous stays in the infirmary they had had a lot of time to talk. It had been only small things, but it had brought them closer again. That Eli had not told her everything was clear to her now as she had had no idea of his plans. The Eli that had sneaked off the ship was a complete stranger to her.

A noise at the door made her look up. Her heart stopped, then beat faster, but of course it was not Eli.  
“Doctor Rush.”  
“Miss Armstrong,” he replied, stepping up to the desk with Eli’s notes.  
Chloe watched him silently while he seemed to search something without much coordination.  
“What are you looking for?” she asked when he took the same piece of paper a second time and laid it aside again.  
“Calculations, but in this chaos it is pointless.”  
“Can I help?”  
“No,” he answered curt.

Chloe stood up slowly and stepped closer. „You don’t have to come up with an excuse to be here.”  
“What?” Rush looked at her in irritation as if he really registered her only now.  
Chloe crossed her arms in front of her chest and returned his look with a challenge. “You’ve had the same piece of paper in your hand three times without actually looking at it.”  
“Don’t be silly, Miss Armstrong.”  
She smiled. “You can deny it as much as you like but it’s obvious that you miss him too.”  
“Hardly, as he has barely been gone six days now.”

She held back a comment about Rush knowing this instantly when he normally lost track of time so easily.  
“And if I did, then it is only because he is one of the few aboard who actually get any work done,” he added, hardly credible.  
Chloe left it at that. She did not want to argue with Rush. A part of her was still pissed at him for letting Eli go, but by now a much bigger part of hope and understanding had the upper hand. After all her time on Destiny she was starting to get experience in reading him.

She turned to leave but stayed a little longer.  
“Do you think he’ll come back?” she asked quietly. Silence answered her and her hope dwindled. What else had she expected?  
“Eli is one of the most resourceful people I know and always good for a surprise,” Rush finally surprised her with an answer. She thought that was all, but after a little pause he continued. “And even though nobody aboard seems to believe it: I’m well aware that I’m responsible for what happened to him. To believe that Eli will return - as small as that chance may be - is the only justification for what I’ve done.”  
Chloe turned and hugged Rush fiercely. He let it happen, surprised and stiff. Quickly she let go of him again before he could turn her down. “Eli was right. You are not as bad as you always make everyone believe.”

Rush looked at her skeptically. “Please keep in mind that Eli has been out of his mind for a while now.” She looked at him, flabbergasted, before bursting into laughter. The contradiction in Rush’s words was too obvious. “Yes, that’s what I thought, too. I’ll leave you to your search now. Good night.”  
“Good night,” Rush replied automatically and Chloe returned to the quarters she was sharing with Matt. She felt a little bit lighter.

oOo

Nicholas stayed back alone. Unlike Chloe, he did not sit on the bed. He stayed standing at the desk but gave up his aimless search. For a moment, he allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts. 

Few crewmembers reacted like Chloe. He never had much sympathy amongst them, and only a couple of them seemed to understand that he had helped Eli. The rest of them handled him like he had committed murder. Maybe, indirectly, it was, but he would not give up on his stance of having done the right thing. He could not change it anymore anyway.

The question was, if Young would get over it. Nicholas had to admit that working with him was easier when they both acted in concert. That was unlikely to be possible again in the future. Since their last conversation on the bridge they had successfully avoided each other.

O

After Scott had gone, Nicholas threw a short glance over to Volker, who turned hastily back to his monitors. It was clear in his face that he felt uncomfortable, but that was nothing new. The man still had not developed a spine or any authority.

Young turned to leave the bridge without another word, probably to go and see TJ and the unconscious airman.  
“Don’t I get a punishment this time?” Nicholas asked before he could stop himself, a challenging tone in his voice, and Young stopped dead in his movement.

“What would be fitting in your opinion?” he asked with suspicious calm. “What kind of punishment would actually get some results? I already forbade you from gate travel and took away your chance to examine the alien ship yourself. The only thing I could take from you now would be your work on the systems, but that’s not possible because it is your fucking job. So, any suggestions? Apart from the fact that you think you haven’t done anything wrong anyway?”

Nicholas kept silent. Not only because he had no answer to that but also because he knew that another word would be too much. It was not his intention to provoke the colonel any further.

Everett finally left the bridge without giving or getting an answer to his question.

oOo

Lisa sat on a camp chair at the edge of the camp and listened to her surroundings. Without eyesight, there was nothing for her to do here. Because of that she had tried to refuse to come, but TJ had insisted on her going anyway. The fresh air and the sunlight would be good for her, she had said. Lisa did not deny that, but she did not feel safe here. If one had nothing but the sounds around them then the difference compared to Earth became painfully obvious. Chloe had described the surroundings to her. It seemed familiar, but the lack of birdcalls made her nervous. Other unknown noises replaced the familiar sounds of animals.  
That she could not orient herself and would never be able to find her way back to the gate made the feeling of helplessness only worse.

Footsteps came closer to her, dry branches cracked. Lisa turned in the direction of the sound.  
“Hey Lisa, it’s me, Kentra. May I keep you company?”  
Lisa recognized the soft voice of the woman and nodded. She had already wondered who would be next in line. She felt uncomfortable about depending on someone playing the babysitter for her as long as she was here. In the end she was thankful that it was Airman Richmond this time instead of one of her tight-lipped or embarrassed comrades.

“Hello Kentra.”  
“Give me your hand,” Kentra said. Lisa looked at her skeptically. Hidden behind the sunglasses it was okay if she did not get the direction quite right.   
“Trust me.” Kentra did not wait but took Lisa’s right hand and pushed something soft into her open palm.  
“What is this?”  
“Berries. TJ gave her okay.”  
Lisa smelled them carefully. They smelled fruity and sweet. Something that had become rare in their daily routine. Then she tried them. “They are really good.”  
“Chloe found a whole clearing of them on her first day here. I’ll show you, come.”  
Lisa sank back into her chair depressed. “That will hardly work.”  
“Don’t be upset about it. You have more than one sense. You can smell and hear and I can describe it to you. Come on.” Before Lisa could react, the seemingly petite woman had already taken her hands and pulled her onto her feet. She linked their arms and Lisa could not do much but walk with her.  
Kentra described her every little detail in their surroundings. The colors, the shapes, just everything. The vague picture in her head from Chloe’s earlier descriptions became clearer and clearer. Before she could think about it, she let herself be carried away by Kentra’s cheerful mood. For a while she forgot the negative thoughts and was able to relax a little for the first time since she had arrived on the planet. Just like that, time spun away. 

oOo

Eleven days. Eleven days had already passed since Eli had gone.  
Eleven days since Young had stood in front of the crew, again, with bad news.  
Eleven days in which the mood aboard was at a constant ebb. Every single death hit them hard, but Eli was something else. He was something like the heart of the team. At the beginning probably everyone had hoped that Eli would return, but with every day more believed that Eli was dead already. Why else would it take him so long?  
Even Rush did not seem to be immune against the sinking mood. He kept to himself, shouting at everyone who dared to interrupt him. That was nothing new. But it seemed as if he was looking more dark than usual, being more mean and withdrawn. Dale felt it more than anyone and found it harder to be around him from day to day.

As if that was not enough, Young’s behavior had changed too. He was in a bad mood and broody. What one once could observe as progress in the communication between Rush and Young, was now gone. They seemed to avoid each other completely. It was like an Ice Age.

Eli has been gone for eleven days and Destiny was at a virtual standstill. The fact that they were stationary in space and just kept working on new repairs from day to day only made the feeling worse. Small and big successes, like when another energy line had been repaired or when another section of the ship was accessible again, were swallowed by the depressed mood. Even all the exciting findings from the alien ship had a constant stale taste.

Dale had had enough of it. That was why he went to Brody’s distillery right after his shift. Thanks to the rich food supply from the planets Brody had been able to replenish their alcohol stock. The stuff still burned through your throat, but the engineer’s skills seemed to be improving. Slowly the stuff was getting a good taste depending on which kind of alien greens he used as source.

When Dale entered the room, he stopped for a moment in irritation. There was nothing left of the depressing mood in here. A group of people had gathered at the biggest table and seemed to be celebrating. Lisa was among them. Brody was behind the bar and smiled.  
Brody never smiled.

Dale went to him and sat on one of the bar stools. “What are they celebrating?”  
“Cocktail test drinking. Becker diverted a couple of juices from the kitchen and now they’re discussing which combination looks and tastes the best.” Dale took another glance at the table, but he could not see much.  
“Then I’ll take one, too.”  
“One cocktail coming up.” Brody put some of the homebrewed in a cup, added two different colored fluids and then- with a wrist movement - threw in a berry that landed with a blobb and drowned. Brody would have been a talented barkeeper.  
Dale took a sip from his drink. The burning of the alcohol was unchanged but this time it was followed by a fruity taste. It took getting used to, but he could see how this diversion had lightened up everyone else. He gave Brody a curt nod and then went over to the cheerful group. It was time to get rid of his dark thoughts, at least for one night.

oOo

Matt knew that he had drunk too much. The hangover the next morning would kill him, but it was worth it. Their mood had not been relaxed like this in a long time. This diversion had been what they had needed so desperately. And the evening was not over yet, even though it was already well past midnight.

He and Chloe were on their way to their quarters, but walking was more difficult than it should have been. They staggered and stumbled more than they walked because Chloe had had her fair share of drinks, too. They laughed foolishly and hardly managed to keep their hands to themselves. Because they were kissing hungrily every couple meters they hardly made any progress. Matt had his hands full with keeping Chloe from jumping him in the middle of the corridor. He had not known that too much alcohol had this kind of effect on her.

Suddenly, Chloe freed herself from him, laughed and turned away. “Catch me!” she shouted and ran surprisingly surefootedly down the corridor. Matt looked after her perplexedly for a couple of seconds before he followed her, clearly slower than it would have been possible in a sober state.  
“Chloe, wait!” Matt finally caught up with her at the door to the observation deck, but she escaped him again and began to dance through the big, empty room.

He would never complain about seeing her happy like this, but a small worried voice in his head told him that something was not right. “Don’t you want to come to bed with me?” he asked and hoped that she would calm down a little.  
“Not yet,” she replied, continuing to dance around. Matt tried halfheartedly to catch her, but as soon as she was close to him, she spun away again. Coltishly she started to jump on the benches.   
“Chloe, what is wrong with you?”  
“Nothing is wrong with me.” Chloe built up some momentum and jumped onto one of the tables where she spun in circles, laughing, and tried to do wobbling yoga exercises.  
“Chloe, get down now, you’re going to hurt yourself.”  
She just laughed but then suddenly stopped dead in her motions. “I feel dizzy suddenly.”  
“No wonder, with the way you’re jumping around. You are going to be sick.“ He walked to her, to finally get her down, but before he could reach her, she sank down unconsciously.

„Chloe!“


	11. Standstill 2/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2017.01.19 - now updated with beta
> 
> oOo
> 
> I really didn't want to do this, but I've kept you waiting long enough. My sweet beta is kinda missing at the moment and I hope she'll turn up eventually but if any of you feel like it: it really wouldn't hurt to have one or two more betareaders. As you are going to see, there is still some work to do but there are much worse texts out there ^^°  
> More beta readers would make my life much easier which would mean faster writing.
> 
> This chapter is short and as of yet my worst in this story but it will be followed by a much longer and way cooler chapter so please just hang in there with me.
> 
> Comments are highly appreciated in generall and especially right now.

Matt was able to catch Chloe before she hit her head on the hard floor.  
“Chloe?” He pushed the long dark strands from her forehead and looked into her pale face. “Chloe, open your eyes! Come on.” She did not react. When he felt for her pulse it was very weak. Hastily he grabbed the radio.  
“TJ, please respond.” He got no answer. Worried he kept on trying to wake up Chloe. “TJ, do you read? I need you on the observation deck right now. Chloe collapsed.”  
When he finally got an answer it was not what Matt had anticipated.  
“This is Varro. Tamara collapsed, too. I can’t wake her up.“  
„What the...?“ Matt looked around in panic, but the empty room gave him neither answer nor help.  
“I got two more reports,” Varro continued and Matt swallowed dryly. Did they get infected with a virus again? But there had been no signs for that. Chloe had not seemed to have a fever or any other troubles.

Matt reprimanded himself. He had to pull himself together. Panic was no solution.  
“Bring TJ to the infirmary. I’ll come too. Tell the others, too. Over.“  
He changed the channel. “Colonel Young, please respond.” It took a moment until Young’s sleepy voice answered. “What is it, Lieutenant?”  
“TJ and Chloe collapsed and won’t wake up. There are reports of two more cases. Varro is with TJ. I told him everyone is to report to the infirmary.”  
“Understood. I’m on my way,” Young answered, sounding more awake.  
Matt put away the radio, heaved Chloe into his arms, and carried her as fast as he could to the infirmary. There he was appalled to find that the number of stricken patients had increased. Including Chloe, there were already seven. For the first time in a long while the large room was uncomfortably filled.

Matt watched in relief as Young came in, getting an overview of the situation and the present people before giving orders.  
“Marsden, Greer, put together teams of two. The whole crew is to meet in the mess. Find everyone. Barnes, have Wray and three other people get medical support from Earth. Meanwhile, the rest of you tend to the unconscious. We don’t know what we are dealing with yet, if it is contagious, and if so, in what way. So be careful.  
Scott, make a list of everything that everyone did and ate last. Find commonalities. Ask for Rush’s help with the kinos and the surveillance of the ship. I want to know what’s going on. Lieutenant, concentrate!”  
Matt flinched. It was hard for him to let go of Chloe.  
“Scott!” Young demanded his attention.  
“Yes, Sir.”  
Vanessa stepped up to Matt and lay a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll take care of her,” she promised quietly. Matt nodded thankfully and finally got to work.

Half an hour later all crew members were gathered in the mess. Two more scientists had been found unconscious in their quarters. Only Richmond was still missing. An extensive search had been started.  
So far, Matt was only halfway done with the list, but he already had the suspicion that they would find Richmond unconscious, too. It seemed as if all patients had been at Brody’s and all of them had displayed a strange behavior before they lost consciousness. He had blamed Chloe’s strange mood on the alcohol, but now that he was more sober and was putting the pieces together, it was obvious that there had been more behind it.

Doctor Brightman, who had switched with Wray, and her colleagues had found that they were in a coma-like state. It had put no one’s mind at ease. By now they had taken blood samples from all those affected and were examining them for pathogens, which would take some time.

Meanwhile, Matt reported his findings to the colonel, who then called Brody over. “The Lieutenant says that all of these people were with you a couple of hours ago. Could it be the drinks?”  
“Out here, always; but we didn’t use anything that wasn’t cleared by TJ and everyone had some of the juice, even me.”  
“Were there any abnormalities among the others?” asked Brightman, who had joined the small group.  
“Some have been complaining that the lights are too bright. Otherwise, everyone has been mostly in a good mood, some just a bit more.”  
“Which is peculiar enough after the mood aboard the last few days.”  
“Why?” Brightman looked expectantly at the men. Scott took over when Young did not answer.  
“One of our crewmembers was… is missing. Many took that unusually hard.”  
“Understandable. Be that as it may I’m not ruling anything out before we have the blood test results back, but food supplies are a good start. I need drink samples. We will examine them again in case anything has been missed. Sometimes two otherwise harmless substances mixed together can nevertheless become toxic once combined. With all due respect to Lieutenant Johansen’s capabilities, her knowledge surely has limits.  
Let’s hope the cause is among them or else we’ll have to extend our search. Apart from that, we need to find a way to wake them up as soon as possible. In their current condition it will only take a couple of days before organ failure sets in. I don’t have the equipment to keep all of them alive for longer than that.”  
“If it becomes absolutely necessary, we can put them into stasis, but that should be our last resort. Do what you can, Doctor. We’ll get you whatever you need if we can.”  
“I will do that, Colonel.” Brightman turned away and got back to work while Brody went on his way to the distillery. Matt followed him after looking in on Chloe, but her condition was unchanged like everyone else’s.

The distillery was a mess. Normally everyone cleaned up after themselves. They had rules about it, but no one seemed to have followed them this time. Matt had not realized it last night. Had they really been that drunk?

Brody indicated the large table where Chloe and Matt had been sitting too. Their used cups still stood there. “Most people were over there, but not all the patients are from that table if I remember correctly. Leftovers from the juices should still be behind the bar.”  
Matt looked in one of the cups. There was no solution, only slowly drying remnants of the drink and some brownish slimy substance. He smelled it carefully and made a disgusted face. The remnants of the alcohol were mixing with a nauseatingly sweet smell.  
“What is this?” Matt showed the contents of the cup to Brody. Some of the other cups seemed to have the same residue. Brody poked the stuff. “If I would have to take a guess, I would say this had been the blossoms.”  
“What blossoms?”  
“We decorated the cocktails with them. They came from a plant TJ had signed off on.”  
“The blossoms too?”  
“What?”  
“Did she sign off on the blossoms too?”  
“I think so… probably. They weren’t supposed to be eaten, now that you mention it. Most stuck to the berries, but some of the women had the blossoms. That would explain why there are only two men among the patients.”  
“Damn. Do you still have some?“  
“Yes.”  
“Bring them.” Matt took the radio. „Colonel, this is Scott, I think we found something. There is a plant whose blossoms were used in the cocktails last night. They were probably overlooked in testing because they weren’t supposed to be eaten. We’ll come back and bring samples.”  
“Understood. Good job.“

O

Everett felt helpless. When they fought something they could only see under a microscope, something he could not fight with his own hands, he felt paralyzed every time. Meanwhile, the doctors thought Matt’s theory about the blossom was the most likely. At least it ruled out a contagion and gave them a starting point for treatment. Having to utilize unfamiliar methods slowed down the process of finding a solution. There was still no cure in sight.

In the meantime, Richmond had been found. She had been lying unconscious in a remote corridor, a minor laceration on her forehead. Probably she had been surprised by the unconsciousness like everyone else. That they had now clarified the whereabouts of all crew members was only a small comfort.

„How is it, Doctor?“ Everett asked. He got an irritated sigh in reply. No wonder, as it was not the first time he was asking that question, but she kept her patience.  
“Sobering. It could take weeks to analyze the substances in the plant. Part of it seems familiar, other parts are completely foreign to us. Any substance or combination of them could have caused the current state of your people. For example, we identified something that looks like Mescaline. It would explain some of the symptoms, but not all.”  
“What’s Mescaline?”  
“An alkaloid… an organic compound that occurs in a certain kind of cactus on Earth. Most know it under the name Peyote. The reports of hallucinations, excitement and other behavior that the lieutenant gave me would fit, but the coma does not at all. That is why I still have no solution. Mescaline would have been processed by their bodies by now anyway.  
I went through Lieutenant Johansen’s notes and supplies, but I want to do some tests before I start giving your people anything. I could kill them with the wrong treatment.”  
“Is there anything we can do?”  
“Aside from letting us do our work? Not much. Though you could get us some more of that plant. It seems as if only the blossoms have these high quantities. What might also help would be to find an animal that eats this plant. Most of the times they find their own way of dealing with the plants’ substances, which could help us.”  
“We can look for it, but I can’t promise anything. I’ll send a team immediately.”  
“Thank you.”

Everett left Brightman with her work and went to assemble a team. There were enough volunteers who were tired of the inactivity like him. In the end he sent Varro and three other men, while ordering a mandatory break for Scott. Even though they were only collecting some plants, he did not want a hungover Lieutenant out there.

Everett had more than enough to do himself while the team was planetside. The crew had to be updated about their current situation and the inactivity of waiting would do none of them good. They had to get back to work. He himself had to arrange reports to bring to Earth when one of the stones became available. It was going to be a nightmare because the mistakes happening under his command did not seem to be lessening. David did not push him anymore, but there were still enough voices doubting his command and trying to replace him. But aside from the fact that he had made peace with the thought of commanding this crew, the only way to relief him of his duties was to replace him with someone on board or make a permanent connection with the stones. And he would definitely do neither. If they really wanted to replace him, then they should strengthen their efforts to build a supply line.

But he did not return to his quarters directly after he had given all his orders. His first stop brought him to the distillery. Someone had cleaned up, but now the room was empty. One more thing on his list of decisions. Should he close the distillery for a couple of days or even longer? But what would that accomplish?  
It would make no sense to put the blame on Brody for their current situation. After what Everett had seen, the man was punishing himself already when this could easily have happened to Becker or the other members of the mess. A mistake that could cost them their lives out here. The only consequence they could take from this was to be even more careful.

Probably one or the other had lost their desire for alcohol for now anyway. Like him. The wish to drown all his problems in alcohol had been far too strong in the last couple of days. But he did not want to fall back into that dark hole. Compromising himself to Scott again or the crew was no option.

Everett turned his back on the distillery and followed the corridor to the quarters. It was Eli’s room that he was headed to instead of his own. The chaos there had contained nothing that would have helped them in any way. Eli had left without leaving a trace. Without a hint showing them a way to get him back.

„How long are you going to keep us waiting?“ Everett asked the empty room quietly. He had to think of how Eli had slept at his side. If they had kept it that way, Eli would have had no chance to go because he would have had an eye on the boy the whole time.

Everett called himself a fool before he could finish the thought. It was stupid to think that he could have stopped Eli. Especially not Eli and Rush together. After all, he had taken down his guard without much effort.

As soon as Eli returned, Everett would have to have the serious talk with Eli that he had repeated countless times in his head the last couple of weeks.

If Eli returned.

Everett did not know how long he could keep up hope.  
Was it foolish to believe that Eli had a chance?  
How long could they wait and do nothing?  
The mandatory rest and recreation had turned into a disaster. A long row of events that were worsening every day.  
How long until he would have to give the order to fly on? They could not go on like this forever.

To lose Eli for good would be a blow Everett did not want to imagine. Every single loss since the beginning of their journey had hit him hard. They always did, after all, he was only human. But Eli was different.  
Maybe it was because he had no military background and his personality and mode of thinking was different from the rest of the crew. Or because he had changed so much since stasis. Maybe it was because Eli had sneaked into his personal space. No, not sneaked. He had pushed in without thinking and Everett had let it happen, which was completely inappropriate. It was even worse that he had woken a couple of times at night, feeling for Eli next to him unthinkingly. That was just wrong and something he did not want to deal with. So Eli’s absence brought a moral relief that lay heavy on his conscience.

Everett was tired in a way that could not be cured by any sleep in the world. He had a feeling of crumbling inward, every day a bit more, and he could see it with the others, too. If they did not have any successes soon, despair would spread like a wildfire and do damage he could not yet foresee. He had seen how people could lose hope and turn against each other. If that happened to them, they would be lost.

A couple of times Everett hit the doorframe with his palm, frustrated that he was not able to get ahead. Then he finally turned to leave. He had had these kind of thoughts too often in the last two weeks and they were dragging him closer to the abyss bit by bit every time. He had to stop this.

Determined, he went back to work.

O

Doctor Brightman stretched and pushed a wayward hair strand out of her eyes. She still was not used to using the stones. The feeling of a foreign body was strange every time, but it fell into the background when she concentrated on her work. Only now and then was she reminded of it when a reflective surface did not show her the usual picture or when a movement did not have the usual radius. She actually felt a certain fascination for this technology, but it was not her field.

Her task was to heal these people. Not an easy task when the analysis did not show any clear results. It was even more difficult because she could not just go to the medicine cabinet and just crab the right drug. Her colleagues had been analyzing for two days by now, and as she had told Young, there did not seem to be an end to finding new organic compounds. The additional fresh samples she had asked for had made it even worse.

Time was running out and she had to decide on a selection of compounds soon. Tests on the patients would be at a certain point the only thing that would bring them forward, but in these surroundings she was hesitant to make that decision.

She was distracted from her thoughts when one of her colleagues gave her his newest notes. She skimmed over the words and breathed a sigh of relief. They looked promising. With them, she could finally work. She started to check the noted values with newfound hope.

About an hour later she asked Colonel Young to meet with her to give him her results.  
“We took another round of blood samples and checked them. The values of the foreign compound have not gone down. So we have to eliminate the chance of the patients being able to metabolize it any time soon by themselves. We found something that seems to neutralize the compound among the samples the team brought from the planet. I would like to begin with Lieutenant Johansen. She has the lowest concentration in her blood so I can give her a smaller dosage...” She stopped.  
“But?” Young asked impatiently. Brightman sighed.  
“Like I said before, there are no guaranties. There is no way of knowing what kind of adverse effects there might be. The products of both compounds could make everything worse, but under the current circumstances this is our only solution. Otherwise I would suggest preparing stasis.”  
Young stayed silent and looked over to the patients. She did not know what he was thinking, but she had a rough idea. He had to make a decision where none of the options were favorable. Before she could continue to explain what could happen he nodded decidedly. “Do it. Wake my people!”

O

Varro had taken a seat at TJ’s side and was holding her hand. Her fingers were unusually cool. There were people sitting at the sides of all the patients. They seemed to be as uncomfortable with the waiting and hoping as he was.  
He looked up when the doctor stepped up to the other side of the bed, followed by Young. She had an injection needle in her hand and injected it into TJ’s system without further explanation. Her look unsettled Varro.  
“Will that help her?” he asked as he rubbed softly over TJ’s skin to get a little warmth back into it.  
“We will see soon. It can take a while to…” Brightman was interrupted when TJ’s body started convulsing. “Damn it, I was afraid this could happen.”  
“Do something!” Varro and Young demanded at the same time, helping her to hold TJ still so she would not hurt herself.  
“I need more of the blue root solution, one to twenty. Now!” she called over her shoulder to her colleagues and got another needle soon after. “Hold her still.” She injected the solution. It did not seem to work at first. But finally the convulsions stopped and TJ’s body relaxed.

Varro was about to sigh in relief but it was not over yet. “She’s not breathing!” he yelled. Brightman used her stethoscope to hear TJ’s lungs, and then TJ suddenly opened her eyes wide, taking gasps of air. Then she sank back on the bed and blinked tiredly. Her breathing seemed to normalize.  
“Lieutenant Johansen, can you hear me?”  
TJ nodded slowly and made a face.  
“Do you have any pain?”  
She raised her hand and touched her head and throat. When she tried to speak she could not get any words past her lips. Only on the second try did her voice obey. “What happened?”  
“You’ve got the worst hangover you can think of,” Young said.

Doctor Brightman explained it a bit more clearly. “You accidentally ate something that didn’t agree with you. But you are on the way to recovery. We will explain everything later. Rest now. We don’t know yet if the treatment will have any other adverse effects.”  
TJ nodded and smiled at Varro, who guided her hand to his lips and kissed the cool skin briefly. From the corner of his eyes he could see a look on Young’s face that he was not quite able to identify.

“You know how it works, Lieutenant. Nothing to eat or drink for the next couple of hours. The infusion will give you all you need right now. Take care that she remains in bed and tell me as soon as something changes about her condition,” Brightman instructed first TJ and then Varro.  
“I will do that, Doctor.”  
TJ closed her eyes again while Varro continued to listen to Brightman and Young with one ear. Both turned a little away but stayed close.

“Unfortunately I can’t tell if there will be any more complications at the moment, but I think we can risk using the treatment on all the other patients. We can’t wait any longer, and we have to treat one after the other to keep the reactions under control. Let’s hope the solution works for everyone.”  
“Okay.”

O

Three days later Everett accompanied Doctor Brightman back to the stones. The other doctors had already gone back one by one. He should be going with her to give the report he had been postponing, but he still did not know what to say. Brightman would already report the course of the treatment. They had been able to wake all the patients, but had nearly lost Airman Haley, who had reacted worse than the others. But by now everyone had been released from the infirmary. They had been lucky. 

“Thank you for your help,” Young said as he shook hands with Brightman.  
“Any time, Colonel, even if we can only hope that we don’t have to see each other so soon again.”  
“Yes, let’s hope so.”  
They switched off the stones and Camille returned.  
“How is everyone?” she asked immediately.  
“Much better. We were lucky again.” She nodded softly and left the room.

Everett took his time. Giving a report of the incident did not tempt him at all. One thoughtless human act had nearly cost eight of their crewmembers their life. That would definitely get him criticism for his leadership and for the whole situation again.  
Instead of using the stones he turned to another equally uncomfortable task. He actually had managed to avoid Rush since their argument on the bridge. Their communication had been limited to one-worded information via radio. An admittedly childish tactic, but it had worked. Rush had kept quiet and stuck to his work. The daily reports about the progress with repairs had spoken for themselves. If it had not been for the incident, one could have said it was a quiet time.

On the bridge, Everett was greeted by a by now-familiar sight. Rush was brooding alone over a console and was scribbling something in his new notebook. Doctor O’Brian, with the help of Brody, had finally managed to produce a stack of paper and had spread it among the crew.  
“Camille is back. All the patients have been dismissed from the infirmary,” Everett informed him without greeting.  
“Good,” Rush replied. He looked up briefly and was somewhere else with his thoughts again in the next moment, obviously. Silence spread between them while Everett leant on the railing that separated the two levels of the room, watching the scientist contemplatively.

Rush had a really twisted way of showing his trust in and worry for Eli. Now that he had some distance from the situation, Everett could see why Eli and Rush had done what they did. Why they had given up on all other options. But Everett’s ego had a hard time accepting that they had felt the need to do it behind his back. It showed that Eli did not have enough trust in him. After Eli had constantly sought his proximity, it did not make much sense to him.

Everett admitted to himself that his first reaction would have been a clear ‘no’ if Eli really had come to him. If he had allowed Eli to go eventually, he would not have let him go alone.

“So, how is your project going?” he asked suddenly, pushing the idle thought away.  
“Which one? I have many,” Rush replied distractedly.  
“The one where you try to get access to the Aza’an’s data and localize their homeplanet to calculate a way through the gates.” The name of the aliens still took some getting used to. Probably he pronounced it completely wrong.

Rush halted for a moment and shook his head. “No chance. There is nothing that I can use to determine a reference. How do you know about that project?”  
“Volker and Brody aren’t always as slow as you keep thinking.”  
“Hm.”  
“It’s been thirteen days since Eli left.”  
“And seven hours and,” Rush looked at the display. “Forty-seven minutes.”  
Everett understood the hint. Rush felt Eli’s absence like everyone else onboard. He was not indifferent.

“How long?” Everett asked, guessing Rush knew exactly what he meant.  
“I don’t know. If they had only taken the nanites and let him go, he would be back by now. I don’t think that the process is so difficult for that race. They seem too advanced for that. There must be another reason keeping him away.”  
Rush paused for a moment before continuing. “The truth is I’m not ready to give up on him. The past has shown that being away from the ship does not mean a death sentence. And Eli always comes up with something. But still, we should think about giving up this whole vacation thing and fly on, especially after this incident. We need new material that we can’t get on the planets we can reach from here.  
“If we go on it’s the end for Eli,” Everett stated grudgingly.  
“No, he knows the way. As long as we stay on course he’ll find us. He said so himself.”  
Everett did not know if he could believe that or if Rush was only trying to justify moving on. “Give us a couple more days.” He turned to go.

“Colonel, my decision to help him was right,” Rush said when Everett was at the door. He turned back again.  
“You might believe that. I will only believe it when he is back.”  
“Of course.”  
Everett sighed and shook his head. „Don’t stay up for much longer. You look tired.”  
“Sure Colonel.”

oOo


	12. Standstill 3/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there. This chapter is again WITHOUT BETA!  
> While my beta reader is back (yeah) I'm just to impatient. Also, I wanted to get you even with the German readers.  
> I'm still serious about looking for a new beta because my current one has a crazy busy real life and can take weeks and months for a chapter. If you know someone who would take the task I would be really happy because choosing between letting you wait for weeks and months even though the chapter is already finished or posting unbetaed chapters is just not cool :-(

// „Do you actually really believe that we can fulfill Destiny’s mission?  
I mean we … here … in this life.  
How likely is that?  
The ship has been on its way for thousands of years. Wouldn’t it be a rather big coincidence if it would reach its destiny just now?  
And to be honest what do you believe will await us at this destiny? The Ancients had no idea what could have caused this signal that is why they send Destiny on its mission after all. But we are no step closer to answering this question.  
If we would be would it justify all the lost lives?  
You always evade the question. But what do you expect to find? Isn’t it likely that after all this time the signal is nothing but an echo that we will never decrypt? Who or what ever caused this signal is likely to be nothing more than stardust by now. Like the CMB is just an echo of an enormous event that is lying billions of years in the past.  
So what do you expect?” //

Nick turned off the recording and put the laptop away. Frustrated he pressed his palms against his eyes. He really should not be watching these recordings anymore. When it had been about finding out what had happened he had only watched them in fast-forward. But now he had enough time to even watch the apparently irrelevant soliloquies and he just could not stop even though he knew that they did not help him in any way.  
Eli would be pissed when he found out that he still had the recordings.  
As soon as he came back.

Nick fell backwards in a sprawl onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. Finally the ship was moving in FTL mode again. It would take a couple of days until their next planed stop for material. Until then hopefully everyone had calmed down a bit. Those had been Young’s words.

Calm was the last thing Nick needed. It just gave him time to think and at the moment nothing came of it. He would stay lying here a couple more minutes to gain energy and then get back to work. If he concentrated on that there would not be room for anything else.

o

Lieutenant Vanessa James stepped through the stargate closely followed by her team. She looked around observantly. Good as the records and analysis from the kino were they never were able to show the full spectrum of a new planet.  
There had been a time when it had been exciting to be the first human stepping foot on these strange worlds. But the exciting feeling and the curiosity had been replaced by routine and the individual mission goal. Now they only worked their way from planet to planet to collect food and other resources in the hope of finding a way back home. And there was always the danger of the unknown lurking beyond the gate. No matter if it was the force of nature or alien life.

Every day Vanessa lost a little more hope that they would find their way back to Earth. So many times they had said they had found a way home and then something had come up again, something had not worked. Sometimes she wondered if the crew that had been stranded two thousand years in the past had not been better off. The records had shown that it had been tough for them but at least they had found a home, a place to live that was not a limited range in the nothingness of outer space.  
The thought had crossed her mind a couple of times in the last weeks. Now was not the right time for it. She had to concentrate on her task.

The air was dry and warm and there was no wind. In the long run not the most comfortable climate but they had had worse conditions.  
Three moons stood in the dark blue sky above the rocky area, two third full. One of them was impressively big and made the other two seem tiny. The rest of the sky was covered in an overwhelming amount of stars like you could hardly see on Earth with the naked eye.

There seemed to be nothing but rubble in the vicinity. A frequent sight when they stepped through the gate. It was hard to tell if the whole planet was like this or if it looked completely different behind the next hill. But at least it was a good start in their search for this mineral which name she did not remember. There were more than enough rocks around so Morrison and his colleague could enjoy themselves as soon as they gave their okay.

“Rennie with me heading south.” She gestured straight away from the gate so the moons were on their left site. Not far from them the area formed a slight hill that promised a better point of view. “Reynolds and Graham to the rock formations in the north. Stay in radio contact.”  
“Yes, ma’am,” they replied automatically in unison. She would not even had to say it out loud. The procedure was the same on every planet.

The men spread and Vanessa walked in the direction of the hillside in front of her to get a higher point of view. From down here it was hard to see much. The ground beneath her boots was loose and sharp-edged. Repeatedly she could feel the rubble beneath her feet give way but she was always able to brace herself. With a short gesture she communicated to Rennie to search a way left of her so they could cover more ground. Soon he was out of her sight between a couple of rock peaks. It was hard to believe that there was any life on this planet but they could not rule it out completely. They had to stay cautious.

When Vanessa had reached the top of the hill she felt a slight tremor under her feet but it was over immediately. She looked around warily while some more small tremors tested her balance. But before she could get her radio and asked the others about it she was surprised by a much stronger earthquake. This time she lost her footing and slipped. She braced for a hard painful impact but the fall did not come when a firm grip closed around her right upper arm and she was pulled against a body in the next moment. Surprised she asked herself where Rennie had come from so suddenly when she realized that her savior did not wear the military uniform of the crew but some completely foreign fabrics. As soon as the quake had subsided she freed herself hastily and pulled her weapon on impulse.

oOo

Eli opened his eyes and stared into the sky above him. Two small moons and a low standing sun were sharing the smooth light blue. There were neither clouds nor birds or anything else. The sight of those worlds were nothing new to him anymore, it seemed almost unspectacular. If one ignored the second moon, one could even believe that this was Earth. But he knew that it was not and that this place could become a death trap fast like every other place on their journey.

“Stay in the here and now,” Eli admonished himself quietly and slowly set up. Reality was that he had no clue where he was at the moment and how he had gotten here. Generally this was no good starting point. He took a deep breath and was a little proud of himself that he did not fall into blind panic. With time he really had made progress.  
Also, he could panic always later. What he needed first was a proper analysis of his surroundings. His backpack ley next to him on the rocky ground that was damned uncomfortable. Spirited he got to his feet and looked around. Not far from him stood a stargate otherwise there seemed to be nothing else here on first sight. No plants, no animals, no water. He had breathable air and was unwounded that was a start after all.

In the backpack he found everything he had put in there last. Among other things a full flask of water, dried fruits and his old clothes. He had changed them against a new outfit of a comfortable, robust fabric from the Aza’an. Jacket, pants, shirt and cloves were in different shades of dull blue and perfectly fitted to his shape, so they enclosed his body completely and only left his fingertips free. The clothes were made for protection not for camouflage.  
When he checked his neck he found a plain thin chain with three small vials that were lying protected under the fabric. They were the most important gift from his new friends and he would do everything in his power to get the blue marked one to its rightful owner. The other two were for an emergency that hopefully never happened.

But first he had to get out of here. He got the kino and the remote out and looked at the display. There was only one address and naturally it was not Destiny’s. That would have been too easy. He also did not recognize the address but chances were that he could reach more addresses from the other planet. He was left with the usual procedure: send the kino first and go after if it was safe.

Eli felt a bit stupid as he dialed the gate. He could have come only this way so why should the other planet not be safe? But he also had said that back then about that planet he had been stranded on with Chloe and Matt for a short time. He had learned his lesson. Also his memory gap had to have a reason too. Maybe the reason for it was there.

The kino vanished through the event horizon and send back its data shortly after. Eli read the data two-three times but the result was always the same. The atmosphere was absolutely toxic. He had never ever come this way to the planet.  
His thoughts started racing.  
How had he come from the Aza’an here if not through the gate?  
How was he supposed to find his way back to Destiny now?  
Was okay to panic now no matter how unhelpful it was?  
Unfortunately now the kino was lost too and with it all his footage from the past weeks.

“Damned.” He cursed a couple of times quietly and tried to gather his thoughts. He went through the data on the remote and halted. Either this thing was damaged or between the last time he had looked at the clock and now three days had past. He ruled out the first option and that was anything but calming. What had he done in those three days since he had to say good bye to the Aza’an so suddenly and what had happened to his memories of that time?

All these many questions without answers left him with a helplessness that made it hard for him to think clearly.  
A strange feeling under his feet distracted him. The ground was shaking, first only lightly then it got stronger. He looked around hastily but he could not see or hear anything that could have been the source for the quakes. No herd of strange animals, no geological formation. Which did not mean that it did not look differently in the ground beneath his feet. The tremors ebbed before a much stronger earthquake nearly swept Eli off his feet. He went to his knees and braced himself. The fabric on his hands dampened the contact with the sharp-edged rocks.  
Suspiciously he waited for any following quakes but nothing happened. Eli slowly dared to get back on his feet.

There was no use in waiting near the gate, hoping that Destiny would pop up suddenly on the remote. He had the vague feeling that he was here exactly for that reason but doing nothing was no option for him. In case he had to wait for a longer period he had to look around and find water, food and shelter. His supplies had been made for a direct way back to the ship not for a longer stay in no man’s land.

He spun once in a circle and then walked in a straight line away from the gate, the moons left of him. The way was uneven and Eli made only slow progress. It took his full concentration to not loose foot on the ground while keeping an eye on his surroundings in case any aliens appeared. Even though he probably would not be able to defend himself. He could throw stones. There were plenty of those lying around.

His efforts were rewarded by a clear view over an enormous plateau when he reached the highest point of the slope that now lay behind him. It would have been a relief if there had been a stream of water and vegetation but instead there were only more rocks and dryness and great dark cracks that spread star-like from the center of the plateau. Eli could not distinguish more, for that he was too far away. He had to decide if he wanted to try it in the other direction or go closer.

However, before he could make a decision the ground started shaking again. Again it was a series of short, small quakes then a big strong one. By accident Eli kept his eyes on the plateau. Immediately it was clear, that the quakes and the cracks had a connection because the ground had risen slightly while the cracks had continued spreading. If the quakes caused the cracks or reverse Eli could not tell but a queasy feeling grew in him. He threw a short look back in the direction of the gate then one on the remote, but naturally Destiny had not shown up miraculously in the last half hour. 

Probably he had more than enough time to try it in the other direction later. So carefully he started the hindrance rich decent down to the plateau. He had managed about half the way when he realized that the sky above him started to turn dark. The sun set while the small moons rose and at the horizon another much bigger moon joined the other two. Hopefully it would spend enough light at night. Absolute darkness was the last thing Eli needed now. With this queasy feeling Eli continued his decent and finally stopped on a ledge about ten meters above the ground. From there he could finally make out more details.

The setting sun cast long shadows on a part of the cracks. Their edges seemed to blur. When Eli looked closer he drew back involuntarily. The edges were not blurred but covered by an uncounted number of spiderlike creatures with upright torsos. They came out of the ground, spreading everywhere where the sun did not reach anymore.  
Eli was not close enough to see more details of the animals but he decided that he had definitely chosen the wrong direction for his expedition. With this high number he had no desire to find out more about them without a secured exit. If he estimated the size right he probably would not stand a chance against even one of them. 

Now even more aware of his steps he started his tiring way back to the gate as the slop on this sight was much steeper.  
A new series of quakes slowed him down while he kept on throwing looks back over his shoulder. But until now those creatures either had not noticed him or did not care about him. And he was still in the ray of the last sunbeams. Whatever it was he hoped desperately it would stay this way.

When he had reached the highest rock again and had managed to bring at least a halfway secure distance between himself and the creatures a part of the tension eased away. But what should he do now?  
Wait at the gate in hopes of help before food and water had been depleted?  
Try his luck in the other direction at the risk of finding the same conditions there?

By now the sun had set completely while the big moon had parted from the horizon. Eli’s hopes rose that the night however it would be on this planet, would be bright enough to see his surroundings. It would be a weak comfort after what he had found earlier.

Who or what ever had left him here hopefully had a good reason for that as well as a plan that did not end with his death.  
If he only had a chance to communicate with Destiny, after all …  
Eli sighed exasperated. The drone attack of course. He was such an idiot that he had not thought of this earlier. All he had to do was get into the gate’s subspace communication again. With the knife buried somewhere in his backpack he would surely manage to get at the circuits.  
With enough cover he paused at the highest point of the hill to await the next series of quakes. By now he had realized that they came in a certain regularity and if his sense of time was not wrong the next would come soon.

He used the time to drink and eat a little before he got the remote out to check the recorded values of the planet again. Maybe he had missed something that could help …  
He had to look twice to believe what he saw.  
The address of Destiny.  
Inconspicuously it blinked on the small screen. Hastily he changed display and could not believe his luck. There the signal of a second remote showed but it was moving away from him. Eli forgot about his caution, jumped to his feet, going to take the fastest way back to the gate even while he was still packing away his food again. He would absolutely not miss his probably only chance to get of this planet.

Like he had foreseen, another series of quakes began. Now that he knew their pattern he managed to absorb the small tremors with his steps as if he had done nothing else ever. He jumped through two high rocks and nearly collided with a figure familiar to him when the final quake set in. She stumbled and Eli did not think. He grabbed her and drew her close before she could fall.

The quake had hardly ended when she had already drawn back and drew her rifle. “Careful! A fall in this terrain could end nasty,” he said surprised and held up his hands.  
“Eli?!” She looked at him with big eyes and he grinned at her sheepishly for a moment.  
“Exactly him.”  
“How have you…?”  
“Hush, not so loud. We aren’t alone here.” He had not been exactly silent the whole time and they also were far enough away from the cracks but Vanessa’s voice seemed too loud to him now.

She took another step back and still kept her rifle pointed at him.  
“I’m sorry, but is it really you?” she asked, uncertainty clearly in her face, but at least she spoke a bit quieter now. Her long dark hair had gotten a bit disheveled, two strands had gone loose from her pun and fell into her face.

“Yes, it’s me, completely free of nanites. A hundred percent me. I can proof it. When Riley and I had taken the wrong turn by accident once, you wanted to kick our asses… on the other hand this will hardly be enough of a proof for you if you think I’m a hallucination because then I would have the same memories as you anyway. But then I would not have been able to grab you before. And if I have been abducted and cloned by aliens or am controlled by them, it does not proof anything either, so…”  
“Stop.” Eli closed his mouth abruptly and stopped blabbering. „I believe that you are you - not that it was an accident.”  
Eli grinned and did not answer.

“What did you mean by we are not alone here?” She got serious again and looked around. She did not point her rifle at Eli anymore but did not put it away either. He gestured behind himself to the rocks.  
„There is a plateau on the other site where a swarm of giant alien whatevers is crawling around. Considering their high number I would suggest pulling back to the gate and prefer a survey with the kinos from a secure distance.”  
“Show me.”  
Eli groaned grudgingly, turned around and took the lead. Behind the next rock he could already see that the aliens had spread more because the ground in the plateau seemed darker. To his alarm they were also moving in the direction of their position slowly.

“Lieutenant James, this is Reynolds. The quakes have roughened us up quite a bit. Graham fell. Besides a couple of scratches his leg doesn’t look good.”  
Vanessa had gotten out the binoculars with one hand and used the other to answer the radio. She finally had put her rifle away therefor.  
“Understood. Is Graham able to walk?”  
“Yes that should be possible.”  
“Return to the ship but be careful, we aren’t alone on the planet. Rennie, did you copy?”  
“Yes, Lieutenant. I’m okay so far. I reached the top and… Holy…” He seemed to curse something but Eli could not understand it. “What the hell is this?”  
“Tell him he has to pull back. If he gets closer and disturbs them we stand no chance,” Eli warned insistently and Vanessa gave him a skeptical look that clearly showed what she thought about his note. Of course she knew what she was doing without Eli’s help.

“I see it, too. Pull back to the gate, Rennie. I repeat, pull back. Under no circumstances get any closer. We will investigate this later with a kino.“  
„Copy that.“  
„Let’s get back before the next quakes start,“ Vanessa said after she had put the radio and binoculars away.  
“Nothing I would like to do more,” Eli replied relieved. He waited for Vanessa to start walking but she just looked at him expectantly. It took a moment for him to understand then he sighed and rolled his eyes. “Okay okay, I’ll go first but please leave the rifle where it is. It’s really uncomfortable and absolutely not necessary.”  
“You have been away longer than anybody else before. It became more and more unlikely that you are still alive. Nobody knew if and how you would return,” she explained, while they followed the way back to the gate in a quick pace. “And what kind of cloths is that?”  
“The most recent trend among Aza’an. Comfortable, robust and still absolutely chic.” Eli spun around once with outstretched arms and grinned before he became serious again. “I swear I’m me. No alien influence, no plans to take over or destroy Destiny. I just want to come home.”

Before Vanessa was able to answer something airman Rennie caught up with them. He stopped abruptly when he spotted Eli and immediately drew his rifle.  
“Lieutenant?” he asked unsure in the direction of Vanessa while Eli carelessly raised his arms again. “Shitty reaction time, really. And why does everyone feel the need to aim at me? Nobody had done that with Chloe and Rush. I bet Greer will aim at me, too, if he gets the chance. He just doesn’t like me.”  
“Eli!” Vanessa warned and shook her head. “Put down your weapon, Airman. It’s okay.”  
It took a moment until Rennie actually put the weapon away and Eli could take down his hands.  
“Hi,” he greeted the airman with a crooked grin and got a dark look for it. Eli sighed. “You aren’t actually still miffed about being drugged?” he asked directly but did not get an answer. “Okay, but just so you know, I could have used the less gentle method” Eli mumbled, shrugging. Even though he probably wouldn’t have gotten far with it, he added mentally.  
“Enough now, we can discuss this later. It’s time we get back to the ship,” Vanessa said resolutely.

When they were merely a couple of minutes away from the gate, colonel Young’s voice came crackling over the radio. “Lieutenant James, please respond.”  
“Here James.”  
“Reynolds and Graham just returned. Are there any problems?“  
„Not directly sir, we are nearly at the gate. We found aliens and there are earthquakes in regular intervals. The planet isn’t exactly safe.”  
“Understood. We keep the gate open for you.“  
“Thank you, sir … and Colonel?” She looked at Eli and he became nervous. The circumstances under which he had left the ship caught up with him suddenly. Meeting Young after his return was one thought he had played through over and over in the last weeks but he could not estimate how the man would react. In front of the crew probably cautious.

“Yes Lieutenant?” the Colonel asked impatiently when Vanessa did not continue immediately.  
“We found something interesting. Could you…” She was interrupted by a loud bloodcurdling screech whereupon all three of them turned back. It seemed as if a black wave was moving down the slope where they just had been. The aliens had spotted them and the way they were moving towards them did not look like a warm welcome.  
“Oh damn. We do have persecutors, sir. Stay ready and close the gate as soon as we are through.“  
Vanessa did not have to say another word. Eli automatically had started running, closely followed by Rennie and her. They were lucky the gate was already so close and open.

They reached the gate and got onto the ramp but at the last moment Eli hesitated so he stopped the other two, too. He had to admit to himself that it was not only the Colonel who made him nervous. The reaction of the rest of the crew troubled him too. Like Vanessa already had said it was a miracle that he was still alive if you looked at it soberly. There would be distrust he had no illusions about that. He would have to convince them that everything was alright, even if he had his own doubts considering the lost days.

“Eli!”  
Uncertain he looked at Vanessa but he had no time left to react. Rennie grapped his arm and pulled him along through the event horizon. Vanessa was the last one to come through the gate.

On the other site he was greeted by a sight he was quite familiar with. Colonel Young stood behind the console next to Barnes and still had the radio in his hand. TJ kneeled with her back to the gate on the ground and seemed to give Graham’s injured leg a first once over while Reynolds supported him. Morrison and one of his colleagues stood a bit aside, equipped with backpacks. Probably they had been waiting for the okay to go to the planet. Eli did not have the time to take in all of the room.  
The closing gate behind him and the switched clip of a rifle to the right of him seemed deafening in the sudden silence. He automatically lifted his arms while he threw a dark look to Greer who obviously was on shift with sergeant Michaels for securing the gate room.

„Tadaaa, I’m back. And for the record: I would have won that bet,“ he stage whispered to Vanessa who gave him a honest grin for that before she could suppress it.

„Eli?!“ TJ turned abruptly to him. Her surprised look was replaced by joy while Young finally reacted, too. “Greer, put your weapon down.”  
“Thank you, my arms already started falling asleep,” Eli joked uncertainly as Greer thankfully followed the order immediately.

“Eli, you gave us quite a nasty scare,” Young said while he came from behind the console and a couple of steps closer. The distance his words radiated was unexpected. Definitely not what Eli had been wishing for.  
“That was not my intention.” Unwillingly Eli adapted to the distance and had an awkward feeling about what would come next.  
“We are all curious about your story but first TJ is going to check you up.”  
“Of course, what else.” Eli sighed. Could Young not have said that a bit more friendly?  
“Sergeant Greer, would you please take Eli’s backpack.” Eli let the backpack slide from his shoulders. There was nothing in it the others were not allowed to see.

“How did you find him, Lieutenant?” Young turned to Vanessa as if Eli was not there anymore.  
“He found us, sir.”  
“When I returned to the planet with our camp Destiny was already gone and I had no choice but to follow the map in my head in the hopes of catching up with you along the way.” Young could freeze off Eli as much as he wanted this was still about him. That could not be changed.  
“I lost my kino at the last planet and couldn’t go any further.” Eli tried not to let on to his lie. If only one of the men on the planet had taken a closer look at the remote and added up one and one then it would be obvious that something about his story was not right. But nobody spoke up.  
“I was left with the hope that Destiny would show up eventually on the remote and in the meantime I wanted to explore the planet in case that it would take longer. Your timing was perfect. I wouldn’t have wanted to spend the night there. Too crowded for my taste.”

Airman Rennie had stepped away from Eli earlier and went to his comrades. Before someone could ask what Eli meant he continued the explanation. “About six feet big spider like aliens, sir. There were hundreds of them on a plateau about two kilometers south of the gate. They must have noticed us somehow. Shortly before we came through the gate they were directly behind us. This mineral we need, we won’t get it there.”  
“Those critters seem to be sun-shy. They came out when the sun started to set and only moved about in the shadows. If the material is so important you could try it during daylight,” Eli added his observations.  
Colonel Young seemed to consider it for a moment and finally turned to Barnes. “Set up a surveillance with the kinos. Let James and Rennie describe you on which area to concentrate. We will see, if we are going to deal with this planet longer or if the database has any other options for us. Keep me posted.”  
“Yes, sir.”

Meanwhile TJ took care of her patients. “Corporal Reynolds, would you help Graham to the infirmary. I’ll tread him there. There doesn’t seem to be anything broken but the wound has to be washed and clothed. Will you manage it there?”  
“Yes, ma’am,” both man answered in unison and went ahead, one supporting the other. Then she turned to Eli. “Are you coming? The faster you’ll be done.”  
“Do I have a choice?” Eli had the impulse to put his hands into his pockets but as the suit did not have such a thing he had to settle on clasping the seam of the jacket before willing his hands to relax and following her. When they left the room he saw Young giving sergeant Michaels signs. Thereupon the man followed them.

“It’s great to have you back, Eli. We missed you,” TJ said shortly after they had left the gate room. For her sake he forced himself to smile.  
“Me too. I’m sorry it took so long.“  
“You are back now. That’s the most important thing. Chloe will be happy. Brody and Volker too as Rush nearly drove them mad while you were gone.”  
“I didn’t know he cared so much,” Eli replied, fluttering his eyelashes impishly.  
They both grinned.

In the infirmary someone else took the task of handling Graham’s leg so TJ was able to take care of Eli directly.  
“Sit down and take off your jacket. I want to …” She faltered and looked at Eli with wide eyes when he took off the upper part of his suit and showed his bare hands and arms.  
“What?” he asked uncomfortable.  
“Your scars.”  
“Oh, this.” Eli looked at his arms and shrugged awkwardly. So many things had happened that he had completely forgotten about them, and under the long clothes nearly all his skin had been covered until now. “Before the Aza’an took the Lita out I finally started to consciously communicate with them and when they started to understand that the scars were damaged cells they repaired all of them. It’s still odd. I looked like a shedding snake for a couple of days. It itched like hell, too.”  
“Take of your shirt, the pants too” TJ said resolutely after she had recovered from the surprise and Eli sighed.  
“Is that really necessary?”  
“Yes.”  
Eli clasped the simple shirt he was wearing under the suit at the seam and pulled it over his head, the pants followed, leaving him in his boxers. He had absolutely no scar left. It was actually a bit creepy. Instead for everyone visible now was the chain around his neck that had been hidden under the fabric and the tattoo on his left lower costal arch. It consisted of a string of circles and spirals and did not seem to make any sense.  
A tattoo whose source he could not remember.

“Where did you get that?” TJ asked promptly and touched it carefully. Eli twitched away. “Don’t!” She looked at him surprised and a bit suspiciously and Eli tried to smile. “I’m sorry. That came after the nanites and it’s still a bit sour.” Eli thought of saying something about the consequences of a hangover but kept quiet. He did not want to give away himself.  
„It’s just a memory, nothing important.“ A memory he did not have. “It’s cooler than the scars anyway … can I get dressed now? It’s a bit chilly.”  
“In a minute. And what kind of chain is this? Is it new?”  
“Yes, a gift.” Instinctively Eli reached for the pendant that the phials in an intricate pattern, making them nearly invisible. He hoped nobody would get the idea to take the chai from him.  
“It looks nice,” TJ said and left it at that. She walked around him once and looked at his skin, probably in search of any parasites or something. He let it happen awkwardly and was relieved when he was finally allowed to get dressed again.

“Now, I just need some blood, then I’m done.”  
Obediently Eli held his arm up for her. While she took what she needed he looked over to Young who had come in by now but stayed quiet. The sharp look at his arms and neck had not gone by him unnoticed.  
“I was already expecting you to be pissed at me, but do you have nothing to say at all?” Eli asked when the silence between them stretched.  
“Why do you think I’m pissed?”  
“Because I went away behind your back. I know that you did not like it.”  
“You are back and obviously better. That’s everything that counts for now.” Young’s voice had an undertone conveying so many things left unspoken. Obviously Eli’s return was not everything that counted.

Eli looked away just in time to see Chloe running into the room. Because TJ was done with him for now he had both arms free to catch her and return her embrace.  
“Eli! Oh my god, it’s really you. I’m so glad you are back. We really missed you.”  
“Hey Chloe.” He closed his eyes for a moment end enjoyed the closeness to her. Young really had no idea what he had been through in the past three weeks. Eli might not be able to remember everything but the memories he had were enough for a lifetime.

„I missed you too. Sorry that I went without saying anything and that it took so long,” he said quietly. It seemed to become his mantra for the upcoming time.  
“Doesn’t matter now, you are back.”  
“Yes.” Behind her he could see Matt entering followed by more crewmembers. Obviously word had spread about his return and everyone seemed to want to see it with their own eyes. If this continued the room would get awfully crowded.

He hardly managed to get some distance between Chloe and himself. “So, shoot your questions so we can get it behind us.” Eli had to yawn. It felt like an eternity that he had woken in front of the gate. But following his words everyone started talking at once. The tactic had not been the cleverest.

“Enough,” Young demanded loud enough for everyone to fall silent. “This is still an infirmary. I will talk to Eli and as soon as TJ is done he can answer all your questions in the mess hall. And now out everyone who is not supposed to be here … That includes you, Chloe,” Young added when she did not seem to want to leave Eli’s site.  
When the room was nearly empty again, Eli turned back to Young. “That we have a conversation would actually require you talking to me and not just staring at me again.”  
“At the moment it’s not important what I have to say. Your story is more interesting.”  
“Okay.” Eli sat comfortably on the gurney and tried to piece together his memories reasonably. But before he could start they were interrupted again.

Like from thin air Rush stood suddenly in the doorway, just staring silently at them.  
“Hey,” Eli said a bit embarrassed but did not get an answer. Rush just turned and went away again. Eli was left behind confused. “What the hell was that for?”  
“Probably he wanted to convince himself of your return. Helping you hardly earned him any sympathy points. Especially not with me.”  
“Oh.” Stricken, Eli looked to the floor. Getting Rush in to trouble like this with his request had completely slipped his mind at some point. He had to talk to him later definitely.

“You were about to tell me what happened,” Young interrupted Eli’s thoughts.  
“Yeah, right. After I had left the ship I followed the addresses on the list. Rush surely told you about it. There weren’t any problems along the way. And no, it wasn’t easy for me. Before the last address I considered turning back a couple of times. At the end I went through. On the other site I met the Aza’an but before I could say or do anything the Lita took over communication. It’s a feeling hard to describe. I was linked to everyone nearby. Thoughts, feelings, pictures. The excitement about my appearance was so intense that I got everything at once. It was too much for me and I went out.

When I came to they had already figured most of what had happened. Xaven’s friends - the Aza’an Matt had killed - had taken the task of taking care of me. At the beginning that was no fun but I learned to communicate consciously with them and when they finally understood the whole picture, and what it meant for me that I had come to them, they helped me.   
“That could have ended differently.”  
“I know but I wouldn’t have lasted much longer if I had stayed. My condition got worse while I was there and when they understood what the problem was they calculated I would have had left roughly a week before my immune system would have burned me from the inside fighting the Lita. TJ couldn’t have done anything about it.  
“These aliens seem to be highly advanced. Rush and the team didn’t get any further with their attempt of decoding the data from the crashed ship. But if I understood it correctly they have all of your knowledge now. Don’t you think …”  
“They are no danger to us, if it’s that what you’re implying,” Eli interrupted him.  
“Are you sure?”  
„Yes, they have no interest in attacking Destiny and us. It would be of no use to them.”  
“Would they be able to help us get back to Earth?”  
“No, they have no resources for that at the moment.”  
“Did you ask? If it’s only the resources we could …”  
“No!” Eli interrupted Young again, too forceful this time and looked away hastily. „They wouldn’t have been able to help us. They have their own problems. Just leave it at that,” he asked quietly and knew that his behavior had raised only more questions he did not want to answer at the moment.  
“So you didn’t tell me the whole story.”  
“No, of course not. I know it’s not helpful and that you are just concert about question of whether I’m an danger for this ship or not. I am not. Really. Everything else … You have no idea what happened there. It wasn’t just a ‘hi, heal me, let’s have a party and then I’ll be gone’. I need more time for the whole story.”

Eli was thankful when TJ came back, a soft smile on her lips. “No Nanites and at first sight no other foreign particles. Your blood looks clean, Eli.” He returned her smile and spared her the ‘I told you so’.  
“Thank you, TJ,” Young said and she went to turn her attention back to her other tasks.

Eli looked decidedly at Young. “I never wanted to stay away for so long. If I could have, I would have returned earlier. I can’t change it now. I don’t know what happened here while I was gone and I’m sorry for it but we have to continue somehow.”  
Young kept silent for a while. Eli was not able to estimate what he was thinking so he was grateful when he finally spoke.  
“Take the time you need but don’t wait too long. I await that you give a full report on Earth soon and this one is going to be complete. In the meantime I have no other choice but to keep you under watch. You might not have any nanites anymore but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t influenced in some other way.”  
“Of course, what else.”  
“I’ll accompany you to the mess. Until then you should have come up with a better reaction to the question about help from your new friends. A lie will only make things worse.”  
“I know, thank you.”

As soon as he had entered the mess hall and Young had left he was assailed with questions. He answered them patiently while he satisfied his hunger with a plate of Becker’s current cookery. Questions that came to close to topics he wasn’t ready to share yet, he evaded skillfully. He did not want the pity or the understanding that was not because in his opinion there was no understanding for what had happened.  
It was easy to entertain them with descriptions of the moon and the technic, distracting them from the things that had delayed him the most. Luckily he did not have to play the entertainer all by himself. Like he told his story he learned what had happened during his absence from the others.

In all the hustle and bustle and besides his growing tiredness he did not miss that among those who openly showed their joy about his return were those who kept their distance and distrustful looks. It was like he had guessed.  
Chloe who seemed to be glued to his site helped him blending it out most of the time. It took some reassuring and promises to get rid of her later. If he had let her she probably would have stayed awake by his bedside to make sure he did not disappear again. When he was finally alone in his quarters, for a moment, he was afraid of the dreams that would await him. But he was so tired that for the first in a long time he fell into his own bed and actually fell asleep deep and hard.

o

The next morning his first goal was finding Lisa who, in the end, he found on the observation deck. At this time there was hardly anyone around and those who kept stealing questioning distrustful glances at him he ignored as good as possible. He really understood their caution but it still hurt and he had no idea how to convince them that he was not a remote-controlled puppet with the goal of spying on or destroying Destiny.

At the moment, his only choice was to make one step after the other. Because of that he went directly to Lisa who was sitting alone on a bench seemingly staring thoughtlessly into space. The big sunglasses still covering her eyes answered the question he had been wanting to ask.  
“Lisa?” he asked quietly to not startle her but she still twitched a bit.  
“Eli?”  
“Yes. May I sit with you for a while?“  
“Of course.”

Eli took a relieved breath and set down, his back to the door where his permanent shadow was lurking. He had agreed to the watch but he did not necessarily like it. And he did not have a choice anyway. To distract himself he concentrated on the conversation.  
“How are you?”  
“Fine.”  
“Really?”  
Lisa sighed. “Not really. I feel superfluous. My eyes don’t get better. I can do calculations now and then but most of the time I feel like a burden and don’t know what to do with myself. And you?”  
“Fine, too.”

Lisa turned her face to Eli and crooked her head slightly. “I might be blind but not deaf. You aren’t even back a day and everyone is talking already. The time without you has pulled down many of us. Everyone wanted you to return. But now they don’t quite believe that it’s really you so they keep their distance, right?”  
“Yes, but what am I supposed to do? I can’t force them to believe me.”  
She shrugged. “I believe you.”  
“Thank you.” Eli felt a little lighter because it made it easier for him. He checked understatedly if someone was listening in on them but nobody was near so he kept speaking quietly. “I don’t know how much you actually noticed but there is something I want to explain to you. So just listen to me, okay?”  
Lisa knitted her eyebrows thoughtfully and then slowly nodded.  
“Xaven had infested me with his own nanites. Those have been in the blood of the Aza’an for so many generations that they had started to deviate from their original programming. They evolved, combined with the cells of their carriers and that is how the Lita came to life.  
The Aza’an were able to get all Litas out of me and I’m really only me again. No mutations, no mind control, no danger. But the Aza’an still have the original simple nanites that can be programmed for individual tasks. It’s part of their everyday life. I …” He faltered.  
“I allowed them to study me and along with the nanites they got all my knowledge. Before I returned to Destiny I asked them a favor.”  
Inconspicuously Eli pulled the pendant from under his shirt and loosened the blue phial off it. He took Lisa’s hand and put the small glass container into her palm before he let go again. “Those are nanites programmed to repair the damage to your eyes. That is their only task. After they have done that they will switch off and will be swept out of your eyes like any foreign object. They don’t go into your blood, they don’t reproduce, they don’t evolve. The problem is that there is no guaranty that it will work properly, just my word that I won’t let anything happen to you again. I couldn’t safe you but maybe I can heal you.”

Lisa swallowed dryly. Eli could see that she was fighting her emotions even though he could not see her eyes behind the sunglasses. “Why didn’t you go to TJ with this, or the Colonel?” she asked quietly.  
“Because I want it to be your decision. This is only about you. Nobody should dictate you that it is too risky and forbid you the try just out of mistrust against ne or the Aza’an. But you don’t have to keep it a secret I just wanted it to be in your hands.”  
After a short hesitation Eli continued. “I would have brought some for TJ too if it had been possible but it’s not that easy. Repairing a couple of broken nerves is one thing, manipulating DNA that neither I nor the Aza’an understand is something completely different.”  
“Oh Eli.”  
Eli stood abruptly. “I should go. My shadow surely starts to get bored if I sit around too long. I can’t be responsible for that.”  
A smile crept into Lisa’s mouth corners. „Thank you, Eli. I will consider this.“  
„Take all the time in the world. Just give me a hands up before you tell someone so I can go take cover. This little secret won’t help winning back the trust of everyone else but it’s worth it.” He went back to airman Tracey before Lisa could say anything else, and grinned at him.  
“I’m starving. If you don’t have any plans right now you can keep me company at breakfast.”

If he kept up his happy mask for long enough it maybe would not be a mask anymore soon.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would be really happy, if someone could brighten my currently grey days with a little comment :3


	13. Unsavable 1/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While this chapter is without beta again, I'll upload a corrected chapter 11 simultaneously. I was shocked how many mistakes the chapter had. I'm so sorry -.-  
> I hope this chapter is not as bad.  
> Tell me what you think.  
> And I'm still looking for addional beta readers.

Deep in thought Nick went to the mess to get his breakfast. Technically, he only wanted to eat something fast and get back to work afterwards, but then he saw Eli. He sat in a corner all by himself, a spoon in one hand, stirring the contents of a bowl. With the other hand, now and then, he was typing something on the keyboard of his laptop. But mostly he seemed to read. Three men in uniform sat three tables away, talking. One of them probably was Eli’s guard. Occasionally some of the other present glanced distrustfully into Eli’s direction, but no one talked to him. Nick knew this kind of behavior. It had been directed towards him for a long time, but contrary to Eli he had enjoyed his peace.

Nick had not exchanged any words with Eli since his return two days ago. Not on purpose. When he had seen him in the infirmary he just had been relieved. But because sentimentalities were not his strong suit he had not said anything at all in the end. Suddenly, his head had been empty. Completely untypical for him. After that meeting he had gone back to work which was in places on the ship where Eli had no access at the moment.

On the spur of the moment Nick changed directions and with his bowl in hand sat opposite Eli at the table. His work would go nowhere.  
“Good morning, Eli.”  
Eli interrupted his reading and looked at him surprised. “Good morning, Rush,” he answered uncertainly.  
“Have you found something interesting yet?” Nick nodded in the direction of the laptop. He knew from Brody that Eli had someone copy him the medical segments of the archive they had gotten from their descendants. After the searching programs had not brought any results, he now used his free time to look manually for leads on healing TJ’s illness, even though there were others aboard who had already done the same thing. That Eli was not allowed near the ship’s internal computer systems was an annoying measure that would be canceled soon, hopefully.  
“Not really. It’s really depressing to read about all kinds of illnesses without finding a clue to what we really need. Besides, I might oversee something as medical science is neither my area of expertise nor my favorite topic.”  
“I see.”  
“What are you working on at the moment?” Eli closed the laptop and put it aside.  
“Repairs at the ship, optimizing energy output, the usual. It’s time you’re allowed back on the bridge.”  
“Tell that Young,” Eli replied, sighing.  
“I will do that, even though he doesn’t really listen to me at the moment.” Still, Nick planed on actually trying it. There were things that went much faster with Eli’s help. Admittedly, a small part of him had its doubts about Eli’s current trustworthiness, too, but he just needed him.

Luckily, Eli ignored his comment. “I heard you kept some souvenirs from the crashed ship.”  
“Yes, we took a couple of pure crystals from the ship and found something like a database. I got it running but I couldn’t find any reference for the language. The pattern identification takes forever and it won’t take me far anyway. Without a translation the data is nearly worthless. Anyway, now that you are back it’s not a priority anymore.” Nick shrugged.

Needlessly long Eli chewed on a piece of vegetable, then he suddenly said: “I think it still would be worth it to have access as long as you have grabbed the right memory. Shall I help you with the translation? I don’t get anywhere with this anyway.”  
Nick paused. “You can read their writing?”  
Sheepishly Eli rubbed his neck and shrugged. “The nanites did not only copy all my memories they also left a lot of information in my head, memories from Xaven’s life. I can’t really use it consciously. There is a lot of chaos that only causes headaches. But if I relax enough, fragments rise to the surface. It’s not like with the hallucinations before. I don’t have an emotional connection anymore. Probably, I won’t be able to translate everything, but at least it would be a pastime that would be more fun and more successful.”  
“Actually, that would be helpful. Can you remember how the crystal drive worked?”  
“No, sadly not. I only know that it was not the actual drive of the ship but some material they found on a planet. At least, on the moon of the Aza’an I did not see any of that stuff. The contents of the database would be helpful for this, too.”  
Nick thought about this and did not reply anything.

They continued to eat in silence until Nick pushed his empty bowl away. “I’m going to copy the data from the alien memory onto your laptop now, but it will take some time. Then you can build a translation program,” he said while he stood up. “I might have something else you could occupy yourself with in the meantime. An equation. You should like it.“  
Eli looked at him puzzled and shrugged. “Sure, why not. Do you have it here?”  
“No, I nodded at in the corridor.”  
Eli thought about it for a moment and then seemed to know exactly what Nick meant. “Cool. I haven’t been there in a long time.”  
“Let’s go.” Nick took away his used dishes. Eli followed him, the laptop under one arm, grinning happily. That was more fitting for the boy than the thoughtful dark brooding that had dominated his expressions before. With Eli they automatically were followed by his shadow. Nick ignored him stoically and went ahead. As soon as he knew Eli busy with the equation and the translation he would be able to concentrate better on his tasks himself.

The corridor - his place to think - was still of use even though he did not spend as much time here anymore since they had unlocked the bridge. The walls were still covered by equations and notes. In some places he had even written on the floor by now. Here and there were little pieces of chalk strewn around. Luckily it was easy enough to produce new chalk so normally he had always enough supplies.

“I like this place,” Eli said, looking around. His shadow had stayed at the end of the corridor out of earshot. “The last time I was here was during stasis. But only once, because the corridor was outside of the provided area.”  
Nick did not answer. It was not necessary to tell Eli he had seen it on the recordings that were supposed to be deleted. He just turned to an area of the wall where he had cleaned some space and then written an equation in the middle of it.  
“What is it?” Eli asked directly.  
“A theory. You will find out what it is about yourself. I want you to write an algorithm for it. It’s hardly a challenge it’s just extensive which I don’t have any time for at the moment. Write it here on the wall or directly into your laptop. I’m going to implement it into the system later after I looked at it.

Eli gave him a skeptical look, pushed the laptop into his hands and turned back to the equation thoughtfully. Nick knew this expression. In his head, Eli was already busy making sense of the equation and developing solutions. To not fall to the temptation of engaging himself with the problem, Nick turned away to return to the bridge.

„I’m sorry that I tragged you into this. I didn’t want to disturb the peace between you and Young,” Eli said quietly when Nick had just taken a couple of steps. Nick turned back to him, crossed his arms in front of his chest and leant against the wall. He was used to the traces of chalk on his clothes.  
“We are grownups, Eli. If we argue it’s certainly not your fault. And it’s not that bad this time. As you can see I’m still alive.”  
“Still.”  
Nick was not comfortable with this conversation but he waited and Eli continued to speak. “You would have liked it there. The damaged ship did not look like it, because it had been built in a hurry, but actually their technology is quite elegant. It was interwoven with everything, unobtrusive and beautiful. I wish you could have seen it. And the others, too. If I had not been alone, maybe we could have…” Eli stopped and balled his hands into fists before he took a controlled breath and stooped down to pick up a piece of chalk.

Nick rubbed his nose bridge and gave in to his curiosity. “What happened, Eli?”  
“Something no one could have stopped, because the events I got into had only been a result of other events that had begun years ago. But understanding this on an intellectual and emotional level are two different things.”  
“You will certainly find a way that works for you.”  
“Probably.”

Eli put the chalk to the wall and started scribbling signs and numbers. So the conversation was over and Nick pushed himself of the wall to finally get going. He had hardly taken two steps when Eli’s voice stopped him again. “You missed me, didn’t you?”  
Nick did not turn back. Eli’s company was more comfortable than the company of most of the others aboard. Unobtrusive, effective, inspiring, entertaining, hardly annoying, so one could ignore it. So, yes he had missed Eli, but he would not tell that anyone. The least Eli himself. It was only his concern. „Concentrate on the equation. I will send someone to drop off your laptop later.”  
When he hastily left the corridor he was accompanied by Eli’s laughter and the vigorous sound of chalk on metal.

oOo

Eli had spent two hours in the corridor when Volker – obviously feeling uncomfortable - came to bring him his laptop with the reference list for the Aza’an database. With that he had gone back to his room and spent all day there working on the translation. It had been a challenge after all. Not because he could not understand the signs on the screen – that was surprisingly easy. But because he had to transfer their meaning into their own language and because the text structure was so different from their own. So the base was more of a collection of key words to find out which parts of the database would be of interest for them and which parts he would have to take a closer look at. It would take weeks to translate everything correctly.

Finally he had given the laptop back to Rush for a first look, and for the last couple of hours he had gone back to the corridor, working on the algorithm. Pretty fast, he had learned that Rush’s equation was nothing more than the mathematical expression of the question what kind of program was behind Destiny’s projections and what kind of goals it had. They had shut down the simulation that had tested the colonel but Eli had seen himself that the projections were still there. So they still had not identified the source of the program. What Eli was supposed to develop was a diagnosis that would go deeper then all their analysis of the system before. He already had ideas how to do this.

Most of the time, his tasks had managed to keep him from thinking about anything else. Only a few times a thought about Young had come between alien vocabulary and mathematical equations.  
He had hardly registered that his guard had changed a few times because, thankfully, they kept out of sight when he was not walking around.  
It had been one of them that had reminded Eli now and then to eat something and drink enough.

Chloe had visited him two times, but luckily she had left after a couple of minutes every time when she had realized that he concentrated on his work. He was thankful that she cared about him and that she did not ignore him. At the same time he felt pressured by it. It was not her closeness what he wanted. She had the effect of leading his thoughts into directions he did not need at the moment. It made her presence taxing.

Eli drew a line under the last equation and put away the chalk. It was enough for today. He would continue in the morning after breakfast. Yawning he went to the end of the corridor where Marsden stood. The giant was one of the most likeable persons for Eli at the moment. He did not talk much but did not show any antipathy for Eli either. It was comfortable.

“Do you play check?” Eli asked and Marsden shook his head.  
“Bummer, we could have killed some time. It’s probably boring to just stand around all the time.” He took a glance at his mobile – it was just after nine pm – and considered what to do with the evening. It was still too early for bed even if he started to get tired.  
“Cards,” Marsden said suddenly and Eli looked at him, confused for a moment.  
“What?”  
“We could play cards. I know that a couple of people are meeting in the common room near the quarters.”  
“Are you sure? Currently I’m not the most welcomed guest at a party.”  
“That is not true. Most are just suspicious because with your abilities and your knowledge you can harm us all and the more you retreat the worse it gets. If you play cards with us it might help reduce a bit of the distrust and as long as you are with us you can’t do anything. Everyone will know that. So come on.”

Eli was surprised by how clear Marsden was able to measure the situation. After all, most of the time, the man had left a simple though loyal impression on Eli. It only showed that after all this time together on this ship they still did not know everything about each other.  
“So, cards it is. Cool.”

oOo

// For a while Eli was floating in a state at the edge of consciousness. He was not able to fight his way to the surface of his confusing dreams. Only the echo of a voice in his head – many voices melted into one – finally helped him to get awake. He could still feel his fever and obviously the hallucinations were still there, too. They seemed so real. He was lying in a bed a thin cover spread over him, made from a fabric that was vaguely familiar to him. The room he was in was nearly empty, but thanks to high narrow windows it was suffused with light.

Resigned Eli reached out his hand to the Aza’an that was standing next to the bed, watching him. When he touched the hard skin on the upper side of the arm he could feel warmth.  
Touched.  
Eli startled, when he realized that the alien next to him was not an imagination. At the same time he felt a wave of irritation that was not his own. Hastily Eli pulled his hand back and skipped away from the Aza’an. But he did not come far as his body hardly obeyed his will. He felt terribly weak and this small movement already left his muscles shivering with exhaustion. The fever must have gotten even worse.  
How long had he been unconscious? And where had he gotten himself into now? How was he supposed to talk with those creatures when the hallucinations always had him left as an outside observer? His vocal cords were not even close to being able to imitate their strange language. And he could not use the Lita either. They had their own will.

Eli licked his dry lips. They were rough and he was terribly thirsty. He closed his eyes and for once he wished TJ to his side, with a bottle of water and a cool piece of cloth. Maybe then the thoughts in his head would not be so sluggish anymore. It was like a fog that was slowly smothering him. Like this he would never find a solution.

A touch at his arm startled him again. The Aza’an was holding a flat bowl in his dangerous looking claws in his direction. Eli sat up clumsily and looked at it. There was a clear fluid in it. Water? Or some kind of poison? But if they had wanted to kill him, he would not have woken up at all. Still, he was not sure. That he possessed all these memories, these feelings, did not mean that he could trust those aliens blindly.  
Pictures of drinking humans and Aza’an alike came to his mind when he made no move to take the bowl, together with a new wave of irritation.  
“Alright already. I understood,“ Eli grumbled and took the bowl from the Aza’an with shaking hands. He spilled some drops when he moved it to his lips. His doubts did not want to vanish but after the first sip had made its way through his dust dry mouth down his throat he drank it all without a pause. Afterwards, the empty bowl was taken from his hands.

Was it really that easy? He just had to think what he wanted to say and the Lita would pass it on? Or had it just been coincidence?  
Three more Aza’an entered the room before Eli was able to test his theory. He slid back on the bed until he could feel a cool wall in his back. Fear left his heart racing in addition to the strain. But it was not his feeling. Not with this strength. It came from the Lita. They knew who those Aza’an were.  
They stopped in front of the bed and exchanged words with the Aza’an who had given Eli the water. Words Eli did not understand. Then they all looked at him arms crossed in front of their bodies, so the right claw was holding the left wrist and vice versa. It took Eli a moment but then he was able to recognize the gesture that he had seen a couple of times in his hallucinations. It was a greeting, a sign that one was not a danger to the other. Eli slowly lifted his hands and imitated it. At the same time he realized that the feeling from the Lita was not fear but excitement and respect. And something else became clear to him: Like they were a puzzle to be solved for him, he was one for them. He had to learn to communicate with them about more than basic stuff and fast before his time was up. //

oOo

Lisa sat alone on the bed in Ronald’s quarters while he was on nightshift. Actually, it was their common quarters by now. She had not slept in her own for a long time. And still, even him she had not told about the small glass phial. She loved Ronald and she was aware of how much he mistrusted Eli. It was just his personality, and everything that had happened had only made his mistrust stronger.  
She was afraid. Afraid her trust in Eli was wrong.  
Afraid of not being herself anymore like it had happened to Chloe or Vanessa. A danger to everyone. Or that she would become ill like Eli. She had not seen in which condition Eli had left the ship, but the others had described it to her clearly.  
But she was even more afraid of being trapped in this darkness forever. Dependent from others, a burden for others. TJ’s diagnosis had not changed. Her eyes had to heal by themselves and the longer it took the less likely a recovery became.

In an unwatched moment Eli had explained to Lisa how to open the phial and that she had to applicate the nanites like eye drops. They were in a fluid. At that point she had still been unsure, but in the last hours she had been in the way again, had been helpless. Now she had come to a decision. She would rather take this risk then stay on the sidelines any longer.

With shaking hands she tried to open the phial, but the first try did not work. She took a deep breath and forced her fingers to cooperate, to hold still. Then she tried again with more success and dribbled the contents into her eyes before she could change her mind.  
She had kept the phial with her all the time so the fluid was warm and not cold like the ones she had gotten when she had had an ophthalmitis once. Lisa had to blink, nothing else happened. Naturally, the nanites were no miracle cure. They needed time to do their work. Hopefully. Nervously she closed her eyes and lied down. For a while she was kept awake by her nervousness, but finally she fell asleep nonetheless. 

oOo

Everett returned from a meeting with Rush. It had become late because Rush had had more to say than expected. Also, they had combined their talk with a couple parties of check. Something Everett had missed in the last weeks, if he was honest.

According to Rush the database of the seed ships had shown another planet where they could find the mineral needed for their repairs. In the morning, as soon as one of the robots was finished with a minor repair on the outside of the ship they would continue their journey. So they did not have to engage in a probably deadly fight with those aliens. By now he had seen records of the swarm and he really did not want a confrontation with them.

Also, Rush had mentioned foreseeable progress with the Aza’an database thanks to Eli’s translation. Everett’s feelings about that were twisted. On one hand any kind of information was helpful, on the other hand it was useless to keep Eli away from the ship’s systems and still allow him to work like that. Eli would be clever enough to use this little input for full access to Destiny. Everett had no doubts about that.

At this point Rush had openly talked about his thoughts of keeping Eli away from the computers. He obviously did not trust him a hundred percent either, but it was cumbersome and time-consuming to check Eli’s work two or three times. Everett had acknowledged his point of view and kept from letting this become a lengthy discussion. Even though, according to the guards, Eli had not shown any conspicuous behavior yet, Everett was not willing to let go of his caution. It could cost them all their lives. But Rush was right, the mistrust was not a permanent maintainable condition.

Unavoidably he had been reminded that he still had not had the open conversation with Eli he had planned to have. After all, he had not talked to Eli since his return. There had always been something else to do. Meetings, paperwork, a visit to Earth… excuses he would eventually run out of, if one looked more closely.

Another point on Rush’s list were the crystals. They had not come farther with them either. They still did not know what about them was to generate so much energy that it could be used for a drive. Morrison had mentioned a colleague in this field of expertise, who Rush wanted to bring aboard. That would be easy enough to arrange. If they could solve that puzzle and build a suitable technology it might be a possibility to add enough additional energy to the stargate to get a stable connection to Earth. A really small hope but after all they had to follow every lead.

The rest of the reports were small things and Everett was grateful that Rush did not make any problems for once. In his typical rough way he had seemed quite optimistic and that was really comforting. So Everett had the more opportunity to worry about Eli. He probably would not put up with this situation for much longer. But this was a problem for another day.

Everett was tired and all he wanted was to go to bed, but on the way to his quarters he came past the central common room. He could hear happy voices from there. He stopped in the shadows of the passage and watched the group playing cards. Eli was among them and if Everett had not known the events of the last weeks it would have looked as if everything was normal. The appearance was deceiving but calming for the moment. He watched them a couple of minutes and then turned away to finally go to sleep.

o

„Ah, damn it, I’m out.“ Frustrated Eli threw his cards on the table. He had just caught a bad hand. „Not my day.“  
Two other players followed his lead, Marsden had already quit earlier and was only watching. He had been right. After some hesitation in the beginning, everyone had concentrated on playing poker and they had treated Eli like always. The evening was really fun and for a while it was exactly the kind of diversion he had needed.

When Eli leaned back he saw a movement from the corner of his eyes. He turned around and just saw Young turning away, disappearing in the shadows of the corridor. Thanks to that he lost all interest in the game.  
He yawned, which was not even faked, and stood up. “I think it’s enough for me for today. I’m about to fall asleep.” A questioning look to Marsden was enough to get the man on his feet while Eli followed a bit slower.  
They said their goodnights and left the room.  
“Thank you, that was really great,” Eli said as soon as they were out of earshot.  
“Sure, anytime,” Marsden replied calmly.  
“Uhm, can we take a little detour? I wanted to ask the colonel something.”  
“Now? It’s late already. I don’t think that...“  
“He is still awake. I just saw him walking past us.”  
“Okay.” Marsden gave in and they changed directions.

Eli did not know, if it was a good idea to go see Young now, or how he should say what was going around in his head. In any case he had no desire to lie awake half the night and wonder if he should have done it.  
Among all the reactions Young’s distance was the most disturbing for him. Especially, after Eli had unintentionally gotten used to his calming closeness. He thought now was as good as any time to sort that out.

When they reached Young’s quarters Eli knocked before he could backtrack. Moments later the door opened and Young looked at him surprised. “Eli? What is it?”  
“Can we talk?”  
“It’s late. Can it wait until morning?” Young looked tired.  
Eli shook his head and Young sighed. “Okay, if you insist. Go ahead.”  
After a short glance back to Marsden, Eli stepped closer to Young. “In private?”  
Young hesitated, but then nodded and stepped aside so Eli could enter. Young closed the door behind him.  
“So, what is it? Are you ready to go to Earth?” he asked. Eli shook his head shortly.  
“Do you finally want to tell me directly what happened while you were with those aliens?”  
“They are called Aza’an,” Eli replied automatically, and shook his head again.  
“So what, Eli?” Young insisted visibly impatient.  
Eli searched for words while is gaze wandered over to the bed. Straightforwardness was probably the best even though not the easiest way right now. “I hate that you are so distanced towards me and I can’t lose the feeling that you want to tell me something but just don’t do it.”  
“That is what you wanted to talk about with me?” Young replied. “This is really not the right time for this kind of conversation.”  
“If not now when else? You always evade me,” Eli insisted and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Just spit it out, whatever you want to say. By now you must have a whole list of things you want to say. You will feel better afterwards.”  
“I doubt that, Eli. Especially as you seem to ignore most of the things I say recently. You took Rush a bit too serious as an example.”  
“This is not Rush’s fault and I’m already suitably sorry.”  
“But that hardly helps. Are you even aware of what your disappearance has caused?”  
Eli hesitated, then he nodded slowly. “Yes, I heard it from the others. But that does not change the fact that I had to go, immediately. Not after endless discussions about the pros and cons, the ifs and buts. As it turned out the timing was tight enough.”  
“And another one of these hints. That doesn’t help.”  
“I know. We could have this discussion forever and would always go in circles even if I would tell you everything. I’m sorry I had to do this behind your back, really, but I had to go and you know it and you wouldn’t have let me, or far too late. The question, that is left, is can you leave this behind you and accept that I get more and more secure with every experience I made out there and that I won’t follow you or Rush blindly anymore?”  
Young went over to his desk and leant against it, hands braced on it. “This is not about me getting over it, Eli, but about keeping the order. Probably you remember our beginnings when we had serious problems with it. I really welcome you getting stronger and more secure. But ignoring orders will have consequences for everyone, military personal or not. If I let it slip, others will follow. You took Rush as a bad example, others will take you as an example. If I don’t draw the line now and put you into your place, chaos will reign again, and it did too much damage the first time already. Do you understand this?”  
“Yes, quite clearly.” Eli could not say much against this point of view. It was frustrating.

“You lost every bit of trust in me, did you?”  
“Partly, yes,” Young admitted without digression.  
Eli sighed in resignation. “At least in this you are honest with me.” Belatedly Eli realized that his words had been a perfect base for Young to blame him for his own mistrust. But he did not take it. An uncomfortable pause rose between them that Young finally broke by pushing of the desk.  
“Was that everything for today? The day was long and I would like to get some sleep now.”  
“No,” Eli replied without thinking.  
By now Young seemed visibly impatient.  
Eli got two steps closer to him and pushed his hands in his pockets. “The other question I wanted to ask is unfitting under this condition but… will you continue to keep me on distance or can you accept me getting close again?”  
Silently Young crossed his arms in front of his chest in obvious defense. The gesture said more than a thousand words and Eli hesitated. If he was honest he had ignored any kind of defense up until now. Why should he start to respect it now? He took another step in Young’s direction.  
“What do you want, Eli?”  
“A lot, but at the moment it would be enough if you would talk with me again, like normal persons. If I could come here without an excuse. If I…” He stopped. There were borders he had to tear down with a bit more sensitiveness than others.  
“I remember vaguely that we had a conversation like this before. And I’ll ask the same question again. Why me?”  
„Because you are the only one who makes me feel at peace, if you aren’t busy pushing me away. I did not choose this. And I’m not stupid. Since I’m able to think clearly again I had enough occasions to think about it. Do you think this is easy for me? Is it really so repulsive for you?” Eli had started to gesture wildly. He was too excited to keep his hands still.  
“What am I supposed to say?”  
“The truth?” Eli took another step and with it was only an arm’s length away from Young. He could see exactly how the man thought about it and started a couple of times to say something, but in the end did not. When he finally spoke, it was not what Eli wanted to hear.  
“I told you that this has to stop and that is final. Everything else doesn’t matter.”  
“Coward!” Eli said and turned away. At the door he turned back again. “If you have to absolutely mistrust me let me give you a reason at least. I brought something for Lisa’s eyes. I hope it will heal her. See? That’s how easy it is with the truth.“  
„What did you give her, Eli?“ Young asked, but Eli had already opened the door to the corridor and did not want to hear anything else.  
“Ask her yourself in the morning. Good night, Colonel Young,” he said overly polite and only took a short glance back while Marsden came to his site again.  
Young replied nothing.  
Eli had not expected much else and was thankful. It had been stupid and childish to mention Lisa.

oOo

„Wallace!“  
Eli flinched in surprise. After the conversation with Young the other night he had slept miserably and therefor was tired and lacking in concentration. He had decided to stay in bed and note occasional thoughts to Rush’s algorithm.   
“Wallace!” It seemed to be ages that someone had called him by his surname. Even Rush and Young hardly did it anymore. And if they did it hardly meant anything good.  
Ignoring it did not seem to be an option.  
“What?” he asked irritated, and looked over to Greer who had entered his quarters without asking. The dark looking soldier promised nothing good.  
“Stay away from Lisa.”  
“What?” Eli blinked at Greer bewildered. The words made no sense.  
“You are to stay away from Lisa. I don’t care if the colonel lets you walk around freely. Those aliens never healed you and let you come back out of the goodness of their hearts. I don’t trust you at all. So stay away.” Greer had come alarmingly close. Too close for Eli’s taste. He glanced past him to the door where his guard – not Marsden – hung around and acted as if he did not see anything. Traitor. The peace from the evening before did not seem to count for everyone. But what else was he supposed to expect.

“Uhm, no.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“No, I won’t stay away.” Suicide, Eli thought, but he stood up straight and looked at Greer directly. “I understand you, really, but I won’t be intimidated by you. I like Lisa and if we want to talk, it’s nobody else’s business. I have no clue how often I have to repeat, that I’m no danger, until everyone believes it, but meanwhile I won’t stay away from everyone like an outcast.”  
Greer grabbed him by the shirt, his face was contorted with rage. Eli felt surprisingly sure. The other Eli was a fighter and he could be one too.  
“Let go.”  
Greer did not listen. He just pushed Eli against the wall in his back. Eli gathered all his strength and pushed back. Greer finally let go of him but only to hit him this time. The blow of his fist landed without warning in Eli’s gut and took his breath for a moment. Greer’s left fist made painful contact with his eye. A part of him could not believe that Greer really had just done that, another part complained that he had not been better prepared for this.  
Eli tried to counter the attack. He was not trained, but he surely would not go down without a fight.

“Stop it, both of you!” Lisa stormed into the room before Eli could strike back. Before he knew what was happening she stood directly in front of him, laying a hand on his cheek and looking at his injured eye. Eli let it happen, too shocked to move.  
“The others tried to describe it to me, but I couldn’t imagine it right. You really changed a lot.”  
“You can see me,” Eli whispered. Lisa pressed her lips together and nodded vigorously.  
“It worked.” She nodded again and her face shone with happiness. Eli pulled her close and spun in circles with her even if there was hardly any room for it. Repeating the same words over and over again, while Lisa answered with an endless “Thank you, thank you”. He had done the right thing. It had not been for nothing. Every puzzle piece would find its right place. The relief left his head spinning.

“What is going on here?”  
Eli let go of Lisa abruptly and turned to Young who had appeared together with Matt in the doorway. Slowly it was getting really crowded in here.  
“Nothing, we just had a little disagreement,” Eli replied hastily and automatically took a step back as far as the space allowed it. Last night he had thought so much about Young’s antipathy that now he was the last person he wanted to see.  
“And that’s how you get a black eye?”  
“He gave Lisa something,” Greer said with a dark look to Eli.  
“Ron!” Lisa admonished and gave Greer an angry look of her own.  
“It’s okay, Lisa. I told you, it doesn’t have to stay a secret. Besides I told him last night.”  
“What did you give her, Eli?” Young asked alarmed.  
„I gave her nanites which were programmed to repair her eyes. Obviously it worked.” He carefully touched his own eye and took a sharp breath. That hurt.  
“That was what you have been talking about? Nanites?” Young asked angrily.  
“Did you think a couple of herbs would cure the damage?” Eli replied defiantly and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He had suspected that it would not be easy.  
“Eli! You gave her nanites after you nearly died yourself because of them.“  
“It’s not the same. They are different.”  
“That does not matter. You should have discussed this with us.”  
“So you could have taken Lisa’s only chance of a cure? Hardly.”  
„Enough!“ Lisa looked hectically back and forth between them, her hands risen in a calming gesture. „Please Colonel. Eli made it exactly clear to me, what could happen and that there would be no guaranties. It was my decision to take the nanites, my decision to not tell anyone about it. Don’t blame him. And you Ronald, stop being so hostile towards Eli. He did nothing bad. He only trying to do the right thing, like everyone else.”  
Sheepish silence spread among them after Lisa had finished her fierce tirade. It was unusual to see her furious like this.  
Eli took a deep breath and made a decision. “You wanted a report? You can have it. Send me to Earth,” he said in the middle of the silence. It probably was best if he made himself scarce for a while.

oOo


	14. Unsavable 2/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is without beta again, I'm sorry.  
> Chapter 15 is done and will be up in a couple of weeks.

Eli looked at the monitor next to the stones. The face of a man in his early fourties with short, dark hair and big glasses looked back at him. He took off the glasses and had to blink fiercely. Everything was blurred. Sighing, he put them back on. He felt more uncomfortable than ever with this swap. Luckily it was only for a few hours.  
A movement at his side distracted Eli and he turned around.  
“Eli Wallace. I’m being expected,” he identified himself and the man nodded marginally.  
“I’m Major Anderson and I’ll accompany you as long as you are on Earth. I have been told that you want to visit your mother as soon as you’ve finished your report.”  
“Could I write the report on the way to her?” Eli asked directly. He was not keen on writing this report as he still did not know if he really should be telling everything. The report had only been an excuse to get off the ship.  
“You’ll have to ask Colonel Telford. I’m supposed to bring you to him first anyway.”  
“Okay.” Eli stood and followed Anderson along the endless corridors of the building.

The door to the colonel’s office stood open. Telford just finished a phone call as Eli entered after a short knock. Anderson stayed at the door.  
“Mister Wallace, I guess?” Telford leaned back in his chair.  
“Yes.”  
“I’m glad to hear that you have returned to the ship seemingly unharmed. I’m really curious about your story. I heard you have a lot to tell.”  
“That depends. I wanted to ask if I could write the report in the car. The drive to my mom will take a while and it probably would be easier for me than sitting somewhere in a dark corner in the building.”  
“Are you sure this is not just a delaying tactic?” Telford asked with a raised eyebrow.  
Eli shook his head. “No, no delaying,” he replied hastily. He still did not like Telford and he doubted that it would ever change much.  
The man assessed him for a couple of moments then he nodded. “Fine. Major Anderson will supply you with a notebook. Hopefully, I don’t have to remind you of the confidentiality agreement.”  
“No, I know. Thank you, sir.” Eli turned while Telford was already getting back to his paperwork.  
He was glad that the conversation had been so short. It did not take long for Anderson to get the mentioned notebook for him. Then they were on their way outside.

At the elevator Eli nearly tripped over another man’s crutches. Surprised he realized that it was the guy from the Stargate information tapes. Doctor Jackson. His left foot was covered in a colorful inscribed cast. Over one shoulder he had a shoulder bag that seemed to be quite heavy.  
“I’m sorry. I’ll never get used to these stupid things,” said Doctor Jackson hastily and looked past Eli. “Ah, Anderson, perfect timing. I take it you are going to be my chauffeur again today?”  
“Actually no, Doctor Jackson. I have been assigned to someone else today.” He pointed to Eli.  
“Pity, so I have to find someone else.”  
“Where do you have to go?” asked Eli confused. It was strange to stand face to face with the man who was some kind of a legend around this place.  
“I need to visit the Institute of Archaeology.”  
“Is that on our way?” Eli asked, turning to Anderson.  
The man nodded curtly. “Not quite. It would be a little detour.“  
“So, I wouldn’t mind. It would be quite interesting.” Eli turned back to Jackson.  
“Yes? Why is that?” Jackson asked puzzled.  
„I saw your tapes about the Stargate traveling and you probably have a lot to tell.”  
“Hm, so you already know who I am. And with whom do I have the pleasure?”  
“Uhm.” Eli realized that he had been too rash. He did not know how much he was allowed to say. Anderson solved the problem for him.  
“Doktor Jackson has the necessary clearance. You can tell him everything, Mister Wallace.”  
“Oh, thanx.” Eli took a breath while Jackson looked at him with curiosity.  
“The Eli Wallace? From the Icarus Project?” he asked immediately before Eli could introduce himself.  
“Yes, the one. I’m currently using the stones,“ Eli explained the obvious.  
“Ah, it’s nice to meet you finally.” Jackson shook his hand vigorously. “I heard a lot about you already.”  
“Likewise,” Eli replied a little embarrassed and did not know what else to say.  
“We should probably go then,” Jackson said and pointed to the elevator. Together they went up to the parking lot.

oOo

Ron put the cleaned rifle to the other ones he had already checked, and took the next one. Colonel Young had made him check the whole military gear. For now. Compared to the arrest he had gotten after punching Telford this was a really easy punishment. He had probably earned it because he really should not have lost control like this. On the other hand, it had been Eli’s own fault. He just should have shut up instead of provoking him.

At the moment, it was not easy for Ron to interact with Eli. Normally he was able to discern people – and aliens – easily into friends and enemies. And Rush. But right now Eli did not seem to be any of those. Ron could not see him as a friend. His mistrust was justified and he was not alone with it. But obviously he was not allowed to see Eli as an enemy either. He also was not a Rush. Not yet. Hopefully he would never become one.

Ron rubbed a little too much at a stain on the next rifle. This situation was much too complicated for him.

Eli helping Lisa who was now really pissed at Ron did not make it any easier. He was thankful for the open joy his girlfriend finally showed again, but he surely would not apologies to Eli for his behavior nor thank him for his help because of it. In the end he was glad that Eli was on Earth right now and after that it was better to just avoid him. The ship was big enough. Also, it remained to be seen if the Colonel would come up with any other punishments.

For a while Ron just worked stoical and concentrated until he had gone through all their weapons. Then he switched to the backpacks. The material hat been new when they had started their journey on Icarus and even though they had been as careful as possible, they looked worn now. Every trip to a planet left its traces.  
Ron took the first backpack, emptied it completely and checked every centimeter. Even though this was meant as a punishment it was work that had to be done anyway, and it killed time much better than standing guard somewhere or sitting in a cell.  
Next he checked the basic equipment and repacked it at the original places in the backpack. This he repeated with every following backpack. Unpack, pat down, repack.  
On the second to last one he finally felt a small hard resistance that had not been there on any of the others. Ron turned the side pocket inside out and pulled the small thing from a wrinkle where it had gotten stuck. It looked like a small memory card. One of the scientists must have forgotten it there. If no one had been looking for it, it could not be important. Ron put it aside to give it later to whomever crossed his path first. No matter how unimportant the thing seemed, their resources were limited.  
Then he continued his work.

oOo

Eli sat on the backseat of the SUV, the notebook in his lap writing on his report while Jackson was talking to Anderson from the front seat. He ignored the conversation and tried to concentrate. For those who were going to read this he would have to put in enough details so they would be satisfied without giving away his memory gab. He did not want to deal with it at the moment not to mention the distrust he would earn again. As long as no one would question how he had gotten to the last planet there wouldn’t be any problems. It was a risky game and he had no clue if it would come out at some point. It probably was naive to think it could stay a secret forever.

Finally Eli was so engrossed in the phrasing that he looked up in surprise when they stopped and Jackson got out. Obviously they had reached the institute. After he had closed the door Jackson leaned back in through the open window. “I think it won’t take longer than an hour but you can drive on. I will wait in the meantime or find another transportation.”  
“We can wait,” Eli replied before Anderson could say anything. „That way I will get finished with this report… if you don’t mind waiting for me later,” Eli added.  
“Oh no, I have enough literature to pass the time. See you later.”  
Jackson smiled happily and turned away on his crutches.

Anderson fiddled with the car radio until he seemed satisfied. Eli did not know the song that was playing currently. Of cause. By now he had to get up to date with a couple of years of new releases. While he listened with one ear to the catchy beats he continued writing.

When he reread his writing he mentally checked everything. Nanite infection; meeting the doppelgangers; the way to the Aza’an. He was lucky he did not belong to the military. Surely he had breached a dozen rules of some kind or other.  
What happened on the moon of the Aza’an he summarized the shortest even though it probably was the part that everyone was interested the most in.  
Mentioning that the Aza’an had been in a state of war during his arrival so no one would get the idea to make contact again.  
Keep back, that he had helped them evacuate through the gate and that they now had essentially the knowledge to get to the ship through the gates.  
Mentioning that they had healed him completely and that they had given him the nanites for Lisa as a thank you for exchange of information.  
Keep back that he had gotten much more because it had not only been the information they had thanked him for. As well as he kept back that he had not been there the whole time and that he was missing three days.  
Then he padded everything with descriptions of the planet to make the report seem longer. Things like that normally were not his strong suit but started to make fun. If he put aside all the terrible incidents everything he had seen was just incredible and breathtaking.

Eli was just at the last paragraph when the car door opened and Jackson slipped back on the co-driver’s seat.  
“Done already?” Eli greeted him and registered belatedly the steep line between Jackson’s eyebrows when he turned for a moment. He seemed thoughtful.  
“Everything alright?” asked Anderson who seemed to have noticed too.  
“Yes, everything’s fine, just some unexpected information. For my part we can go on,” Jackson placated and buckled up.  
“Good, then we will drive to the hospital now.”  
“Hospital?” Eli asked in alarm.  
“I have the information that your mother is at work,” Anderson replied calmly and rejoined the traffic.  
“Oh, of cause.” Eli pushed down the sudden panic. For a moment he had thought that she was bad again but then someone would have told him by now. He hadn’t even thought about asking if his mom was at home or working.

For a time they were driving in silence while Eli finished his report and Jackson read some files. When the car finally came to a stop in the driving lot of the local hospital Eli had finished rereading the whole text for the third time, unsure if he should not add or delete something. But he decided that it was enough like this.

"Perfect timing," he announced and shut the notebook.  
Jackson turned to him in his seat. "You got finished in the meantime?"  
"Yes, this should be enough for now. In the end they will ask a thousand questions again, anyway."  
"Yeah, I know. May I read the report while we wait here?"  
"Uhm." Eli looked to Anderson, unsure.  
"Don't worry, I have the clearance. Icarus was my project when it was nothing but research. I know all the reports from Destiny."  
Anderson nodded affirmative and Eli shrugged. "If you want, but it really isn't that exciting." Eli gave Daniel the notebook. Daniel took it with a grin and opened it.  
"Oh, I think you underestimate yourself. After everything I've seen so far your reports are always diverting."  
Eli became embarrassed and opened the car door. "If you think so. I don't think that I'll be long. I can't interrupt much at work."  
"Don't worry. It takes as long as it takes. We aren't in a hurry," Jackson replied but seemed to read already.  
"Okay."

Eli walked across the parking lot to the main entrance and, at the reception, asked his way through to his mother. When he found her shortly after he watched her while she was talking to a doctor. She looked well-- there were no signs of her illness. Henry and Aaron seemed to be got for her. Unsure Eli pondered if it was that wise to just show up for a short hello without any real news. Like this he always pulled her from her daily routine. She knew that he was okay as long as the Air Force did not show up announcing his death. Was it not better to leave her in peace now that he knew that she was in good hands?

Before he could turn away she noticed him and looked at him openly. Yet Eli could pull back, say that he was just looking for a patient or that he had gotten lost. He decided against it.  
When she came closer he had to smile involuntarily. "Hi mom."  
She hesitated and then answered his smile. "Eli?"  
"Yes, sorry, that I'm bothering you here. I had hoped to meet you at home but then I heard that you are on shift."  
"You are never bothering." She hugged him shortly but heartily and gestured down the corridor. "I can take a short break or shall we meet later?"  
"I won’t be here long. I don't know when I'll be called back. I just wanted to say hi. The last weeks had been really... busy." He wasn’t supposed to worry her.  
"That's sweet of you. Come, let’s go outside." She gave notice to a colleague and went down with him outside the door.  
"I guess, as always, you can't tell me anything about what happened."  
First, Eli shook his head, happy for this excuse, then he corrected himself.  
"Not directly. I can describe you a couple of the places I have been to. But a short break won’t be enough for that. So we have to postpone that to later when I have more time again and you aren't at work."  
"I'm looking forward to that." She was still smiling and Eli returned it.  
"But you look really good. Henry and Aaron seem to be good for you."  
"Yes, they are. But I won’t forget you because of them, Eli. You are still in my thoughts every day."  
Eli bit his bottom lip and forced himself to keep smiling. In his throat formed a lump he tried to swallow. "I should go back."  
He could see the disappointment in her look but he did not know what else to say. Finally she just nodded and hugged him tightly. "Visit again soon and then you have to stay longer, do you hear?"  
"Yes, mom, I will." He returned the hug as tightly and then turned away hastily. As he walked across the parking lot he turned back again. She was still standing there, looking after him. He waved shortly and got into the car.

"Done?" Anderson asked. Eli nodded silently.  
"That was fast," Jackson added but did not look up. He seemed to be reading still. Eli had just been gone for a couple of minutes.  
"Yes, she's busy. So I didn't want to interrupt any longer." Finally Jackson looked up and Eli avoided his piercing gaze, instead he busied himself with the seatbelt.  
"Are you through?" He asked to change the topic.  
"Yes, in a moment." Jackson continued reading while Anderson drove off the parking lot.

"This is really impressive," Jackson said when he was finally done and returned the notebook to Eli.  
"You think so? You experienced a lot more already and if one can believe what one hears then you even returned from the dead."  
"I wasn't really dead, just ascended and I had help with that," Jackson downplayed his experience. "And just say Daniel." He looked thoughtfully at Eli and then went on. "Considering that you've gone into all of this mess without any training you have dealt really well with the challenges so far."  
"Thank you." It embarrassed Eli again to hear those words from Jackson, probably because the man was famous. He was the one at the beginning of the journey they were on now.

"It seems we have both finished what we needed to do. Do you want to go back to headquarters already?" Jackson asked while he rummaged in his bag.  
"Not really, but I wouldn't know where else to go if I could be called be back any moment," Eli confessed.  
"Then let’s go into town. It's far too early for dinner but I know an amazing ice cream parlor. I’ll invite you and you can tell me something about your trip, something that isn’t in the report. Deal?"  
Eli was so happy about the delay that he accepted without thinking. And who could say no to ice cream?

oOo

Nick had watched the swap between Eli and Doctor Bakewell using the kino, but soon he had gotten bored. Morrison had taken over the task of passing their current results about the crystals. If there was something new, the men would call. Though for now Nick did not have any interest in following both geologists in their shoptalk. That was why he had addressed himself to other tasks again.

In the background Park was busy watching the ship’s monitors. Up until now no one had ever done that with so much joy but it was obvious that Parks sudden healing made her appreciate her eyesight more than ever.   
Nick let her be because he was happy for her and she did not interrupt him. Everyone worked by themselves in comfortable silence but it did not stay like that for long.

Greer and Lieutenant James entered the bridge. Nick kept a watchful eye on him as he walked over to Park. By now he had learned - unwanted - every detail of the events that had taken place in Eli’s quarters in the morning and it did not make the Sergeant any more sympathetic. This was a dispute that was not Nick’s business and he would not interfere but mentally he stood on Eli’s side. After everything that had happened, the boy did not need the enmity of the crew especially as he had not done anything wrong in his opinion.

“Hello Lisa, will you come to dinner with me? James will take over”, Greer said and Nick noticed that he did not seem as self-reliant as he was usually. Park had made it unmistakably clear that she was pissed at him when she had retold the story of this morning.  
Even now she left him waiting and did not jump up immediately. But eventually she nodded and left her spot for James. When both came by Nick’s workstation on their way out, Greer suddenly stopped. He rummaged in his pockets and then put a small object on the console before Nick. He instantly realized what it was. The memory chip of a kino. He had been present once when Eli had taken apart one of the devices to understand how the flying worked among other things.

“Where did you get this?” Nick asked and took the small chip. Normally they did not remove those parts.  
“It was stuck in a pocket of one of the backpacks. Probably one of the scientists forgot it there after the last planetary mission. Is it important?” Greer asked but Nick waved it aside.  
“No not really. I will look at it later.” Nick put the chip into his pocket and did not give Greer any attention any longer. The man finally understood the sign and left the bridge together with Park.

Nick only looked up again when their steps had faded away. He had a vague idea where the chip came from. If he was right, there was going to be some really useful information on it. It looked like he would be spending the evening watching kino records again.

oOo

Eli had expected them to end up in a crowded shopping center but under Daniel’s directions Anderson finally stopped in a quiet side street where cafes took turns with small shops.  
They got out after Daniel had given Anderson instructions to report back and then pass some time. They would call as soon as they were finished.

“It’s nice here. Are you here often?“ Eli asked after the SUV had vanished behind the next junction.  
“Sometimes. I don’t have nearly enough time for things like this. I’m hardly going through the gate anymore but I’m still busy with research and translations. There are still secrets out there to be solved.” Daniel winked at him and provided their path and speed on his crotches.

“Inside or outside?” Daniel asked when they reached their destination. An apparently comfortable, small cafe with tables and umbrellas in front of it. It seemed to be well visited.  
Eli gestured to a shadowy corner in the outside area that was a bit at the side. Daniel nodded approvingly. “Of cause, after such a long time on the ship you’ll enjoy every minute in the sun.”  
“It’s not only that,” Eli confessed after a short hesitation. They set down and Eli took the menu. “It’s more the closed space. It never bothered me before.”  
“I know the feeling. After a couple of weeks on a ship you can already get claustrophobic. It can’t be easier after months.”  
“Oh, it isn’t as bad as it sounds. After all, we have the gates and I’ve been off the ship for the last three weeks. You said you know the reports. It’s hardly boring.”  
“It’s still not the same.”  
Eli shrugged. The waitress saved him from a direct answer. With a practiced smile she took their orders and vanished again. The break was followed be a short silence that Daniel finally broke. 

„So, I’m curious. What’s not in the report? For three weeks it’s quite a short summary though I’ll give you points for the flowery descriptions.” Daniel had rested his elbows on the table and his fingers were interlaced under his chin while he watched Eli intently.  
Eli leaned back and toyed with a paper napkin. He had approved to talk with Daniel but how much could he tell him? “Would you honestly answer me a question first before I tell you anything?” Eli asked unsure.  
“Sure, if I can.”  
“It was no accident that we met at the elevator. I know the structures well enough by now to realize that. There would have been less time consuming ways for you to get to the institute and back. And Anderson wasn’t surprised enough. So who gave you the order to talk to me?” Eli did not want the distrust that had been gnawing at him all the time, but he wasn’t able to ignore it any longer.

Daniel looked at Eli imploringly for a moment then he smiled. “You are fast. I said it was a bad idea,” he honestly admitted and Eli was thankful that he did not try to feed him any lies. Impatiently he waited for more explanations.  
“I agreed to do this because I actually wanted to meet you personally. And I thought better it’s me than someone who would report everything dully. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to talk them out of it either. Though as fast as you figured it out, I doubt it would have worked with anyone else.  
“And you wouldn’t do that? Report back everything dully, I mean,” Eli asked suspiciously.  
“No, if you ask me not to and if it doesn’t endanger the crew in my opinion then I won’t say anything. I have my own share of secrets.”  
„Who gave the order?“ Eli repeated his first question. He figured there could only be two people for that. “Young or Telford?”   
This time Daniel thought visibly if he should answer but then did it. “Colonel Young.”  
“I probably deserved that.” Eli had expected something like this but still felt a certain disappointment. Resigned he sank back into the chair.  
“Why do you think so?” Daniel asked directly.  
„You know what happened from the reports. Young doesn’t trust me anymore. Even though he knows that I wouldn’t do anything that would endanger the others or the ship he can’t accept that I want to keep some details of my trip to myself. Of cause we had bad experiences but under the influence of the nanites I never once acted aggressive or sabotaged anything. And the tests showed that my blood is clean now. He is pissed at me because I went away without him knowing. And saving Lisa with nanite technology made it worse instead of better.”  
“You have to see it from Young’s point of view,” Daniel replied thoughtfully. “As the leader he has to remain in control. Your decision wasn’t easy for you but you made it without him.”  
“Yes, but I was running out of time.” Eli stopped abruptly and Daniel looked at him questioningly. “One of the things I didn’t write more about in the report is the war of the Aza’an with the people of their homeplanet. I arrived in the middle of it. Even if I’d had survived the fever any longer the Aza’an that had helped me would have been dead by now.”

The waitress that brought their order interrupted him. Two big sundaes with fruits, whipped cream and chocolate sauce, and two espressos. Eli started to shine. It had been too long since he had eaten something like this.  
When the waitress was gone again Daniel continued their conversation. “Why do you think so? What was it about?”  
“Similar to us the Aza’an had gone through different technical evolutions. When they developed the nanites it was a huge progress, naturally. That nanites would bind themselves to the cells of their carriers and would start their own evolution had never been planned or foreseen. The Lita developed.  
There were discussions and protests. The Lita were categorized as an illness, a danger and were ordered to be shut down but that wasn’t easy for several reasons.  
Finally a minority of the Aza’an separated from the others; those who carried the Lita inside and wanted to keep them. Because they weren’t welcome on their planet any longer they build a colony on the moon where the Stargate was. It went well for some time but the administration of the planet learned about the gate and the different resources on the moon.  
What had been negotiations and contracts in the beginning turned into a cold war where, of cause, the population of the homeplanet was totally outnumbering the Aza’an on the moon. The Lita on the other hand brought the Aza’an a technical advantage that assured a fragile balance for a long time. But in the end the scientists of the homeplanet caught up. The Lita-infected were about to lose.” Eli stirred a generous amount of sugar into his espresso. Summarizing it this shortly did not even come close to what the Aza’an had gone through and what Eli had felt.

„What happened?“ Daniel asked when Eli didn’t continue. Eli drank his by now far too sweet espresso, crunched his face in disgust and finally continued.  
“They healed me without any problems, while they learned from some confederates in the ranks of the enemy that a major offensive was planned. So, I led the whole population of the moon through the gate to a new home. We had only a couple of days to explore the nearest planets and to make a decision. Then thousands of Aza’ans and everything they could carry had to be brought through the gate. That’s why I was gone for so long. It’s nothing you can do in a day.”  
“Yes, we already had similar situations,” Daniel added understandingly.  
“But I still couldn’t safe everyone. When I wanted to leave the moon with the last unit we were surprised by an air strike. We had only known that it would come, not when. There were explosions everywhere in town and I had to watch my friends die before I went through the gate at the last possible moment.”  
Eli poked his slowly melting sundae. Saying it aloud wasn’t as easy as he had thought. “The gate must have been destroyed because shortly after that the address vanished from the remote.”  
“Wow, I didn’t expect something like that. That must be hard.”  
“What? No reassuring words? No ‚it will be alright‘ or ‚it had only been ugly aliens‘?“  
Daniel smiled and put milk into his espresso which was probably nearly cold by now. “You should know that during my time with SG1 I came more than once into situations very similar to yours. It wasn’t always easy for me either but only if one sees what lies beneath the surface one can go forward. Sounds like a phrase from a fortune cookie, I know. But if your life depends on you binding and communicating with an alien creature one often learns more than expected. The alliances and friendships that develop from these situations are precious and their loss can be as painful as the loss of a close person.”  
Eli felt a lump in his throat, stronger than the one he had felt with his mother, and starred silently into his ice cream. Daniel’s words reflected exactly what he felt and it was nice to know that there was someone who understood his situation and didn’t try to analyze and judge it or to talk it down.  
“Tell me more about your new friends,” Daniel finally said and Eli enjoyed the curiosity and the honest interest. He coughed, took a deep breath and followed Daniel’s request.

“On first sight they are really ugly, I know, but if you get over it there is much more about them. Their scale colors vary and shimmer in the light.” Eli looked around and discovered a cheeky dove that was pecking crumps from the street. With a nod he pointed in her direction.  
“Like her feathers. Their thorns are different too. Like the different skin and hair colors among humans. They are unbelievable talented in all areas of art and science. Their music is different from ours. Several sounds really take some getting used to but they also have complex and harmonic compositions. I was able to record some of it but I didn’t show anyone so far. And they are really in love with details, nearly obsessed. I thought it was the fever or the Lita but it’s actually the Aza’an themselves who are fixated with details. I remember the first time the echo of Xaven’s ghost woke up in my head and how fascinated he was with Young’s skin. The cellular structure and the small hairs. It was impossible to overcome this fascination.” Eli stopped and realized too late that he had gotten lost in his words and had given away far too much.

“What?” he snapped at Daniel when the man started to smile strangely.  
“It’s interesting to watch your face. First totally excited, then lost in thought and now embarrassed. What are you embarrassed about?”  
“Isn’t it obvious?“ Eli asked darkly.  
“Not entirely. Do you mean this fascination for Everett?”  
“Yes, what else?”  
“But you said yourself it was – how did you call it – the echo of Xaven’s ghost?” Daniel asked back.  
“Yes… no, it’s… damn.” Frustrated Eli stirred the content of his melting sundae. Soon there would be nothing left but a uniform sauce if he continued like this.  
Meanwhile Daniel was grinning only more. “Caught!”  
“Not cool, really not cool,” Eli complained uncomfortably.  
“Hey, no reason to sulk. I’m just teasing you. When you are stuck in a small space for so long it’s normal to start to care about each other and it’s better this way than not liking each other at all.”  
“I think you don’t understand the problem.”  
“Yeah? So, explain it to me.”  
“No,” Eli replied tersely because he was totally embarrassed about it and he had known the man for only a couple of hours. This was private.  
Daniel seemed to take it without hesitation. „Okay, so back to the Aza’an. Tell me more. What did their world look like?”

Eli was thankful for the change of topic. “Originally the moon had been classified as unlivable for the physiology of the Aza’an, but their technology in combination with the Lita gave them the chance to stand the atmosphere until they had built domes with artificial air. You could see their homeplanet in the sky like we can see the moon and the days were much longer. That’s why I lost my sense of time. I wasn’t aware how long I was away from Destiny.  
I hope the new planet can really be their home. We didn’t have time to estimate the long term conditions. A few hours aren’t enough even with the best technology. But now there is no turning back and I can only hope that they will have a long and peaceful future ahead of them.”  
“Those Aza’an seem to be quite adaptive. What happens next is not in your hands anymore. If it was about getting even about the guilt of the dead one you definitely did it with the relocation.”  
“But it never was about getting even out of guilt,” Eli replied nearly desperate. “It was about going home and saving friends, my family.”  
Eli balled his hands into fists, loosened them again and tried to get rid of the pressure in his chest. Maybe he could lie to the others but not to himself. Xaven’s feelings would never go away completely.

“Hm, do you want to hear a couple of my stories?” Jackson asked abruptly.  
Eli blinked in confusion then he nodded hastily. „If they have a happy ending, sure,” he added. “So, I can finish this before the ice cream has melted completely.” He gestured to his cup and Daniel laughed.  
“Fine, I’ll do my best.”  
Daniel started to talk about his journeys in the frame of things Eli was allowed to know with his level of clearance. It didn’t take long and Eli saw in him the same joy he had himself while recounting his adventures.

When Eli looked at the clock the next time two hours had passed and both of them had had another cup of coffee.  
“How long was the exchange supposed to last, anyway?” Eli asked suddenly. Surely Daniel had gotten a window of time.  
Daniel looked at his watch, too. “Not that long. Doctor Bakewell was supposed to make a first assessment of the stones. Maybe we should get back slowly. We can keep talking in the car and at the office until the connection is cut.”  
“Okay.”  
Daniel gave the waitress a sign and then payed. When they stood he looked around. “I’m going to call Anderson and ask him to pick us up where he dropped us off.”  
“Sure.”

They walked back the way they had come, again slowed down by Daniels crotches, and then waited for Anderson at the street. He would take some minutes. Eli watched the passing cars… and found himself back at Destiny the next moment. His head hurt and when he looked around with blurred eyes he realized he was lying on the floor. Something stung in his side and when he tried to move pain raced through his nervous system. When he touched the place with his hand and then looked at it, it was full of blood. Young was lying motionless next to him. Something had happened! But before he could find out more he was back on Earth. He leant heavily against a street lantern and Daniel was far too close.  
He looked at him worriedly. “Doctor Bakewell?”  
“No, it’s me, Eli.”  
“What happened?”  
“I don’t know. Something is wrong. We dropped out of FTL which separated the connection. I have to get back to Destiny immediately.”  
“You probably reached the next planet,” Daniel guessed. “Everything is going to be okay. If something is wrong they will call.”  
“Nothing is okay!” Eli replied and felt panic. “Young was unconscious and I’m wounded, bleeding far too strongly. I have to go back now. Use the emergency protocol. We can reconnect if everything is okay, but now I have to get back to my own body, please,” Eli begged and hoped that Daniel knew what he was talking about.

After the incidents with Ginn and Mandy as well as the Senator and Doctor Covel, the emergency protocol had been established. In case one person was in mortal danger during a connection, the connection was to be ended if possible to not loose both lives. No matter what the original plans for the connection had been.  
Luckily, Daniel nodded and got out his cell. To Eli it seemed like an eternity until Daniel gave short orders.  
“Thank you”, Eli said relieved. “I’ll message you as soon as I can.”  
“Good luck and…”

oOo


	15. Unsavable 3/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes chapter 15.  
> Unbetaed again but as it looks at the moment this will change soon. I'm hopeful.  
> Have fun reading while I'm working on some emotional ooc conversations for the next chapter. That chapter is going to kill me ^^°

Eli groaned quietly when he came to in his own body. His head hurt and the pain when he was breathing hasn’t been imagined nor was it less. Blood was still spilling from the wound under his fingers even though slower now. He noticed more small cuts and scratches on his forearms. They seemed strangely reddened and burned dully. The way it felt, they were spread across his stomach too. But only the one wound below his chest seemed to bleed like this. The pain was mainly located in his rips.  
Eli tried to get a bit upright. Immediately everything around him started to spin. When he touched the back of his head with his left hand he could feel a bump but luckily there was not anymore blood. After he had gotten an overview of his own situation he turned to Young. He seemed to be unconscious still. “Colonel Young?” He didn’t get an answer.  
With gritted teeth Eli skidded closer to the man and looked for his pulse. The slow but even heartbeat relieved him.

„Colonel Young, Doctor Bakewell, do you read? Can someone hear me?” Belatedly Eli realized Volker’s distorted voice. He needed a moment to allocate it while he was fighting a persistent vertigo. Then he grabbed the radio on Young’s belt.  
“This is Eli, I’m reading you.”  
“Thank god. We have been starting to worry. Is everything fine?”  
“Depends. I got some scratches and the Colonel is unconscious. What happened?” Eli summarized briefly.  
“That’s what I wanted to ask,” Rush interrupted.  
“Nick,” Eli said relieved and then shook his head but regretted it immediately because the movement caused a new wave of vertigo. “Rush, I don’t know what happened. I was in the middle of talking to Daniel when I returned to my own body for a couple of seconds. I knew something was wrong and let them end the connection. What happened here?”  
“We dropped out of FTL. Obviously Bakewell caused some kind of reaction. According to the sensor records there was an energy outbreak. Destiny shut down the laboratory. Nothing gets in or out not even air circulation.”  
“Great.” Eli groaned irritated. That had been what he needed. He really preferred to be on the other side in this kind of situation-- on the unhurt, problem solving side.

“What about the crystals?”  
“Wait a sec.” Because Eli had the radio in one hand and the other one still pressed on his wound he nudged Young’s leg with one food.  
„Colonel Young.“ He still didn’t get a reaction. Frustrated he kicked a little bit harder. “Colonel Young, wake up! This is really the wrong timing for a nap.” It took a while but when Young finally opened his eyes after the third try Eli felt relieved again. He didn’t want to be alone in this situation.

Young visibly needed a moment to get his thoughts together and to orientate.  
“Doctor Bakewell?” he asked slowly.  
“No, it’s me Eli. I’m back.”  
“What happened?” Young asked and set up.  
“That’s what we are trying to find out. You have been unconscious for some minutes,” Eli replied. “Are you hurt aside from the bump on your head?”  
Young looked down and patted himself down. “Only some scratches, but everything superficial as it seems. What about you?” Young’s look wandered to Eli’s blood smeared hand.  
“Only superficial scratches and a bump,” Eli answered.  
“And the wound beneath your hand?” Young asked skeptically.  
“It’s probably only half as bad as it hurts.” At least Eli hoped so.

Rush interrupted them. „Could someone tell us now what happened to the crystals?“ he asked impatiently. Eli rolled his eyes and gave Young the radio. “I would like to avoid getting up. I think I damaged a rip or two.”  
Young gave him another skeptical look and then nodded slowly. He got on his feet and looked around while Eli skidded carefully to the closest wall, getting up at least so far that he was able to lean against it with his uninjured side.  
Still his rips thanked him with a new wave of pain. He doubted that he had broken anything, the impact couldn’t have been that hard. But a contusion would hurt at least as bad. Eli bit his teeth and listened to Young’s description while he looked around himself. They really were the only ones in the room, a small laboratory. On two tables along one wall stood some measurement equipment, on the other side stood two more tables. On one of them was a broken glass container with a blue liquid in it.

„Has this been the crystals?“ Eli asked. He would have liked to see more but preferred to stay sitting and avoid causing more waves of pain.  
“Yes. Doctor Bakewell wanted to measure something,” Young replied. “Why are you even back?” he asked belatedly.  
“Emergency protocol”, Eli answered dully. There were more important things. “Whatever he was trying, I doubt it had the desired effects. At least he didn’t get any readings this way.”  
“But we are getting reads from the internal ship sensors,” Eli heard Brody over the radio from the background.  
“And? Something interesting?”  
Silence answered him. Eli looked distrustfully to the liquid and then to Young. No answer normally meant bad news.  
“What do the reads say?” Young asked with some more urgency for an answer.  
“The substance is sending radiation like on the planet but it seems to be only the result of…” Rush started, but broke off.  
“Come on guys, don’t leave us waiting. What is it?” Eli started to get impatient.  
“Beta radiation. When the crystals changed there must have been a beta decay. Probably that’s why Destiny doesn’t let us open the doors. There is the danger of the radiation spreading on the ship.”  
“And what does that mean for us?” Eli asked confused and looked over to Young in alarm, but he shook his head.  
“Beta radiation is weak enough to be contained by the walls of this ship and when the contact is only short the results are faint enough to be treaded. But if you are exposed to the radiation for a longer time or if you touch the source directly you’ll get burns and long term damage like cancer,” Brody explained as if he was recounting an article from a book.  
“Great.” Eli swallowed dryly. „So what do we do now?“  
“Stay away as far as possible from that stuff. We keep trying to circumvent the ships blockades. But in the meantime we should try to find ways of avoiding more radiation. Any ideas?” Rush asked.  
“The database from Xaven’s ship,” was Eli’s first thought. „Did you have the opportunity to run it through the translation?”  
“Yes, but I haven’t looked at it yet.”  
Eli thought for a moment. “One of the words in the translation was the name for the crystals. Try it as keyword and filter all the passages with the most hits. Xaven wrote down his results in a report. See how far you can get with this. Maybe I can try later to fill the gabs with some memories.”  
“Okay. I’ll be back.” And with that Rush was obviously gone.

Young came back to Eli and knelt in front of him. “Show me your wound.”  
“It isn’t…” Eli’s protest went under in a pain filled groan when Young didn’t hesitate to push Eli’s hand aside. Then he lifted the by now ruined shirt and freed the wound that was beneath his rips. Only shortly next to it was the tattoo Eli had since his trip. The last couple of days he had looked at it often but he still couldn’t remember where he got it and what it meant.  
“There is a larger splinter probably from the container with the crystals. You’re lucky it didn’t go deeper. A couple of centimeters lower and it could have caused serious damage to your inner organs. There are probably more splinters in the smaller scratches, in yours and mine.  
“It’s okay.” Eli got another dark look for his remark and kept silent.  
“Brody. Someone get TJ and Lieutenant Scott,” Young ordered over the radio.  
“I’m here, Colonel,” TJ answered directly. She must have been in the room already. “Scott is on his way too. How are you?”  
“We both have a concussion and smaller scratches from splinters but Eli was hit by a larger splinter, too. It’s still stuck in the wound as it seems.”  
“Do you have something at hand you can use to get the splinters out and to cover the wounds with until I can take a closer look?”  
“I’ll take a look around.” Young stood again.

"Eli, are you hurt somewhere else?" TJ asked and Young gave him the radio so he could answer.  
"Only the head and the rips. I must have hit one of the tables when I fell. I think my rips are bruised. The wound hurts less. The splinter doesn't seem to be deep. It hardly bleeds anymore." Eli took a closer look at the cut. The skin was strangely reddened and there was something shimmering blue. He got a bad feeling.  
"Colonel, could you switch off the light for a moment?" He asked without broadcasting it over the radio.  
"Why?" Young asked suspiciously.  
"I just want to check a theory. You can turn it back on in a sec."  
"Fine." Young walked over to the door and the next moment it became dark. Eli blinked but then he was able to see what the artificial light had been covering up until now. The liquid was glowing even more than the crystals in the cave. Contrary to his assumption the glow had never been from bioluminescence. It had always been a result of radiation. With the stable crystals they just hadn't been able to measure it.  
Now Eli was able to see the whole extent of the situation. Droplets of the liquid were scattered everywhere in the room, even on him and Young-- on their cloth, on their skin, in the wounds. They were glowing like Christmas trees. It explained why his wounds were so unusually reddened and felt so strange. The radiation had already burned the outermost dermal layer. It didn’t matter how fast they could eliminate the source of radiation. They had been contaminated too strongly already.  
Young turned the light back on. He lifted his shirt and looked at the cuts that were surrounded by unusual red dots, too. His look showed that he had come to the same conclusion as Eli. Silently he came back, a pair of tweezers that he had obviously found among the other things, and a canteen of water in his hands.

"Eli, did something happen?" TJ asked. They probably had been silent for too long.  
"No, everything is fine," Eli replied. He had learned his lessons considering lying for the sake of everyone else. He wouldn't have needed Young's warning look for that. There was no need to worry TJ and the others if there was nothing they could do at the moment anyway. They should be concentrating on the essentials.  
Eli was glad that there was no kino in the room at the moment. He had actually programed one to follow Bakewell around.  
"I found tweezers and can get out the splinters. We have water to clean the cuts a little, but I don't have anything to bandage them aside from our clothes," Young summarized for TJ.  
"My shirt is ruined anyways. Use the cloth," Eli added and a bit quieter just for the Colonel "the parts that aren't contaminated anyway."  
"Okay. Then concentrate on your wounds for now while everyone here works on a solution," TJ replied.

Young helped Eli to get out of the jacket and the shirt and started to search him methodically for splinters and remove them. Eli let it happen while he had one hand protectively closed around his pendant. Two more units of nanites for an emergency that wasn't supposed to have ever happened. Was it time already? He had told Daniel that the Lita had protected their carriers from radiation damage for a while. But would the simple nanites be able to do that in their human bodies too? And would Young allow them to use this kind of help? Yet Eli did not dare to address the topic. Instead he busied himself by analyzing their situation some more. If he interpreted the wounds on them right the pressure wave had spread horizontal. All cuts and droplets had been on the same height, more or less. One could call that luck. If they had gotten the splinters or even the liquid into their faces they could have gotten far more serious injuries. Though Eli wasn't sure what could be more serious than radioactive contamination.

"Colonel, this is Scott."  
"Lieutenant, what's the situation on your side?"  
"Rush, Volker and Brody are working on a solution. TJ, Park, Greer and Chloe are helping the best they can. The rest of the crew doesn't know yet."  
"Okay, leave it this way for now. By now Bakewell will have reported back on Earth what happened and Eli's sudden return will have caused a bit of a commotion. Use the stones and calm them down some. As long as we are stuck in here you are in command."  
"Yes sir." The radio fell silent again.

"How was it on Earth? Could you finish your report?" Young asked after a while of silence while bloody glass splinters were piling up in a small bowl.  
"Yes the report is finished."  
"Does it also contain an explanation of how you've gotten that tattoo? I've never considered you for someone who would get something like this." Young pointed to the intertwined geometrical shapes.  
"It was a gift from the Aza'an I hardly could refuse," Eli replied the lie he had prepared, and touched the colored skin for a short moment. One couldn't distinguish the work from a terrestrial tattoo.  
Eli thought about bringing up Daniel's try to interrogate him to change the topic but didn't. They probably would be here for a while longer and this would be a topic that would just end in a fight again.

Young had just finished removing the splinters from Eli's wounds and was about to clean his own injuries when Volker's voice came through the radio again.  
"Colonel Young? Eli?"  
"Yes. What is it?" Young asked without looking up from his work while Eli got back into his jacket carefully. His shirt was lying in shreds on the floor by now.  
"Destiny is still refusing to allow the circumvention. Brody and Greer are on their way to you with a cutting torch. But it will take a while to get through to you with it."  
"Wait with it," Young said immediately. "As soon as the door is open we can't close it anymore and if the ship reads the radiation over its sensors it will only seal the next door too and then the two of them would be shut in with us."  
"We thought so too and we are still trying to find other solutions but just in case they will be ready."

“Did Rush have any luck yet with the translation?” asked Eli.  
It was silent for a moment, then Rush himself answered. “Some, but I’m missing some words to make sense out of it.”  
“Describe the signs for me,” Eli replied and pulled a piece of chalk from his trouser pockets. He still had it from his last visit to Rush’s corridor. Rush described the symbols and Eli wrote them on the floor. Then he tried to get out Xaven’s memories. It was hard to control what he saw. Even when he found the right memories they were mostly nebulous. Filtering out specific words seemed nearly impossible.  
It was arduous and it made his headache worse but slowly he found the meaning of some of the symbols.  
Meanwhile Young finished and brought the contaminated things as far away from them as possible. It hardly made any difference anymore.

Finally Eli gave his results to Rush.  
“The third sign with the semicircle means as much as lowering the temperature, cooling down… the first sign is stable and the one that is mirrored to it is unstable.” Eli wrote the meanings for himself down and crossed out the words he was done with. “The fourth symbol I can’t translate. I wish someone had been clever enough to read this before doing any experiments. What exactly did Bakewell do anyway? Without any security measures? I thought he was supposed to just take a look and make an assessment?” The question what Young had been doing alone with Bakewell in a room Eli didn’t need to ask. He was sure he knew it.  
“I couldn’t see what he was doing because I stood behind him,” Young explained. “He was a bit too excited I suppose, but I doubt that he knew what would happen.”  
“It can’t be changed now anyway. Let’s concentrate on how we repair the done damage,” Rush interrupted. “I think I’ve got it. The Aza’an crew found a whole field of those crystals during a planetary expedition. Like us they took a piece with them. But before they reached the ship the crystal came into contact with something – one of the signs you couldn’t translate Eli – and became unstable, liquid. Xaven realized the energy potential even if it’s small, but to change the crystals back and forth between solid and liquid seems to have generated enough energy to back up their own drive which had started to cause problems during the long journey.  
To get the stable crystals the surrounding temperature has to be lowered. As soon as the crystals have reached the stable form they don’t care about the temperature anymore if I understand it correctly. It’s the contact with a certain substance that makes them liquid again. Though I can’t tell which temperature is needed and how long it takes to build the crystals. I don’t have any references to convert the measures into our units.”  
“But I might be able to. Give me a moment.”  
Eli closed his eyes tiredly. Rush might not have been able to convert the necessary figures into the human system but Eli already had a vague feeling for what they would need. The notes Rush was trying to read were memories in Eli’s head after all. He just had to concentrate enough. The more Rush told the more Eli remembered even though it caused him a hell of a headache. He saw measurement devices, displays and diagrams in front of his inner eye and scribbled some of them on the floor next to him.  
Under other saver conditions it would have been interesting to study the crystals. They united properties in a way it was not possible on Earth. But here and now they were nothing but a danger.

No one interrupted him during his attempts and finally Eli found what he had been looking for and was able to convert it. He sighed quietly. It was going to get uncomfortable.  
"In the range between minus two and minus five centigrade it's going to take about an hour, probably a bit longer. But you can't go lower with the temperatures to maybe speed up the process. The crystals won’t become stable but would disintegrate again. And if you stay above it, it could take days or weeks until they crystalize. That's how the crystals in the cave were able to grow. After the stuff had leaked from the ship it must have combined with a radiation resistant organism. The dispersal around the cave ceiling had been too even to be from the leak alone. And there were those leechen like formations that had grown together with the crystals. Do you remember? That must..."  
He stopped abruptly. He had known that Xaven had been more dead than alive for a while in the crashed ship, hardly conscious, but the chaotic memories and the alien conditions had made it hard to actually estimate the time correctly. For the first time Eli realized that the Lita had kept Xaven alive for a seemingly excruciatingly long time period while the crystals in the cave had grown so fast that it was frightening. They had brought a danger a board they hardly understood.

"Eli!"  
Eli startled and blinked as Young demanded his attention.  
"Everything okay?" he asked worried.  
"Yes, sorry. I just remembered something." Eli put aside the thought with a short head shake and regretted it immediately. He really shouldn't move for a while.  
"Are you sure about those figures?" Rush interfered. At the other end of the radio it had been suspiciously quiet.  
"As certain as I can be under the given circumstances. We don't have time for experiments."  
"But you will freeze to death! And there is no guarantee that Destiny will open the doors as soon as the source is eliminated. You and the room will still have a rest radiation," Volker chipped in before anyone else could say something.  
"They won't freeze," TJ disagreed. "It's not like on the planet where you got hit by the avalanche, Colonel. But you are going to chill through and there is the danger of getting hyperthermia. You know what that means."

Eli looked silently at Young. The whole situation with the cold and the freezing brought back memories Eli definitely didn't need right now. But did they have a choice at all?  
"If we don't do anything we are going to suffocate and the radiation problem will persist. Is it even possible to lower the temperature this fast if the ventilation is blocked," Young asked.  
"Yes, we can temperate the walls and the floor. Eli's specification is still in the possible range."  
"Fine. It's going to get uncomfortable but a bit of cold with the chance of getting out of here is still better than suffocating in here or keep being radioactive contaminated. And you have about an hour to come up with a plan b in case Destiny doesn't open the doors by then. Or what do you think, Eli?"  
Eli shrugged. "I hate the cold but at the moment I don't see any other option," he admitted.  
Young nodded shortly and stood up again. "Rush how fast can you get the temperature down to the required level?"  
"Considering the size of the room and without ventilation... fifteen minutes max."  
"Then get started. The sooner the faster we are done with it."

There was a sudden silence and Eli guessed that they were discussing the topic heavily. Young didn't get fussed by it and went to the other side of the room where he had gotten the tweezers. He put a microscope and some other technical devices carefully aside before he put everything else heedlessly on the floor. It took a moment for Eli to realize what Young was doing.  
Everything in the room was made of metal and aside from the clothes on their bodies they had no protection from the cold. The temperature of the floor and the walls would be easily lowered but if they stayed on the floor the whole time or leant against the walls they were going to be popsicles faster than they liked. Getting on to the tables would be the best option even if they were also made of metal.

Unenthusiastically Eli realized that he would have to move again for this. He grit his teeth and heaved himself up along the wall in his back. It was better to get the inevitable behind him as fast as possible. Eli wobbled dangerously when his head started to hurt again. He feared to fall back down when Young's arms suddenly supported him.  
"Go slow. Bakewell was directly in front of the crystals. You got the most of it."  
"I already came to the same conclusion," Eli muttered and concentrated on walking. Young had probably stood a couple of steps away when everything happened.

They just had reached the tables when Rush spoke again. "Colonel, we started to lower the temperature. You should start to feel it in a couple of minutes. TJ will monitor you from here as good as possible. Meanwhile we will continue to work on breaking Destiny's blockade. Lieutenant Scott is on Earth explaining our situation and to find out what exactly what Doctor Bakewell did so we won’t repeat his mistake."  
"Alright, keep us up to date and do whatever is possible." Young helped Eli to sit on the tables and Eli wished that they had at least some blankets. This one hour would feel like eternity as soon as the cold would start to seep through. Now he regretted giving up on his shirt.  
"And Rush?"  
"Yes Colonel?"  
"Stay away from the chair."  
The answer only came after a suspicious pause. "Yes Colonel."

Young set on the table next to Eli.  
"I don't like that I can't see you," TJ said into the sudden silence. "This time a kino would have been really helpful, Eli."  
"Actually I programed one to follow Doctor Bakewell around," Eli replied and looked at Young who pointed over to the door.  
"It's probably still outside in the corridor. It can't be changed now. We have to make do this way. Any pointers, TJ?" asked Young.   
"I think you know what to look for Colonel. Try to stay upright. Move around if possible. If you get tired it will be tempting to lie down but don't do that. Give the cold as few working surface as possible.” She didn’t sound happy.  
“Alright, TJ.”  
“Great,” Eli muttered next to Young. Lying down had been his first thought. And now he didn’t even have something to lean against. Uncomfortably he tried to sit in a way he would be able to hold longer than five minutes without stressing his rips. It seemed nearly impossible.  
Young skidded backwards on the table next to him until he could fold his leg beneath him and bend the other one. “Lean against my side. It should be okay for now. We should get closer together anway.“  
Eli looked at him with raised eyebrows. Typical Young. First he kept him on distance and suddenly closeness was no problem anymore as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  
In a situation like this it probably was for the Colonel, Eli thought to himself. This was about surviving. He was trained for this.  
Eli gave in and leant carefully against Young’s side. This actually was a bit more comfortable than everything else he had tried. Slowly he could feel how the air around them cooled down.  
“TJ, we are going to report every ten minutes. I don’t think the radio will last this long if we keep it going.”  
“Alright. Hang in there.”  
“We will.”  
The radio fell silent and silence spread in the room. Eli started to have difficulty holding still after a few moments already.

„Try to not think about it,“ Young advised calmly.  
“Easy for you to say.”  
“Tell me about your report. I won’t be able to read it for now.”  
“If you answer me a question first.”  
“What kind of question?”  
“What did you hope to accomplish by sending Doctor Jackson after me?” Through the direct contact of their bodies Eli was able to feel how Young went rigid for a moment.  
“You don’t need to deny it. Daniel already confessed. He knew it was no use to lie to me. We had the chance to talk some.”  
Chloe was going to be jealous as soon as she learned about his trip. It reminded Eli of how he had avoided her in the last couple of days. He was going to have to make it up to her as soon as they were out of here.

“Yes, Jackson has a way about him that makes it hard not to trust him,” Young replied.  
“Did you use him because of that? Because you were counting on it? The strange thing is it was not the main reason I was telling him so much. It was more about him listening without judging. He was curious and open and understood what I’ve been through with the Aza’an.”  
When Young stayed silent Eli continued. It was actually easier to talk about what was necessary when he didn’t look Young in the eye.  
“You, on the other hand, distrusted me from the first moment I stepped back on the ship. You didn’t give me a chance to calm down and to talk about it in my own time. You see me as the enemy and went distant.”  
“That is not…” Young did not finish the sentence. Eli could only guess that the Colonel had come to the conclusion himself that he was telling the truth.  
“Do you even realize what you are causing with your distrust? I know that I’m not innocent in this situation with my secrets but everyone here has some. And some of the things I saw weren’t easy. I just needed time but you couldn’t give me that.  
You have to protect the crew and the ship. You have to keep the order and then there is this whole military training that you won’t push aside so easily and that someone like me won’t ever understand completely. I know it and I understand it. But why are you excluding me so much if everything I do – as chaotic as it seems to be – never endangered the crew or the ship?”

It was Young’s turn to say something but he stayed silent. Eli didn’t push him this time. By now he had realized that he wasn’t innocent in the distrust between them. If he wanted to make peace with Young again he would have to learn patience and wait.

Goosebumps traveled across Eli’s arms. The temperature was steadily falling and soon they would reach the needed level. Eli’s breath already started to condense. Sadly it was only the beginning.

Without another prompt Eli started to retell the condent of his report. This way Young would finally get his answers and have enough time to find an answer himself for Eli.

oOo

TJ looked at her watch over and over again but time didn’t pass faster this way. It had only been half an hour. She was worried and hated to not be able to do anything. Everett was going to get through this, he was fit enough. But Eli with his injuries was another matter. She really hoped both of them would get through this. Not only the cold. The radiation was the one thing that made her restless. No one had talked about it but it was obvious that Everett and Eli would become ill with time. It would be naive to believe that both of them had not been contaminated by now, and they had no chance of a therapy a board.

“TJ?”  
She startled when Lisa came over to her and smiled belatedly. “What is it, Lisa?”  
“You do have a patient in the infirmary.”  
“Could you take care of it?” TJ asked. She didn’t want to leave her spot.  
“I would but Airman Haley insists on you treating her. I can stay here and keep an eye on things. If something happens I'll call you immediately”, assured Lisa.  
TJ nodded slowly. She was responsible for the whole crew and wasn’t allowed to prefer anyone, if it was to be avoided. And if she busied herself with Airman Haley maybe time would pass faster.  
Reluctantly she stood and after a last look back left the bridge.

oOo

Everett was cold like he hadn’t been in a long time. After his fall on the snowy planet he had been unconscious and hadn’t felt much of the cold. This was different. By now the cold seemed to have seeped into every pore of his skin. He had walked back and forth a few times and even had managed to get a protesting Eli to move some too but it had helped little. Both of them were shaking badly by now. They were hardly able to talk anymore without the shattering of teeth interrupting them. 

It had been about fourtyfive minutes already and nothing had changed about the blue liquid.

Eli had finished his story and Everett tried to understand all the information. He felt guilty because Eli was right with his summary of the situation. The bad thing was he hadn’t realized it himself. Just now he became aware of his behavior and he owed Eli an explanation himself.  
It was time to finally tell Eli what he had thought about the last weeks but right now it felt wrong. He didn’t want to give Eli his answers just because they were in danger of not surviving this. He wanted to have this conversation in peace when they were able to look at each other and speak normal with each other as hard as it would be.  
In his ears it sounded like another excuse but there weren’t supposed to be any more misunderstandings.

Now both of them sat on the tables again like before. After a short hesitation Everett laid his arms around Eli and pulled him closer. Eli protested but they couldn’t consider his hurting body now. Staying warm was priority. Sharing their body heat was the best solution.

Actually it helped some to share the little warmth they still had and it eased the teeth shattering a bit. It was a relief but it worried Everett at the same time. As long as they were shaking everything was fine. When they stopped shaking and didn’t feel the cold anymore it wouldn’t be a long way to unconsciousness. That couldn’t happen.

“What do you think how much time we have left if we get through this?” Eli suddenly asked into the silence. His words were slightly blurred.  
“What do you mean?” Everett replied belatedly.  
“If you have forgotten already we had full contact with a radioactive substance. While we are talking the radiation is eating through our DNA producing cancer cells. It’s not a question of if but when we are going to become ill that much I know. And the radiation sickness will make my fever look harmless.”  
Everett hesitated but there was no reason to deny it or talk it down. “Months, weeks. It depends on the strength I guess. But there will be enough time to find a solution.“  
“Back on Earth, yes, but we are still as far away from getting back home as the first day. Destiny has no cure for us.”

Belatedly Everett realized that he had started to rub along Eli’s upper arms. Eli didn’t say anything and Everett didn’t stop, just spread the movement more evenly. This way his frozen fingers got back some life.  
“Do you want to give up Eli?”  
“No. Not after everything I’ve already been through.” Eli laid an icy cold hand over Everett’s and stopped his movement. Laboriously he got upright and turned around to look Everett in the eyes before continuing.  
“You were angry when I told you about the nanites for Lisa. Because I did it behind your back. But if I’d have more nanites which would be no guarantee but a chance for healing would you take them?”  
Everett was about to push the question aside as rhetorical and irrelevant but stopped in the last moment. He looked intently at Eli’s face, the unsure expression there, and knew the next moment without a doubt that it wasn’t a theoretical question.  
“How many more did you bring Eli?” he answered with a counter question and tried to stay calm.  
“Just enough to save us both. They were planned for an emergency in case one of the crew was so badly injured he or she wouldn’t make it without help-- or for research if we made it home without having to use them. Now they are our only option if they work for us just half the way I saw it with the Aza’an.”  
“I understood that the nanites for Lisa were only superficial and TJ has confirmed that her blood tests had been negative up until now but you are talking about injecting us the nanites, I guess. What does that differentiate this from what you have been through?”  
“Everything. These nanites are clean. They aren’t combined with alien cells, they don’t have an own conscience and they can’t develop one. They are only small machines with the one task to repair cells. Human cells. You don’t have to understand it. It’s only important that you don’t need to fear them.”  
“It’s this easy, yes?” Everett asked and was hardly able to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. He wasn’t able to explain why the thought of the nanites in his body disturbed him so much. Maybe because again it was something that he wasn’t able to control or to fight. Maybe because the experience Eli had made concurred with all the negative reports from SG1.  
“Things are never easy. Do you think it is easy for me to let them back in to my body after everything that happened? Even though I know all this I’m only left with one thing: trust.”

Trust. There it was again. Everett had serious problems with it. He closed his eyes and wished Eli would lean against him again. The cold made it hard to think. “I can’t give you an answer now. Let’s do one problem after another. When we’re out of here and the cold is behind us, we will see what we can do about this.”  
“You didn’t listen to me. Or maybe I wasn’t clear enough. There is no guarantee the nanites will repair the already done damage. The longer we wait the more damage will be done. With every minute our chances sink. We should have taken them immediately. At least it would have spared me some pain.” Eli made a grimace.  
“Does that mean you have them with you right now?” Everett looked intently at Eli. He replied the look and finally reached slowly into the neckline of his jacket. With stiff fingers he got the pendant of his necklace out.  
“What good does an emergency solution if I don’t have it with me in an emergency?”  
Of cause, the necklace. It had been so obvious. Everett wanted to grab it and take it away from Eli.  
So he would stay in control.  
So they could analyze them.  
So they could decide later what to do with them.

Everett didn’t do it. He realized that it would be exactly the kind of reaction Eli had accused him of. “If you want to use them I won’t hold you back but I can’t take them. We know too little about them and your trust in your friends just isn’t enough for me. As long as there is the slightest chance of the nanites influencing me, it would compromise my position as the leader of this crew. I can’t give that up.”  
Eli’s face openly showed his disappointment but he didn’t say anything. For a while they just looked at each other, then Eli turned away and leaned against Everett again.  
Above Eli’s shoulder Everett watched how Eli opened a part of the intertwined pendant. It showed an injection needle. Eli’s hands were shaking far too much to hold the needle steadily against the crook of his arm.  
Still unsure if it was the right decision Everett helped him hold the needle steadily. “Thank you,” Eli whispered and shortly after that it was too late for any kind of doubts. Again small machines were on their way through Eli’s blood and it was only left to hope that they would do exactly what Eli was expecting of them.

This time Everett laid his arms around Eli without hesitation and pulled him as close as he could. They had hardly any body heat left to share.  
Only a little while long Everett told himself. They just had to hang on a little longer.

oOo

Eli hardly felt the cold anymore and it was difficult to keep his eyes open. The strong arms around his body were comforting.  
“Don’t fall asleep.”  
He had heard the warning so often in the last hour that he hardly reacted anymore.  
“You have to stay awake Eli. Just a little longer.”  
It took a while for Eli to realize that the soft voice wasn’t TJ’s or Lisa’s and especially not Young’s. Eli startled and stared at the blond woman leaning against the opposite wall unperturbed by the cold, watching him openly. He shook his head.  
“Doesn’t matter.” It was hard to speak.  
“Yes, stay awake.”  
“Why did you seal of the laboratory? You don’t care about the radiation.“  
“But the rest of the crew has to be protected.”  
“Whom are you talking to?” Young asked quietly.  
Eli looked at the woman but she shook her head slightly. Young couldn’t see her. So she was either a hallucination or a projection of the ship.  
“With myself so I stay awake at least. Just ignore it.”  
“Eli...”  
“Ignore it please,” Eli repeated before he had another thought.  
“It’s not the nanites. It’s fine, promised,” he assured and turned back to the woman. Whatever her source was he was a hundred percent sure that it wasn’t the nanites.  
“What do you want from me?”  
“That you live and evolve. You are an important puzzle piece. You proofed that time and again.”  
Eli groaned when he recognized the choice of words. “You spent too much time with Rush. And me too.” He rubbed his eyes and pressed closer to Young as far as it was possible in their position. The pain didn’t matter anymore. It had gone dully into the background. Or was it the nanites already doing their work?

She only smiled.  
“And how… is the picture supposed to look in the end?” he asked to keep the conversation going. Maybe he would actually learn something useful. Given she wasn’t a hallucination. And if she was maybe his subconscious tried to tell him something.  
She shrugged and came a couple of steps closer. “If I knew… if I could tell you so easily the whole journey wouldn’t be necessary anymore.”  
“Are you really Destiny? Or just a hallucination?” Eli finally asked skeptically.  
„No hallucination,“ she answered while she reached out and touched his cheek. He couldn’t feel the touch but he imagined feeling a hint of warmth.  
Eli got the vague feeling that there was more behind the phrasing of the answer but he was hardly able to concentrate on it. Slowly he drifted away despite the quiet words in the background.

“Stay awake Eli. Stay with me.”

oOo


End file.
